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Interview of Author Lamiya Siraj
Novel: Destined to Heal Within
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Interview of Author Lamiya Siraj
Novel: Destined to Heal Within
Life is unpredictable. Isn’t it? So are we. If we become predictable easily for everyone, what is the excitement left? Why am I narrating all these with you suddenly today? Well, something happened yesterday evening that left me in a thinking mode for a long time.
I was busy reading my stuff, relishing my green tea with lemon. Suddenly a quote, “Every end is a new beginning”, caught my attention, and I was analyzing it when I heard a thud in another room. I asked my daughter to go immediately and check. After a few minutes, she came back smiling, holding a broken wall clock in her tiny hands. Her father asked her to take it away because he was sweeping broken glass pieces off the clock from the floor and didn’t want his daughter to be injured in any way.
Here, she came and opened her folding study table, placing the broken clock on it with the relevant tools screwdrivers to open it up entirely and check its machinery from inside while having a closer look into it.
Seeing her inquisitiveness, I, too, got excited to know what she was up to and gave her a helping hand to open up a few screws. While she was busy arranging the numbers and the hands of the clock, observing her, a question struck me.
“Is it the end of a beginning or the beginning of an end?”
Somehow, my attention was shifted to the clock we had bought a few years ago. It was the end of our favourite wall clock that hung beautifully for a couple of years in front of our eyes, and today suddenly, it was dead. But, same time, my curious and creative daughter has already started her plan to create something new out of its unbroken parts. So, it is a beginning of an end.
Well, many times, we all face such situations in our lives. Different people can have different perspectives for the same. I deprived of the accident that occurred with the clock is that already a ‘New beginning’ is in place for the ‘End’ that happened for it. But others can see it differently. The end begins when one can see the outcome. The decisive moment when one begins to wait is the Beginning of the future. It is the point to which one can trace the end’s roots. It is when the end becomes certain, or at least likely.
In other words, the Beginning of the end is an invention of the human mind working retrospectively. We can only know it after it has happened and had its effects. It is a product of interpretation.
Let’s take a closer look at these from life’s point of view. Significant between the ending and the Beginning is the ‘Now.’
I am writing this in the year of the global pandemic, a year worth remembering. But ten years later, I am sure this year will be remembered as ten years ago.
This isn’t just the end. This marks a New Beginning!
Life is gambling. Especially with what we think and what happens! Sometimes luck is on our side, but other times it might take away our everything, leaving us shattered. The best way to lead life is to do settlement. Planning yes is required. But we should not be harsh on ourselves. It’s difficult to take this journey alone. So, we have different companions in different phases of our lives, guiding us in the right direction. They can be our parents, relatives, friends, life partner, siblings, children, and so on.
But among all of these, who is the best companion for us? It’s us. If we don’t love and trust ourselves, no one else can help us. I agree we cannot lead this life alone. Yes, we do need a partner. But no one can help us until we don’t help and support ourselves.
So, surround yourself with positivity. Think positively, read positive books, see motivational movies. Stay away from destructive things. Instead, help yourself to grow and see the success for yourself.
So, In brief, I would like to sum up by mentioning below points that would help to peak up your interest till you develop an appetite for it:
The first and foremost point that comes to our mind is:
How to start reading a book?
I guess many of you must have come across this thought!!!
This is a bit genuine one…
So as mentioned in the poster above,
There are three sections to a book:-
The first step to reading a book is to find a book that interests you. If you haven’t read any books earlier and the idea of reading a thick book tire you, you can start with short stories (so that you don’t get bored with the ever-extending plot of regular novels).
1. Get yourself your favourite munchies and drink.
2. Open the book.
3. Start reading the words written there till you reach some punctuation mark.
4. If it is a comma(,), take a pause and continue reading.
5. If it is a full stop(.) then, then halt and try analysing what you read.
6. Go on, read the following sentence.
7. If the text is between quotation marks (” “). Imagine a character from some movie speaking it for you inside your head (e.g. It’s always Tony Stark inside my head when I need a pep talk). This might be a little difficult initially, but you’ll get used to it, and it’ll just come by itself later.
8. Replace the voices/ characters for different characters in the book. Don’t read all sentences in the same voice. (No, never).
9. Also, try putting emotions in the sentence you read. If it’s a happy sentence, allow yourself to be satisfied. Feel free to let the sound come alive if there’s action involved.
If you were reading some mystery novel and got tired after a few chapters, go to the end and check out who’s alive and missing. Then, go back to where you left and try figuring out what happened to that person. Alternately, you may skip a few chapters and play connect the dots (figuratively).
Reading books is pretty interesting.
Coming on to the next piece of information,
What does it mean by front pages?
A brief section that lists people who helped the author during the writing process.
You can read acknowledgements if you like, but most people don’t bother.
The foreword talks about what to expect from the book and why it is worth reading.
The preface is written by the author of the book.
It is usually (but not always) shorter than the foreword and is basically an essay that explains how and why the book was written.
The preface can give you some valuable insight if you’re interested in the author’s personal life or creative process.
The introduction is where the author speaks directly to the reader and introduces the book, reviewing its intent and building excitement in the reader about getting to read it.
Introductions are more often found in nonfiction books than fiction books.
Coming on to the next piece of information,
What does it mean by end pages?
No one becomes a reader overnight.
One needs to work on their reading habit. If you want to become a voracious reader or bibliophile, you too have to work on it.
First, start with the genre you like. Or you can also start with short stories in magazines, over the internet.
Enjoy Reading! All the best 🙂
How am I feeling right now?
Have you ever asked this question to yourself? We wait for our loved one to ask us this question whenever we are feeling low or lonely and left out? But at times we are left disappointed as all are busy with their own respective lives and problems solving it for their own self.
So the best way is to love your own company and own self. You will never feel left out. Whenever you feel uneasy about anything and loaded with the negative thoughts – just spare time with your own self. Ask yourself ‘How am I feeling right now?’ Why am I feeling like this? Answers to such questions will definitely lead you to a solution and make you feel better. Do whatever makes you feel better. Maybe they are simple things in life. But if that is giving you peace and makes you happy, why not! Go for it!
Try all that either you have forgotten or you think might not help you, because those are the things that only will or might help you. Like go for a walk, eat your favourite ice-cream or chocolate, call someone whom you are missing at that weak moment or you haven’t called for a long time, watch a movie, listen to music or just go to sleep becoming a lazy bum :)!
At times when you are feeling low, you might ask yourself ‘Why am I living?’ I will be discussing this in my day two journal.
What is making you feel how you feel right now?
Let’s continue… Giving the feed to the brain yes I want you to ask yourself ‘What is making you feel how you feel right now?’ Here I am considering both the facts – like two sides of a coin. You might be feeling happy or you might be feeling sad! So go deep into the process of analysing why this side of your emotions got triggered and what are the sentiments or emotions behind it.
Getting happy is understood and acceptable as not much rocket science needs to be applicable. But the other side definitely needs attention. At the time of being upset you might end up asking the question ‘Why am I living’? Consider this as an important question for yourself and acknowledge it with positivity. Don’t ignore it or sit and crib else you will only be pushed towards the deep valley of negativity leading to stress and depression – causing a disaster.
At this stage you might not find a purpose of living if you think about it. Gradually you will understand and have a motto as well as a mission for the same. If still you don’t get an answer – drill this into your mind that my first purpose of living is ‘LEARNING’! Learning cannot and should not be stopped.
Second is ‘IMPROVING’. Keep on improving yourself to make your life extra beautiful. But again you might end up asking why and what should I improve? So, here the simple logic and answer that you need to keep answering yourself is ‘to have proper future plans and for their improvements’.
The third one is ‘SHARING’. Here, the question you will ask is ‘How do you share and why do share what you have?’ There are ample people in this world who are in adversity. They need your help. If you have the desire and passion to help them out, you must first have enough skills for yourself.
Therefore, first comes ‘LEARNING’, then ‘IMPROVING’ and lastly ‘SHARING’.
So, All in all, to know yourself is one of the main reasons to not let yourself down!
See you at DAY 3 Journal 🙂
If you could change one thing about how you feel right now, what would it be?
Answer this question yourself first in the journal before you scroll down. Note it down. If you want to help yourself and feel energetic/good/relaxed/complete/thankful. 🙂
If you have a BAD DAY this is how you feel, isn't it?
I am sure 99% will be unhappy with something or the other with themselves and start making a list for themselves what they want to change. Try it yourself! A long list would be waiting like ‘I am unhappy with my life, my face, my nose, my skin, my legs, my family, my friends, my job, my career, my marriage, my children, etc etc’…
But have you ever given this a thought that these are all materialistic things. These are not permanent. With age and time everything fades. Why do we think negative only when this question is asked!
I don’t say or debate that you should not feel upset or sad! NO! My point here is yes be real with your emotions but don’t get drowned in them. Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you had in your mind. For every lost opportunity, find solace knowing there is a way out and you definitely can make things alright. Have that solid confidence in yourself.
I can list down here how and what should be done when you are feeling low but I won’t do it till you do what I have mentioned below. As in Day 4, you will be answering yourself once I start the topic. As here we are maintaining a journal for you to help yourself. For preaching unlimited stuff is available in the forms of books, videos, audios, write-ups, messages… So I don’t want to be the one doing the same thing in different a manner.
Now, can you be different from the herd? If not try at least. List down the things you are happy with. Feel the difference then. Be thankful for what you have rather than what you want to change!
See you on Day 4 🙂
Explain one thing that you’re ‘GRATEFUL’ for right now!
Starting the Day with a Positive vibes and a positive note, tell me have you note down the things that were asked in yesterday’s Journal? Well if you have then I am sure you must have slept feeling peaceful. So today we will continue here with the same topic. Now from your list of answers what is that ‘One Thing’ you are most GRATEFUL for right now…
I agree we need to be grateful for everything in our lives then be it materialistic things or not. Being grateful opens the door for more opportunities.
So, exercise done? Then only scroll down! And read my point of view 🙂
Why limit yourself to one particular thing each day?
Did you thought this way before listing down your one thing to grateful for right now?
The goal and focus should be as much gratitude as possible for as many things as you can and as often as possible. Expand your focus broadly enough and it will be easy to find much more than one thing to be grateful for in your day to day life, GUARANTEED!
Here if I have to share my experience I will start with: "I am grateful for a wide range of things everyday!"
Each morning, when I wake up, I am grateful to have the experience of being alive in such a magnificent, awe-inspiring universe.
I am grateful to be surrounded by love and support. I am grateful that I can share my life with people who cherish me and who I cherish. I am grateful to have been born into a society that’s progressive. I am grateful that my parents, particularly my mother, did a bang-up job of raising me and instilled in me a sense of self-efficacy.
I have an amazing life. I like being me, even if some bits of being me are frustrating sometimes. I am grateful for it all.
Have you ever thought of it this way?
I will share an activity that I have been practising for several years. The first thing I do every morning when I get up is to get out my small notebook that I have kept next to my bed and write down three things that I am grateful for that moment. As I am doing these for several years now, I am sure I’ve repeated myself several times, but I try to make something different everyday so that nothing is left out to be grateful from my life and my subconscious mind. I started this practice when I was going through a terrible time, feeling not getting enough of what I deserve and desire. As said it is easy to feel stressed, upset, and depressed when it seems things aren’t right for us! This tip I had read on some blog and decided to try it out. I am glad it worked 🙂
There are still plenty of stressors and issues in my life that I am working to remedy. But what changed as a direct result of this practice is my attitude and outlook. So I can share this today that even with a stressful day ahead of you, it really does make a difference to start the day on a positive note. Later I didn’t limit myself to the mornings. I kept writing down for every small thing happening to be grateful for throughout the entire day.
By making an effort to focus on gratitude throughout the day, it began to become an automatic habit in the brain. Feeling grateful feels a hell lot better than feeling angry, bored, frustrated, depressed or any other emotion from the dark side of the force. The habit is self-perpetuating. In any situation, even the unpleasant ones, you can find something to be grateful for.
So now share with me your experience of being ‘GRATEFUL’ by commenting back. I am waiting for it 🙂 And just a hint: Day 5 is gonna be different and more thrilling. Get yourself ready for it ;).
Explain the sensations in your body right now – be specific!
Now this is tricky as well as a straight question. While answering don’t restrict yourself. Let your emotions float. When was it last when you had thought about the sensation in your body, taking out time for yourself?
Most of the time, fulfilling our duties in life with a lot of responsibilities we tend to forget ourselves and our emotions especially the sensations our body goes through…
Take this opportunity to feel the sensations your body is feeling right now! Feel it. Live it.
Sensations could be anything since long you haven’t felt or want to feel now. Go for it!
Share yours once you are done for Day 5 and I will share mine 🙂
Okay! Now my turn! Sensation right now that OI am feeling right now is ‘Contemplate’!
A sensation is:
So a sensation is a feeling whether its from a touch or smell or taste. As for a thought, a thought in and of itself can’t be a sensation. But they can create sensations. Like thinking that ‘You are on a beach and feeling the sand below your toes even though you are at home’.
This is how true and strong emotions for somebody or something create a high impact on our lives with high sensitivity of sensations 🙂
Write down one worry you have right now?
It’s important. Whether you implement it or not. Write down the worry you have right now, in your life! I could have started the write-up with ‘Do you have worry right now’? But I didn’t because we as humans definitely cannot live and lead our lives without worrying for anything or something. Our subconscious mind is always surrounded by it, whether we want it or not! I am not going into the classification or detailing of it, No! I just want you to write it down!
By writing it down
Write it down with with the help of:
Here is the reflective exercise that will help you once you write it down:
You are not the only one with worry or worries! Please keep this in mind. Everyone lives through life with negative experiences and emotions.
The way you deal with those negative experiences and emotions is the real key to HAPPINESS.
So, Here the exercise that I am offering you to do is to describe your one worry from your day also as if you are the 3rd person watching it.
It is easy to get upset when we are all ‘I’ but the whole scene might change when we let go of the ‘I’ and try to look at the matter objectively. This exercise will help you unwind and live a more peaceful, happier life.
It’s a tendency to keep a bunch of notes as well as worries in the mind and heart. That’s not healthy! By writing down everything you need to attend to, you free your mind from distractions and let it be free.
The bottom line with this exercise is to stop remembering and start writing.
Just get it down on paper and out from your MIND.
Once you have done you will notice how much easier it is to look at your ‘WORRY’ and resolve it.
By writing down your worry you will achieve:
This exercise has the power to:
Try this out for yourself and share your results... If not with me at least with your own self!
Now write down 3 logical ways to think about that worry?
In the day 6 a brief explanation is given on ‘Worry’! So am sure you must have followed and understood the root causes of it. So, today I want you to start with thinking three logical ways to think about that worry that you have pen down on Day 6.
I will help you here:
Let me share with you that ‘Worry’/’Stress’ are silent killers. Don’t allow them to make a home in you!
One cannot stop from worrying! But thinking it rationally helps you get a solution for a better and healthy life 🙂
Next topic of Journal is interesting as well as strongly recommended for your Mental Health so stay tuned!
What do you need to let go of in your life right now?
As we have discussed a lot of worries now comes the connectivity about what you need to let go of from your life right now! Think about it. Think ‘HARD’. Think about what is causing you pain. Think that is ‘Stopping you from progressing’. At times we keep things or memories close to our hearts which needs to be let go. It maintains a healthy habit of decluttering. Not required should be removed from life. Then be it in the form of materialistic things or memories stored from the past! Make sufficient space for ‘NEW’.
Let go of your Worries, Ego, Overthinking, Anger and Revenge as it will not take you anywhere in your life. Act now, as immature people can only criticise. Let go of the past, make peace with it instead!
Think. It could be anything like:
"Don't let yesterday take up too much of today" - Will Rogers
Holding on to good memories is never harmful but holding on to bad memories can be just detrimental.
What can you do to improve your mental health today?
Have you ever taken out time for yourself doing this exercise or thought about it? If not then this the time! Do it right now. List down things you can do for your mental health like we do for our physical health by doing exercises, yoga, walking, meditation along with maintaining healthy eating habits. Equally mental health is important. It should not be ignored at any cost. Everyone has their own unique ways. So tell me today what will you do to improve your mental health?
