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Below are the links to all the articles published on ‘CAFESNCITIES MAGAZINE’ till date.
Below are the links to all the articles published on ‘CAFESNCITIES MAGAZINE’ till date.
Posted in Cafes N Cities A premium Lifestyle magazine: https://cafesncities.com/nostalgia-a-way-of-gratitude/
It was just like any other day. Nothing special or planned! Day was going ‘ON’ at its normal pace. However, all of sudden my husband offered to take us out on a long drive. Me and my little angel readily agreed! It hardly took us 30 mins to get ready and we were on wheels! Cold breeze and lovely gathering of clouds in the sky were complimenting us for the drive. We almost drove for 100 kms with a single stopover for ice-cream and coffee for ourselves. Just then while sitting on the bench on the lake side watching the huge mountains, I saw my daughter innocently licking her ice-cream.
She was looking so adorable that I couldn’t take my eyes off her!
Realizing that getting busy with our daily chores how at times we become ungrateful for forgetting that happiness lies in the small things in our day to day life! How often do we take time out to be grateful and live just in the moment appreciating all that we have rather than complaining about all that we want, desire or hunt for…?
Few moments of silence and not knowing what happened to me, I started to tease her and play around with her. I was cuddling her, making her laugh her heart out. She hugged me and started jumping out of excitement. The innocence in her smile, crispiness in her voice was making the day more beautiful. Making me feel blessed and grateful for all that I have in life.
As soon as she was done with her ice-cream, I took her to a nearby pleasantry shop and asked her to get something for her.
She started to pick up all sorts of colourful toys, filling them up in her little hands and tiny pockets! I couldn’t stop laughing. Just then she found an ‘ELSA TUSUM DOLL’ and threw the rest of everything away! I took that doll in hand, made it a puppet and started teasing her, calling her name in a blabbering tune…. “We got one more pet name for her! Our secret.” Our conservations started with that doll making her a puppet, taking her to a fairyland that got converted into a story…
Not realizing that almost 20 mins had passed, we were busy playing like this. People have stopped and gathered around enjoying our ‘Doll Puppet Show’. That was the most unforgettable minutes wherein we had forgotten everything else, especially me! I was just in that moment with her! I came back to present with the sound of applause around me. Feeling embarrassed at the same time, glad, I got up, smiling to everyone, took her in my arms and went to the counter. Happily, purchased the ELSA DOLL and left.
It has been a couple of years now, my little angel from single digit has grown to double digit with her age, still our puppet shows in the morning and odd times in the day to play around with the tiny little doll is ‘ON’ making us both forget our actual AGE.
Posted in CafesNCities Magazine: https://cafesncities.com/nostalgia-a-way-of-gratitude/
Since Long time I have wanted to start my day with writing my mind here, Pouring down my feelings, emotions, sentiments, experience and all whatever I have gone through. Finally thought why not start from today itself. As its 1st October today!
What’s so special for today? Well everything. We humans have a tendency to be ungrateful, complaining more and being less thankful. I have learned my hard lessons from life and the 1st and foremost is of being ‘Thankful’. I am starting my beautiful day today with a smile, thanking for everything – EVERYTHING in my life. I have witness we can stay happy if we complain less and look our life with all the happenings in it with a different attitude.
Here, today I am elated as my daughter’s exams got over yesterday. Ah, what a relief truly. Though still she is in her primary grades but the stress of her exams for more than two weeks I felt was on me. I felt as if I was appearing for my board exams. I studied each and every subject with her in detail to make her understand and prepare for exams. No doubt I revised my old portion and learned a lot of new things. So, Yes I am grateful.
She took me to my previous days of learning. I was forced to recall my combined studies that I had been doing with my friends and classmates. What fun it used to be. More gossip and less studies (I guess that’s what combined studies are! Isn’t it?). Midnight tea breaks and instant Maggie Noodles were the centre of attraction rather than the focus for the result and marks. We have one or two black sheep in the herd, who were studious and were behind the ranks but the rest all of us were badass cracked heads 🙂
With all the fuss and drama that we went through jointly for the past two weeks were thrilling. So finally yeah, here I am celebrating the HALF YEARLY EXAMS completed and looking forward to the ANNUAL EXAMS now.
Just two days for exams to get over and marks have started to pour in. MCQ marks! First I learned the abbreviation of MCQ – Multiple Choice Questions! I am not so into the marks that are scored for this year exams but still I am! Mind understands that we are going through hard times. This Pandemic situation has made everyone adopt the change with new lifestyles. I am debating these days with myself for marks scored and grades received! Is it truly important? Especially in today’s situation! When all our children are taking online classes. It’s the virtual school they are attending. More than eight months have passed and they have not met their friends, or talked with them personally or hugged them. No more going out of home, or doing any physical activities. Everyone is just trapped in their own secured homes for the sake of safety! So what children are actually memorising by course learning and understanding, are these things gonna work for them in future or in practical life? I agree knowledge is important but how we use it and implement it in our practical life is altogether a different chapter.
Well, Writing my journal here is On & OFF. So Day 3 here precisely can be the other day also :-). Anyways, in no time it was the weekend. From March 2020, since this Pandemic started everyday is a working day, at the same time all days are like weekends. Full family has ‘Work from home’ schedules. School from home. Initially it was great but now it feels like loads of never ending work. Household chores, other works, professional work, personal work, everything has come under one roof. Pretty sure making everyone go crazy now. Most of us must have gotten acquainted with this new lifestyle, but am sure there are still many who are struggling to get adjusted and adopt this. It’s not easy I know. But with no choice left we have to learn to cope up with this routine.
Anyways, so yeah as I said it was a weekend and I decided to treat myself with movie night after a long long time . . . The other day I was reading reviews about the movie ‘Five Feet Apart’ released in 2019. Release Date: 15 March 2019 (USA)
Genre: Drama, Romance
Director: Justin Baldoni
Written by: Mikki Daughtry and Tobia Iaconis
Cast: Haley Lu Richardson, Cole Sprouse, Moises Arias
The movie is influenced by the Novel ‘Five Feet Apart’ by Rachael Lippincott released on 20th November 2018.
“Humans touch our first form of communication. Safety, Security all in a gentle clasp of fingers or a brush of lips on your soft cheek connects us when we’re happy, bolsters us in times of fear, excites us in times of passion and love. We need that touch from someone we love as much as we need our breath but I never understood the importance of touch. His touch. Until I couldn’t have it. So if you’re watching this, and you’re able, touch him. Touch her. Life’s too short to waste a second.”
She realized the importance of touch when she longed to hug her best friend, but she couldn’t ever again. “Could you ever love someone, you can never touch,” This question, questions our sanity and our beliefs of love. The answer lies in ourselves, would ever fall for someone, whose lips wouldn’t ever fall on you? Would you stay away from them, just to keep them alive? Would their survival ever mean to you more than yours?
Stella and Will, the protagonists of the drama unknowingly meet in a hospital and they are obliged to keep apart six feet at all times. However, Stella steals an inch from Cystic Fibrosis, and the disease was indeed indebted to her, by robbing all her joys of her adolescence and the distance is reduced to 5 feet. So, that’s why it’s titled Five Feet Apart. Apart from the premier protagonists, you’d love the tale that’s intricately crafted with a huge amount of amour and even all the other characters like Barb, Poe, Julie, and Abby, my personal favourite.
Few of my ‘Favourite Dialogues’ from the movie
“If I’m going to die, I’d like to actually live first.”
“How long will I live my life afraid of what-ifs?”
“I’m tired of living without really living.”
“…I want to be fearless and free. It’s just life, Will. It’ll be over before we know it.”
“…Don’t think about what you’ve lost. Think of how much you have to gain. Live, Stella.”
If this year has taught me anything, it’s that grief can destroy a person.”
“I think a well-drawn cartoon can say more than words ever could, you know? It could change minds.”
If you read this till the end, take a deep breath, feel it, feel the life oozing inside you. Be grateful for the breath, be grateful for your life, express your gratitude for everything as not everyone receives the joy you’re treading by.
It’s my birthday month. I can see the excitement for my upcoming birthday all around me. All my loved one are trying to hide it from me though I can easily feel it. Preparation and planning to surprise me have started much before then I thought. My daughter being the most EXCITED to celebrate it made up a gang with a couple of my close friends and families. All the secret phone calls and their murmuring kept me hooked up and suspicious. The more they tried to hide it, the more I would peep in to destroy their planning. Whole week turned out to be like the ‘Hide & Seek’ game in our house. Can’t wait for the final surprise on my Birthday. I can be a spoiler but I don’t want to be! So, yeah here I am supporting them all but keeping quite and acting as I don’t know anything. . .
But the secret of my life at my home front is ‘I am the Planner’. Planning and implementation can’t be done without me! So YES, I am there but NOT there. . . He He He. . .
The day started with a fantastic surprise by my beloved daughter and her father. I could hear their whispers in my sleep in the early morning and knew they were planning out something for the morning and just waiting for me to wake up. Here, as I knew something is cooking up I took my own sweet time to wake up! My daughter was sleeping with me in the early morning but when I opened my eyes to get up I couldn’t find her beside me. I had to scream at both of them to signal that I have woken up. Initially I thought to creep in the Living Room and surprise them with whatever they were doing, but then as I said I didn’t want to be a spoiler so I had to call them to our to bedroom.
To my ‘Surprise’ they came up with a cup cake. Candle on top of it and two beautiful fresh ‘RED ROSE’. I was teasing my daughter by not blowing away the candle, she got hyper and stated MAMMA do it! After a few mins of teasing and having fun, I like a good baby did what I was asked to do and they hugged me singing the ‘Birthday Song’. On my Birthday I was not allowed to make breakfast. So I waited for the next surprise. My favourite Breakfast presented in the most elegant way. I truly cherished each and every moment of the morning.
My little angel got the ‘Birthday Card’ she has made at night and showed it to her father announcing proudly that I am the 1st one to wish mamma at midnight 12:00 O’clock. He looked at me and I couldn’t stop myself but to blush.
Then I was honoured with few of my favourite songs played in the background for almost half of the day. After lunch my little princess left to give a surprise to me in the evening stating have the gala movie time with DAD (daughters really grow up fast). She has planned everything with selection of the movie, the ambience, décor, and few snacks. I was thoroughly enjoying the pampering. In between yes calls and messages for the ‘Birthday Wishes’ that I kept reverting.
Now after the movie as soon as I planned to take a nap, the doorbell rang. I had my little munchkins on the door. Had a bigger surprise when few more friends arrived with freshly baked homemade cake. This was the surprise! The real fun started. My daughter along with our family and friends had planned this ‘BIG BOX’ surprise. Wherein my gift was wrapped in two layers of boxes with lots of confetti’s and handwritten wishes. My task was to guess who has written which wish and then only I can proceed.
Guess What? I guessed all the wishes written by whom WRONG! Now this was the most exciting part. I kept guessing wrong. None of my answers were correct. The room was filled with laughter and at the same time it was upsetting few and infuriating other rest of them. But I was enjoying it thoroughly. Finally as they had no choice left, I got all my gifts as they were for me!
Day didn’t end here! As soon as everyone disbursed for the day and I was relaxing on the couch, just 15 mins to go for the clock to strike twelve and change the date and day – the doorbell rang again. I was like who could be now at this point of time in the night? My little one opened the door and I had one more surprise. I had one of my best buddies at the door! she came up with her little munchkin and of course a DELICIOUS CAKE. Again an advance well planned surprise which my daughter knew. We cut the cake exactly at 12:00 and had it with a lot of fun and chit chats!
