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How to start reading a book or a novel?


Novel – Destined to Heal With by Lamiya Siraj

So In brief I would like to sum up by mentioning below points that would help peaking up your interest till you develop an appetite for it:

  1. Start with Fiction and preferably the category that suits your interest.
  2. Prefer paper edition above digital at least for few initial books. Everything from the smell of paper to the sound of turning pages would make you fall in love.
  3. Be inquisitive and try out various genres. Try reading the popular books in the category. Take the help of Goodreads to get the reviews.
  4. If possible develop a circle of friends who have the common interest of reading.
  5. Reading book the last thing of the day is a love of its own kind. Try shutting down your system with reading a book as the last step.

Happy Reading !

The first and foremost point that comes in our mind is:

How to start reading a book?

Right,
I guess many of you, must have come across this thought!!!

This is a bit genuine one..

So as mentioned in poster above,
There are three sections to a book:-

• Front
• Middle
• End

Well, first step to reading a book is to find a book that interests you. If you haven’t read any books earlier and the idea of reading a thick book tires you, you can start with short stories (so that you don’t get bored with the ever extending plot of regular novels).

1. Get yourself your favourite munchies and drink.
2. Open the book.
3. Start reading the words written there till you reach some punctuation mark.
4. If it is a comma(,), then take a pause and continue reading.
5. If it is a full stop(.) then, then well halt and try analysing what you read.
6. Go on read the next sentence.
7. If the text is between quotation marks (” “). Imagine a character from some movie, speaking it for you inside your head, (for e.g. It’s always Tony Stark inside my head, when I need a pep talk). This might be a little difficult initially, but you’ll get used to and it’ll just come by itself later.
8. Replace the voices/ characters for different characters in the book. Don’t read all sentences in same voice. (No, never).
9. Also, try putting emotions in the sentence you read. If it’s a happy sentence, allow yourself to happy. If there’s action involved, feel free to let the sound come alive.

If you are reading some mystery novel, and got tired after a few chapters go to end and check out who’s alive, who’s missing. Go back to where you left and try figuring out what happened to that person. Alternately, you may skip a few chapters and play connect the dots (figuratively).

Reading books is pretty interesting.

Coming on to the next piece of information,
What does it mean by front pages?

  1. Front pages have the front material, which is the writing at the front of the book that isn’t the first chapter of the book.
  2. It comes in four basic flavors, and each type serves a different purpose. You can decide on your own whether or not you want to read any given section of front material.
  3. The four types of front material are:
  4. Acknowledgments:

A brief section that lists people who helped the author in some way during the writing process.

You can read acknowledgments if you like, but most people don’t bother.

  1. Foreword: The foreword is written by a different author than the person who wrote the book.

The foreword talks a bit about what to expect from the book, and why it is worth reading.

  1. Preface:

The preface is written by the author of the book.

It is usually (but not always) shorter than the foreword, and is basically an essay that explains how and why the book was written.
If you’re interested in the author’s personal life or creative process, the preface can give you some valuable insight.

  1. Introduction:

The introduction is the place where the author speaks directly to the reader and introduces the book, reviewing what its intent is and building excitement in the reader about getting to read it.

Introductions are more often found in nonfiction books than fiction books.

Coming on to the next piece of information,
What does it mean by end pages?

  1. It is other writing, typically by different authors, that appear after the main book has ended.
  2. If you greatly enjoyed a book, end material can give you a chance to revisit parts of it.
  3. If you didn’t understand the importance of a book, it can provide important historical and cultural context.
  4. All end material is totally optional.

No one becomes a reader over night.

One needs to work on his/her reading habit. If you want to become a voracious reader or we say bibliophile you too have to work on it.

First start with the genre you like. Or you can also start with short stories in magazines, over internet.

Enjoy Reading! All the best 🙂

Be Happy, challenge, Forgiving, friendship, happiness, hobbies, Learn to Love, Perfection, Rejection, Self-Help, Technology

30 Day Journal – Mental Health


Photo by Jess Bailey Designs on Pexels.com

Day 1

How am I feeling right now?

Have you ever asked this question to yourself? We wait for our loved one to ask us this question whenever we are feeling low or lonely and left out? But at times we are left disappointed as all are busy with their own respective lives and problems solving it for their own self.

So the best way is to love your own company and own self. You will never feel left out. Whenever you feel uneasy about anything and loaded with the negative thoughts – just spare time with your own self. Ask yourself ‘How am I feeling right now?’ Why am I feeling like this? Answers to such questions will definitely lead you to a solution and make you feel better. Do whatever makes you feel better. Maybe they are simple things in life. But if that is giving you peace and makes you happy, why not! Go for it!

Try all that either you have forgotten or you think might not help you, because those are the things that only will or might help you. Like go for a walk, eat your favourite ice-cream or chocolate, call someone whom you are missing at that weak moment or you haven’t called for a long time, watch a movie, listen to music or just go to sleep becoming a lazy bum :)!