I will help you by my TOP 10 here to improve your overall Mental Health:
So this is it for today. See you at Day 10 🙂
Write down three things that you achieved today and how they made you feel?
Well I could have tweaked this question like ‘Write down three things that you have achieved TILL today and how they made you feel?’ But I have refrained myself from doing that! Simple reason I want you to think of today. We have been working on day to day basics with sensitive topics in our 30 Day Journal here. So, yes note down things you have achieved today.
I have been practising all the questions myself and have seen the tremendous change in myself, my lifestyle and my thinking. So go for it. Be true to yourself!
I can answer for myself here one thing for sure after my achievements, that I get ‘Happiness’. Achievements aren’t defined here. So don’t be in a trap! It could be anything as of the day. For example for me it’s simple: watering my indoor plants and cleaning them is the biggest achievement of my day! As I am with nature and nurturing them, see them bloom and blossom. The satisfaction that I get and feel, no comparison with anything else. I am into my own world at that time. But we as humans are different from each other, so might be you must be having different emotions. Think about it and express it.
Everyone is chasing happiness, but only few know from where it comes from. Happiness is not a goal. Instead, you get to travel everyday. Here, I will be sharing a few QUOTES ABOUT HAPPINESS and smiles that will inspire you. Being happy with who you are and what you are is the only thing that can make you happy, not what people expect you to be.
Live Life Short Quotes
Don’t categorise achievements as something which is visible or somewhere related to money. When we read success stories of Bill Gates, Ambani, Warren Buffet, we think that they have achieved something in their lives. And if this is the scenario we can say that our mothers are housewives and have failed to achieve anything in their life. Although, they are the one who make our house a home. Going with the flow, I will say achievements are not which can be seen through medals, trophies, and money. I am not saying being successful is not an achievement, but whatever you get in life, accepting it is an achievement. You achieve something when you get contentment with something.
See ya! Stay Blessed!
Talk about the happiest time of your life.
So, here you are! How often do you talk about your happiest time with your loved ones? Do you keep sharing it? In a way keep remembering it? When you talk about your happiest time, events, gathering, achievements and so on and on… it makes the heart feel complete and at peace. It’s like there is so much in life to look forward to. When you share your happiest time – you leave stories behind for your generation to share with the upcoming generation and so on and on! You never know who is getting inspired by your aspirations. Just talk it out!
There can be absolutely thousands of things to make your day, to make your life happy one, even if not many great things are happening in your life. But the most important thing is your ‘Attitude towards your life’. How you see your life and things around you. If you have the right attitude, you will be happy even in your worst of the situations.
The key to happiness is in many things, not just one.
The First one is Simplicity. You should always enjoy simple things in your life, no matter what. Don’t aspire for bigger things. Look around you, observe things, experience the beauty of serene nature, the sunrise, sunset, million stars in the night, feel the cool breeze of wind in the morning and evening time, feel the rain, feel how it feels to sleep like a child in the cold wintry days. Spend time with family, with children, love some pet animal, a dog, cat or anything.
Ever heard people speaking in interviews to their friends after they have survived a tragedy, had a “life altering experience”.. They go like this, ‘Now I am more aware of myself’. And now I have started appreciating smaller, simple things in life. I have a new attitude towards life.’ This is the story of many, people don’t appreciate things until they are struck with such tragedies. Don’t be like them. Start doing such things now.
Spending time in nature is the healthiest thing. And as they say it, nature is cheaper than therapy. Don’t waste your money on some shrink, instead go out in nature, someplace nice, quiet or with your loved ones, whatever you like.
Then there’s Music. Music has the power to make you forget everything. When you are listening to music, listen intently, feel it within you, embrace it, dance to it, cry it if it’s sad. Crying is also healthy. You get it out of your system.
Reading is important. You learn a lot of things from books, read history or biopics to learn how people lived, what they changed, how they made a difference.
People don’t realize the benefits of writing daily or weekly, keeping a journal. Write anything that comes to your mind, write about the things happening around the world, people around you. You feel light-headed, healthy.
Watching a movie or some episodes of a series daily, can make your day anytime. Make it a habit to watch an episode of your favourite selection before you get on with your day to day work. It will improve your mood. Watch realistic works. iSo that you can relate it to your life. Learn from it.
Having a sense of humour can help even in the worst cases. Don’t get offended easily. Make jokes, quietly in your mind to avoid beating if it becomes too much. Laugh at yourself.
One more thing which works for me, is don’t give a damn in general about things. Say, ‘My Bad’ and move on. Don’t care about what people think. Don’t whine about your stupid little problems. You could only make it worse by whining about it. I hate those people who have every reason to be happy but they are not because they want more, they compare themselves with others, and aspire for materialistic things. Never compare yourself with anyone. Don’t get jealous. Don’t get mad if you lose something.
Some more things would be as simple as, walking down the street, while listening to music, doing some photography, daydreaming, helping someone, meeting new people etc etc.
At last, be passionate about something, anything. Spend more time doing it and go after your dreams. Dream more and love more things, as many as you can. Learn something new each day. Have a Happy Life.
While doing all this. Talk! Talk about the happiest time of your life when you were busy doing it, making memories 🙂
When was the last time you did something for yourself?
After reading this question are you still thinking or you were able to answer yourself immediately? Well both the scenarios are important. If you already have an answer, good going. Keep it up! But what if you are still struggling? It’s an indication that you should take up seriously.
Anything that you did for yourself which you can mention here and which gave you happiness counts. Then be a haircut for yourself or just go to a spa. Or going for a movie or night out with friends. In this pandemic situation meeting someone you love, adore or have missed them for a long time…counts. Note it down.
Even doing something good for others, if it made you happy then its equivalent of doing something good for yourself.
So, be true to yourself and write it down for yourself. It can be more than one thing also. Surprise yourself by the answers you give to yourself 🙂
What made a positive effect on your life and why?
I am sure there may be many incidents for you to narrate here. But there must be a special one that’s engraved on your heart forever for sure. It’s like a lifetime lesson. Take a deep dive in your memories and get that one or at least one pearl out from your ocean.
I will share mine here with you all. As I am a huge fan of reading, I keep myself occupied throughout the day for maximum hours dwelled in reading. Everything and every time I read, I learn something new. At times reading the same stuff, it still leaves me with some new learning and feed for my thoughts. With life’s learning along with the combination of reading the positive impact that I have in my life are:
You are the only help to yourself. (Not even your parents or beloved ones)
Your pain is your endurance. People can only hear you and be sympathetic but the “pain” is all yours and you have to deal with it.
The more you value others, the more you are neglected. The more you value yourself, the more you grow.
Every person and situation of your life is temporary. Only you are permanent. And so, stop lamenting the wrongdoings. Start celebrating even the smallest achievement.
I would write down a few ideas which influenced my life to a great extent: So that you can write yours’s without struggling much about what has a positive effect on your life and why?
1.’The harder you sweat in peace, the lesser you bleed in war’ .
2.Anyway you have to do it. Better do it NOW.
These are the quotes I tell to myself whenever I procrastinate.
3.Remember the one who gave up?
Well, we don’t remember quitters.
I tell this to myself whenever I feel like ‘Okay. I’m done. I can’t do it anymore’.
4.Patience has its reward.
The Chinese bamboo and learned that the tree takes 5 years, 3 months to grow to its whole height of 80 feet. Yet, for the first 5 years, you only see a tiny green shoot, but in the next 90 days, it grows into a full-fledged tree. But in those first 60 months, it is growing its strong network of roots underground, to support the tree. In an era of instant gratification, we settle for shorter trees, but remember patience has its reward. These are your years of growing that strong network of roots but be sure when you finally achieve your success, people will call it “overnight success”.
All the best 🙂 See you at Day 14
How do you feel when you consider therapy or treatment for mental illness?
Let’s start this topic today with your reaction! How did you feel when you read this question? What was your first reaction? Do you take up this question and topic as healthy? Or do you feel uncomfortable discussing or even taking it up?
Normally people are not comfortable talking about their discomfort. People think depression is not a topic to be discussed publicly! But here I want to ask Why not? If you are feeling left out, uncomfortable, stressed or have depressing thoughts and suffering alone, why not talk it out? Many times people wear a plastic smile and hide away their true feelings, letting that depression make a way deep inside them and at times taking their lives away!
So here, this is a straight question you need to answer yourself and no one else. Write it down in your Journal. What and how do you feel? If you are suffering or knows anyone who is suffering from it! Be brave to accept and ready to help. Mental health is not about the old saying ‘He/She is mad’! Take them to a mental hospital, NO! Please don’t shy away. Come forward and take help if required. Don’t suffer in ‘SILENCE’.
“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
A person with mental illness grows up and lives in a world of people mostly uneducated about mental illness, with a long-standing history of explaining mental illness as an example of spiritual or character weakness.
The stigma surrounding mental illness deserves to die, as the overwhelming majority of those with mental health diagnoses live productive lives, have good friendships and relationships, and do not pose a threat in any way to the well being of others. They are much more likely to cause harm to themselves if their illness is not successfully treated. They carry the pain, shame, and suffering inside themselves, as mental illness is most often an ‘invisible illness,” unknown and undetectable by those around them.
Even though only a small minority of the mentally ill are violent, most people perceive people with a mental illness to be more unstable or more likely to become violent.
The lack of understanding of what mental illness is leads to:
People avoid what they feel as they have a right to be afraid of and most people will also avoid what they do not understand. Frightening over-the-top images of “violent crazy people” on television or in movies do not help educate about mental illness. That a very small minority of those with mental illness commit crimes doesn’t matter, when perception of the mentally ill as violent or unlawful comes from the media sensationalizing those very few cases.
We lack an understanding and awareness of what mental illness is, we are reluctant or ashamed to admit it, and mental illness is highly stigmatized. People make negative comments and don’t realize how those comments can really affect how we feel. And how we go about our lives. And it can actually leave little scars on us inside. Nobody reaches out to emotionally distressed for help. Instead, they are shunned , ridiculed, or feared.
Sometimes, families do not consider mental illness to be a problem, we have to make them understand that mental illnesses are real medical conditions and that there are effective treatments and these must be made available to people.
Mental illness should not be stigmatized. Instead, we need to start talking about it more. We need to start giving out the truth. And not perpetuating the lies. When we see somebody who’s emotionally distressed or acting strangely, or too often intoxicated for them we need to be involved, show our concern. This may help somebody to alleviate them from unnecessary suffering. Let’s help each other. Let’s work together, As we break through the stigma. And work towards a healthy mind and a healthy body.
Think about the last time you were anxious that turned out to be nothing to worry about. How did you feel?
So, I will start here by sharing my story. I was in my high school. I was fourteen that time. My best buddy came to school and seemed lost. Till mid of the day I was struggling with her to find out what’s wrong with her! But the day was longer and luck was playing hard on me. Later she agreed to talk to me telling me I will share something with you but it’s a secret. Keep it with you. I hurriedly said ‘Promise’ go ahead and tell me quickly now. She said I have been observing some lumps in my breast and armpit. Her eyes were all filled with tears. She said at times it pains also especially when touched. I freaked out. We had just entered our teens and had witnessed few live cases of ‘Breast Cancer’. Just a week before there was a campaign about the awareness of the same in our school. And we were asked to diagnose ourselves on a regular basis. It was the time I felt extremely anxious. I was scared and was sweating. I felt breathless and at the same time suffocated. My mind started racing. Don’t know what all thoughts came to my mind about my closest friend’s suffering and me losing her. Ah! It was indeed the most scary day of my life.
She was anxious too and didn’t want to share this with anyone. Not even her parents. I calmed myself down and had a pep talk with her. Finally in a day’s time I convinced her to share this with her parents and take the reference of the free check up from the campaign that happened and stay positive. I promised her to be by her side all the time. Next day we went for her through check-ups. The time from the check-up till the results came left me all exhausted and drained out. By the grace of God everything was normal and her reports were negative. It was just the growing biological symptoms of the body. Till today we remember that day and all that we had gone through with our emotions but yes learned our hard lesson ‘Better to be safe, then Sorry.‘
Do this exercise. Write down and check it for yourself. Now go one step further. Start Analysing the causes and patterns of your worries. I will help you with a few quick tips to stop worrying for unnecessary things in life.
#1 Find the Cause.
Most things don’t actually have a leg to stand on, meaning they have no true basis to exist. If you find the cause of the worry, you can often eliminate it right there.
#2 Take the Emotion out of it.
Subjectively, the world may end when you lose your job or get out of a relationship. Objectively, however, it is not a permanent thing to anything. Don’t let your emotions cloud your reason.
#3 Record the Worry and Deal with it straight away.
“Dealing with it” is not about actually solving the worry, but more about finding a time and place at which you will handle it.
Write down a time and day on which you will be able to deal with it with whatever worry that plagues you right now; sit down even if you just have to sit down for a while to think about it.
Taking action in scheduling it makes the worry feel taken care of and at least gets it out of your head for present.
#4 Look at the Bigger Picture.
What matters to you in the end? What are you worrying over at this point? Are you worried about losing your love, or job for example? Would this matter in the end if you still found love or a better job? There is a reason things don’t seem so big in hindsight! Try to take that feeling of looking back at something and use it for today!
#5 Worry about Better Things.
It is physically impossible for your mind to think about multiple things at the exact same time; even during Multitasking your mind switches between thoughts rapidly but never deals with things simultaneously.
That being said, if you focus your thoughts on better things you will surely drown out the worry. This will get your mind into a better, overall, situation.
#6 What if the worry holds true?
Let your mind wander and then ask yourself what were to happen if the worry were to hold true. Would your life end then? Could you never be happy again? Would it all be over? Or do you think you have the power to move out of whatever horrible mess you can imagine? You have made it out of every bad thing thus far… What is to say you can’t this time should it happen?
#7 Let Go.
This will be drastically easier once you actually have applied some of the above mentioned tips. You can shortcut getting rid of the worry simply by believing that any one of the above holds true and letting the worry go based on the assumption that it holds no value. This is based mostly on trust in yourself, and therefore not something you can apply if you have worried over many things recently. But, the more you handle your worries, the easier it will be to let go of them before they truly take hold on YOU!
“ Be Grateful For What You Have. Be Fearless For What You Want.”
What was your biggest failure? And what did you learn from your biggest failure in your life?
I am sure we all have different stories and different expectations from life. So each lesson learned is different from each other. Please think and write down what you think is your biggest failure in life and what lessons have you learned from it. The failure could be anything through out in your life, from your childhood, till right now!
“My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” – Abraham Lincoln
Try and see if you recognize any of these names: Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Winston Churchill, Steven Spielberg, and Albert Einstein; how about Henry Ford? Nobody would argue that these are some of the best, brightest minds to have ever existed and that they’ve all made tremendous contributions to society. Nobody would ever attach the word failure to any one of them. But that’s exactly what they were at one time.
Failure is a matter of perspective, plain and simple. Let’s just take Abraham Lincoln, for example. The 16thPresident of the United States may just go down in history as the best leader the United States, perhaps the entire world, has ever had. What the history books will often omit however, is the number of failures that Lincoln experienced, among them: losing his jobs, failing in business, losing multiple runs for office (eight in total), and numerous rejections by colleagues and constituents; this all before being elected president in 1860. The rest is history.
Lincoln’s story alone is enough to demonstrate how failure can be a driving force towards success. The fact is that many of life’s important lessons are learned through failures and setbacks.
HERE ARE 10 LESSONS WE CAN ALL LEARN FROM FAILURE:
1. FAILURE BUILDS CHARACTER
There is a lesson to be learned from everything, including failure. Perhaps the greatest benefit earned from failure is strength. Think about it: if life were perfect and every endeavour ended in seamless success, what sort of person would you be? The truth is this – failure teaches us more about ourselves and builds character better than success ever could.
2. FAILURE CREATES OPPORTUNITY
Think about this: how many times in your life have you failed at something only to discover another opportunity? Maybe it was a failed relationship that led you to someone great. Maybe it was a job that didn’t suit you and brought you a better one. Regardless of what your “failure” was, the sweetness afterwards was much better as a result, wasn’t it?