What A Day! I truly had the best time. Every year I think this is the best BIRTHDAY I had till now, but the later year proves me wrong with the previous year giving me ample memories to cherish with the best time spent with my loved ones.
I have put my faith in the Belief…
To believe in you!
You said when “I am ‘THERE’!”
I am ‘THERE’!
Today I want YOU to ask yourself for OUR sake,
‘Are you really ‘THERE’?
I was a DEAD flower preserved in between the pages of life,
You came, picked me up and gave the life, the fragrance back…
Making me bloom once again!
I was lost in my DARK world, not even bordering to take the minimum doses of light….
You came providing me all the required SUNSHINE I needed!
I was all a STRAIGHT face without forming any curves on my lips…
You came SMILING to brighten my day, teaching me that it is the best exercise for the heart and face.
I was all COLD on the peak of negligence mode for myself, losing all my CHARM and chirpiness…
You came with the most innocent and captivating style of CAPTURING anybody’s heart!
HERE, I started to Believe that I BELIEVE in You!
But then all of a sudden, World went upside down!
Everyone now is trapped with this new unseen virus and disease!
Now when we all are learning to adopt this new lifestyle,
Coping up with uncertainties and natural disasters,
I started feeling you not being ‘THERE’!
You are there but not THERE!
I am struggling daily, thinking how to express myself to get you back, making you realize that
I miss you
Those days have come now for which I wasn’t prepared at all!
I laugh to make you smile, but these seems like an impossible task
to be achieved ever!
I am putting all my efforts with full confidence to get you back!
To conquer the unachievable, but it seems like VAIN to make you happy and get you back on track!
I am day by day deteriorating, failing to make you understand how much you are WANTED and NEEDED!
Now, whenever you say I am THERE!
Why do I miss the ZEST?
Why do I miss the US?
Why do I miss the depth of our conversations, jokes, cute fights and healthy arguments?
Why do I feel everything has come to a STANDSTILL?
Yes, you are THERE, I agree
PERFECTLY fulfilling the duties of multiple characters in your life!
But, in between these multiple characters of yours, I am going crazy searching for ‘YOU’ and only ‘YOU’!
I just want to convey a simple message to you here, that
If you are ‘THERE’
Everything is ‘THERE’
Else I can’t even think and express,
And explain to you the reality that will be faced by all your loved ones!
That how Everything will get RUINED and LOST!!!
I want YOU to Believe now in my Belief –
I Believe that I Believe in YOU!
It’s only you who can keep this belief going –
“If I am ‘THERE’, I am ‘THERE’!”
Published in Cafes N Cities Magazine: https://cafesncities.com/i-believe-to-believe-in-you/
Full article can be read on the link given above.
“Are we what we are today, because it was destined, or we grew with the help of our teachers?” Today when everyone is taking this opportunity to talk about teachers and show the gratitude through various means like making cards, doing online ‘thanks’ programs, writing articles, sending emails and doing telephonic talks to wish them, even I want to pay tribute to all my teachers in my life and be a part of this great celebration! By observing myself for what I am today, I want to thank not only to my academic teachers but also to them who have been a part of my journey into moulding me and helped me become what I am today.
Teachers are those who when the students are guided through a process of self – transformation that is much larger than mere memorization of facts come in picture. Education is no doubt about creating an environment and support system in which a person change who they are! Teachers mediate and guide that transformation.
Moving further with the grades I cherish my memories with my English Teacher in higher secondary school, who at that time became the ‘ANCHOR’ for my life, saving my best friend from an emotional tornado. She became our philosopher and guide like a ray of light in the dark tunnel leading us towards the bright road. We will always be grateful to her. Such incidents in the school of life wherein the various teachers have played an important role teaching us variety of subjects of life like values, common sense, respect, empathy and other qualities, are engraved so strongly on my heart that it has transformed me completely. Thanks indeed would be a very small word, still I want to Thanks to All who have been my teacher, my guide and philosopher supporting me in all situations of life, especially when I needed a hand to hold me and save me from falling down. Thanks for Changing my World. ‘Happy Teachers Day’!
A person’s personality defines whether the person at work is nice or not. Many times, it’s a person’s character, and at times it’s forced or influenced for a change over due to work environment and pressure.
But I feel one should stay balanced at work and take things smartly. Pressure will always remain whether it’s a workplace, to achieve targets for your success or in life! How to deal with them is important. Being nice and generous genuinely always pay back. But one should not be so nice, that people walk over you.
By stating the correct and solid boundaries you can save yourself from getting damaged mentally. With the experience we can mention today that being nice is not bad. If you have the proper knowledge and experience about when to say ‘Yes’ and ‘NO’, it is not bad being nice. If you’re a kind person, express it. It’s good to be sunshine as many might have a cloudy day but won’t express it. Just be careful with the people who approach you only when needed and then disrespect you. Being nice is an art. Don’t let someone steal it from you. Protect your ideas at your workplace as we are living in a competitive world. So, it’s obvious to have competition all around. If someone assume you are weak – prove them wrong. Create and maintain balance, to be genuinely kind but professional. Be open to accept compliments or critics with grace, share your opinions with respect; expressive with your ideas; learn to share constructive critics but communicate it well, and don’t be a nerd.
Develop yourself in both ways – socially and professionally in nature at work environment. Let your company get benefit more through its relaxed and comfortable employees. When an employee is not expressive at work, somehow, they stop themselves from giving they’re through input. Don’t be too friendly with all your work mates, as then they can take you for granted.
Being nice at work environment could possibly be respecting other people’s religion, race and culture. Being diplomatic according to me is not ‘nice’. You cannot spy on your workers by being nice. One should not violate the privacy of an individual. Be ethical with your work, cheating in any way won’t take you to a long way giving success. You might achieve it for a period but ultimately the truth and facts would be out someday, and you would be ruined. This applies to both out professional as well as personal life.
Stay clear with your priorities i.e., to work for the company, and not to please your colleagues. Prepare a plan on how you can achieve it. ‘Focus on the bigger picture in life’.
Stay strong: This difficult phase will help you, grow, once you have dealt with this situation successfully, you will feel stronger and more confident. Don’t let the office environment make you weak. Be a flexible listener. Be ready to give ears to other’s opinions, then give your piece of mind by staying rational. Avoid using mobile, maintain eye contact. Others should not feel ignored by you. Discourage gossip and gossipers. They just waste time for little entertainment. ‘AVOID’ is the remedy for them.
It’s up to us to stay nice at workplace by staying positive and maintain our dignity.
This blog is especially dedicated to the books – My Books! A Book where I am the AUTHOR! Few where I am CO-AUTHOR. Will be sharing my collection and contribution to the writing world. Also will keep on adding and updating for future references 🙂
This book is a collection of various articles and works on non-fiction based on some real-life experiences. Subjects like Happiness, Hobbies, Challenges, Perfection, Relationships and Technology are covered in this book. Personally, I feel we all are full of emotions and sentiments. Knowledge is everywhere and can be enhanced more with experience. We can overcome all negativity and achieve anything through love, friendship, acceptance and hope. Destiny can be made and changed!
They taught us what pain is… Sacrifice is their Middle name… Yes, they are CALLED as Mothers.
Real stories of the mother about the journey of 9 months of having a baby. Released on Mother’s Day.
Motherhood generally describes a part of woman’s life but the word often carries a woman’s world in itself. Being a girl, you are often asked to get married as soon as you enter valid age. Once you are married, the immortal question to plan a baby comes in the queue. then this story usually starts from the good news. It goes through a long journey of patience for nine months and ends with a melodious cry. This is a story every woman has lived. A story every girl imagines about.
Use Name Lamiya Siraj in Reference.
A special Anthology for Mother’s Day. Launched on 10th May 2020.
Mother – Yes a small word but carry a lot of strength and a power to hold things.
As Father’s Day is jut around the corner, and when it comes to Papa, we never do anything special for them. Lets break this stereotype this time, and gift our father a book with a content on HIM.
We all have superpower that we are not completely aware of. We don’t even know the ways by which we can find out what ‘superpower’ we have unless there are such circumstances that reveal the powers.
If we talk about simple magical feel or power, we felt any time in our life, can be smallest or something big achieved. If we start our day positively and end on a thanking note, am sure we would find more then one magical moment in one single day. It could be the smile of our parents, children, grandparents, friends or even a STRANGER!
I am sure if given a chance or asked a question about ‘Magical Power’ that one can have we might get many amazing answers and ideas for it. As now our world is full of creative minds. Also, necessities play a vital role in this.
If same question asked to me on personal level. My answer to it: If I had a magic power, it would be to READ & CONTROL people with my mind for betterment. I am an imaginative person and I do believe in the power of magic as for me its confidence, will power and determination to achieve something you decide, desire or aim for. Magic is simply the manipulation of energy in its various forms. I believe things can be invoke into being, by intentions and focus.
I am sure we all have some talent that must have saved us magically from difficult situations time and again. It might be communication skills or to think smartly for a solution on immediate basis. Magic can be tapped into when we learn how to see it, feel it, sense it and then interact with it.
I am happy to be nominated for AWESOME BLOGGER AWARD by Betul Erbasi. You can go and check her website for advance idea about writing. Since you are blogging, I am sure you all are interested in it. So, give it a try and check it out.
Betul’s questions for ME:
Whoever wants to claim it as usual 🙂
My questions for Nominees:
Can You think of an memory attached with the ‘SCENT’ in life? It could be of anything, but surely close to the heart. Am Sure you must be having more then ONE!
Our brain stores memories through everything we touch, experience, taste, smell, see and many other such things. ”SMELL” certainly is an element, which helps stored memories to flash out.
I personally feel the SCENT – SMELL is the strongest memory trigger. Memories and emotions are a strong combination in itself.
It can be a smell of perfume associated with ‘SOMEONE’ we are close with, or a strong SCENT of lilacs. It could be the scent of the OCEAN or the Mud of first rain after summer. It could be the smell of coffee or tea made by mother, the first thing in morning. Smell of your favourite food, perfumes, flowers, books and its pages, and so much more…
It can be connected to an event that has a strong emotional impact on us in the past. So when we smell that particular smell, it can trigger an emotional response. This can happen even years down the road.
It’s a fact that our sense of smell is automatically heavily connected to our memory system. Few such memories are engraved in me for lifetime. The scent that evokes memories for me is Eucalyptus. It has always remained closed to my heart. It’s my absolute most favourite scent, that is full of nostalgia, love and simpler times. My childhood memories are attached with it, with lot of functions, celebrations and gatherings.
Eucalyptus was used by my mother in the mixer of freshly homemade ‘Mehndi’ with few other ingredients. Till date no celebrations are completed without applying it on our hands. The aroma of mehndi stays for days on hands and months in hearts.
Also the smell of gentle monsoon breeze takes me to afternoon sitting outside our house on a porch with my mother and friends.
Anytime if I happens to smell such familiar smell in life, I try to take it in me as much as I can as an storage for the upcoming days. It makes me feel alive and energetic.
Do share with me what is yours? Would love to read your share!
Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.”
– Andrew Carnegie
I am taking the opportunity to write this blog, as it strike to me while playing a simple game of ‘LUDO’, how important it is form a team and do team-work. This game taught me a lot, that I would be sharing here, which could be applied to various aspects in our life.