At times when you are feeling low, you might ask yourself ‘Why am I living?’ I will be discussing this in my day two journal.

Day 2

What is making you feel how you feel right now?

Let’s continue… Giving the feed to the brain yes I want you to ask yourself ‘What is making you feel how you feel right now?’ Here I am considering both the facts – like two sides of a coin. You might be feeling happy or you might be feeling sad! So go deep into the process of analysing why this side of your emotions got triggered and what are the sentiments or emotions behind it.

Getting happy is understood and acceptable as not much rocket science needs to be applicable. But the other side definitely needs attention. At the time of being upset you might end up asking the question ‘Why am I living’? Consider this as an important question for yourself and acknowledge it with positivity. Don’t ignore it or sit and crib else you will only be pushed towards the deep valley of negativity leading to stress and depression – causing a disaster.

At this stage you might not find a purpose of living if you think about it. Gradually you will understand and have a motto as well as a mission for the same. If still you don’t get an answer – drill this into your mind that my first purpose of living is ‘LEARNING’! Learning cannot and should not be stopped.

Second is ‘IMPROVING’. Keep on improving yourself to make your life extra beautiful. But again you might end up asking why and what should I improve? So, here the simple logic and answer that you need to keep answering yourself is ‘to have proper future plans and for their improvements’.

The third one is ‘SHARING’. Here, the question you will ask is ‘How do you share and why do share what you have?’ There are ample people in this world who are in adversity. They need your help. If you have the desire and passion to help them out, you must first have enough skills for yourself.

Therefore, first comes ‘LEARNING’, then ‘IMPROVING’ and lastly ‘SHARING’.

So, All in all, to know yourself is one of the main reasons to not let yourself down!

See you at DAY 3 Journal 🙂

Day 3

If you could change one thing about how you feel right now, what would it be?

Answer this question yourself first in the journal before you scroll down. Note it down. If you want to help yourself and feel energetic/good/relaxed/complete/thankful. 🙂

If you have a BAD DAY this is how you feel, isn't it?

The supply of available curse words are insufficient to meet my demands!

I am sure 99% will be unhappy with something or the other with themselves and start making a list for themselves what they want to change. Try it yourself! A long list would be waiting like ‘I am unhappy with my life, my face, my nose, my skin, my legs, my family, my friends, my job, my career, my marriage, my children, etc etc’…

But have you ever given this a thought that these are all materialistic things. These are not permanent. With age and time everything fades. Why do we think negative only when this question is asked!

I don’t say or debate that you should not feel upset or sad! NO! My point here is yes be real with your emotions but don’t get drowned in them. Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you had in your mind. For every lost opportunity, find solace knowing there is a way out and you definitely can make things alright. Have that solid confidence in yourself.

I can list down here how and what should be done when you are feeling low but I won’t do it till you do what I have mentioned below. As in Day 4, you will be answering yourself once I start the topic. As here we are maintaining a journal for you to help yourself. For preaching unlimited stuff is available in the forms of books, videos, audios, write-ups, messages… So I don’t want to be the one doing the same thing in different a manner.

Now, can you be different from the herd? If not try at least. List down the things you are happy with. Feel the difference then. Be thankful for what you have rather than what you want to change!

See you on Day 4 🙂

Day 4

Explain one thing that you’re ‘GRATEFUL’ for right now!

Starting the Day with a Positive vibes and a positive note, tell me have you note down the things that were asked in yesterday’s Journal? Well if you have then I am sure you must have slept feeling peaceful. So today we will continue here with the same topic. Now from your list of answers what is that ‘One Thing’ you are most GRATEFUL for right now

I agree we need to be grateful for everything in our lives then be it materialistic things or not. Being grateful opens the door for more opportunities.

So, exercise done? Then only scroll down! And read my point of view 🙂

Why limit yourself to one particular thing each day?

Did you thought this way before listing down your one thing to grateful for right now?

The goal and focus should be as much gratitude as possible for as many things as you can and as often as possible. Expand your focus broadly enough and it will be easy to find much more than one thing to be grateful for in your day to day life, GUARANTEED!

Here if I have to share my experience I will start with: "I am grateful for a wide range of things everyday!"

Each morning, when I wake up, I am grateful to have the experience of being alive in such a magnificent, awe-inspiring universe.

I am grateful to be surrounded by love and support. I am grateful that I can share my life with people who cherish me and who I cherish. I am grateful to have been born into a society that’s progressive. I am grateful that my parents, particularly my mother, did a bang-up job of raising me and instilled in me a sense of self-efficacy.

I have an amazing life. I like being me, even if some bits of being me are frustrating sometimes. I am grateful for it all.

Have you ever thought of it this way?