3. FAILURE IS A GREAT TEACHER
Failure has a way of showing what your strengths and weaknesses are while motivating you to correct them. In any area of life – academics, work, play, relationships, etc. – failure is often the driving force behind success. For example, Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest basketball player in history, failed to make his high school basketball team. When asked about his early failures, Jordan said:
“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”
4. FAILURE INSTILLS COURAGE
As should be clear by now, most people are scared of failure. Many of us are unwilling to take the uncertain path; we’d just prefer to stay in the same boat and not rock it too much. After all, we have responsibilities and people that depend on us. In short, failure requires courage. Whether the failure experienced was anticipated or not, you’ll need to toughen up a bit to get through it.
5. FAILURE TEACHES PERSEVERANCE
When experiencing failure, it’s very easy to just roll over and give up. “What’s the use?” you say to yourself. It takes guts and determination to keep driving forward. Take J.K Rowling, author of the enormously successful Harry Potter series. Rowling said that she received “loads” of rejection letters over a five year span before finding a publisher for one of the most successful book (and movie) series ever. Wow.
6. FAILURE SPAWNS CREATIVITY
If necessity is the mother of invention, failure is the father. Nothing spurs creativity like failure. Artists and creators of all stripes know that if something doesn’t work out, they must tap into their large reservoir of creative talent to create something truly unique.
8. FAILURE IS ACCEPTABLE
While a simple concept, accepting failure can be difficult to truly embrace. In the midst of experiencing failure, it is never a good feeling. In fact, this feeling can be downright gut-wrenching. But just remember that failure is acceptable…lack of effort is not. Here’s Michael Jordan again: “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”
9. FAILURE ENCOURAGES EXPLORATION
Steve Jobs knew that the corporate world was not for him. In fact, many things were not. He disliked college, societal norms, and the stiffness of businesspeople. Before founding Apple with Steve Wozniak, Jobs could have been labelled as a failure…he just didn’t care. Jobs said: “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” So explore and don’t let anything, especially failure, stop you.
10. FAILURE TEACHES RESILIENCE
Along with making us better people, failure both teaches and strengthens resilience. Through the discomfort and uncertainty of failure, one will be better able to take on any of life’s challenges as they come. Resilience is something required of all successful people, and there is no better teacher of resilience than failure.
If you don’t pick yourself up by your own tail or bootstraps, then no one else will do it for you. Learn to advise and assist yourself.
Talk about three things that make you seriously ‘HAPPY?
Pen it down. Think. It could be small or no matter how big. Materialistic or real. Important is to be happy. You feeling at peace. It could be your me time you give to yourself or family time. Meeting with friends or going out for dining. Taking vacations or short break as staycation. Travelling or watching movies sitting at your own home. It can be anything.
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. Live in the moment.
My list of three things are the following.
The first thing that I do in the morning is to do meditation and take a walk for almost 40 minutes whenever I get time in the day. I feel great after the doing meditation and going for a walk as I get the feeling that I have done something fruitful with my day for wellbeing of my mental health and taking care of my body.
Just like food is must for body, learning is must for mind. I must learn something new every day. Books are my constant companions. If I read at least one hour in a day a good book, I feel blessed. Nothing pleases me as much as reading a great work of a great mind.
Writing is like my mental work-out. I have to write to express my thoughts. It is an expression of a new knowledge in my own words. I write my journal on my blog daily nowadays.
Sometime, I am busy writing a book and feel great if I get some new idea of a chapter in the morning. Occasionally I even write two or three chapters in day. Also i devote my fix time for my content writing getting it published with renowned online magazine and newspapers.
It gives a high when I write something good that is appreciated and liked by my readers.
How would you describe the state of mental health to a stranger?
Personally, I have been receiving various but similar answer to this question. While reading this, you are free to write exactly what you feel like. No force, no boundaries. I promise you won’t be judged. I have come across people whom if given a piece of advice stating that ‘Don’t worry everything will be fine. You will be fine. It happens. Learn to move on.’ Trust me you will be blocked forever. So, I feel at times it important just to be there. There to listen. Not to reply.
If I have to answer here personally for myself, I would say:
The one word that describe me and my mindset is KINDNESS.
It is much more than just an act.
Kindness can mean different things to different people. The meaning is how YOU choose to show it. Be it through empathy, acceptance, love, kind gestures, thoughtfulness, optimism, the possibilities are entirely up to you. Kindness might look like being helpful or showing empathy. It may mean doing nice things without expecting nice things in return.
Kindness is beauty.
We are humans, and therefore, we make mistakes. We can be kind in our response to ourselves and others when those mistakes occur. This means thinking before speaking, forgiving before seeking revenge, being patient, loving, helping, affectionate with others and thinking about long-term relationships instead of short-term pride. If we could all remember that no one of us is perfect, we would be a lot kinder to each other. Offer grace, be kind.
I will end this here with just one line in the end,
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”
If you had to explain how to look after your mental heath to an alien, what would you say?
Fiction speaks a thousand words:
Imagine just casually walking home in the daytime from somewhere. You aren’t too far from it, but you can see the house in the distance. You are completely unaware of your surroundings; no warnings; no signs of anything. You feel safe, content. Suddenly, the sky around you begins to turn a crimson red, and quickly— very quickly. The air becomes toxic and burns every time you breathe, and each footstep you take makes your legs and knees feel weaker. You begin to sprint home in hopes to push through this. You see your house get farther from your view as you run toward it. Your safe zone is no longer there; it’s getting farther away by the inch; foot; yard; meter; mile; kilometre. You are not going home. You are alone, and will suffer alone. As you lose your breath and begin to slow down, you realize the pain in your body and collapse completely. Struggling and unable to get up, you keep trying to reach for home. The wind gets thicker and harder to breathe, and the pain becomes more immense. It feels as if gravity became 20x stronger than it used to be. As you helplessly take a look around, the sky and ground have turned to a pitch black. Everything is now nothing, and here you are, being forced into this empty void, with no one there to help you. As your vision begins to fade and you lose your final breaths of air, you feel the emptiness, hopelessness, and helplessness reside and grow within you. Everything slowly centres and fades to black.
Now your turn 🙂
Using an Analogy, I will try to explain what one can feel: I’m a bird. I wear my achievements as vivid, kaleidoscopic colours on my wings. Every day, people wake to find me soaring joyfully through the air. The adults gaze at me as I fly past them. They hear my carefree, light-hearted squawks and see my magnificent accomplishments and shower me with reverence. “Kids,” they say. "That bird is so impressive. Look how he’s grown into a responsible, strong animal. Work hard, and someday you’ll be like him.” On the most overcast days my markings become brighter against the murky grey sky; my laugh becomes more energetic amidst the ambience of gloom. They admire me. Idolize me. Every night I bid farewell to the people and retreat to my nest, a crude, fracturing home built from splintered twigs. I rip the festive colourings on my wings off and toss them to the ground. They reveal deep, hideous gashes, piercing red on my black plume. As I sing myself to sleep, my voice comes out gravelly, strained, as if thrown into an icy river and neglected. When I wake in the mornings I clip the colourings back on. I drink gallons of water to massage my aching throat. I wipe the tears off my feathers before soaring out to greet the people once more. Thanks for reading. It helps a lot to know people can see what one is going through 🙂
If money was no object, what would you do/buy to make yourself happy?
A day of complete Freedom, where nothing applies, no rules, no laws, no obligations, no compulsions, just Me how I was intended and the rest of the world. There’s no work, no kept time, no bad thoughts, we are enslaved by our need to be everybody’s version of you but who you are, forcing each personality disorders, bullying other, hurting, stealing just being the worst version of ourselves. People are not smiling and being serine. It gets so emotional in distraught to constantly watch people wear masks all day being guilted into pushing your” inner nice self” to the fullest. Society deems a forever bias “everyman for themselves” repertoire.
Talk about one of your biggest fears. Be honest.
Let’s talk. Pen it down. Share it with me. I will share mine here 🙂
My deepest fear was letting go of people who no longer served my purpose and who were nothing more than a habit. I deeply feared of letting go of all that toxicity, negativity because I was so accustomed to them that without all of it, I knew I would be empty. One very fine day, I learnt that I do not deserve to face this shit and bring myself pain. I decided to cut that diseased part from myself, bleed and finally wait patiently to heal.
My deepest fear was about acting upon my gut feeling because I really feared that it would turn out to be wrong. If only I had known that these feelings are messages from the soul, my story could have been all together very different. I finally faced this fear of mine by falling and then pulling myself together again to stand upright.
My deepest fear was of letting things happen as they happen. I always wanted to control everything and took those so-called necessary steps to make things happen my way. When I finally learnt that what has to happen will happen and my any effort will not change the course of it’s happening, everything changed for good in my life. I faced this fear by experiencing deep pain, but that surprisingly made me strong.
I still have many fears and they are still patiently waiting to be faced.
What’s the biggest lesson you have learned about having good mental health?
5 lessons learnt during 2020:
2020 taught us that we are stronger than we can imagine. Give us some time, and we can adapt ourselves to any way of life, with a smile on our faces.
What triggers your anxiety/depression? How can you manage that?
My own approach is that anxiety and depression are both normal human emotions that only get trotted out if we need them. I don’t buy into the idea that they are illnesses, though in strength they can certainly make us sick, and some people do get stuck in them.
Anxiety is fear for our well-being. If we have unresolved fears of harm from our past, we may be able to suppress them for years, but eventually they leak out as anxiety.
Depression is a warning that we cannot handle any more emotional pain. Unresolved emotional pain from out past, plus any incoming emotional pain from our present, is hurting us. Depression is so unpleasant because it is pushing us to resolve that pain, even though doing so can be anguishing. Once it is resolved, we feel better.
These are quick, thumb-nail descriptions, but they are more than most people have, so a lot of people are very confused about depression and anxiety. They think they are horrible sicknesses that you get if you are unlucky, when actually they are just very strong nudges from your mind to deal with unresolved emotional pain.
The emotional pain often comes from our childhood, because childhood brains aren’t mature enough to resolve it. But it can come from any time.
A good therapist is often the best way to work through it.
Think about someone who has negatively impacted your mental health. Write them a letter.
It can be anything or anyone. Even at times small talks or insults hurts. The best way is to talk it out or if not then write a letter. It will great if you can hand it over but in case if you don’t still by writing it down it’s out from your heart.
I will help you here by stating points people should say or shouldn’t say;
You should say the following 5 things:
You shouldn’t say the following:
What was the turning point of your mental health?
Well, I will narrate here a short brief from a once upon a time a student. I found it inspiring. Share with me your turning points.
Growing up, I didn’t know the importance of mental health because no one taught me about it. Hell, I didn’t even know what those words meant. HAHAHA
I had everything figured out, or so they thought. People made me feel that whatever it was that I was going through, were not valid so I hid it from them. That took a toll on my mental health. I hated everything and everyone. Hated how I was not happy nor sad but numb…. I thought I was just “sad” and it was just the hormones because teenagers tend to react that way but no… All I had were thoughts about taking away my life when it wasn’t mine for the taking.
I majored in Psychology and that’s when I started healing. I learned to value myself more, and the things I was so guilty of doing because it’s not ‘normal’ became my comfort. I accepted my demons and promised to help others who are struggling just like me. Studying about the nature of human mind and behaviour helped me grasp the importance of having a healthy mind. I am still improving, but I am much better than before.
How does social media makes you feel?
Social media use and mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression are correlated. This is not to say that using social media will cause you to have a mental health issue, but rather using social media in a specific way, such as overusing it may increase your chances of developing social anxiety or major depressive disorder.
People are constantly on social media to see what their friends have posted and what everyone on their feed have been up to in their own “lives”. These “lives” may not always depict the true reality that the individual lives in. Some people portray a completely different person on social media by flaunting cars, houses, and material objects they truly don’t own. The people watching the feeds of these people with the fake lives will compare their own lives and engage in a social comparison that will cause them to be sad because they might feel that they aren’t as “successful” as that person showing off all the materialistic stuff.
Further, people are constantly posting material onto facebook, instagram, and snapchat, as well as other social media outlets, anxiously waiting for responses and likes so that they can feel that they are apart of the entire network and not feel excluded. When an individual posts a picture or video and does not get as many likes or responses as they expected, they begin to feel left out and this is where the addiction to social media stems from. They will usually go and utilize other measures to get more followers and more likes so that they can feel satisfied in the social internet world.
Despite all the satisfaction they may receive on social media outlets when it comes to in-person communication, they begin to lack the social skills needed to communicate with others outside of the screen.
This is where problems arise. When people are so used to talking on social media or text, they fear human interaction and can essentially develop social anxiety.
On the other hand, if social media is utilized to learn new material or to promote something positive such as education or activism of some sort, it can only result in positive outcomes and not so much mental ailments.
Do we control our thoughts or our thoughts control us?
First, we are not our thoughts!
Second, our thoughts do not control us.
And third, YES, we do have the ability not only to control our thoughts but also to optimize the way we use our incredible supercomputer – our brain!
You can do a system upgrade of your supercomputer with a bit of maintenance.
Try these 7 tips to get started.
ONE. Work hard to let go of anger and resentment.
Disappointment and feeling wronged or treated unjustly in some way is a normal part of life. This feeling is, at some point, inevitable. You cannot always control every event or situation, but you can control how you react to it.
TWO. Change your attitude towards mistakes.
Being self-critical can be a big factor in having negative thoughts. So you’ve made your share of mistakes, or perhaps you made a really big single mistake. It is something we all do, and we do it often. It’s an integral part of becoming an adult. Take a different approach to your mistakes so that you can grow instead of staying in the same rut.
THREE. Declutter your mind with meditation.
It’s important to keep in mind that we are not our thoughts, and that there is a way to see our thoughts from a distance to be able to evaluate them better. You can do this by practicing meditation. It does not take a lot of time, it’s simple to follow, and it can be beneficial: it can improve your focus, declutter your mind, give you a greater sense of calm, and help you to feel more relaxed and positive about your life.
FOUR. Practice gratitude every day.
Gratitude rewires our brain to think about positive things, the things that we have going for us, instead of the things we do not have (or have not yet accomplished) and that can leave us feeling worried, anxious, frustrated, and even unhappy.
FIVE. Grow your mindset.
Henry Ford once said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” In other words, if you believe you can think more positively, you can make it happen. Conversely, if you don’t believe in the power of positive thinking, you can easily get stuck in a rut of negativity where you can’t see a way out.
SIX. When you think something is too hard to do (“I can’t do this, it’s impossible!”), try a different approach by asking yourself, “Why not?”
Maybe you’re procrastinating, or “awfulizing” or just postponing a task or problem you think is insurmountable. You end up doing nothing about it. But there are different ways to approach the problem.
SEVEN. Give your mind a break by challenging your body.
Doing physical exercise, even if it is targeted and short, can do wonders for your brain. It can improve your brain’s cognitive performance, problem solving ability, and even boost long-term memory. But even better than that: a physical challenge can calm the chaos of your thoughts and turn your mind to simple things.
Is there anything good about anxiety? Think!
No. Unless and until it teaches you something. Do share what has it taught to you!
Write five things you love about yourself and explain why?
I will be sharing mine here and would be waiting for yours:
Write a letter to God/The Universe or whomever you believe in about your mental health.
Be open and share it. Well, a person like me can only opt for a gratitude. So, here is my version 🙂
Thank you, dear god for this beautiful life, and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for all the strength that help me keep going, thank you for everything! I am truly grateful to you for blessing me with such a wonderful life. I am obliged to have a lovely family and friends. I believe people don’t thank you enough for their lives. People tend to be so blinded by the flaws in their lives that they forget there is a happy side to too. I am lucky to have enough food, a shelter and the much needed warmth and love in my life. I will never be able to thank you enough for the miraculous life I’ve been blessed with.
With this we come to end for our thirty day journal...
Below are the links to all the articles published on ‘SCRIBE MAGAZINE’ to date.
Posted in Cafes N Cities A premium Lifestyle magazine: https://cafesncities.com/nostalgia-a-way-of-gratitude/
It was just like any other day. Nothing special or planned! The day was going ‘ON’ at its average pace. However, suddenly, my husband offered to take us out on a long drive. My little angel and I readily agreed! It hardly took us 30 mins to get ready, and we were on wheels! The cold breeze and lovely gathering of clouds in the sky were complimenting us for the drive. We almost drove for 100 km with a single stopover for ice cream and coffee for ourselves. Just then, while sitting on the bench on the lakeside, watching the vast mountains, I saw my daughter innocently licking her ice cream.