7 Mantra of Teamwork to follow in life.
Teamwork is the collaborative effort of a team to achieve a common goal or to complete a task in the most effective and efficient way.
Therefore, successful teamwork requires clearly defined roles and purpose along with the interaction between teammates.
Here are the 7 mantras to observe and take value from.
WHAT ARE THE SIX MOST IMPORTANT WORDS? – I ADMIT I MADE A MISTAKE
THE FIVE MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – YOU DID A GOOD JOB.
THE FOUR MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – WHAT IS YOUR OPINION.
THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – IF YOU PLEASE.
THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – THANK YOU.
THE ONE MOST IMPORTANT WORD – WE
THE LEAST IMPORTANT WORD – I
These to be remembered throughout our life. These will help us to become a better person and moreover a better leader.
You may be a great asset yourself, but It does not matter if you cannot lead your team. What’s the point if you cannot utilize your team, their skills and resources.
It will look natural “if it is natural”. Start imbibing these qualities in your life, accept your mistakes, appreciate other’s work, consider feedback’s, give respect where it is due, be humble and believe in TEAMWORK.
In order to have an effective team that can bring you the best in all, you need to involve all your team members in planning and share the workload. Each team member needs to actively participate and contributes towards the successful completion of the assignments. This is the only way to achieve an A+ result. To meet this, you need members who think like a team player. But you cannot simply force them to do so. The only way to achieve this is to inspire them with some successful methodologies. You need to have an understanding about each and every team member and have a clear cut idea about what will bring the best out of them.
In order to have an effective team, we need to have open conversations. This will help to maintain a low level of conflict and will also increase the cooperation of your team members. Few mistakes and few complaints will also make a team effective one. A group of members that will take the responsibility together is an asset for any team.
An effective team will have a clear role and clear-cut goal for their team members. Well defined plan and effective relationship are other qualities of an effective team. Constructive, clear and frank criticism is another quality of an effective team.
Create a team with members that are focused and responsible about their goal in order to walk through the road of grand success. Remember these great words from John Lennon ‘A dream that you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality’.
Teamwork in Business
Nowadays! Everyone wants to succeed in their businesses, want to deliver their best quality products, and excellent services, for delighting their clients. For that, a company’s teams are their backbone for it. Businesses need strong teams that work smartly, with excellence. Without the talented team, you’re just the walking dead without motor skills to go where you want to go.
“A founder’s individual characteristics are important but what’s more important are that person’s ability to bring a bigger and more experienced team with them,” the researchers say. “And the bigger that team the more likely the firm will succeed.”
What is a Team?
A team is any group of people who work together to achieve something to gain a shared outcome. It may be a sales team, or a call centre team, or a rugby team, or the executive team of a multinational corporation. The same simple rules for success apply to all of them.
It starts with the team leader. Every team needs a leader, a captain, a chief, and the success of that team is almost entirely dependent on what the team leader does – and doesn’t do. Great team ensures great teamwork, achieved by consistent application of some age-old basics:
Teamwork is defined as “A joint action by a group of people, in which each person subordinates his or her individual interests and opinions to the unit and efficiency of the group.”
The does not mean that the individual is no longer important; however, it does mean that effective and efficient teamwork goes beyond individual accomplishments.
The most effective teamwork is produced when all the individuals involved harmonize their contributions and work towards a common goal.
These are few non-fiction life changes books recommended for a good read!
List of fiction and few others will be posted soon. Till then enjoy this!
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” — Oprah Winfrey
Being grateful and spreading gratitude can do so much for yourself and for others. We have every day to be grateful for, but we tend to forget to take the time to acknowledge what we have, who we have, and everything around us.
What does be “grateful” really mean? We keep hearing about it, but how come we still don’t practice it? Gratefulness is being appreciative of what you have — whether they’re positive or negative experiences.
I have found that the best way to be grateful is to begin by noticing the small things and to acknowledge within yourself how thankful you are for something. For instance, when you get your morning cup of coffee or tea, smell the aroma and the nice feel of the cup in your hands. Give a thought of thanks.
When you go outside and see the clouds think a thought of thanks for the new day and what it will bring. Notice the pattern of the clouds and the play of light and shadow on your surroundings. Feel a thought of thanks for that. Feel all the blessing in life in terms of being alive and having been loved. Being healthy and not deficit for anything. For all that Almighty has provided us in terms of requirement and abundance. For nature and natural therapies.
Go through your day noticing and being thankful for the little things. Let your grateful nature flow out to others around you.
As you practice the small things it becomes easier and easier to feel grateful for more and more things. Let that attitude spread out even further to your acquaintances and finally to the world at large.
Practice makes it perfect. Pretty soon you will find that you are more grateful and happier.
The best way to be grateful is to appreciate everything universe offers with an open heart.
Because the universe never makes mistakes, it always makes miracles.
I am one, you are too!!
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” –William Arthur Ward
Tell your co-worker how happy you are that the two of you are working together. Notice something about your spouse or child (or best friend) that you hadn’t noticed before and let them know how grateful you are that they have that quality.
1. Share a specific example of something they did for you and how it made a difference in your life.
2. Do something little but thoughtful for them.
3. Give a hug.
4. Tell them you’re there if they have anything they want to talk about.
5. Give them something of yours that you think they would enjoy.
6. Invite them to do something you know they’ve always wanted to do.
7. Encourage them to try something you know they want to try.
8. Offer to do something you know they don’t enjoy doing.
9. Compliment them on a talent, skill, or strength that you admire.
10. Look them straight in the eyes and say, “You make the world a better place.”
We all have something or someone to be grateful for. Invest in yourself by taking the time to be grateful throughout your days.
Self-control is the only thing that can help us focus to master almost anything into our life. When we have self-knowledge that’s when we will be able to focus on the things that we want to be done.
By self-knowledge, one must take full control of mind and the body will follow along.
In other words, one must become the master and not the slave of own self.
First, it’s totally normal for our mind to reject new thoughts and ideas. It’s just part of the Law of Attraction learning curve. The idea is to focus on feeling good. When purposely creating through Law of Attraction, you are trying to override your current programming in order to create a new belief about your desire. However, in order to create a new belief, it normally takes many times thinking a new thought before it sounds logical. When your new thought starts sounding more logical and you can feel your new belief forming in terms of how feel about it, you know you’re on the right track!
Focus is the result of contraction and attention while attempting on doing something. These attributes are easily said than done. Practice makes it perfect!
“He’s commanded the one who can’t obey himself.”
One must pay attention to the reactions to things, how he/she process them internally, judge them. Do the best job you can in understanding your own reactions and biases. Then work towards making those thoughts the most positive and productive they can be.
Well it really does take a moment in our life where we choose to go a little “crazy” and give our self the right to really BELIEVE that wildly unbelievable things can start to happen for us.
Our logical minds keep us from trying new things. Logic will protect us from risky unfamiliar endeavours. It protects us from the possibility of failure.
Here is the thing – put logic aside here. Logic will not help you manifest anything. It’s not logical anyone who is not a millionaire already to become a millionaire. Statistically speaking, you must know that most business fails within a hand full of years. Most marriages fail. Most jobs end. Life ends and you don’t even know when. Don’t go by logic or statistics.
Time to ‘BITE’ away this quarantine time!Let’s get creative…
Isolated! Everyone seems to be talking about isolation and being isolated these days, isn’t it? Like many I have also been trying to seek out silver linings. Worked hard to understand isolation – not just in dictionary but by experiencing it, living through it in today’s prevailing conditions.
Isolation I feel is passing negative energies among us by making us think we are left alone and locked down. Are We? We need to think on this the other way around! Prisoners in cell are isolated, as they can’t meet anyone. Person suffering from dangerous – spreading diseases are isolated, to prevent the spread! People in another country or place separated from their family and loved ones are isolated, wherein they don’t have anyone to talk or have emotional and mental support. We, on the other hand are safe in our homes with our families. We are truly blessed. We have someone to live with under same roof. Place to roam around in our own paradise. Excess to technology via all available gadgets through social media and internet. We in every way are connected – just bound to Stay In and not go Out!
Rather than this time taking a toll on us, we should make the best of this opportunity. Knowingly or unknowingly prayers are answered. Asking ‘A break’ from almighty. So now, we have asked for it, and we have it!
At this point in time, we are homebound, so we need to get a balanced stimulation from basic activities at home. Just make sure that the stimulation isn’t coming from one place, like a computer screen. Try not to think about missing your original life. Set a long-term goal.
Don’t think of self-isolation as losing your precious time. Enjoy the lack of social pressure. This is a great – opportunity to anchor yourself. You are not different; you are still you. It’s the lifestyle that’s changed.
I am sure through hard earned money giving sweat and blood, houses are built by our ancestors or us. But have we spent quality time in it? No right? So why not now? Convert our home in dream project of what we like to do! Living room can be our relaxing area or office area which is much in demand this day. Work from home! Place a yoga mat and let the room be your workout place. Start spending more time with indoor plants if you love nature, get more of them. Nourish them.
Expand your creativity by getting more experience in planting. If you are a cooking fan, time to explore kitchen and become an upcoming master chef! If you were a person who loved painting but have forgotten it due to lack of busy schedule, this is the time. Play with colours and let your soul get wet in the rain creating rainbow of your feeling pouring the colours back in life. Same goes for music, dancing, singing, crafting, knitting, writing and much more. Who and what is stopping you!
Once u start now and if you continue being interest and are enjoying the creative activity, then you keep practising and receiving feedback. ‘‘The higher – level creativity we see in quarantine times is vital. But do not let the existence of possible superstars stifle your own creativity.’’
With enough time, deliberate practice, focus and improvement, you may advance to expert level creativity. Sometimes, a creator’s contribution out lives them and continue to influence a field and be enjoyed or used for generations after their death. You don’t have to be working for a cure or entertaining millions for your ideas to have value for yourself, your friends, or the longer community. Creative activities can help you reduce stress, handle trauma, and improve your mood – all of which are particularly helpful at the current moment.
It’s been already more than a month in confinement, I am far from happy. Every day I follow news, graphics on how many people are recovered, how many new infections, and how many succumbed. Covid-19 has helped me refocus my thoughts to the present moment.
Right now, I don’t have time to think about my career, future, plans. All I want right now is to keep my family alive and happy. We can survive with nominal and basic things. Covid-19 is truly both a physical and mental challenge. I browse social media and see some people are happy that they can hear the birds again. I get it, it is nature’s revenge as humanity failed to protect it.
We humans are getting a lesson in humility. We are not just confined to a place, but it seems in time as well. In the midst of all this I have relearnt the importance of letting go.
Thinking loud as of present situation is demanding this that is distance getting us distant with all our relations during this pandemic when we all are quarantine? This tricky situation in all of ours’s life what we are facing, that does distance between two persons make them distant? Well answer to this question vary from person to person on personal experience and how they handle their relationship. Distance cannot be only in romantic relationship, let me make myself clear here! It can be between friends, siblings, parents, mother-daughter, teacher-students, boss-employees and all those who you can think of right now. Any relation that makes your soul happy. Makes your day brighter. Keeps you going for the day, week, month, year and life!
First thing we need to know; it’s gonna be hard.
Not being able to see their smile or feel them will be tough, and you’ll get a sense of loneliness. But, if you’re lucky, so will be he/she. It means that both of you are feeling the same feeling that you want each other. Make sure to keep up with them, ask about how their day was and be affectionate, keeping your expectation at a bay. You can get to know them more by calling on the phone, texting each other, and/or video calls, all perfect ways to maintain a strong relationship.