She was looking so adorable that I couldn’t take my eyes off her!
Realizing that getting busy with our daily chores, we often become ungrateful for forgetting that happiness lies in the small things in our day-to-day lives! How often do we take time out to be grateful and live just in the moment, appreciating all we have rather than complaining about all we want, desire or hunt for…?
Few moments of silence and not knowing what happened to me, I teased her and played around with her. I was cuddling her, making her laugh her heart out. She hugged me and started jumping out of excitement. The innocence in her smile crispiness in her voice made the day more beautiful. Making me feel blessed and grateful for all that I have in life.
As soon as she was done with her ice-cream, I took her to a nearby pleasantry shop and asked her to get something for her.
She started to pick up all sorts of colourful toys, filling them up in her little hands and tiny pockets! I couldn’t stop laughing. Just then, she found an ‘ELSA TUSUM DOLL’ and threw the rest of everything away! I took that doll in hand, made it a puppet and started teasing her, calling her name in a blabbering tune…. “We got one more pet name for her! Our secret.” Our conservations started with that doll making her a puppet taking her to a fairyland that got converted into a story…
Not realizing that almost 20 mins had passed, we were busy playing like this. People have stopped and gathered around enjoying our ‘Doll Puppet Show’. Those were the most unforgettable minutes wherein we had forgotten everything else, especially me! I was just in that moment with her! I came back to the present with the sound of applause around me. Feeling embarrassed at the same time, glad, I got up, smiled at everyone, took her in my arms and went to the counter. Then, happily, purchased the ELSA DOLL and left.
It has been a couple of years now, my little angel from single digit has grown to double digit with her age, still our puppet shows in the morning and odd times in the day to play around with the tiny little doll is ‘ON’ making us both forget our actual AGE.
Posted in CafesNCities Magazine: https://cafesncities.com/nostalgia-a-way-of-gratitude/
For a Long time, I have wanted to start my day by writing my mind here, Pouring down my feelings, emotions, sentiments, experience, and whatever I have gone through. Finally thought, why not start from today itself. As its 1 October today!
What’s so special about today? We, ll everything. We, humans, tend to be ungrateful, complaining more and being less thankful. I have learned my hard lessons from life, and the 1st and foremost is of being ‘Thankful’. So I am starting my beautiful day today with a smile, thanking you for everything – EVERYTHING in my life. I have witnessed that we can stay happy if we complain less and look at our lives with all the happenings with a different attitude.
Today, I am elated as my daughter’s exams got over yesterday. Ah, what a relief, indeed. Though still, she is in her primary grades, the stress of her exams for more than two weeks I felt was on me. I felt as if I was appearing for my board exams. I studied every subject with her in detail to make her understand and prepare for exams. No doubt, I revised my old portion and learned a lot of new things. So, Yes, I am grateful.
She took me to my previous days of learning. I was forced to recall the combined studies that I had been doing with my friends and classmates. What fun it used to be. More gossip and fewer studies (I guess that’s what combined studies are! Isn’t it?). Midnight tea breaks and instant Maggie Noodles were the centres of attraction rather than the focus for the result and marks. We have one or two black sheep in the herd who were studious and were behind the ranks, but the rest all of us were badass cracked heads 🙂
All the fuss and drama that we went through jointly for the past two weeks were thrilling. So finally, yeah, here I am celebrating the HALF YEARLY EXAMS completed and looking forward to the ANNUAL EXAMS now.
Just two days for exams to get over, and marks have started to pour in. MCQ marks! First, I learned the abbreviation of MCQ – Multiple Choice Questions! I am not so into the marks scored for this year’s exams, but still, I am! Mind understands that we are going through hard times. This Pandemic situation has made everyone adopt the change with new lifestyles. I am debating with myself for marks scored and grades received! Is it essential? Especially in today’s situation! When all our children are taking online classes. It’s the virtual school they are attending. More than eight months have passed, and they have not met their friends, talked with them personally or hugged them. No more going out of home or doing any physical activities. Everyone is just trapped in their own secured homes for the sake of safety! So what children are actually memorizing by course learning and understanding, are these things gonna Work for them in future or in practical life? I agree that knowledge is necessary, but how we use it and implement it in our useful lives is altogether a different chapter.
Well, Writing my journal here is On & OFF. So Day 3 here precisely can be the other day also :-). Anyways, in no time, it was the weekend. From March 2020, since this Pandemic started, every day has been a working day. At the same time, all days are like weekends. The entire family has ‘Work from home’ schedules. School from home. Initially, it was great, but now it feels like loads of never-ending Work. Household chores, other works, professional Work, personal Work, everything has come under one roof. Pretty sure making everyone go crazy now. Most of us must have gotten acquainted with this new lifestyle, but I am sure many are still struggling to get adjusted and adopt this. It’s not easy, I know. But with no choice left, we have to learn to cope with this routine.
Anyways, so yeah, as I said, it was a weekend, and I decided to treat myself with movie night after a long, long time . . . The other day, I read reviews about the movie ‘Five Feet Apart’ released in 2019. Release Date: 15 March 2019 (USA)
Genre: Drama, Romance
Director: Justin Baldoni
Written by: Mikki Daughtry and Tobia Iaconis
Cast: Haley Lu Richardson, Cole Sprouse, Moises Arias
The movie is influenced by the Novel Five Feet Apart by Rachael Lippincott, released on 20 November 2018.
“Humans touch our first form of communication. Safety, Security all in a gentle clasp of fingers or a brush of lips on your soft cheek connects us when we’re happy, bolsters us in times of fear, excites us in times of passion and love. We need that touch from someone we love as much as we need our breath but I never understood the importance of touch. His touch. Until I couldn’t have it. So if you’re watching this, and you’re able, touch him. Touch her. Life’s too short to waste a second.”
She realized the importance of touch when she longed to hug her best friend, but she couldn’t ever again. “Could you ever love someone you can never touch,” This question questions our sanity and our beliefs of love? The answer lies in ourselves, would you ever fall for someone whose lips wouldn’t ever fail on you? Would you stay away from them, just to keep them alive? Would their survival ever mean to you more than yours?
Stella and Will, the protagonists of the drama, unknowingly meet in a hospital, and they are obliged to keep apart six feet at all times. Finally, however, Stella steals an inch from Cystic Fibrosis, and the disease was indeed indebted to her by robbing all her joys of her adolescence, and the distance is reduced to 5 feet. So, that’s why it’s titled Five Feet Apart. Apart from the premier protagonists, you’d love the tale that’s intricately crafted with a huge amount of amour and even all the other characters like Barb, Poe, Julie, and Abby, my personal favourite.
Few of my’ Favourite Dialogues’ from the movie
“If I’m going to die, I’d like to actually live first.”
“How long will I live my life afraid of what-ifs?”
“I’m tired of living without really living.”
“…I want to be fearless and free. It’s just life, Will. It’ll be over before we know it.”
“… Don’t think about what you’ve lost. Think of how much you have to gain. Live, Stella.”
If this year has taught me anything, it’s that grief can destroy a person.”
“I think a well-drawn cartoon can say more than words ever could, you know? It could change minds.”
If you read this till the end, take a deep breath, feel it, feel the life oozing inside you. Be grateful for the breath, be thankful for your life, express your gratitude for everything as not everyone receives the joy you’re treading by.
It’s my birthday month. I can see the excitement for my upcomBirthdayhday all around me. All my loved ones are trying to hide it from me though I can quickly feel it. I thought that preparation and planning to surprise me started much before then. My daughter is the most EXCITED to celebrate; it made up a gang with a couple of my close friends and families. All the personal phone calls and their murmuring kept me hooked up and suspicious. The more they tried to hide it, the more I would peep in to destroy their planning. The whole week turned out to be like the ‘Hide & Seek’ game in our house. Can’t wait for the final surprise on my birthday day. I can be a spoiler, but I don’t want to be! So, yeah, here I am supporting them all but keeping quiet and acting as I don’t know anything. . .
But the secret of my life at my home front is ‘I am the Planner’. Planning and implementation can’t be done without me! So YES, I am there but NOT there. . . He He He. . .
The day started with a fantastic surprise by my beloved daughter and her father. I could hear their whispers in my sleep in the early morning and knew they were planning out something for the morning and just waiting for me to wake up. As I knew something was cooking up, I took my own sweet time to wake up! My daughter was sleeping with me in the early morning, but I couldn’t find her beside me when I opened my eyes to get up. So I had to scream at both of them to signal that I had woken up. Initially, I thought to creep in the Living Room and surprise them with whatever they were doing, but then as I said, I didn’t want to be a spoiler, so I had to call them to our bedroom.
To my ‘Surprise’ they came up with a cupcake. Candle on top of it and two beautiful fresh ‘RED ROSE’. I was teasing my daughter by not blowing away the candle. She got hyper and stated MAMMA do it! After a few mins of flirting and having fun, I, like a good baby, did what I was asked to do, and they hugged me, singing the ‘Birthday Song’. OnBirthdayhday I was not allowed to make breakfast. So I waited for the next surprise. My favourite Breakfast was presented in the most elegant way. I truly cherished each and every moment of the morning.
My little angel got the ‘Birthday Card’ she had made at night and showed it to her father, announcing proudly that I am the 1st one to wish mamma at midnight 12:00 O’clock. He looked at me, and I couldn’t stop myself but blush.
Then I was honoured with a few of my favourite songs played in the background for almost half of the day. After lunch, my little princess left to surprise me in the evening, starting to have the gala movie time with DAD (daughters really grow up fast). She has planned everything with the selection of the movie, the ambience, décor, and a few snacks. I thoroughly enjoyed the pampering between yes calls and messages for the ‘Birthday Wishes’ that I kept reverting.
After the movie, the doorbell rang as soon as I planned to take a nap. I had my little munchkins on the door. Had a bigger surprise when a few more friends arrived with freshly baked homemade cake. This was a surprise! The real fun started. My daughter and our family and friends had planned this ‘BIG BOX’ surprise. My gift was wrapped in two layers of boxes with lots of confetti and handwritten wishes. My task was to guess who had written which wish, and then only I could proceed.
Guess What? I guessed all the wishes written by whom WRONG! Now, this was the most exciting part. I kept thinking wrong. None of my answers was correct. The room was filled with laughter, and at the same time, it was upsetting and infuriating the rest of them. But I was enjoying it thoroughly. Finally, as they had no choice left, I got all my gifts as they were for me!
The day didn’t end here! As soon as everyone disbursed for the day and I was relaxing on the couch, just 15 mins to go for the clock to strike twelve and change the date and day – the doorbell rang again. I was like, who could be now at this point of time in the night? My little one opened the door, and I had one more surprise. I had one of my best buddies at the door! She came up with her little munchkin and, of course, a DELICIOUS CAKE. Again an advance well, planned surprise which my daughter knew. We cut the cake precisely at 12:00 and had it with a lot of fun and chit chats!
What A Day! I honestly had the best time. Every year I think this is the best BIRTHDAY I have had till now, but the later year proves me wrong with the previous year giving me great memories to cherish with the best time spent with my loved ones.
I have put my faith in the Belief…
To believe in you!
You said when “I am ‘THERE’!”
I am ‘THERE’!
Today I want YOU to ask yourself, for OUR sake,
‘Are you really ‘THERE’?
I was a DEAD flower preserved in between the pages of life,
You came, picked me up and gave the energy, the fragrance back…
Making me bloom once again!
I was lost in my DARK World, not even bordering on taking the minimum doses of light….
You came providing me all the required SUNSHINE I needed!
I was all a STRAIGHT face without forming any curves on my lips…
You came SMILING to brighten my day, teaching me that it is the best exercise for the heart and face.
I was all COLD on the peak of negligence mode for myself, losing all my CHARM and chirpiness…
You came with the most innocent and captivating style of CAPTURING anybody’s heart!
HERE, I started to Believe that I BELIEVE in You!
But then, all of a sudden, World went upside down!
Everyone now is trapped with this new unseen virus and disease!
Now when we all are learning to adopt this new lifestyle,
Coping up with uncertainties and natural disasters,
I started feeling you not being ‘THERE’!
You are there but not THERE!
I am struggling daily, thinking about expressing myself to get you back, making you realize that.
I miss you
Those days have come now for which I wasn’t prepared at all!
I laugh to make you smile, but this seems like an impossible task
to be achieved ever!
I am putting all my efforts with complete confidence to get you back!
To conquer the unachievable, it seems like VAIN to make you happy and get you back on track!
I am day by day deteriorating, failing to make you understand how much you are WANTED and NEEDED!
Now, whenever you say I am THERE!
Why do I miss the ZEST?
Why do I miss the US?
Why do I miss the depth of our conversations, jokes, cute fights and healthy arguments?
Why do I feel Everything has come to a STANDSTILL?
Yes, you are THERE. I agree
PERFECTLY fulfilling the duties of multiple characters in your life!
But, in between these multiple characters of yours, I am going crazy searching for ‘YOU’ and only ‘YOU’!
I just want to convey a simple message to you here, that
If you are ‘THERE.’
Everything is ‘THERE’
Else I can’t even think and express,
And explain to you the reality that will be faced by all your loved ones!
That is how Everything will get RUINED and LOST!!!
I want YOU to Believe now in Beliefief –
I Believe that I Believe in YOIt’st’s only you who can keep thBeliefief going”–
“If I ‘m ‘TH’RE’, I ‘m ‘TH’R”’!”
Published in Cafes N Cities Magazine: https://cafesncities.com/i-believe-to-believe-in-you/
The full article can be read on the link given above.
“Are we what we are today, because it was destined, or we grew with the help of our teachers?” Today when everyone is taking this opportunity to talk about teachers and show gratitude through various means like making cards, doing online ‘thanks’ programs, writing articles, sending emails and doing telephonic talks to wish them, even I want to pay tribute to all my teachers in my life and be a part of this grand celebration! By observing myself for what I am today, I want to thank my academic teachers and them who have been a part of my journey into moulding me and helping me become what I am today.
When the students are guided through a process of self–transformation that is much larger than mere memorization of facts, teachers are those who come into the picture. Education is no doubt about creating an environment and support system in which a person change who they are! Teachers mediate and guide that transformation.
Moving further with the grades, I cherish my memories with my English Teacher in higher secondary school, who at that time became the ‘ANCHOR’ for my life, saving my best friend from an emotional tornado. She became our philosopher and guide like a ray of light leading us towards the bright road in the dark tunnel. We will always be grateful to her. Such incidents in the school of life wherein the various teachers have played a significant role in teaching us different life subjects like values, common sense, respect, empathy and other qualities are engraved so strongly on my heart that it has transformed me completely. Thanks indeed would be a tiny word. Still, I want to thank all who have been my teacher, guide, and philosopher, supporting me in all life situations, especially when I needed a hand to hold me and save me from falling down. Thanks for Changing my World. ‘Happy Teachers Day!
A person’s personality defines whether the person at work is nice or not. Many times, it’s a person’s character, and at times it’s forced or influenced by a change overdue to work environment and pressure.
But I feel one should stay balanced at work and take things smartly. Whether it’s a workplace, pressure will always remain to achieve targets for your successor in life! So how to deal with them is important. Being friendly and generous genuinely always payback. But one should not be so lovely that people walk over you.
You can save yourself from getting damaged mentally by stating the correct and solid boundaries. With the experience, we can mention today that being nice is not bad. It is not harmful to be nice if you have the proper knowledge and experience about when to say ‘Yes’ and ‘NO’. If you’re a kind person, express it. It’s good to be sunshine as many might have a cloudy day but won’t describe it. Just be careful with the people who approach you only when needed and disrespect you. Being nice is an art. Don’t let someone steal it from you. Protect your ideas at your workplace as we live in a competitive world. So, it’s obvious to have competition all around. If someone assumes you are weak – prove them wrong. Create and maintain balance, to be genuinely kind but professional. Be open to accepting compliments or critics with grace, share your opinions with respect, be expressive with your ideas, learn to share constructive critics but communicate it well, and don’t be a nerd.
Develop yourself in both ways – socially and professionally in nature at the work environment. Let your company get benefit more through its relaxed and comfortable employees. When an employee is not expressive at work, somehow, they stop themselves from giving their thorough input. Don’t be too friendly with all your workmates, as then they can take you for granted.
A nice work environment could possibly respect other people’s religion, race and culture. Being diplomatic, in my opinion, is not ‘nice’. You cannot spy on your workers by being nice. One should not violate the privacy of an individual. Be ethical with your work. Cheating in any way won’t take you long to give success. You might achieve it for a period, but ultimately, the truth and facts would be out someday, and you would be ruined. This applies to both our professional as well as personal life.
Stay precise with your priorities, i.e., work for the company and not please your colleagues. Then, prepare a plan on how you can achieve it. ‘Focus on the bigger picture in life.
Stay strong: This difficult phase will help you grow. Once you have dealt with this situation successfully, you will feel stronger and more confident. Don’t let the office environment make you weak. Be a flexible listener. Be ready to give ears to others’ opinions, then share your peace of mind by staying rational. Avoid using mobile, maintain eye contact. Others should not feel ignored by you. Discourage gossip and gossipers. They just waste time for little entertainment. ‘AVOID’ is the remedy for them.
It’s up to us to stay nice at the workplace by visiting positive and maintaining our dignity.
This blog is especially dedicated to the books – My Books! A Book where I am the AUTHOR!
A few where I am CO-AUTHOR. Will be sharing my collection and contribution to the writing world. Also will keep on adding and updating for future references 🙂
This Book is a collection of various articles and works on non-fiction based on real-life experiences. Subjects like Happiness, Hobbies, Challenges, Perfection, Relationships and Technology are covered in this Book. Personally, I feel we all are full of emotions and sentiments. Knowledge is everywhere and can be enhanced more with experience. We can overcome all negativity and achieve anything through love, friendship, acceptance and hope. Destiny can be made and changed!
They taught us what pain is… Sacrifice is their Middle name… Yes, they are CALLED as Mothers.
Real stories of the mother about the journey of 9 months of having a baby. Released on Mother’s Day.
Motherhood generally describes a part of a woman’s life, but the word often carries a woman’s world in itself. You are frequently asked to get married as soon as you enter a valid age as a girl. Once you are married, the eternal question to plan a baby comes in the queue. Then this story usually starts from the good news. It goes through a long journey of patience for nine months and ends with a melodious cry. This is a story every woman has lived. A story every girl imagines about.
Use Name Lamiya Siraj in Reference.
A unique Anthology for Mother’s Day. Launched on 10th May 2020.
Mother – Yes, a small word but carry a lot of strength and power to hold things.
Father’s Day is just around the corner, and when it comes to Papa, we never do anything special for them. So let us break this stereotype this time and gift our father a book with content on HIM.
We all have superpowers that we are not wholly aware of. Moreover, we don’t even know the ways by which we can find out what ‘superpower’ we have unless there are such circumstances that reveal the powers.
If we talk about a simple magical feel or power we feel at any time in our lives, it can be the smallest or something big achieved. If we start our day positively and end on a thanking note, I am sure we will find more than one magical moment in one single day. It could be the smile of our parents, children, grandparents, friends or even a STRANGER!
If given a chance or asked a question about ‘Magical Power’ that one can have, we might get many excellent answers and ideas for it. As of now, our world is full of creative minds. Also, necessities play a vital role in this.
If the same question was asked to me on a personal level. My answer to it: If I had a magic power, it would be to READ & CONTROL people with my mind for betterment. I am an imaginative person, and I believe in the power of magic. It is, for me, confidence, willpower, and determination to achieve something you decide, desire, or aim for. Magic is simply the manipulation of energy in its various forms. I believe things can be invoked into being, my intentions and focus.
I am sure we all have some talent that must have saved us magically from difficult situations time and again. It might be communication skills or thinking smartly for a solution immediately. Magic can be tapped into when we learn how to see it, feel it, sense it, and interact.
I am happy to be nominated for AWESOME BLOGGER AWARD by Betul Erbasi. You can go and check her website for the advanced idea about writing. Since you are blogging, I am sure you all are interested in it. So, give it a try and check it out.
Betul’s questions for ME:
Whoever wants to claim it as usual 🙂
My questions for Nominees:
Can You think of a memory attached to the ‘SCENT’ in life? It could be of anything, but indeed close to the heart. I Am Sure you must have more than ONE!
Our brain stores memories through everything we touch, experience, taste, smell, see and many other things. ”SMELL” certainly is an element that helps stored memories flash out.
I personally feel the SCENT – SMELL is the most vital memory trigger. Memories and emotions are a potent combination in themselves.
It can be a smell of perfume associated with ‘SOMEONE’ we are close with or a strong SCENT of lilacs. It could be the scent of the OCEAN or the Mud of the first rain after summer. It could be the smell of coffee or tea made by mother, first in the morning. Bouquet of your favourite food, perfumes, flowers, books and their pages, and so much more…
It can be connected to an event that has had a strong emotional impact on us in the past. So when we smell that particular smell, it can trigger an emotional response. This can happen even years down the road.
It’s a fact that our sense of smell is automatically heavily connected to our memory system. However, few such memories have been engraved in me for a lifetime. The scent that evokes memories for me is Eucalyptus. It has always remained close to my heart. It’s my absolute favourite scent, full of nostalgia, love and simpler times. My childhood memories are attached to it, with many functions, celebrations and gatherings.
Eucalyptus was used by my mother in the mixer of freshly homemade ‘Mehndi’ with a few other ingredients. No celebrations have been completed without applying them on our hands to date. The aroma of mehndi stays for days on hands and months in hearts.
Also, the smell of the gentle monsoon breeze takes me to the afternoon sitting outside our house on a porch with my mother and friends.
Anytime I smell such a familiar smell in life, I try to take it in me as much as I can as a storage for the upcoming days. It makes me feel alive and energetic.
Do you share with me what is yours? Would love to read your share!
Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.”
– Andrew Carnegie
I am taking the opportunity to write this blog, as it strike to me while playing a simple game of ‘LUDO’, how important it is form a team and do team-work. This game taught me a lot, that I would be sharing here, which could be applied to various aspects in our life.
7 Mantra of Teamwork to follow in life.
Teamwork is the collaborative effort of a team to achieve a common goal or to complete a task in the most effective and efficient way.
Therefore, successful teamwork requires clearly defined roles and purpose along with the interaction between teammates.
Here are the 7 mantras to observe and take value from.
WHAT ARE THE SIX MOST IMPORTANT WORDS? – I ADMIT I MADE A MISTAKE
THE FIVE MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – YOU DID A GOOD JOB.
THE FOUR MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – WHAT IS YOUR OPINION.
THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – IF YOU PLEASE.
THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – THANK YOU.
THE ONE MOST IMPORTANT WORD – WE
THE LEAST IMPORTANT WORD – I
These are to be remembered throughout our life. These will help us to become better people and moreover better leaders.
You may be a great asset yourself, but It does not matter if you cannot lead your team. What’s the point if you cannot utilize your team’s skills and resources.
It will look natural “if it is natural”. Start imbibing these qualities in your life, accept your mistakes, appreciate other’s work, consider feedback’s, give respect where it is due, be humble and believe in TEAMWORK.
In order to have an effective team that can bring you the best in all, you need to involve all your team members in planning and share the workload. Each team member needs to actively participate and contributes towards the successful completion of the assignments. This is the only way to achieve an A+ result. To meet this, you need members who think like a team player. But you cannot simply force them to do so. The only way to achieve this is to inspire them with some successful methodologies. You need to have an understanding about each and every team member and have a clear cut idea about what will bring the best out of them.
In order to have an effective team, we need to have open conversations. This will help to maintain a low level of conflict and will also increase the cooperation of your team members. Few mistakes and few complaints will also make a team effective one. A group of members that will take the responsibility together is an asset for any team.
An effective team will have a clear role and clear-cut goal for their team members. Well defined plan and effective relationship are other qualities of an effective team. Constructive, clear and frank criticism is another quality of an effective team.
Create a team with members that are focused and responsible about their goal in order to walk through the road of grand success. Remember these great words from John Lennon ‘A dream that you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality’.
Teamwork in Business
Nowadays! Everyone wants to succeed in their businesses, want to deliver their best quality products, and excellent services, for delighting their clients. For that, a company’s teams are their backbone for it. Businesses need strong teams that work smartly, with excellence. Without the talented team, you’re just the walking dead without motor skills to go where you want to go.
“A founder’s individual characteristics are important but what’s more important are that person’s ability to bring a bigger and more experienced team with them,” the researchers say. “And the bigger that team the more likely the firm will succeed.”
What is a Team?
A team is any group of people who work together to achieve something to gain a shared outcome. It may be a sales team, or a call centre team, or a rugby team, or the executive team of a multinational corporation. The same simple rules for success apply to all of them.
It starts with the team leader. Every team needs a leader, a captain, a chief, and the success of that team is almost entirely dependent on what the team leader does – and doesn’t do. Great team ensures great teamwork, achieved by consistent application of some age-old basics:
Teamwork is defined as “A joint action by a group of people, in which each person subordinates his or her individual interests and opinions to the unit and efficiency of the group.”
This does not mean that the individual is no longer important; however, it does mean that effective and efficient teamwork goes beyond individual accomplishments.
The most effective teamwork is produced when all the individuals involved harmonize their contributions and work towards a common goal.
These are a few non-fiction life changes books recommended for a good read!
A list of fiction and a few others will be posted soon. Till then, enjoy this!
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” — Oprah Winfrey
Being grateful and spreading gratitude can do so much for yourself and others. We have every day to be thankful for, but we tend to forget to take the time to acknowledge what we have, who we have, and everything around us.
What does being “grateful” really mean? We keep hearing about it, but how come we still don’t practice it? Gratefulness is appreciative of what you have — whether they’re positive or negative experiences.
I have found that the best way to be grateful is to begin by noticing the small things and to acknowledge within yourself how thankful you are for something. For instance, when you get your morning cup of coffee or tea, smell the aroma and the nice feel of the cup in your hands. Then, give a thought of thanks.
When you go outside and see the clouds, think of thanks for the new day and what it will bring. Notice the pattern of the clouds and the play of light and shadow on your surroundings. Feel a thought of thanks for that. Feel all the blessing in life in terms of being alive and loved. Being healthy and not deficit for anything. For all that Almighty has provided us in terms of requirement and abundance. For nature and natural therapies.
Go through your day noticing and being thankful for the little things. Then, let your grateful nature flow out to others around you.
As you practice the small things, it becomes easier and easier to feel grateful for more and more things. Let that attitude spread out even further to your acquaintances and finally to the world at large.
Practice makes it perfect. Pretty soon, you will find that you are more grateful and happier.
The best way to be grateful is to appreciate everything the universe offers with an open heart.
Because the universe never makes mistakes, it always makes miracles.
I am one, you are too!!
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” –William Arthur Ward
Tell your co-worker how happy you are that the two of you are working together. Notice something about your spouse or child (or best friend) that you hadn’t noticed before, and let them know how grateful you are that they have that quality.
1. Share a specific example of something they did for you and how it made a difference in your life.
2. Do something little but thoughtful for them.
3. Give a hug.
4. Tell them you’re there if they have anything they want to talk about.
5. Give them something of yours that you think they would enjoy.
6. Invite them to do something you know they’ve always wanted to do.
7. Encourage them to try something you know they want to try.
8. Offer to do something you know they don’t enjoy doing.
9. Compliment them on a talent, skill, or strength you admire.
10. Look them straight in the eyes and say, “You make the world a better place.”
We all have something or someone to be grateful for. Invest in yourself by taking the time to be thankful throughout your days.
Self-control is the only thing that can help us focus on mastering almost anything in our life. When we have self-knowledge, we will be able to focus on the things that we want to be done.
One must take complete control of the mind by self-knowledge, and the body will follow along.
In other words, one must become the enslaver and not the slave of oneself.
First, it’s totally normal for our minds to reject new thoughts and ideas. It’s just part of the Law of Attraction learning curve. The idea is to focus on feeling good. When purposely creating through the Law of Attraction, you are trying to override your current programming to create a new belief about your desire. However, it usually takes many times to think of a new thought before it sounds logical to create a new idea. When your new opinion starts sounding more rational, and you can feel your new belief-forming in terms of how you think about it, you know you’re on the right track!
Focus is the result of contraction and attention while attempting on doing something. These attributes are more easily said than done. Practice makes it perfect!
“He’s commanded the one who can’t obey himself.”
One must pay attention to the reactions to things, how they process them internally, judge them. Do the best job you can in understanding your own responses and biases. Then work towards making those thoughts the most positive and productive.
Well, it really does take a moment in our life where we choose to go a little “crazy” and give ourselves the right to really BELIEVE that wildly unbelievable things can start to happen for us.
Our logical minds keep us from trying new things. Logic will protect us from risky unfamiliar endeavours. It protects us from the possibility of failure.
Here is the thing – put logic aside here. The reason will not help you manifest anything. It’s not logical for anyone who is not a millionaire already to become a millionaire. Statistically speaking, you must know that most business fails within a hand full of years. Most marriages fail. Most jobs end. Life ends, and you don’t even know when. So don’t go by logic or statistics.
Time to ‘BITE’ away this quarantine time!Let’s get creative…
Isolated! Everyone seems to be talking about isolation and isolation these days, isn’t it? But, like many, I have also been trying to seek out silver linings. It worked hard to understand isolation – not just in the dictionary but by experiencing it and living through it in today’s prevailing conditions.
Isolation, I feel, is passing negative energies among us by making us think we are left alone and locked down. Are We? We need to think about this the other way around! Prisoners in cells are isolated, as they can’t meet anyone. People suffering from dangerous–spreading diseases are isolated to prevent the spread! People in another country or place separated from their family and loved ones are isolated, wherein they don’t have anyone to talk to or have emotional and mental support.
Rather than this time taking a toll on us, we should make the best of this opportunity. Knowingly or unknowingly, prayers are answered. Asking ‘A break’ from almighty. So now, we have asked for it, and we have it!
We are homebound at this point, so we need to get balanced stimulation from basic activities at home. Just make sure that the push isn’t coming from one place, like a computer screen. Try not to think about missing your original life. Set a long-term goal.
Don’t think of self-isolation as losing your precious time. Enjoy the lack of social pressure. This is a great – opportunity to anchor yourself. You are not different; you are still you. It’s the lifestyle that’s changed.
I am sure houses are built by our ancestors or us through hard-earned money, giving sweat and blood. But have we spent quality time in it? No right? So why not now? Convert our home into the dream project of what we like to do! The living room can be our relaxing area or office area, which is in demand today. Work from home! Place a yoga mat and let the room be your workout place. Start spending more time with indoor plants; if you love nature, get more of them. Nourish them.
Expand your creativity by getting more experience in planting. If you are a cooking fan, explore the kitchen and become an upcoming master chef! If you were a person who loved painting but had forgotten it due to lack of a busy schedule, this is the time. Play with colours and let your soul get wet in the rain, creating a rainbow of your feeling pouring the colours back into life. The same goes for music, dancing, singing, crafting, knitting, writing and much more. Who and what is stopping you!
Once u start now and continue being interested and enjoying the creative activity, you keep practising and receiving feedback. ‘‘The higher-level creativity we see in quarantine times is vital. But do not let the existence of possible superstars stifle your own creativity.’’
With enough time, deliberate practice, focus and improvement, you may advance to expert level creativity. Sometimes, a creator’s contribution outlives them and continues to influence a field and be enjoyed or used for generations after death. You don’t have to be working for a cure or entertaining millions for your ideas to have value for yourself, your friends, or the more prolonged community. In addition, creative activities can help you reduce stress, handle trauma, and improve your mood – all of which are particularly helpful at the current moment.
It’s been already more than a month in confinement, I am far from happy. Every day I follow news graphics on how many recovered people, how many new infections, and how many succumbed. Covid-19 has helped me refocus my thoughts to the present moment.