You’ll have to know that not many people can do a long-distance relationship because of the fact that they can’t see each other. But, if you can have a strong relationship from a long-distance, you’ll find a love better than any relationship you can have with a person near you, because once you finally see them in real life, the outcome is much better.
If you believe that you found the right person, are smart with your decision, and can maintain loyalty to this person, then absolutely go for it.
Let’s free ourselves from the boundaries we have set. Break the walls. Communicate and spread love expressing our feelings. As we never know ‘Kal ho na ho’ (today is all we have)!
Everyone is facing the period of quarantine going on right now! Living through it everyone is going through their shares of up and downs. In a way only solution by which ‘WE’ can save ourselves and everyone around is ‘STAY HOME, STAY SAFE’.
This more than a month period with the pandemic has made me see the things I knew in brand new way again! I have started observing, thinking and re-thinking. I am sure most of us are doing the same!
Let’s refresh it and start living it as altogether as something NEW learned!
‘‘Live life is such a way, that life falls in LOVE with YOU!
Check out my poem on cafesandcities magazines for ‘Mother’s Day’.
Pls hit the like button if you like it 😊❤️🙏🏻
‘‘Sleepless nights to give you peaceful sleeps’’
‘‘Wrinkles on her face, proves the struggle for your grace’’
‘‘You are her everything, she never had a personal space.’’
‘‘Your happiness makes her day bright!’’
The only thing she longs for now, is to have you in her sight.’’
‘‘You are the reason for the smile on her lips.
Keeping you first, however others may crib.’’
‘‘With her life’s struggle, to make you grow she has gone all weak and low,
So, in your youth now, don’t complain when her age had made her ‘Slow’.’’
‘‘You make her sit alone on chair by wind chap sound,
When winds blow for her End and prepares to go.’’
‘‘She made you grow big,
But now all you do is make her wait.’’
‘‘Don’t you think this woman is above everything?’’
‘‘If you are a follower, become devotee to this woman who dedicated her all life,
For you and your happiness.’’
‘Life is a roller coaster ride.’ It’s full of ups and downs. We surely have lots of moments in life where we celebrate and feel blessed. But sometimes life puts us in a situation where everything seems falling apart. We try hard but situation doesn’t improve. We try to seek help from others but either no one come to help, or their help doesn’t make differences. In this situation we feel totally helpless. This is very critical situation. This is the situation that makes the difference. The difference between a ‘common man’ and a ‘great man’.
Normally in such situation maximum people lose their hope. Some even commit suicides. Some feel it’s their destiny and nothing can be improved, and they leave everything on destiny and give up trying to improve the situation.
It’s not that I have not faced such a trapped situation in my life. Couple of times I have and felt devasted! Especially when my father left us for his journey here after! He was suffering from a chronic disease. And I have witnessed him suffer for more than a year. His last 3 months were Pathetic were we all were helpless. More then him it was difficult to see my mother in that situation. To survive with a bed – ridden person with transferable disease when she herself suffering from chronic diseases and vulnerable. I truly felt very low that time in my life. I saw my mother kept trying. She maximized her effort, going out of her limitations. She breached her comfort zone and went beyond her limitations.
This was the time in my life when I needed to keep patience. Had to be positive that everything will improve. WE needed to be strong. We should keep believing in our self and our capabilities. In such situation in life we need to show extreme desire to live.
I learned here that when you feel helpless, 1st thing that you need to remember is that this situation is not permanent. It is temporary and it will change. One should always remember this and keep positive mindset. You need to try hard to improve the situation even when it seems that your efforts are making no difference. You need to think beyond your current situations. Make short-term and long-term goals to beat the severity of situations. Keep yourself motivated and inspired.
Worst situation is not permanent, things will start improving after some time and boost your courage and hope. A day will come when you will find yourself out of such situation. Every situation can be solved, even from the lowest place in the world.
Feeling low and negative can be an outcome of a situation when one must have felt unsatisfied with life for own reasons. It might be a lack of relationship with a partner, or problems at home or being not happy with current job. To be honest, it doesn’t matter on level of taking away life.
Our lives are very short, sometimes very exhausting, it is frustrating to feel like you live at the wrong place and the wrong time, like nothing in the world can make it feel better.
I felt it too…
I started to do some meditation, it gave me a good perspective to look outside of my negative feelings and at times ego. I started with gym and exercising – sports because when the body feels good the soul goes with it automatically.
The most important thing I did is creating an alternative world of my own, inside my head, that no one can take away from me, where no one judges me, where there are no boundaries. It made my dreams possible, made me feel close then ever. I started writing my journal. I had something to look up to, something to dream about, a passion that can make me awake all night just of the excitement of doing it to the next morning.
‘Love yourself, everyone is unique and if you don’t think that about yourself then you don’t see yourself for who you really are’!
‘Change is constant.’
Attempting for that change is a matter of choice in some thing being. The journey of self-discovery begins with acceptance.
‘‘Everyone wants to think out the box, but no one dares to stand apart from crowd.’’
Believe in time. It has power one could ever imagine!
Refer the above link! Not just a magazine but feed for soul! Never cease to inspire new things on various topics.
Enlightenment is an aspect of our potential. We live in an expansive universe and everything is energy. We are energy and have an expansive potential. Enlightenment is our natural state of being, AND a human choice. It is the power of our own belief that keeps us either in limitation or frees us to live the truth. Earth is a school and we are here to learn how to realize who and what we truly are.
You cannot be trained to grow from a baby into an adult. The body needn’t be trained, the mind naturally develops and the emotions as well. Well, of course we must learn behaviour and so on. What I mean is that it is a natural progression to do so. What is our inherent blueprint is set into motion and the intelligence within us is navigated to that fulfilment.
What control we do have however, is that of choosing what we perceive as truth from illusion. We have the choice of what information is acceptable to our idea of reality. It is this information we choose that determines how quickly or how slowly we continue our natural growth. We have the choice to be our own person, claim self-authority, and be a leader of our life, not a follower of others. The sooner we learn that others don’t have the answers for us, the sooner we will develop the courage to set out upon our own path to awakening.
Because we are beings with a sentient sense of self, with will and imagination. we have the dignity of choice. We have tremendous potential. We must choose that potential and give up limitation, stagnant concepts of being, and negativity. We must learn about the power of the mind to co-create our reality. We must keep an open mind and heart to embrace our deeper potential. We cannot be more influenced by what others say in their lives than by what our heart tells us in our own lives.
We can train our own mind to have healthy patterns of self-respect, self-worth, and a positive outlook in life. There are many things we can do to further our awakening into a more expansive sense of self.
We are all given a great prize. That prize is fully developed, fully awakened and fully intact right here and now. It belongs to each of us, but we must find our way to it. That is our challenge. It has no need to prove itself to us. WE have the challenge to understand a being within so great, that it can find it.
Experiences in life are our teachers. No time is wasted or lost. We learn something at every moment. We know how to break out of our spell of limitation. We must develop belief in ourselves to begin. That is how we feed the inner hero. Give this hero more and more food and nourishment of belief and passion.
It is in the beginning to seek answers within that we quicken our progress. Within is the doorway to our prize. It is a big, gorgeous, pure gold frequency of light. It is forever open. It was open when you were born, before you were born and all the days of your life. Ours is a destiny of realizing our immense potential via human choice. This is the great gift our humanity lays at our feet.
Thinking about ”light” the things that normally cross our mind are Sun, Moon, Stars, Chandelier, Lamps, Candles and so much more…
Talking about light in our life other way round, takes us into deep meditation. Light that has enlightened our soul. The light that can make us feel light heartened and carefree. Gives us positivity and fill us up with energies.
Everyone should search for the light that has enlightened their souls! At the time of distress am sure everyone must had that someone! Isn’t it? Take a sit back and think about it and be thankful. It can be your spiritual connection with God making it more stronger. A friend in whom you can confide. Your sibling as your best strength. Parents most of the time. Or can be someone special who enter your life, right at that time, to hold you and get you out of the tsunami saving your life!
I don’t want to be the one who don’t value a thing unless I don’t have it. I want to value even the tiniest blessing in my life before it’s too late. Live, love and smile to enjoy every moment of life. As every moment that passed can be a great opportunity. Always ‘Thank’ someone who is your light in calamity as you might be the only one to do it.
Today I want to take this opportunity to thank such ‘LIGHTS’ of my life who have been my navigator to help me proceed with my life turning it successful one!
Pairs! I was thinking loud by repeating the word pairs in my mind and all of sudden my slothful daughter from the couch in front of me – thanks to quarantine, all of sudden screamed ‘Mamma do you know how many pairs we have in our living room’?
Raising head from my laptop with surprise I asked her What? She completely bored in afternoon got up and started explaining me in the most confident manner like – have conquered the highest peak of Mount Everest in replying me back. See Mamma we have
With this now she started joking around after some serious talk that also we have two doors, two windows, two chairs and much more…. Innocently, she has touched the topic with an essence to think over for all of us. I had no choice left but to agree with her. We both then laughed our heart out! She filled me up with pride about her observations skills. Staying more then a decade in the same house, I never thought this way and today when I was wanting an write-up on Pairs she not only saved me but gave me my article!
But this definitely left me with deep thinking about how important Pairs are! Was this a co incidence or mistakenly co incidence happened with me! Is this indicating me further to think of for my personality, that how important it is to have a pair – a Soulmate! Here by partner I don’t only mean married couples! No! It could be anything or any relation. Friends, sibblings, couples parents and so much more! Many a times we are in pair with someone for emotional ground and other for spiritual.
On border scale in reality aren’t we all pair up with something or other in our lives. Emotionally, spiritually and in many other ways we depend on an partner! To make us feel complete, confident, reason to be happy, look forward to and much more…
The word “Life” is as deep as it gets. Life is a tough place to tackle and conquering all the battles by your own is a big challenge. Given that we are human, it follows that “doing life” is made easier if it is “Shared” & ”Paired”.
We expect life to be a continuous journey towards perfection when in fact life is full of hoops, jumps and randomness. Things don’t always go the way we want it to. Random events occur frequently in our lives and is in our best interest to become aware of how random life really is.
I stopped blaming other people for being the cause of my unhappiness.
It isn’t easy to stop and it sure requires a lot of honesty and courage to do so.
It is always easier to blame someone else to throw away some responsibility but, in order to grow, you have to accept the consequences of your acts.
You have to be determinate and perseverant to fix your flaws but, when you do succeed – you and only you are the source of your triumph – and at this moment, you can be infinitely proud of yourself.
By changing this habit, you will have the feeling that you can change everything in your life – as long as it is something that you can actually control.
Expecting. I quit it.
Expectations are nice to have. But some expectations are dangerous like cancer.
Living with guilt and regret.
I stopped feeling guilty about the past.
Having guilt is like having a 100 pound weight on your back holding you down. You are not able to move. You feel like you are walking through mud up to your knees.
I am not even close to being perfect, so I have done things in the past that I am not proud of. For years I was filled with guilt and shame because of my decisions.
I didn’t make mistakes, I made conscious decisions even though they were the wrong decisions. Too many people misuse the word mistake to pass the blame to others and not take responsibility.
I am a big believer in personal development so I work constantly on becoming the best version of myself. I read and listen to books to improve my mindset regularly.