Right now, I don’t have time to think about my career, future, plans. All I want right now is to keep my family alive and happy. So we can survive with little and essential things. Covid-19 is genuinely both a physical and mental challenge. I browse social media and see some people are happy to hear the birds again. I get it. It is nature’s revenge as humanity failed to protect it.
We humans are getting a lesson in humility. We are not just confined to a place, but it seems in time as well. I have relearned the importance of letting go in the midst of all this.
Thinking aloud as of present situation is demanding that distance get us distant with all our relations during this pandemic when we all are quarantine? This tricky situation in all of our lives is what we are facing: does distance between two persons make them distant? Well, answers to this question vary based on personal experience and how they handle their relationship. The distance cannot be only in a romantic relationship. Let me make myself clear here! It can be between friends, siblings, parents, mother-daughter, teacher-students, boss-employees and all those who you can think of right now. Any relation that makes your soul happy. Makes your day brighter. Keeps you going for the day, week, month, year and life!
The first thing we need to know; is it’s gonna be hard.
Not seeing their smile or feeling them will be challenging, and you’ll get a sense of loneliness. But, if you’re lucky, so will be they. It means that both of you feel the same feeling that you want each other. So, keep up with them, ask about how their day was, and be affectionate, keeping your expectations at bay. You can get to know them more by calling on the phone, texting each other, and/or video calls, all perfect ways to maintain a strong relationship.
You’ll have to know that not many people can do a long-distance relationship because of the fact that they can’t see each other. But, if you can have a strong connection from a long-distance, you’ll find a love better than any relationship you can have with a person near you because once you finally see them in real life, the outcome is much better.
If you believe that you found the right person, are smart with your decision and can maintain loyalty to this person, then absolutely go for it.
Let’s free ourselves from the boundaries we have set. Break the walls. Communicate and spread the love by expressing our feelings. We never know ‘Kal ho na ho’ (today is all we have)!
Everyone is facing the period of quarantine going on right now! Living through it, everyone goes through their shares of ups and downs. So in a way, the only solution by which ‘WE’ can save ourselves and everyone around is ‘STAY HOME, STAY SAFE’.
More than a month with the pandemic has made me see the things I knew in a brand new way again! I have started observing, thinking and re-thinking. I am sure most of us are doing the same!
Let’s refresh it and start living it as altogether as something NEW learned!
‘‘Live life in such a way that life falls in LOVE with YOU!
Check out my poem on SCRIBE magazine for ‘Mother’s Day.
Pls hit the like button if you like it 😊❤️🙏🏻
“Sleepless nights to give you peaceful sleep.”
“Wrinkles on her face proves the struggle for your grace.”
“You are her everything. She never had personal space.”
“Your happiness makes her day bright!”
The only thing she longs, for now, is to have you in her sight.”
“You are the reason for the smile on her lips.
Keeping you first, however, others may crib.”
“With her life’s struggle, to make you grow she has gone all weak and low,
So, in your youth now, don’t complain when her age had made her ‘Slow’.”
“You make her sit alone on chair by wind chap sound,
When winds blow for her End and prepares to go.”
“She made you grow big,
But now all you do is make her wait.”
“Don’t you think this woman is above everything?”
“If you are a follower, become a devotee to this woman who dedicated her all life,
For you and your happiness.”
‘Life is a roller coaster ride.’ It’s full of ups and downs. We indeed have many moments in life where we celebrate and feel blessed. But sometimes, life puts us in a situation where everything seems to fall apart. We try hard, but the problem doesn’t improve. We try to seek help from others, but either no one come to help, or their support doesn’t make a difference. In this situation, we feel totally helpless. This is a very critical situation. This is the situation that makes the difference. The difference between a ‘common man’ and a ‘great man’.
Generally, in such a situation, maximum people lose their hope. Some even commit suicide. Some feel it’s their destiny, and nothing can be improved, and they leave everything on fate and give up trying to improve the situation.
It’s not that I have not faced such a trapped situation in my life. A couple of times, I have felt devasted! Especially when my father left us for his journey hereafter! He was suffering from a chronic disease. And I have witnessed him suffer for more than a year. His last 3 months were Pathetic were we all were helpless. It was difficult to see my mother in that situation more than him. To survive with a bedridden person with the transferable disease when she suffers from chronic diseases and is vulnerable. I truly felt deficient at that time in my life. Yet, I saw my mother kept trying. She maximized her effort, going out of her limitations. She breached her comfort zone and went beyond her boundaries.
This was the time in my life when I needed to keep patience. Had to be optimistic that everything would improve. WE needed to be strong. We should keep believing in ourselves and our capabilities. In such situations in life, we need to show extreme desire to live.
I learned here that when you feel helpless, 1st thing that you need to remember is that this situation is not permanent. It is temporary, and it will change. One should never forget this and keep a positive mindset. You need to try hard to improve the situation even when your efforts are making no difference. You need to think beyond your current situations. Make short-term and long-term goals to beat the severity of situations. Keep yourself motivated and inspired.
The worst situation is not permanent. Things will start improving after some time and boost your courage and hope. A day will come when you will find yourself out of such a situation. Every situation can be solved, even from the lowest place in the world.
Feeling low and negative can be an outcome of a situation when one must have felt unsatisfied with life for own reasons. For example, it might be a lack of relationship with a partner, problems at home, or unhappiness with the current job. But, to be honest, it doesn’t matter on the level of taking away life.
Our lives are concise, sometimes very exhausting, it is frustrating to feel like you live at the wrong place and the wrong time, like nothing in the world can make it feel better.
I felt it too…
I started to do some meditation. It gave me an excellent perspective to look outside of my negative feelings and, at times, ego. Then, I began with gym and exercising – sports because when the body feels good, the soul goes with it automatically.
The most important thing I did was create an alternative world of my own, inside my head, that no one can take away from me, where no one judges me, where there are no boundaries. It made my dreams possible, made me feel close than ever. I started writing my journal. Finally, I had something to look up to, something to dream about, a passion that could make me awake all night just of the excitement of doing it to the following day.
‘Love yourself, everyone is unique and if you don’t think that about yourself then you don’t see yourself for who you really are’!
‘Change is constant.’
Attempting for that change is a matter of choice in something being. The journey of self-discovery begins with acceptance.
‘‘Everyone wants to think out the box, but no one dares to stand apart from crowd.’’
Believe in time. It has the power one could ever imagine!
Refer to the above link! Not just a magazine but feed for the soul! Never cease to inspire new things on various topics.
Enlightenment is an aspect of our potential. We live in an expansive universe, and everything is energy. We are energy and have vast potential. Enlightenment is our natural state of being AND a human choice. The power of our own belief keeps us either in limitation or frees us to live the truth. Earth is a school, and we are here to realize who and what we indeed are.
You cannot be trained to grow from a baby into an adult. The body needn’t be taught. The mind naturally develops and the emotions as well. Well, of course, we must learn the behaviour and so on. What I mean is that it is a natural progression to do so. Our inherent blueprint is set into motion, and the intelligence within us is navigated to that fulfilment.
However, what control we have is that of choosing what we perceive as truth from illusion. We choose what information is acceptable to our idea of reality. This information we choose determines how quickly or how slowly we continue our natural growth. We have the choice to be our own person, claim self-authority, and be a leader of our life, not a follower of others. The sooner we learn that others don’t have the answers for us, the sooner we will develop the courage to set out upon our own path to awakening.
Because we are beings with a sentient sense of self, with will and imagination. We have the dignity of choice. We have tremendous potential. We must choose that potential and give up limitation, stagnant concepts of being, and negativity. We must learn about the power of the mind to co-create our reality. We must keep an open mind and heart to embrace our more profound potential. We cannot be more influenced by what others say in their lives than by what our heart tells us in our own lives.
We can train our own minds to have healthy patterns of self-respect, self-worth, and a positive outlook in life. In addition, there are many things we can do to further our awakening into a more expansive sense of self.
We are all given a grand prize. That prize is fully developed, fully awakened and fully intact right here and now. It belongs to each of us, but we must find our way to it. That is our challenge. It has no need to prove itself to us. We have the challenge to understand a being so great that it can find it.
Experiences in life are our teachers. No time is wasted or lost. We learn something at every moment. We know how to break out of our spell of limitation. We must develop belief in ourselves to begin. That is how we feed the inner hero. Give this hero more and more food and nourishment of confidence and passion.
It is, in the beginning, to seek answers within that we quicken our progress. Within is the doorway to our prize. It is a significant, gorgeous, pure gold frequency of light. It is forever open. It was available when you were born before you were born and all the days of your life. Ours is a destiny of realizing our immense potential via human choice. This is the great gift our humanity lays at our feet.
Thinking about ”light,” the things that generally cross our mind are Sun, Moon, Stars, Chandelier, Lamps, Candles, and so much more…
Talking about light in our lives another way round takes us deep meditation. The light that has enlightened our soul. The light that can make us feel light heartened and carefree. Gives us positivity and fill us up with energy.
Everyone should search for the light that has enlightened their souls! At the time of distress am sure everyone must have that someone! Isn’t it? Take a sit back and think about it and be thankful. It can be your spiritual connection with God making it more robust. A friend in whom you can confide. Your sibling is your best strength. Parents most of the time. Or it can be someone special who enter your life, right at that time, to hold you and get you out of the tsunami saving your life!
I don’t want to be the one who doesn’t value a thing unless I don’t have it. I want to appreciate even the tiniest blessing in my life before it’s too late. Live, love and smile to enjoy every moment of life. Every moment that passes can be a great opportunity. Always ‘Thank’ someone who is your light in calamity as you might be the only one to do it.
Today I want to take this opportunity to thank such ‘LIGHTS’ of my life who have been my navigator to help me proceed with my life turning it a successful one!
Pairs! I was thinking aloud by repeating the word teams in my mind, and suddenly my slothful daughter from the couch in front of me – thanks to quarantine, all of a sudden screamed ‘Mamma do you know how many pairs we have in our living room’?
Raising my head from my laptop with surprise, I asked her What? She, utterly bored in the afternoon, got up and started explaining to me in the most confident manner like – have conquered the highest peak of Mount Everest in replying to me back. See Mamma, we have
With this now, she started joking around after some serious talk that also we have two doors, two windows, two chairs and much more… Innocently, she has touched the topic with essence to think over for all of us. I had no choice left but to agree with her. We both then laughed our hearts out! She filled me up with pride about her observations skills. Staying more than a decade in the same house, I never thought this way and today, when I wanted a write-up on Pairs, she not only saved me but gave me my article!
But this definitely left me with deep thinking about how important Pairs are! Was this a coincident or mistakenly coincidence that happened with me! Is this indicating me further to think of for my personality, that how important it is to have a pair – a Soulmate! Now, partner, I don’t only mean married couples! No! It could be anything or any relation. Friends, siblings, couples, parents, and so much more! We are often in pairs with someone for emotional ground and others for spiritual.
In reality, on a border scale, aren’t we all pair up with something or other in our lives. Emotionally, spiritually and in many different ways, we depend on a partner! To make us feel complete, confident, the reason to be happy, look forward to and much more…
The word “Life” is as deep as it gets. Life is a tough place to tackle, and conquering all the battles on your own is a big challenge. However, given that we are human, it follows that “doing life” is made more accessible if it is “Shared” & “Paired”.
We expect life to be a continuous journey towards perfection when life is full of hoops, jumps, and randomness. But, unfortunately, things don’t always go the way we want them to. Random events frequently occur in our lives, and it is in our best interest to become aware of how unexpected life really is.
I stopped blaming other people for being the cause of my unhappiness.
It isn’t easy to stop, and it sure requires a lot of honesty and courage.
It is always easier to blame someone else for throwing away some responsibility but to grow, you have to accept the consequences of your acts.
You have to be determined and perseverant to fix your flaws, but when you do succeed – you, and only you are the source of your triumph – and at this moment, you can be infinitely proud of yourself.
By changing this habit, you will feel that you can change everything in your life – as long as it is something you can actually control.
Expecting. I quit it.
Expectations are nice to have. But some expectations are dangerous, like cancer.
Living with guilt and regret.
I stopped feeling guilty about the past.
Having guilt is like having a 100-pound weight on your back holding you down. You are not able to move. You feel like you are walking through mud up to your knees.
I am not even close to being perfect, so I have done things in the past that I am not proud of. For years I was filled with guilt and shame because of my decisions.
I didn’t make mistakes. I made conscious decisions even though they were the wrong decisions. Unfortunately, too many people misuse the word error to blame others and not take responsibility.
I believe in personal development, so I constantly become the best version of myself. In addition, I read and listen to books to improve my mindset regularly.
This transformed my whole life.
This way, we can then learn how to prepare for these events and realize that eventually, maybe, hopefully, life will balance itself out again while learning a few things about ourselves along the way.
Published with: Times of India – Reader’s Blog
Hands – brings a lot of emotions and confidence when I think about them. Today I am holding a pen, able to share my thoughts. Credit goes to my hands. My hands are helping me to create something beautiful.
Hands authenticate our destiny by our signature or thumb impressions.
Many times in my life, I have been fortunate enough to give hope, encouragement or gentle touch/pat whenever required. Expressing my love, joy and happiness by embracing, hugging and much more, and receiving back in return was possible only through hands. I remember the ‘Special Hands’ in my life, who have helped me in distress by pulling me out from the pit and holding on to me!
Today, I take this opportunity to thanks to the hands that were there to hold us during toddler days.
Through ”Hands” by touching someone gently can convey so many things:
So much can be done through simple touch with hands!
It’s a blessing to have someone in life who loves you dearly and can go out of the way to express it and make you feel special. When it comes to cooking, I love getting pampered by getting a platter ready for myself and being served. I clearly state that ‘YES’ I am not a cooking fan. I do it out of compulsion, yet it always turns out to be good – now can say by the grace of GOD or hard luck!
The ability to quickly make something with desire by multitasking and stirring leftover and available resources is the secret ingredient of a delicious recipe. This is a talent that comes from experience.
Yes, we have many signature dishes. Most of them are from families, and a few we discovered :-). On NEW YEAR this year, my ‘HUSBAND’ had made a ‘DESI PIZZA’ precisely homemade chappati for me. So started this year on a good note with lots of good wishes, positivity and happiness. Coming back to his cooking. Yes, he is a foodie person and loves to cook and eat! I love Pizzas and sandwiches made by him.
I have witnessed life on the streets watching from my balcony, which has wholly gone quiet now due to Covid19. ‘Stay Home, Stay Safe’ is the motto going on across the globe. Everyone has started participating in this activity, understanding the seriousness of the present condition.
I recall the days when we have to spend time here. Family talking a walk. My daughter is cycling with her friends. Our family friends gathered and chit-chatted with playing a few games. A group of ladies sitting and chatting with munching. Children playing football and badminton. A street full of life and now craving for life!
I pray this calamity comes to an END, and we get our life – our routines back!
Memories can make their way in our life, in the present, in many ways. Am Sure songs are one such mediator out of many which make us travel through time. Music has always been unique in my life, connecting me with my soul.
A difficult task which song to pick and which to leave! But I will like to share two of my favourite pieces here:
1. My heart will go on… Movie Titanic. Artist by Celine Dion.
During my college days, this movie and song were released and had become the sensation in that era. I still remember it clearly! Takes me back to my youth. I believe age is just a number, and we will always be young by heart.
2. Stand by me… Album Stand by me. Artist: Skylar Grey
This used to be my Workout Song in Gym while doing Zumba. A lot of promises and memories are attached! Hard Lesson learned. In the end, it’s only you, yourself for yourself. The bitter truth of life. Learn to be independent and don’t get attached.
The most memorable trip I had was going to the Himalayas for a 21-day introductory mountaineering course at Nehru Institute of Mountaineering way back in 1996. This trip wouldn’t have been possible without my elder sister – my lifeline being on my side. All credits go to her.
We did river rafting, mountain climbing, hiking, camping, and various other activities like cooking with limited resources during the course. To date, I am so fascinated with that trip that I feel like I just have come from it last week, though it’s been 22 years now. Memories are so engraved in mind and heart. That was my first trip without my parents or relatives.
I made so many friends from different places in India later who all became my pen friends. Even today, when I close my eyes, I can feel the cool breeze of mountains. The melodious sound of a river flowing. Various waterfalls. Sunrises and sunsets are entirely different in the Himalayan mountain ranges. What more could one ask.