This transformed my whole life.
This way we can then learn how to prepare for these events and realize that eventually, maybe, hopefully; life will balance itself out again while learning a few things about yourself along the way.
Published with: Times of India – Reader’s Blog
Hands – brings lot of emotions as well as confidence, when I think about them. Today I am holding a pen, able to share my thoughts, credit goes to my hands. My hands are helping me to create something beautiful.
Hands authenticate our destiny by our signature or thumb impressions.
Many a times in my life I have been fortunate enough to give hope, encouragement or gentle touch/pat whenever required. Expressing my love, joy and happiness by embracing, hugging and much more, and receiving back in return was possible only through hands. I remember the ‘Special Hands’ in my life, who have helped me in distress by pulling me out from pit and holding on me!
Today, I take this opportunity to thanks to the hands that were there to hold us during toddler days.
Through ”Hands” by touching someone gently can convey so many things:
So much can be done through simple touch with hands!
Its a blessing to have someone in life who loves you dearly and can go out of the way to express it and make you feel special. Now when it comes to cooking, I love getting pampered by getting a platter ready for myself and being served. By this I clearly state that ‘YES’ am not a cooking fan. I do it, out of compulsion yet it always turns out to be good – now can say by grace of GOD or hard luck!
Ability to quickly make something with desire by multitasking and stirring of left over and available resource is the secret ingredient of a delicious recipe . This is a talent which comes from experience.
Yes we have many signature dishes. Most of them from families and few we discovered :-). On NEW YEAR this year, my ‘HUSBAND’ had made a ‘DESI PIZZA’ precisely home made chappati for me. Started this year on good note with lots of good wishes, positivity and happiness. Coming back to his cooking. Yes he is a foodie person and loves to cook and eat! I love Pizza’s and sandwiches made by him.
I have witnessed life on the streets watching from my balcony, that have completely gone quite now due to Covid19. ‘Stay Home, Stay Safe’ is the motto going on across the globe. Everyone have started participating in this actively now, understanding the seriousness of the present condition.
I recall the days, when we have spend time here. Family talking a walk. My daughter cycling with her friends. We family friends gathering and chit chatting with playing few games. A group of ladies sitting and chatting with munching’s. Children playing football and badminton. Street full of life and now craving for life!
I pray this calamity comes to an END and we get our life – our routines back!
Memories can make their way in our life, in present through many ways. Am Sure songs are one such mediator out of many which makes us travel through time. Music have always been special in my life connecting me with my soul.
Difficult task which song to pick and which to leave! But I will like to share two of my most favourite songs here:
1. My heart will go on… Movie Titanic. Artist by Celine Dion.
It was my during my college days when this movie and song was released and had become the sensation in that era, I still remember it clearly! Takes me back in my youth. Though I believe age is just a number and we will always be young by heart.
2. Stand by me… Album Stand by me. Artist: Skylar Grey
This used to be my Workout Song in Gym while doing Zumba. Lot of promises and memories attached! Hard Lesson learned. In the end its only you, yourself for yourself. Bitter truth of life. Learn to be independent and don’t get attached.
The most memorable trip I had was going to Himalayas for 21-day basic mountaineering course at Nehru Institute of Mountaineering way back in 1996. This trip wouldn’t have been possible without my elder sister – my lifeline being on my side. All credits go to her.
During the course we did river rafting, mountain climbing, hiking, camping with various other activities like cooking with limited resources. To date I am so fascinated with that trip that I feel like I just have come from it last week, though it’s been 22 years now. Memories are so engraved in mind and heart. That was my first trip without my parents or relatives.
I made so many friends from different places of India later who all became my pen friends. Even today, when I close my eyes, I can feel the cool breeze of mountains. The melodious sound of river flowing. Various waterfalls. Sunrises and sunsets that are completely different in Himalayan mountain ranges. What more could one ask.
My secret wish is to go on a hiking and mountaineering course with my 10-year old daughter someday.
Like a test Match – Days are Passing.
The Name of the test match is 20-20
Click on the above link to read full article in ‘cafes and cities Magazine’.
Q. Have you ever presented a ‘Fake’ compliment back in response to someone complimenting you?
If we start flattering on a positive note, than sometimes, false flattery can make others happy. Many a times, people give fake response while receiving a compliment for not to sound rude. Compliments may be fake but the love or efforts of person who gave wouldn’t be. It’s more important to make someone feel good about themselves and that could be more genuine reason for giving compliments.
World today needs more kindness than truth. If you know someone who is having a tough day and struggling, I don't see any harm in giving compliments.
World today needs more of kindness then truth. If you know someone who is having a hard day and struggling, I don’t see any harm in giving compliments. I would do that whole day to make someone feel good. People these days are more prone to social media to run away from reality, seeking happiness on social media platform to make themselves feel better. So, if a fake compliment can make someone happier, for a little while also, why not! People crave for more ‘likes’ on social media platform like Facebook and Instagram. They thrive and believe on this count though must have not met them personally! They think they are judged based on the comments and likes with the photo and stories they put up.
But at the same time, I feel being fake can also be manipulative. In business, and especially building networks, should always lead with values and truth. Because with fake flattering, false value are delivered, basically being manipulated and it always gets catches. Any long-term relationship cannot be built on playing fake I feel. Why to create a bad impression for our self. Highly not recommended. It is very important to cultivate the quality of being natural.
Fake compliments at times are given to boss or in working environment at a lighter note to build relationship. There is nothing wrong in it. Till it is safe and not harming anyone’s sentiments and emotions.
People at times suffer from self-love, so a chief cure for it is the practice of love for others and can this can be done through positive flattering.
We get confused whether to stay real at times or do flattery. Flattery might give the other person a sense of inferiority complex. But by talking to the other person if you can eliminate the cause and give some happiness with confidence, then why not! Go for it.
It has been a trend followed by almost everyone to talk about ‘Women’ on women’s day and write beautiful poems, articles, anecdotes, stories, thoughts and views. But why to limit this for one particular day?
I didn’t take this opportunity to write anything as I was busy reading what others have written and enjoying it.
By the end of the day I was asked about my write-up by a good friend on which another friend shared a beautiful article stating I have one! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Praising the received one, still the question on me was live ‘where is Lamiya’s Article’? Hasn’t she written anything? I was elated by the simple fact that my write-up was being awaited!
Now this really caught me! Having ‘ocean of thoughts’ inside me I should pen down. Not just for a day for women but entirely. This erupted up my thinking by concluding ‘Never assume that people won’t notice you. Every minor thing you do will be noticed by someone. That’s where assumptions and opinions are formed. So always be careful of everything you do.’
Coming back to International Women’s Day, lot is said and heard. It’s been proven now across the globe the success of women through their own hard work and determination. Nation all over the world are making sustainable efforts to achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls, to fulfil their commitments. Women’s have started playing an important role as key partners in building the future. Every single woman has a choice to live life on her own terms and conditions. Women need more education and awareness to have faith and unleash the power within.
When you as women are in a position of strength or influence, use it to better someone’s life. Educate people, spread the knowledge. Everything is possible because we, as humans, are gifted with a beautiful heart and sensible brain to make things happen. Women are gifted with multi-tasking capabilities with no boundaries to succeed.
Things have improved a lot in couple of decades. Previously, people were driven by ideologies, not facts. Women were not empowered, but now, they are considered for their talents and achievements.
The best way to develop the confidence and expertise to face challenges is ‘Believe in yourself, your dreams, mastering your skills, working hard, executing your plans and achieving your goals, this are the best ways to develop your confidence and expertise to face challenges.’
‘Believe in yourself and own your success’’.
There are women who inspires us, care for us, make our lives better, tolerate us and love us no matter what. Let’s celebrate them and not just this random date or day but for every day.
‘‘Celebrate them not just on Women Day but whenever possible.’’
A lot us don’t tend to make ourselves feel better whenever we go through something. we always place our happiness and our strength in other people and then end up getting hurt when the person is not available or just doesn’t care enough.And when this happens, we fall into a deep void of darkness and struggle on how to climb that mountain of fears and self-doubt.
This explanation after the reading the book as an review has caught my attention and made placed in my heart!
The description couldn’t have been better for the book then narrating this that ‘The contents start with the topic of ‘Happiness’ and Ends with her views on ‘Technology’. Throughout the book, she stands with a side of kindness and love and how it can change our lives even if we don’t believe it. From making time for ourselves in this monotonous world to needing equality between men and women in this world, she perfectly stood to her point of helping others understand and how our mentality about a situation can help resolve the problems that we are facing.
The author ends the book by saying that every one of us is filled with emotions and if the book is enjoyed even by one person, her job here is done.And I would like to let the author know that I enjoyed and admired this book very much while I was reading and even after I finished reading it.
Thank you once again ‘Café and Cities Magazine for your generosity of reading the book and publishing the reviews. And my thanks here would be incomplete without thanking Ashbiha Fathima. Glad to have you as my satisfied reader.
NE8x® I Author of the Year Nominee
ONLINE LITERATURE FEST 2020
Recognising Author Lamiya Siraj for her esteemed book: ‘ One step ahead ‘
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
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create I innovate I inspire
Lamiya by profession is an Author, Freelance Writer, Blogger, Ex Banker.She grew up in Ahmedabad an later got married and settled in Baroda for 3 years and then Abu Dhabi, UAE
ABOUT THE BOOK:
One step ahead
This book is a collection of various articles and work on non-fiction based on some real life experiences.Subject like Happiness, Hobbies, Challenges, Perfection, Relationships and Technology are covered in this book.Personally, we are full of emotions and sentiments.Knowledge is everywhere and can be enhanced more with experience.We can overcome all
negativity and achieve everything through love, friendship, acceptance and hope.Destiny can be made and changed!
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This year on my birthday I have reached a milestone number. As people say – life starts with this number. Few express it as half life already lived! Before few years I had seen a wallpaper somewhere stating, ‘Naughty at 40’. Now today this has hit me and left me thinking. Something deep inside me tells me I should celebrate! Celebrate all the days now leading to the birthday and the days after that.
Remembering birthdays when I was growing up were special. I still remember my mother how lovingly and still today takes the photo out of my 1st birthday and shares the memories for the day. Photo yes before four decades use to be a luxury. My memory attached for my birthday is the dairy milk chocolate I used to get 1st thing in the morning. How excited I use to get right before my birthday approaching waiting for it. That use to be the feast for me.
With passing years, as I grew up, I remember in kinder garden my mother had dressed me like a princess, making me wear a ‘pink lenga’ and ‘dupatta’. I even had got privilege to distribute toffees to all my classmates. That day I truly felt like a princess.
When I was a teenager, what birthdays meant for me was staring at greeting cards. Receiving cards and letters with lots of poetic words and lovely messages in it. Wearing a new dress, flaunting in between families and friends for the whole day along with my favourite food made by my mother especially for me was worth waiting for. I laugh now remembering how I used to count my treasured greeting cards comparing with present year to know whether I have received more then the previous year or not! These cards had something fascinating about them. My heart use to get very elated while reading them and flipping it repeatedly.
Time flew, and with adulthood came lots of responsibilities and complications. I agree I was too busy at times to celebrate. And before I could realise, I was busy planning and celebrating birthdays of spouse and extended family members. Then came motherhood, which simply meant birthday celebrations for my little one and no more celebrations for myself. I remember as a new mother, all I wanted as a gift was a good night’s sleep. Nothing else mattered to me.
As my baby started to grow as a little champ, again birthdays began to shape into surprise gifts. Prior to my birthday whole week, she did all messy things with paints and colours trying to make a surprise card managing to hide it from me. She succeeded in getting life back in me. Last year all my bed side was covered with hand made lovely cards and messages with tag lines, when I opened my eyes on my birthday. She must have shared the excitement with her friends in class and they joined hand with her sharing the joy for her mamma’s birthday!
Today something inside me urges to pause. Since last few years I was ungrateful and was stubborn for not celebrating my birthday due to some unrealistic and unreasonable reasons. Today its been more than four decades, since I added a number in the population on this planet earth. Yes, I have laughed, cried, torment over numerous things. I agree I don’t like many episodes that have occurred in my life. But yes, as we know nobody’s life is perfect and I have given a major time of my life to understand this simple truth of my life.
With my life’s experience now, I understand the value of time in this world. Life is a gift. God is great! We are blessed with miracles all around us in the form of sea, rivers, nature, mountains, trees, sunrise, sunsets, rains, flowers, birds and much more. I am grateful for all those times, when I have been saved from unpleasant incidents in my life. I appreciate my presence on this earth. Am sure there is a meaning of me being on this earth and alive.
I may not know how many more years I would be blessed to see this miracle of almighty, but for now I want to cheer for all the good and bad times I have had so far.
There’s one thing I am pretty sure now when it comes to my perception of myself, is I am unique. Now by this belief, I will find my true fulfilment and happiness. Fostering a good, healthy sense of self-acceptance is an essential basis for a happy life.
– Holding onto a grudge: Slow poisoning.
Living a healthy life starts with a healthy mind. It’s not easy to control our minds, especially when we are hurt, or someone has wronged us. When we try to forget something or someone, being upset is natural. People tell you to divert your mind and your thoughts, but that is easier said than done.
Get yourself busy, go for a walk, read a book, listen to music, watch a movie or go to a friend or someone whom you trust and talk to them about what you are feeling. But in reality, when mind is angry, and our heart is hurt, we will not be at peace. And, nothing will work. Different individuals have different ways of dealing with themselves. My way may not be the way for others and so is vice-a-versa. If you think there’s something wrong, go to a professional.
The way I deal with my feelings when I am feeling down is to play with my daughter. I find comfort in my little angle by playing and talking to her. I get assured that happiness lies in moments and not unmaterialistic things. But if matter is serious, I confide with someone whom I trust.
Hot water bath and soothing music also helps me to reduce my anxiety. Last but not the least I have a habit to ‘pen it down’. By doing so the negativity is out from my system and once done so, I tear it off and throw it to garbage.
There are various ways to deal with this situation and for grudges not to make a permanent home in us. If two people are mature, then they should resolve an argument by talking it out with each other. They should meet each other, speak clearly about the issue and try to get it resolved.
Since relationship is important then negative emotions and grudges, which is holding you and can weigh you down, compiling into a bigger issue, leading further to bitterness, destruction, anger or even depression. Because if not done this way. Then negative effects are seen more on the person holding the grudges, then for the one whom you hold. This can only cause high level of stress and self-destruction.
Why should we self-invite the health issues for ourselves. Try to get it fixed. If can’t fixed, let it go. Holding on to a grudge hurts. A grudge makes you a prisoner in your own virtual prison cell. Break free and go enjoy life.
Holding a grudge against someone can hardly hurt them. Even if it does, the effect is much on you than them. People who hold grudges get angry and fight a battle inside. Every little thing infuriates them because their heart is not free.
There’s nothing wrong with getting offended, but one should not make the mistake of taking things too far. Hold if for one more minute or simply walk away from the scene. Learn from it and don’t let yourself become victim of it again. You must understand and accept the fact that in this world you’ll always be hurt by people. Grudges stops your progress in life. Forgive even if the other person is not ready to make up. God would take over and touch their heart for your sake.
Friendship is a relationship where a person has the freedom to choose another person they enjoy spending time with. Most of the time, it’s our heart finding peace and comfort with this person, or with these people. Friendship is the home for every wandering soul which is lost.
When you are friend with a person, you can tell them everything without the fear of being judged. Friendship can be cultivated with time and understanding. Some friendships are strong and can withstand the test of time and roll like a dice when life throws them a curveball. Good friends, will give the space you want, when you need it and will love you more when you are broken or lack direction.
‘‘When you meet someone and become friends, still not very close but are good friends, your heart starts feeling happy, contemplate and at peace’’ – means you have found the greatest blessing of universe in the form of ‘friendship’ for yourself.
We love to be surrounded by friends who shower their unconditional love, affection and admiration. No matter how independent, bold, empowered or economically secure we may be, deep in our hearts, we all seek to bond with other people. We all seek that ‘anchor’ in our lives. Relationship with our friends make us strong, grow, enriched, evolve and make us happy.
In friendship you don’t have high hopes and expectations like for that matter in any other relationships. It’s when we expect more from others than what we expect from ourselves, our relationships are not going to be nearly as enduring as we might hope.
No one can make promises to bring perfection to a relationship, we need to be willing to accept and forgive people for their mistakes. It’s equally important to acknowledge when we make mistakes, so that in friendship it’s easier for a friend to forgive and move forward, and vice-a-versa.
It is also important to respect other people’s boundaries as well as their stories. Some people are difficult to get close to and take time to open up. Don’t push them away.
Good friends are able to acknowledge that everyone is human, and don’t judge you for your choices. If you can’t respect your friend’s choices or decisions, which can be different from what you feel is ‘best’, then try to explain and sort it out, else you need to exit from the relationship. It’s not necessary or compulsory for friend’s to ‘like’ or ‘approve’ their friend’s choices, but good friend accept their friend’s choices no matter what. Friendship is the most difficult relationship to maintain.
Maintaining the dignity of friendship in its purest and devoted form is not everyone’s cup of tea. I truly admire those who are actually able to keep their friendship till the end of their lives, moreover, in its real form without doing manipulation with name or relation to keep it safe.
I wouldn’t have been able to survive if I had NO ONE to confide in. It’s a feeling of stability – to know that in trouble, I have someone to fall back on, someone who understands.
Friendship is a two-way street and requires giving and receiving. Many a times you are friend with someone for years and decades but don’t find that comfort, understanding and peace. On the other hand it may happen that you just became friend with someone, starting to know a stranger, still feels that’s it’s a lifetime friendship – like you have been knowing each other forever. And then such new friendship goes year long, leaving a mark to all – to understand the depth of lifetime friendship.
Talking to strangers can make you happy.
Our very lives depend on the ethics of strangers, and most of us are always strangers to other people.
– Bill Moyers
Have we become strangers in these world of technology and gadgets? But don’t we get ample of time to be on-line and stay connected with the virtual world through internet? Does that mean we have no time for the real world?
When was the last time we observed ourselves? When was the last time you smiled at a stranger or received a smile in return? I am sure this is a simple question yet difficult one to answer as most of the time, we have our heads bow down, glued to our mobile screens.
I still remember when we were young, our parents would tell us ‘Don’t talk to strangers’! And that worked well for us. We were young, our minds were young, which means we were not old enough to be discerning. We were not able to decide if a stranger was good or bad. But as we grew, the situation changes. We are not able to comprehend what is good and bad.
The importance, rather the comfort of the human touch seems to vanishing day by day. People have, in fact, started to feel safe by not connecting with the real world. Instead, they feel safe and secure being away from all the unnecessary fuss and emotional distractions. But have we felt the need to talk to strangers? Haven’t we thought about the benefits we can get out of talking to strangers?
Anything is possible in life. A stranger you meet can become your lifeline with the passing years. In the same vein, the person most close to you can become a stranger in a matter of seconds. Life has become unpredictable. Surprisingly, you might meet someone again on the crossroad of life and you might again continue the beautiful journey of your life together. The never-ending road of life will take you towards your destination of happiness, and fill you up with all confidence and courage required to face any adversities and difficulties.
It’s time we changed our attitude towards strangers. Yes, we live in dangerous times, but not all strangers we meet are dangerous. We need to be suspicious, but we should also be trusting. The whole world is not our enemy.
Let’s start by changing ourselves. Each individual has the capability to connect with people, allowing us the human experiences which are enriching experiences. Right from the morning we get innumerable chances to meet and greet strangers. It could be a taxi driver, a sales person at a mall, fellow passengers at airports, lounges, railway stations and the bus stand. Interaction depends on people’s personalities. If you are an introvert, it might be difficult to talk to strangers. At the same time, if the other person is an extrovert, communications becomes quicker. Such communications are also a great way to socialise and to build networks. It is also interesting to see the world through the eyes of another person.
The world out there is for us to explore. So, try to see it through a different perspective. Talking to strangers and discussing various topics helps boost our confidence and makes us feel self-motivated. It also helps improve our communication skills. Yes, the world is full of strangers and that’s what makes it so interesting.
As a seven – year old, it felt strange to be ignored by his own father, even though he had high fever and had met with a domestic accident. His mother had gone out of work, leaving him home to be cared by his father. Was it that he was an unexpected child due to which he was subjected to such bitterness? Or was it because his father was married to a well-educated women, himself being uneducated. Discrepancy, which is still prevalent in many areas of Indian society, is best exemplified by his own family, house and life.
That day, as father was busy doing his not-so-important stuff in house, he went and was pulling his pants for attention, when the father pushed him back in anger and that’s when he fall down and hit the sharp corner of bed. The right side of his forehead along with ear felt spasms of agony as it hit the sharp edge of bed.
He felt tears of pain and anger roll down his innocent cheeks. His father looked back to see what happened and felt further irritated, just then his mother returned home to face his wrath. Yet again she was accused of being highly educated and leaving the house, for work and livelihood, blamed as ‘good-for-nothing’. Domestic violence was everyday business that he was forced to witness.
In spite of all this, he would see his mother cook meal for his father and whole family. Do chores without complaining. Get new clothes for him. And did everything, shouldered all responsibilities as his mother was the sole breadwinner of the family. But over the years, his mother too accumulated some amount of bitterness within her which she vented through her love for ‘shayaris’ and poetry. He also started imagining all fathers as shrews!
As the years passed, his father due to his prolong disease, became bed-ridden, he needed love and care. He wondered, ‘‘will ‘karma’ play its role?’’ But all he saw was his mother taking utmost care of his father. How could she? Was it because of her upbringing and society demands? Or out of respect for the relationship, she was into since last 40 years? He wasn’t convinced, after all, he was just entering the roller-coaster ride of his life.
Then came a day when he was undergoing training for his new job and had to put together a project about the life of elderly people living in an old-age home. The very topic made him sick to the stomach. He started to wonder why his own father couldn’t be sent to a home like this as he himself had demanded it so many times. The debate during the training about looking after the elderly in families made him argue with his colleagues to the point of being rude. All present there along with supervisors were surprised to see that he harboured so much anger within him.
He along with his colleagues finally decided and reached the old-age home, an old building with some yellowish brown shuttered windows. He sat stubbornly on a bench in the garden, hell-bent on not doing anything constructive. That’s when he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder. He looked up and saw an old-man, in a plain white kurta, beaming at him. His name was ‘Mr Roger’, who invited him to his room and shared a packet of biscuits over a hot cup of ginger tea that he made.