My secret wish is to go on a hiking and mountaineering course with my 10-year old daughter someday.
Like a test Match – Days are Passing.
The Name of the test match is 20-20
Click on the above link to read the full article in ‘cafes and cities Magazine’.
Q. Have you ever presented a ‘Fake’ compliment back in response to someone complimenting you?
If we start flattering positively, false flattery can sometimes make others happy. Often, people give fake responses while receiving a compliment to not sound rude. Compliments may be affected, but the love or efforts of a person who gave wouldn’t be. It’s more important to make someone feel good about themselves, and that could be a more genuine reason for giving compliments.
World today needs more kindness than truth. If you know someone who is having a tough day and struggling, I don't see any harm in giving compliments.
World today needs more kindness than truth. If you know someone with a hard day and struggling, I don’t see any harm in giving compliments. I would do that whole day to make someone feel good. People these days are more prone to social media to run away from reality, seeking happiness on social media platforms to make themselves feel better. So, if a fake compliment can make someone happier for a little while also, why not! People crave more ‘likes’ on social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram. They thrive and believe in this count, though they must have not met them personally! They think they are judged based on the comments and likes of the photo and stories they put up.
But at the same time, I feel being fake can also be manipulative. In business, and especially building networks, should always lead with values and truth. Because with fake flattering, false value are delivered, basically being manipulated and it always gets catches. Any long-term relationship cannot be built on playing fake I feel. Why to create a bad impression for our self. Highly not recommended. It is very important to cultivate the quality of being natural.
Fake compliments at times are given to the boss or in the working environment on a lighter note to build relationships. There is nothing wrong with it. Till it is safe and not harming anyone’s sentiments and emotions.
People at times suffer from self-love, so a chief cure for it is the practice of love for others and can this can be done through positive flattering.
We get confused about whether to stay real at times or do flattery. Flattery might give the other person a sense of inferiority complex. But by talking to the other person, if you can eliminate the cause and provide some happiness with confidence, then why not! Go for it.
It has been a trend followed by almost everyone to talk about ‘Women’ on women’s day and write beautiful poems, articles, anecdotes, stories, thoughts and views. But why limit this to one particular day?
I didn’t take this opportunity to write anything as I was busy reading what others have written and enjoying it.
By the end of the day, I was asked about my write-up by a good friend on which another friend shared a beautiful article stating I have one! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Praising the received one, still, the question was live ‘where is Lamiya’s Article’? Hasn’t she written anything? I was elated by the simple fact that my write-up was being awaited!
Now, this really caught me! I should pen down having an ‘ocean of thoughts’ inside me. Not just for a day for women but entirely. This erupted my thinking by concluding, ‘Never assume that people won’t notice you. Every minor thing you do will be noticed by someone. That’s where assumptions and opinions are formed. So always be careful of everything you do.’
Coming back to International Women’s Day, a lot is said and heard. It’s been proven across the globe the success of women through their own hard work and determination. Nations worldwide are making sustainable efforts to achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls to fulfil their commitments. Women have started playing an important role as key partners in building the future. Every single woman has a choice to live life on her own terms and conditions. However, women need more education and awareness to have faith and unleash the power within.
When you, as a woman, are in a position of strength or influence, use it to better someone’s life. Educate people, spread the knowledge. Everything is possible because we, as humans, are gifted with a beautiful heart and rational brain to make things happen. In addition, women are endowed with multitasking capabilities with no boundaries to succeed.
Things have improved a lot in a couple of decades. Previously, people were driven by ideologies, not facts. Women were not empowered, but now, they are considered for their talents and achievements.
The best way to develop the confidence and expertise to face challenges is ‘Believe in yourself, your dreams, mastering your skills, working hard, executing your plans and achieving your goals, this are the best ways to develop your confidence and expertise to face challenges.’
‘Believe in yourself and own your success’’.
Women inspire us, care for us, make our lives better, tolerate us, and love us no matter what. So let’s celebrate them and not just this random date or day but for every day.
‘‘Celebrate them not just on Women Day but whenever possible.’’
A lot us don’t tend to make ourselves feel better whenever we go through something. we always place our happiness and our strength in other people and then end up getting hurt when the person is not available or just doesn’t care enough.And when this happens, we fall into a deep void of darkness and struggle on how to climb that mountain of fears and self-doubt.
This explanation after the reading the book as an review has caught my attention and made placed in my heart!
The description couldn’t have been better for the book than narrating this: ‘ The contents start with the topic of ‘Happiness’ and End with her views on ‘Technology’. Throughout the book, she stands with a side of kindness and love and how it can change our lives even if we don’t believe it. From making time for ourselves in this monotonous world to needing equality between men and women, she perfectly stood to her point of helping others understand and how our mentality about a situation can help resolve the problems we are facing.
The author ends the book by saying that every one of us is filled with emotions and if the book is enjoyed even by one person, her job here is done.And I would like to let the author know that I enjoyed and admired this book very much while I was reading and even after I finished reading it.
Thank you again ‘Café and Cities Magazine, for your generosity in reading the book and publishing the reviews. And my thanks here would be incomplete without thanking Ashbiha Fathima. Glad to have you as my satisfied reader.
NE8x® I Author of the Year Nominee
ONLINE LITERATURE FEST 2020
Recognising Author Lamiya Siraj for her esteemed book: ‘ One step ahead.’
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Pls, give your ratings and comments on the above link. Thank you in advance.
create I innovate I inspire
Lamiya is an Author, Freelance Writer, Blogger, Ex Banker. She grew up in Ahmedabad and later got married and settled in Baroda for 3 years and then Abu Dhabi, UAE
ABOUT THE BOOK:
One step ahead
This book is a collection of various articles and works on non-fiction based on real-life experiences. Subjects like Happiness, Hobbies, Challenges, Perfection, Relationships and Technology are covered in this book. Personally, we are full of emotions and sentiments. However, knowledge is everywhere and can be enhanced more with experience. We can overcome
negativity and achieve everything through love, friendship, acceptance and hope. Destiny can be made and changed!
Applications for NE8x® LitFest 2020 are now open! Authors from all literary domains can apply at: https://ne8x.in/litfest2020/
Pratilipi I InkQuills Publishing House I T beverages I Rise Pen Industries I Shanti Publishers I Penmyth
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create I innovate I inspire
Read the full Article – Story with the link above.
This year on my birthday, I have reached a milestone number. As people say – life starts with this number. Few express it as half-life already lived! Before a few years, I had seen a wallpaper somewhere stating, ‘Naughty at 40’. Now today, this has hit me and left me thinking. Something deep inside me tells me I should celebrate! Celebrate all the days now leading to the birthday and the days after that.
Remembering birthdays when I was growing up were special. I still remember my mother lovingly and still today taking the photo out of my 1st birthday and sharing the memories for the day. Print yes before four decades used to be a luxury. My memory attached for my birthday is the dairy milk chocolate I used to get 1st thing in the morning. I was excited right before my birthday approached, waiting for it. That used to be the feast for me.
With passing years, as I grew up, I remember in kinder garden my mother had dressed me like a princess, making me wear a ‘pink lenga’ and ‘dupatta’. I even had got privilege to distribute toffees to all my classmates. That day I truly felt like a princess.
When I was a teenager, birthdays meant for me was staring at greeting cards. Receiving cards and letters with lots of poetic words and lovely messages. Wearing a new dress, flaunting in between families and friends for the whole day along with my favourite food made by my mother, especially for me, was worth waiting for. I laugh now, remembering how I used to count my treasured greeting cards compared with the current year to know whether I have received more than the previous year or not! These cards had something fascinating about them. My heart used to get very elated while reading them and flipping them repeatedly.
Time flew by, and with adulthood came lots of responsibilities and complications. I agree I was too busy at times to celebrate. And before I could realise it, I was busy planning and celebrating the birthdays of spouses and extended family members. Then came motherhood, which simply meant birthday celebrations for my little one and no more celebrations for myself. As a new mother, I remember that all I wanted as a gift was a good night’s sleep. Nothing else mattered to me.
As my baby started to grow as a bit of a champ, again, birthdays began to shape into surprise gifts. Before my birthday whole week, she did all the messy things with paints and colours, trying to make a surprise card managing to hide it from me. She succeeded in getting life back in me. Last year, my bedside was covered with handmade lovely cards and messages with tag lines when I opened my eyes on my birthday. She must have shared the excitement with her friends in class, and they joined hands with her sharing the joy for her mamma’s birthday!
Today something inside me urges me to pause. For the last few years, I have been ungrateful and stubborn for not celebrating my birthday due to unrealistic and unreasonable reasons. Today its been more than four decades since I added a number to the population on this planet earth. Yes, I have laughed, cried, tormented over numerous things. I agree. I don’t like many episodes that have occurred in my life. But yes, as we know, nobody’s life is perfect, and I have given a significant time of my life to understand this simple truth of my life.
With my life’s experience now, I understand the value of time in this world. Life is a gift. God is great! We are blessed with miracles all around us in the form of the sea, rivers, nature, mountains, trees, sunrise, sunsets, rains, flowers, birds and much more. I am grateful for all those times when I have been saved from unpleasant incidents in my life. I appreciate my presence on this earth. Am sure there is a meaning of me being on this earth and alive.
I may not know how many more years I would be blessed to see this miracle of the almighty, but for now, I want to cheer for all the good and bad times I have had so far.
There’s one thing I am pretty sure of now when it comes to my perception of myself is I am unique. Now by this belief, I will find my true fulfilment and happiness. Fostering a good, healthy sense of self-acceptance is an essential basis for a happy life.
– Holding onto a grudge: Slow poisoning.
Living a healthy life starts with a healthy mind. It’s not easy to control our minds, especially when hurt or someone has wronged us. When we try to forget something or someone, being upset is natural. People tell you to divert your mind and thoughts, but that is easier said than done.
Get yourself busy, go for a walk, read a book, listen to music, watch a movie, or go to a friend or someone you trust and talk to them about your feelings. But in reality, when our mind is angry, and our heart is hurt, we will not be at peace. And nothing will work. Different individuals have different ways of dealing with themselves. My way may not be the way for others, and so is vice-a-versa. If you think there’s something wrong, go to a professional.
I deal with my feelings when I am feeling down is to playing with my daughter. I find comfort in my slight angle by playing and talking to her. I get assured that happiness lies in moments and not unmaterialistic things. But if the matter is serious, I confide with someone I trust.
A hot water bath and soothing music also help me reduce my anxiety. Last but not least, I have a habit of ‘pen it down. By doing so, the negativity is out from my system and once done, I tear it off and throw it into the garbage.
There are various ways to deal with this situation and for grudges not making a permanent home. If two people are mature, they should resolve an argument by talking it out. They should meet each other, speak clearly about the issue and try to fix it.
Since the relationship is meaningful, negative emotions and grudges, which are holding you and can weigh you down, compile into a more significant issue, leading further to bitterness, destruction, anger, or even depression. Because if not done this way. Then adverse effects are seen more on the person holding the grudges than on the one you have. This can only cause a high level of stress and self-destruction.
Why should we self-invite the health issues for ourselves? Try to get it fixed. If it can’t set, let it go. Holding on to a grudge hurts. A grudge makes you a prisoner in your own virtual prison cell. Break free and go enjoy life.
Holding a grudge against someone can hardly hurt them. Even if it does, the effect is much on you than on them. People who hold grudges get angry and fight a battle inside. Every little thing infuriates them because their heart is not free.
There’s nothing wrong with getting offended, but one should not make the mistake of taking things too far. Hold it for one more minute or simply walk away from the scene. Learn from it, and don’t let yourself become a victim of it again. You must understand and accept that you’ll always be hurt by people in this world. Grudges stop your progress in life. Forgive even if the other person is not ready to make up. God would take over and touch their heart for your sake.
Friendship is a relationship where a person has the freedom to choose another person they enjoy spending time with. Most of the time, it’s our heart finding peace and comfort with this person or with these people. Friendship is the home for every wandering soul which is lost.
When you are friends with a person, you can tell them everything without the fear of being judged. Friendship can be cultivated with time and understanding. Some companies are strong and can withstand the test of time and roll like dice when life throws them a curveball. Good friends will give you the space you want when you need it and love you more when you are broken or lack direction.
‘‘When you meet someone and become friends, still not very close but are good friends, your heart starts feeling happy, contemplate and at peace’’ – means you have found the greatest blessing of the universe in the form of ‘friendship’ for yourself.
We love to be surrounded by friends who shower their unconditional love, affection and admiration. No matter how independent, bold, empowered or economically secure we may be, we all seek to bond with other people deep in our hearts. We all seek that ‘anchor’ in our lives. Relationships with our friends make us strong, grow, enrich, evolve and make happy.
In friendship, you don’t have high hopes, and expectations like, for that matter, in any other relationship. It’s when we expect more from others than what we expect from ourselves, our relationships are not going to be nearly as enduring as we might hope.
No one can make promises to bring perfection to a relationship. We need to be willing to accept and forgive people for their mistakes. It’s equally important to acknowledge when we make mistakes so that it’s easier for a friend to forgive and move forward in friendship, and vice-a-versa.
It is also essential to respect other people’s boundaries and their stories. Some people are challenging to get close to and take time to open up. Don’t push them away.
Good friends can acknowledge that everyone is human and don’t judge you for your choices. If you can’t respect your friend’s choices or decisions, which can be different from what you feel is ‘best’, then try to explain and sort it out, else you need to exit from the relationship. It’s not necessary or compulsory for friends to ‘like’ or ‘approve’ their friend’s choices, but good friends accept their friend’s options no matter what. Friendship is the most complicated relationship to maintain.
Maintaining the dignity of friendship in its purest and devoted form is not everyone’s cup of tea. However, I genuinely admire those who can keep their company till the end of their lives, moreover, in its real form without manipulating name or relation to keep it safe.
I wouldn’t have survived if I had NO ONE to confide in. It’s a feeling of stability – to know that I have someone to fall back on in trouble, someone who understands.
Friendship is a two-way street and requires giving and receiving. sOften, you are friends with someone for years and decades but don’t find that comfort, understanding, and peace. On the other hand, it may happen that you just became friends with someone, starting to know a stranger, still feels that’s it’s a lifetime friendship – like you have been knowing each other forever. And then such new friendship goes year long, leaving a mark to all – to understand the depth of lifetime friendship.
Talking to strangers can make you happy.
Our very lives depend on the ethics of strangers, and most of us are always strangers to other people.
– Bill Moyers
Have we become strangers in this world of technology and gadgets? But don’t we get ample time to be online and stay connected with the virtual world through the internet? Does that mean we have no time for the real world?
When was the last time we observed ourselves? When was the last time you smiled at a stranger or received a smile in return? I am sure this is a simple question yet difficult one to answer as most of the time, we have our heads bow down, glued to our mobile screens.
When we were young, my parents would tell us, ‘Don’t talk to strangers! And that worked well for us. Our minds were young, which means we were not old enough to be discerning. We were not able to decide if a stranger was good or bad. But as we grew, the situation changed. We are not able to comprehend what is good and evil.
The importance, rather the comfort of the human touch, seems to vanish day by day. People have, in fact, started to feel safe by not connecting with the real world. Instead, they feel safe and secure being away from all the unnecessary fuss and emotional distractions. But have we felt the need to talk to strangers? Haven’t we thought about the benefits we can get out of talking to strangers?
Anything is possible in life. A stranger you meet can become your lifeline with the passing years. In the same vein, the person most close to you can become a stranger in a matter of seconds. Life has become unpredictable. Surprisingly, you might meet someone again at the crossroad of life, and you might again continue the beautiful journey of your life together. The never-ending road of life will take you towards your destination of happiness and fill you up with all confidence and courage required to face any adversities and difficulties.
It’s time we changed our attitude towards strangers. Yes, we live in dangerous times, but not all strangers we meet are hazardous. Of course, we need to be suspicious, but we should also be trusting. The whole world is not our enemy.