Mr. Roger’s maturity with kindness attracted him and he gushed about his father. The old man assured him that all fatherly figures aren’t the same and probably his father had reasons for such ill-filled actions. After that day, till training continued, he went back to visit Mr Roger several times. Through his conversations with Mr Roger, the old man provided him with the understanding and closure that he needed to forgive his father and let go his anger.
Thereon he would sit beside his ill father, take his bony hands in his and speak to him. He would tell him how he yearned for him to talk or response or smile. He doesn’t know if he ever heard him. But a while later he passed away and with him passed his anger-ridden self!
And he found solace in forgiving!
I learnt what patience means when I got to know her. She taught me how one can be devoted and live life to the fullest. A very humble person and an ordinary woman for world, but for me she is my first friend after my marriage. I met her some more than 15 years ago. I was newly married and had shifted from the metropolitan city Ahmedabad to Baroda. It was a new experience of living in a new city amidst complete strangers, including my husband and in-laws.
I took up a job in the mortgage department with a multinational bank wherein I had to deal with numerous clients, builders and co-ordinate with lawyers and technicians. She, at that time, was working as customer care executive with one such renowned builder. We had been talking regularly regarding documents for a couple of months. Finally, after much delay, our meeting was fixed one day. By that time I knew her by her name and her melodious voice, all because of our telephonic conversations.
One afternoon during peak summers, I was waiting for her at her office. When she walked towards me, I saw her for the very first time and was completely amazed to see her ‘aura’. She was indeed as beautiful as her name ‘Manisha’! She was much polite and listened to all the queries patiently and helped resolve them.
Though she is an introvert by nature, but we gradually became friends. As time went and I started knowing her, I came to know that she is elder to me by age and experience. She lived in a vast joint family with her parents and siblings.
She had dreams like any other Indian girl and wanted to pursue them. But I guess God had other plans for her. With so much struggle and compromise in her personal as well as professional life, I have seen her shattered and broken but never once did I see her complaining or giving up. I felt there’s a turmoil inside her but she maintained her calm and composure. No one, including the people who lived with her, was aware of her struggle. She lost her job a couple of times but her spirit always stayed high.
She became my first mentor after my marriage. At that time mobile phones were luxury and not affordable and there were no features like free incoming and outgoing messages, Internet and WhatsApp. We use to communicate through letters and STD calls. She became my light in darkness. She is the one always there for her family and friends but I hardly know anyone solely there for her!
It was one fine morning in 2004, I had just reached office and got a call on my landline. The conversation left me in a shock and before I could gather my sense, the receiver had dropped from my hands. The call was from Manisha’s friend who said she had met with an accident and was admitted to hospital. After collecting the address of the hospital, I rushed to be near Manisha. When I entered her room, I was shocked and shattered to see her condition. She was badly injured and had multiple fractures in her hand and leg. There were bandages all over, especially on her head. Her face and eyes were completely swollen.
I came to know she met with an accident previous night and was rushed to hospital with an emergency ward of the hospital. The doctors had already performed the operation to save her life as she had suffered a major injury in head.
It’s the worst experience of life to see the person you love, adore and respect, lying in the bed of hospital with bandages all over her body. Everyone from her family were around her. I started praying for her speedy recovery and waited impatiently for her to open her eyes. It was the toughest time of my life. Doctors had told she will be admitted for around 15 days followed by complete bed rest for two months.
Finally she opened her eyes by mid-afternoon and the first thing she did was smiled and thank God for saving her life. I was amazed to see her this gesture. She gave us the courage to fight with the situation assuring us that this time will pass soon and everything will be alright. She had the strongest will power and that day I learned the lesson from her that no matter what, never give up with your confidence, will-power and determination. Face everything in life with positivity and smile and surely you will conquer everything. It took few months for her to recover completely and few years for her scars to vanish.
But as said, life goes on. I left India, in 2006. And despite the vast geographical distance between us, our friendship grew stronger with each passing year. With her, I have the best memories of my life – the fights and debates, the laughter and celebrations, our shopping sprees and movie sessions. Even today our morning starts by giving each other missed calls, which means ‘Good Morning’. It’s been 14 years now since we started this ritual of our friendship, growing stronger with each passing day.
Thanks to advance technology and gadgets now, which are helping us to stay in touch despite miles apart. Looking forward for the next visit to meet her and hope to celebrate our friendship.
Physical appearance and virtue
People give more importance to physical appearence
Our perception, makes beautiful things look more beautiful!
Beauty according to me can be categorised into ‘Appearance’ & ‘Virtue’.
What a majority of us do is reach a conclusions based on a person’s appearance. As a result virtues are ignored. Only few consider looking deep into a person’s virtue, keeping appearance aside. Cosmetics and make-up bloggers today, play a vital role in defining beauty. Make-up can change the way someone looks. In addition to this, we have various applications now on our mobile phones which highlight and enhance the beauty, making us look flawless.
When I see this today, I keep imagining the women of the past, during 1700s till 1900s. Beauty was not defined by social media post back then.
Today, some women are considered naturally beautiful and rest look beautiful and appealing through various means now available in market, to fit into the so called ‘beauty standards’.
But here, I keep wondering where our perception of beauty is really heading too? Because according to my opinion, ‘‘Perception of quality is affected by opinions, experiences, appearances, recommendations, comparative analysis, usefulness, appeal, utility and many other things which is an individualistic choice’’.
When we see someone pretty on a magazine cover, there can be alterations probably done to make the image look pretty, so I automatically assume that what I see is a prettier version of reality.
I think most people today are aware of the fact that most images we see around are retouched, and don’t represent reality. I personally think that the media nowadays edits too much stuff.
To me it seems like everything that is human, is gone now. They seem unreachable and their ‘beauty’ unachievable, which can harm peoples psyche.
I look up to people that are real and admit to having flaws. This make them so much more human and relatable.
Usually, the rich can appear ‘beautiful’ due to cosmetics and things that they can afford, to fit the society’s perception of beauty.
Rigorous advertisements for staying fit also give people a complex and make them believe that losing weight will help them look beautiful.
But here health has to supersede beauty. It is important to be healthy above anything else.
I believe everyone is beautiful but not everyone sees it. It is truly said that beauty lies in the eyes of beholder. Our perception, makes beautiful things look more beautiful. For me a person is ten times more attractive, not by their looks but by their acts of kindness, love, respect, honesty, and loyalty.
Books! Imagine how vast the world of books is in itself, isn’t it? For many people like me, books are lifeline. The activity of reading books gives immense pleasure and sense of completeness, taking our imagination to next level. Just the thought of finding out how many different kind of books are available in this whole world, in how many different languages, on various topics and subjects fascinate me. A wide variety of knowledge and information is being imparted from all of this books, to all those taking advantage out of them!
The most precious gift in my life are books,
I can open again and again…
The imaginations and creativity of our minds are being strengthened by reading. When we read about unknown places , our mind itself creates the imaginative images in our heads, rather than simply saving images from small screen memory.
“Some books leave us free and some books make us free.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Recently, we a group of ladies had gathered for one such activity for reading and understanding of an ‘auspicious book’. There I met my friend carrying a small bag stuffed with big heavy books. By heavy, I means books of more than 500 pages. ‘What is this Zain’? I asked. ‘‘small bag, big books’’ she replied with a smile.
Yes, I thought to myself thinking. Aren’t our brains like this? The size of our brain is small compared to our body. But think of the knowledge it contains.
The habit of reading books can save us as well as change us in a long way. Reading books can bring about a positive change in us. There are umpteen libraries, but parents and teachers put in an extra effort to make the young ones read, to instill the habit of reading in them. But sadly, the present generation seems to be moving away from books. They are more impressed by technology and in surfing the Net. Reading is almost forgotten.
The pleasure of holding a book, the smell of pages while reading, getting totally engrossed and travelling miles while being seated at home, well words cannot explain that feeling. Newspapers and magazines have become e-versions. Books are stored in devices though I agree in a way it’s good for the environment as papers are saved.
Reading allow us a greater width and depth of experience that we simply cannot have in our own lifes.
But I am sure there are still book lovers out there, who prefer to read and save those books filling their cupboards with varieties of books, and adding to their collections. I have also witnessed people who just love to collect books but hardly open and read them.
“Reading is a discount ticket to everywhere.” – Mary Schmich
Surely, reading has many benefits. It strengthens memory, reduce stress, improves empathy, expands vocabulary, and makes you wiser, smarter and probably more useful. Books introduce you to libraries, to silence, to magic. It changes your subconscious mind. Its bring positivity, productivity and the ability to become better at everything. It can take you to places, through imagination or either for education, conferences or for work. You, can never be alone if you inculcate the habit of reading, because a book can be your companion.
Lastly without any offend to non-readers, as it’s a personal choice, I can say reading help you to ‘embrace your emotional self’ and connect with your inner self.
You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.
– M. Scott Peck
Staying quite by listening attentively to the one talking is crucial because if we keep interrupting, we won’t be able to understand the other person at all. To become a good listener we need patience and practice. A good listener is the key for building a strong relationship with good conversation. A good listener, gets involves completely into the conversation by sharing his valuable time, and paying attention to the people.
We normally have tendency to interrupt. We don’t listen to understand, we listen to reply! We can improve our techniques for having a better communication by listening, paying attention to the speaker. We need to be attentive. In our day to day life, we do conversation with so many people like our family members, friends, relatives, colleagues at work place or offices, strangers out for work, and many more. But mostly we lose our patience, at times ready to answer and loose the track.
The best classic example is our conversation with our children. We as elder’s listen to respond. By becoming judgmental and passing an advice in half way. We make an opinion in the middle of the conversation itself and shoot our comments. Is this the right way? It creates more generation gap. Isn’t it frustrating when we talk and someone interrupts us. How irritated we feel, so it’s the same, two way round.
To become a good listener we need to learn not to be impatient. Also not to be in hurry to give our opinion, rather take time to listen & understand. By enhancing the skills of listening one become more credible, trustworthy, adding value. Be humble while responding back. By doing so, more strong and positive relationships are built. Same time also be very careful of people whose words don’t match their actions. This would save you in long term.
To be an active listener, we must try to go beyond the words and form a rich picture of the other person’s emotions and intentions.
It is important not to be judgemental. Conclusions should not be made in between the conversation. If required try to remember and note it down, and discuss later. Body language is utter most important when you are listening to someone or something. Always maintain a body posture. Pay attention because if you don’t concentrate, you will soon find out that your mind have turned to other ideas or thoughts.
Active listening, like any skill, is developed by practising, not by reading about it. Rather than focusing on right and wrong while listening, open your mind and try to think in terms of creating new. Consider each mind as flower, which goes through its own cycles of growth, budding, bloom and decay. Pause your opinions, debating and absolute knowing for long enough. Be a listener in such a way that it makes valuable and significant contributions that are meaningful. What is essential is that we come together as community and communicate.
Increase your motivation to listen. This is known as the effective framework for active listening. This motivation might be the desire to improve a relationship, follow instructions without wasting time, make someone feel better to make an exchange as clear as possible.
Walk for 30 mins and see the difference for yourself! Good health mentally and physically forever, lifetime.
Walking to a fitter lifestyle
Reder discusses the importance of being healthy
Recently I got myself enrolled for a walking challenge with an intention to achieve serious results about my weight loss and get a healthy habit of walking for long term benefits. Within a week’s time it left me thinking with numerous questions unanswered.