Let’s start by changing ourselves. Each individual can connect with people, allowing us the human experiences that are enriching experiences. From the morning, we get numerous chances to meet and greet strangers. It could be a taxi driver, a salesperson at a mall, fellow passengers at airports, lounges, railway stations and the bus stand. Of course, interaction depends on people’s personalities. It might be challenging to talk to strangers if you are an introvert. At the same time, if the other person is an extrovert, communication becomes quicker. Such communications are also a great way to socialise and build networks. It is also interesting to see the world through another person’s eyes.
The world out there is for us to explore. So, try to see it from a different perspective. Talking to strangers and discussing various topics helps boost our confidence and makes us feel self-motivated. It also helps improve our communication skills. Yes, the world is full of strangers, which makes it so interesting.
As a seven-year-old, it felt strange to be ignored by his own father, even though he had a high fever and had met with a domestic accident. Moreover, his mother had gone out of work, leaving him home to be cared for by his father. Was it that he was an unexpected child because he was subjected to such bitterness? Or was it because his father was married to a well-educated woman, himself being uneducated. The discrepancy, which is still prevalent in many areas of Indian society, is best exemplified by his own family, house and life.
That day, as father was busy doing his not-so-important stuff in the house, he went and was pulling his pants for attention when the father pushed him back in anger, and that’s when he fell down and hit the sharp corner of the bed. The right side of his forehead, along with his ear, felt spasms of agony as it hit the sharp edge of the bed.
He felt tears of pain and anger roll down his innocent cheeks. His father looked back to see what happened and felt further irritated. Just then, his mother returned home to face his wrath. Yet again, she was accused of being highly educated and leaving the house for work and livelihood, blamed as ‘good-for-nothing’. Domestic violence was an everyday business that he was forced to witness.
He would see his mother cook meal for his father and the whole family despite all this. Do chores without complaining. Get new clothes for him. And did everything shouldered all responsibilities as his mother was the family’s sole bread earner. But over the years, his mother too accumulated some amount of bitterness within her which she vented through her love for ‘shayaris’ and poetry. So he also started imagining all fathers as shrews!
As the years passed, his father became bedridden due to his prolonged disease. He needed love and care. He wondered, “will ‘karma’ play its role?” But all he saw was his mother taking utmost care of his father. How could she? Was it because of her upbringing and society’s demands? Or out of respect for the relationship she was into for the last 40 years? He wasn’t convinced. After all, he was just entering the roller-coaster ride of his life.
Then came a day when he was undergoing training for his new job and had to put together a project about the life of elderly people living in an old-age home. The very topic made him sick to the stomach. He started to wonder why his own father couldn’t be sent to a house like this as he had demanded it so many times. The debate during the training about looking after the elderly in families made him argue with his colleagues to the point of being rude. All present there, along with supervisors, were surprised to see that he harboured so much anger within him.
He and his colleagues finally decided and reached the old-age home, an old building with some yellowish-brown shuttered windows. He sat stubbornly on a bench in the garden, hell-bent on not doing anything constructive. That’s when he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder. He looked up and saw an old man beaming at him in a plain white kurta. His name was ‘Mr Roger’, who invited him to his room and shared a packet of biscuits over a hot cup of ginger tea that he made.
Mr Roger’s maturity with kindness attracted him, and he gushed about his father. The old man assured him that all fatherly figures aren’t the same, and probably his father had reasons for such ill-filled actions. After that day, till training continued, he went back to visit Mr Roger several times. Through his conversations with Mr Roger, the old man provided him with the understanding and closure that he needed to forgive his father and let go of his anger.
Thereon he would sit beside his ill father, take his bony hands in his and speak to him. He would tell him how he yearned for him to talk or respond or smile. But, of course, he doesn’t know if he ever heard him. But a while later, he passed away and with him passed his anger-ridden self!
And he found solace in forgiving!
I learnt what patience means when I got to know her. She taught me how to be devoted and live life to the fullest. She is a very humble person and an ordinary woman for the world, but she is my first friend after my marriage. I met her some more than 15 years ago. I was newly married and had shifted from the metropolitan city Ahmedabad to Baroda. It was a new experience living in a new town amidst complete strangers, including my husband and in-laws.
I took up a job in the mortgage department with a multinational bank wherein I had to deal with numerous builders and cooperate with lawyers and technicians. She, at that time, was working as a customer care executive with one such renowned builder. We had been talking regularly regarding documents for a couple of months. Finally, after much delay, our meeting was fixed one day. By then, I knew her by her name and her melodious voice, all because of our telephonic conversations.
One afternoon during peak summers, I was waiting for her at her office. When she walked towards me, I saw her for the first time and was utterly amazed to see her’ aura’. She was indeed as beautiful as her name ‘Manisha’! Moreover, she was polite, listened to all the queries patiently, and helped resolve them.
Though she is an introvert by nature, we gradually became friends. As time went by and I started knowing her, I realised that she was elder by age and experience. She lived in a vast joint family with her parents and siblings.
She had dreams like any other Indian girl and wanted to pursue them. But I guess God had other plans for her. With so much struggle and compromise in her personal and professional life, I have seen her shattered and broken, but never once did I see her complaining or giving up. On the contrary, I felt turmoil inside her, but she maintained her calm and composure. No one, including the people who lived with her, was aware of her struggle. She lost her job a couple of times, but her spirit always stayed high.
She became my first mentor after my marriage. At that time, mobile phones were luxurious and not affordable, and there were no features like complimentary incoming and outgoing messages, Internet and WhatsApp. So we used to communicate through letters and STD calls. She became my light in the darkness. She is always there for her family and friends, but I hardly know anyone solely there for her!
One fine morning in 2004, I had just reached the office and got a call on my landline. The conversation left me in a shock, and before I could gather my sense, the receiver had dropped from my hands. The call was from Manisha’s friend, who said she had an accident and was admitted to the hospital. After collecting the hospital’s address, I rushed to be near Manisha. When I entered her room, I was shocked and shattered to see her condition. She was severely injured and had multiple fractures in her hand and leg. There were bandages all over, especially on her head. Her face and eyes were completely swollen.
I came to know she met with an accident the previous night and was rushed to hospital with an emergency ward. The doctors had already performed the operation to save her life as she had suffered a major injury in the head.
It’s the worst experience of life to see the person you love, adore and respect lying in the bed of hospital with bandages all over her body. Everyone from her family was around her. I started praying for her speedy recovery and waited impatiently for her to open her eyes. It was the most challenging time of my life. Doctors had told them she would be admitted for around 15 days, followed by complete bed rest for two months.
Finally, she opened her eyes by mid-afternoon, and the first thing she did was smile and thank God for saving her life. I was amazed to see this gesture. She gave us the courage to fight with the situation, assuring us that this time would pass soon and everything would be alright. She had the strongest willpower, and that day, I learned the lesson from her that no matter what, never give up with your confidence, willpower and determination. Face everything in life with positivity and a smile, and surely you will conquer everything. It took a few months to recover entirely and a few years for her scars to vanish.
But as said, life goes on. I left India in 2006. And despite the vast geographical distance between us, our friendship grew stronger with each passing year. I have the best memories of my life with her – the fights and debates, the laughter and celebrations, our shopping sprees and movie sessions. Even today, our morning starts by giving each other missed calls, which means ‘Good Morning’. It’s been 14 years since we began this friendship ritual, growing stronger with each passing day.
Thanks to advanced technology and gadgets now, helping us stay in touch despite miles apart. Looking forward to the next visit to meet her and hope to celebrate our friendship.
Physical appearance and virtue
People give more importance to physical appearence
Our perception, makes beautiful things look more beautiful!
Beauty, in my opinion, can be categorised into ‘Appearance’ & ‘Virtue’.
A majority of us reach a conclusion based on a person’s appearance. As a result, virtues are ignored. Only a few consider looking deep into a person’s virtue, keeping appearance aside. Cosmetics and make-up bloggers today play a vital role in defining beauty. Make-up can change the way someone looks. In addition to this, we have various applications now on our mobile phones which highlight and enhance beauty, making us look flawless.
When I see this today, I keep imagining the past women from the 1700s till the 1900s. Beauty was not defined by social media posts back then.
Today, some women are considered naturally beautiful, and the rest look attractive and appealing through various means now available in the market to fit into the so-called ‘beauty standards’.
But here, I keep wondering where our perception of beauty is really heading too? Because in my opinion, “Perception of quality is affected by opinions, experiences, appearances, recommendations, comparative analysis, usefulness, appeal, utility and many other things which is an individualistic choice”.
When we see someone pretty on a magazine cover, there can be alterations to make the image look pretty, so I automatically assume that what I see is a more stunning version of reality.
I think most people today are aware that most images we see around are retouched and don’t represent reality. I personally believe that the media nowadays edits too much stuff.
To me, it seems like everything human is gone now. They seem unreachable and their ‘beauty’ unachievable, harming people’s psyche.
I look up to people that are real and admit to having flaws. This makes them so much more human and relatable.
Usually, the rich can appear ‘beautiful’ due to cosmetics and things they can afford to fit society’s perception of beauty.
Rigorous advertisements for staying fit also give people a complex belief that losing weight will help them look beautiful.
But here, health has to supersede beauty. It is essential to be healthy above anything else.
I believe everyone is beautiful, but not everyone sees it. It is indeed said that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Our perception makes beautiful things look more beautiful. For me, a person is ten times more attractive, not by their looks but by their acts of kindness, love, respect, honesty, and loyalty.
Books! Imagine how vast the world of books is in itself, isn’t it? For many people like me, books are a lifeline. The activity of reading books gives immense pleasure and a sense of completeness, taking our imagination to the next level. Just the thought of finding out how many different kinds of books are available in this whole world, in how many other languages, on various topics and subjects fascinate me. A wide variety of knowledge and information is being imparted from all of these books to those taking advantage of them!
The most precious gift in my life are books,
I can open again and again…
The imaginations and creativity of our minds are being strengthened by reading. For example, when we read about unknown places, our mind creates imaginative images in our heads, rather than simply saving images from small screen memory.
“Some books leave us free and some books make us free.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Recently, we a group of ladies had gathered for one such activity to read and understand an ‘auspicious book’. I met my friend carrying a small bag stuffed with big heavy books. By heavy, I mean books of more than 500 pages. ‘What is this Zain’? I asked. ‘‘small bag, big books,’’ she replied with a smile.
Yes, I thought to myself thinking. Aren’t our brains like this? Of course, the size of our brain is small compared to our body. But think of the knowledge it contains.
The habit of reading books can save us and change us in a long way. Reading books can bring about a positive change in us. There are umpteen libraries, but parents and teachers put in an extra effort to make the young ones read, to instil the habit of reading in them. But sadly, the present generation seems to be moving away from books. They are more impressed by the technology and in surfing the Net. Reading is almost forgotten.
The pleasure of holding a book, the smell of pages while reading, getting totally engrossed and travelling miles while being seated at home, well words cannot explain that feeling. Newspapers and magazines have become e-versions. Books are stored in devices though I agree that it’s good for the environment as papers are saved.
Reading allow us a greater width and depth of experience that we simply cannot have in our own lives.
But I am sure there are still book lovers out there who prefer to read and save those books, fill their cupboards with varieties of books, and add to their collections. But, on the other hand, I have also witnessed people who just love to collect books but hardly open and read them.
“Reading is a discount ticket to everywhere.” – Mary Schmich
Indeed, reading has many benefits. It strengthens memory, reduces stress, improves empathy, expands vocabulary, and makes you wiser, more intelligent and probably more helpful. Books introduce you to libraries, to silence, to magic. It changes your subconscious mind. Its bring positivity, productivity and the ability to become better at everything. It can take you to places, through imagination or for education, conferences, or work. You can never be alone if you inculcate the habit of reading because a book can be your companion.
Lastly, without offending non-readers, as it’s a personal choice, I can say reading help you to ‘embrace your emotional self and connect with your inner self.
You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.
– M. Scott Peck
Staying quiet by listening attentively to the one talking is crucial because if we keep interrupting, we won’t understand the other person at all. To become good listeners, we need patience and practice. A good listener is key for building a solid relationship with good conversation. A good listener gets involved entirely in the conversation by sharing his valuable time and paying attention to the people.
We usually have the tendency to interrupt. We don’t listen to understand. We will listen to your reply! We can improve our techniques for having better communication by listening paying attention to the speaker. We need to be attentive. In our day to day life, we make conversation with so many people like our family members, friends, relatives, colleagues at the workplace or offices, strangers out for work, and many more. But mostly lose our patience, at times ready to answer and lose track.
The best classic example is our conversation with our children. We, as elders, listen to respond by becoming judgmental and passing a piece of advice in halfway. Then, we make an opinion in the middle of the conversation itself and shoot our comments. Is this the right way? It creates more generation gap. Isn’t it frustrating when we talk and someone interrupts us? How irritated we feel, so it’s the same, two way round.
To become a good listeners, we need to learn not to be impatient. Also not to be in a hurry to give our opinion, instead take time to listen & understand. By enhancing listening skills, one becomes more credible trustworthy, adding value. Be humble while responding back. By doing so, more strong and positive relationships are built. At the same time, also be very careful of people whose words don’t match their actions. This would save you in the long term.
To be an active listener, we must try to go beyond the words and form a rich picture of the other person’s emotions and intentions.
It is essential not to be judgemental. Conclusions should not be made in between the conversation. If required, try to remember, note it down, and discuss later. Body language is uttermost important when you are listening to someone or something. Always maintain a body posture. Pay attention because if you don’t concentrate, you will soon find out that your mind has turned to other ideas or thoughts.
Active listening, like any skill, is developed by practising, not by reading about it. Rather than focusing on right and wrong while listening, open your mind and create new ones. Consider each mind as a flower, which goes through its own growth cycles, budding, bloom and decay. Pause your opinions, debating and absolute knowing for long enough. Be a listener in such a way that it makes valuable and significant contributions that are meaningful. What is essential is that we come together as a community and communicate.
Increase your motivation to listen. This is known as the effective framework for active listening. For example, this motivation might be the desire to improve a relationship, follow instructions without wasting time, make someone feel better to make an exchange as straightforward as possible.
Walk for 30 mins and see the difference for yourself! Good health mentally and physically forever, lifetime.
Walking to a fitter lifestyle
Reder discusses the importance of being healthy
Recently I got myself enrolled for a walking challenge to achieve severe results about my weight loss and get a healthy habit of walking for long term benefits. Within a week, it left me thinking with numerous questions unanswered.
How many of us live a healthy lifestyle in today’s reality, where things and work are getting easier to do with the help of advanced technologies and machines. We use elevators and lifts instead of stairs. Washing machines and vacuums have taken away the physical work we used to do before. Cooking has become effortless with mixer grinder, dough and roti makers. Reasons for obesity and other health issues like high blood pressure, diabetes, thyroid and many more are due to more minor physical exercises and a more relaxed lifestyle. Now what we do in the gym for an hour with various exercises like weight lifting, body bump, elliptical, treadmill all can be done at home just bringing a slight change in our lifestyle maintaining a regime for walking an hour a day. Start using stairs, forgetting we have lifts around.
Before two decades, indeed, we never had gyms in demand. But, now the present situation narrates its own story for awareness of fitness and also use of vehicles like bikes, scooters, cars and many more, immensely preferred rather than a bicycle or walking.
There are so many events, activities happening these days like yoga, outdoor exercises, fitness challenges, special promotions for walking events to create awareness for fitness and a healthy lifestyle. Our body is our permanent home till we are alive. So we should love it, take care of it. Many people who participate in such events positively agree.
As we live in a competitive world, I wonder if people really participate in such challenges, understanding that it’s for ourselves and not to win or compete with others. Competitions are healthy, no doubt, but many a time’s main aims for participation is lost and forgotten. We shouldn’t be doing it for the sake of 1st prize and gifts only. It is basically to learn to adopt a healthy lifestyle. It is to help one form a good habit and routine. Set a target for a daily basis and try to accomplish that. Break your own records and not of others for others.
I witnessed in the walking challenge that people were in the race to defeat one other. The step’s targets before signing off for the day are set so that other people can’t beat it. Daily, an unbeatable target is set for all who are participating. Many started to get demotivated, thinking this was unachievable and we couldn’t do it. No one was willing to hold hands and do it as teamwork, inspiring each other to go to the finish line or achieve