How many of us are living a healthy lifestyle in today’s reality, where things and work are getting easier to be done with the help of advanced technologies and machines. We use elevators and lifts instead of stairs. Washing machine and vacuum have taken away physical work, we use to do before. Cooking has become effortless with mixer grinder, dough and roti makers. Reasons for obesity and other health issues like high blood pressure, diabetes, thyroid and many more are due to less physical exercises and more relaxed life style. Now what we do in gym for an hour with various exercises like weight lifting, body bump, elliptical, treadmill all can be done at home just bringing a little change in our lifestyle maintaining a regime for walking an hour a day. Start using stairs forgetting we have lifts around.
Before two decades, its true we never had gyms in demand. Now the present situation narrates its own story for awareness of fitness and also use of vehicles like bikes, scooters, cars and many more, immensely preferred rather then bicycle or walking.
There are so many events, activities happening these days like yoga, outdoor exercises, fitness challenges, special promotions for walking events, to create awareness for fitness and healthy lifestyle. Our body is our permanent home till we are alive. We should love it, take care of it. Many people participate in such events positively agreed.
As we are living in a competitive world, I wonder do people really participate in such challenges understanding that it’s for our own self and not to win or compete with others. Competitions are healthy no doubt but many a time’s main aim for participation is lost and forgotten. We shouldn’t be doing it for the sake of 1st prize and gifts only. It is basically to learn to adopt the healthy life style. It is to help one form a good habit and routine. Set a target for daily basis and try to accomplish that. Break your own records and not of others for others.
What I witness in the walking challenge was people were in race to defeat one other. The step’s targets before signing off for the day is set in such a way that other person can’t beat it. Daily an unbeatable target is set for all who are participating. Many started to get demotivated thinking this is unachievable and we can’t do it. No one was willing to hold hands and do it as team work inspiring each other to go till finish line or say achieve monthly target. What I saw was all age group had participated. And rather than boosting the elderly person youngster are in different mind-set of competition.
Aspire yourself to become an inspiration for other…
‘Struggling against thoughts is what causes stress’. Walking helps to destress the mind. A healthy walk daily for around 30 to 45 mins can take u a long way filing you up with positivity, making immune system strong, helping build the stamina. Aspire yourself to become an aspiration for others. Leave the competition and do it for yourself and see the change you get with a life time experience.
Recently when i visited Hong Kong, a technologically advanced country, I was overwhelmed and worried. I saw a combination of science and technology being incorporated in one’s daily life. There were fewer human beings being employed and more robots and a great use of Artificial Intelligence.
Technology has been improved and updated on a very vast and wide scale in a small span of time. Progress with improvements in artificial intelligence (AI) is remarkable. I think some science fiction movies are great sources to understand how AI can transform the future and the world. It gives us a small indication of how it will get better in the coming decades.
Technology helps us improve our lives and make things easier. However, there are two sides to everything. Undoubtedly, AI will grow further, but I am sure it will have both a positive and a negative impact on the world. I cannot stop myself from agreeing that yes, while Artificial Intelligence is going to make life easier with all the advanced gadgets, but what about humans beings? Where will we go? Are jobs going to exit? Will they stay secure? Will the ‘human touch’ still be important or will technology take over everything?
Recently when I visited Hong Kong, a technologically advanced country, I was overwhelmed and worried. I saw a combination of science and technology being incorporated in one’s daily life. There were fewer human beings being employed, more robots and machines and a great use of science and artificial intelligence. Every single individual had a device in hand, and had their head bowed all the time. Things are easily available at the fingertips. Language is no longer a problem, in a new place or country, as we have Google Translate and other applications. We have driverless cars, trains, automobiles and much more. This is a proof of how technology is already overtaking the planet.
I still have confidence that Artificial Intelligence, hopefully, cannot replace human beings or overtake their role in the world. It can be used to aid current functioning and be employed for security and defence strategies within and between the countries.
At the same time, if we compare, the last 10 years have been fruitful and a game changer for the planet. Before, people hardly were aware for new aspects in life but now through social media, businesses are also increased and promoted giving fair amount of profits. It gives us an opportunity to create something incredible.
‘‘Love is in the air’’. As February comes, it’s seen all over. No one is ready to be behind in this race. Feels like there’s a healthy competition going on everywhere. Advertisements are endorse on a large scales then be it for renowned airlines, jewellery shops, newspaper, magazines, restaurants, garments, gift shops, gyms or malls. Offers everywhere. Same hoardings with red theme and hearts around. Internet and media are also seen playing a major role to promote all these.
Now this has left me thinking, do we need only one day or a special day in a year to express our love? Will it prove our love and relationship? Will it make it stronger by spending all our time, energy and money on Valentine’s Day? Does all who participate by gifting roses, chocolates and various gifts are able to prove their love, or just do it for the sake of doing it to sustain in society? How many are genuine with their intentions?
According to me, love cannot be bound or expressed on a particular day combined with goodies and a dinner date. Love is a divine feeling. We need to feel and live with it for it. It’s a lifetime commitment, how can one day or a moment be enough for it! If you love someone truly make every day a valentine day, every moment special, why restrict it to just one day! True love is not only gifts and dinner dates. It cannot be materialistic. It’s beyond all this. Keeping the one you love happy is important. Provide security by all means. Respect the person and give equal right to the opinions and weightage to decisions in life.
How can we neglect the other aspect for those who all are single or heart broken and alone? How must they be feeling? I am sure they go into a deep shell on such day. What level of struggle they must be doing fighting themselves hard to pass this day out? Would like to give an advice here to all of them to be ‘’happy’’.
By being happy they can survive and conquer not only this day but their entire life. I know it’s easy said than done! Start believing, happiness starts within ourselves. The day we will learn to love ourselves, we will learn to be happy. Many of us misunderstand life, by thinking and making firms decisions for future. We should not trade our happiness for what we think we need. Materialistic things can never make us happy because they are temporary and limited. Don’t spend money to impress people, when you don’t like it. No doubt we become happy by what we give. But don’t get the two confused!
Let’s be creative towards our freedom and passion. It will surely reveal great rewards. Do not allow precious moments to pass-by full of unnoticed experiences. Don’t let the charm and hype of Valentine’s Day make you feel empty, leaving you hungry. Be happy, because you are the greatest undiscovered adventure of your lifetime.
”Social media users promote ‘meaningless’ content”.
In today’s era everyone wants to be safe. People these days wants a hassle-free life. If we talk about internet, almost everyone is on social media. They have accounts on various platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram and more. Lately all people want to do on social media is make things ‘viral’. There are three categories of users on the internet.
” People are attracted to viral content”.
”People must give attention to ‘worthy’ causes”.
But the question here is how many of us takes things seriously on social media. Should we? Social media is a powerful tool and has the potential to change the world. Many things get promoted online but for some reason, real causes don’t.
People can make an egg go viral but no one has the energy to make other important issues viral.
Why is the same effort not put in for issues like global warming, racism, and other noble causes?
If we can give likes to useless posts, and forward them, we can join hands for deserving issues and charity posts instead.
Let’s not make irrelevant material viral on social media for absolutely no reason. We should join hands to promise to promote what is actually deserving.
Never lose focus
The tempo and excitement of New Year resolutions normally starts to fade away in a few months, many a times completely vanishing. For me, it’s very important to keep myself motivated till I accomplish my resolutions and stick to them till End. Every year teaches me to be more focused towards my goals. Motivation requires attention on regular basis so I have formed a habit to remind my sub conscious mind by training it on daily basis, attaching it with my habit of brushing my teeth first thing in morning. Secondly, I stick a note on the mirror on my dressing table so that I read it daily, and it pushes me towards my targets. I stay firm with my resolution and work towards it on daily basis.
New Year resolutions are made so that we can challenge ourselves. We all work hard to achieve our dreams and make them a success. New Year resolutions give us wings to fly, and the motivation we need to succeed.
When I was a child, I never knew the seriousness of making a resolution for the New Year. We used to make promises and plans but failed to fulfil them, promising to follow through with our resolutions next year. Taking oaths and deciding is one thing, but to work on a goal till it is realised is another. Life taught us that dreams are achievable, and you can become successful only with proper planning and determination.
Initially, when I used to make plans, I wasn’t able to accomplish them. I felt disheartened. Gradually I understood that just having a resolution is not enough, effort needs to be put into achieving it.
For the last few years my dedication is helping me achieve my New Year resolutions. I have transformed my needs according to situations, and I have set realistic goals.
Last year I made a resolution to focus on my health. By the grace of God, and the support of my husband and family, I accomplished it. Second was to start writing again. I always felt I had an ocean of thoughts within me, I was shy with my pieces, but realised that even if my work gave pleasure to one person, my job was done. I recommend people to keep their resolutions simple and live each moment of life.
Do what makes you happy, time is moving and we are growing old.
The basic ingredient for heart to stay healthy is keep it happy. Vacations have always proven to be boon, as they allow us to detach ourselves from our daily life and routine. They help us energise ourselves, just like how we fill a car with petrol so that it can run.
However, living life fully should be something on our agenda every day. Living happiness is for every day and not for a particular day, week or a month in life. Vacations act like a bridge as they take you to your family and loved ones. Nothing is permanent in life. We don’t know how much time we have. Today is promised so we must live it to the fullest.
For me, I try to be happy every day and I do this by doing everything I like. Whether it a gathering with friends, a party at home, movies and more, I try to do them all.
Sometimes, we plan staycation as a family for the weekend so that everyone can relax. I like to take part in my favourite activities like reading by the swimming pool, going to spa, spending time with family and more. Life is a vacation and we should feel alive all the time – wanting to be happy always.
The most special tool to revive one’s holiday spirit is photographs and videos. When you look at your old memories, they bring back a sense of completeness. Souvenirs helps us rewind our holidays and they remind us of how fortunate we are.
The most special tool to revive one’s holiday spirit is photographs and videos. When you look at your old memories, they bring back a sense of completeness. Souvenirs helps us rewind our holidays and they remind us of how fortunate we are. It makes us want to plan our next holiday destination. We sit as a family and make a list of the places we want to go and start shortlisting the destination as soon as possible.
Vacation might only be for couple of weeks, but a lot of effort goes into planning the holiday and making appropriate bookings. Memories made in the present will always be treasured in future. They make you remember the past with a smile. We must remember that with time we will age. We will grow older and our children will grow up too. By that time, these memories will act as souvenirs that we have created for ourselves. We should do what makes us happy always.
Does faking it help you in the long run?
Can ‘faking it’ get you places or get you nowhere?
What you need to know:
Originality is everything. It is important to be yourself and be original. How can one make it by being fake? Honesty and sincerity matters a lot in life. Without this, trust cannot be achieved or maintained. I believe faking has a very short life as now or later truth will come out. All respect and credit earned gets washed away. Name earned through hard work with complete truth of being self stays longer rather than false impression.
Visualising a dream is one thing, but to fake it till you make it is another thing altogether.
”No one can fake things for a longer period of time. Why not have a winning attitude instead.” – Lamiya Siraj
Hiding your true self by acting is wrong. What if you don’t make it?
In many professions like sales, may be such an attitude is applied. However just to sell things, lying about certain elements will only ruin the reputation of company. Since I was in sales, I know this first-hand. But this was always an open debate. Being transparent and authentic is important. It might certainly not be easy, but it’s important.
I don’t mind initially faking a positive attitude to cultivate the habit of being happy, but I have seen people fake a smile to get over negative emotion, just to look like they have control over their emotions. It is important to be original and not fake it in life.