I will share an activity that I have been practising for several years. The first thing I do every morning when I get up is to get out my small notebook that I have kept next to my bed and write down three things that I am grateful for that moment. As I am doing these for several years now, I am sure I’ve repeated myself several times, but I try to make something different everyday so that nothing is left out to be grateful from my life and my subconscious mind. I started this practice when I was going through a terrible time, feeling not getting enough of what I deserve and desire. As said it is easy to feel stressed, upset, and depressed when it seems things aren’t right for us! This tip I had read on some blog and decided to try it out. I am glad it worked 🙂

There are still plenty of stressors and issues in my life that I am working to remedy. But what changed as a direct result of this practice is my attitude and outlook. So I can share this today that even with a stressful day ahead of you, it really does make a difference to start the day on a positive note. Later I didn’t limit myself to the mornings. I kept writing down for every small thing happening to be grateful for throughout the entire day.

By making an effort to focus on gratitude throughout the day, it began to become an automatic habit in the brain. Feeling grateful feels a hell lot better than feeling angry, bored, frustrated, depressed or any other emotion from the dark side of the force. The habit is self-perpetuating. In any situation, even the unpleasant ones, you can find something to be grateful for.

So now share with me your experience of being ‘GRATEFUL’ by commenting back. I am waiting for it 🙂 And just a hint: Day 5 is gonna be different and more thrilling. Get yourself ready for it ;).

Day 5

Explain the sensations in your body right now – be specific!

Now this is tricky as well as a straight question. While answering don’t restrict yourself. Let your emotions float. When was it last when you had thought about the sensation in your body, taking out time for yourself?

Most of the time, fulfilling our duties in life with a lot of responsibilities we tend to forget ourselves and our emotions especially the sensations our body goes through…

Take this opportunity to feel the sensations your body is feeling right now! Feel it. Live it.

Sensations could be anything since long you haven’t felt or want to feel now. Go for it!

Share yours once you are done for Day 5 and I will share mine 🙂

Okay! Now my turn! Sensation right now that OI am feeling right now is ‘Contemplate’!

A sensation is:
  • The operation or function of senses: Perception of awareness of stimuli through the senses. Perception can be subjective.
  • 2. A mental condition or physical feeling resulting from stimulation of a sense organ or from internal bodily change, as cold or pain.

So a sensation is a feeling whether its from a touch or smell or taste. As for a thought, a thought in and of itself can’t be a sensation. But they can create sensations. Like thinking that ‘You are on a beach and feeling the sand below your toes even though you are at home’.

This is how true and strong emotions for somebody or something create a high impact on our lives with high sensitivity of sensations 🙂

Day 6

Write down one worry you have right now?

It’s important. Whether you implement it or not. Write down the worry you have right now, in your life! I could have started the write-up with ‘Do you have worry right now’? But I didn’t because we as humans definitely cannot live and lead our lives without worrying for anything or something. Our subconscious mind is always surrounded by it, whether we want it or not! I am not going into the classification or detailing of it, No! I just want you to write it down!

By writing it down

  1. It will be out from your chest.
  2. You will be able to focus on it.
  3. You will feel committed.
  4. You will believe in yourself.
  5. You will get direction and a feeling of self-fulfilment.
  6. It will help you answer the questions of your life’s purpose.

Write it down with with the help of:

  • Insecurity
  • negativism
  • anxiety
  • worrying

Here is the reflective exercise that will help you once you write it down:

  • Help you deal with your feelings.
  • Help you deal with fairness in your life.
  • Forgive
  • Let go
  • Feel Empathy
  • Feel Gratitude
  • Help you resolve conflicts.


You are not the only one with worry or worries! Please keep this in mind. Everyone lives through life with negative experiences and emotions.

The way you deal with those negative experiences and emotions is the real key to HAPPINESS.

So, Here the exercise that I am offering you to do is to describe your one worry from your day also as if you are the 3rd person watching it.

It is easy to get upset when we are all ‘I’ but the whole scene might change when we let go of the ‘I’ and try to look at the matter objectively. This exercise will help you unwind and live a more peaceful, happier life.

It’s a tendency to keep a bunch of notes as well as worries in the mind and heart. That’s not healthy! By writing down everything you need to attend to, you free your mind from distractions and let it be free.

The bottom line with this exercise is to stop remembering and start writing.

Just get it down on paper and out from your MIND.

Once you have done you will notice how much easier it is to look at your ‘WORRY’ and resolve it.

By writing down your worry you will achieve:

  • Improved quality of sleep.
  • Better productivity.
  • More positivity.
  • Less Headaches.
  • Less Stress.

This exercise has the power to:

  • Show you how great your life is…
  • Motivate you when you are down.
  • Create more victories in your life.
  • Improve your overall happiness and life satisfaction.
Try this out for yourself and share your results... If not with me at least with your own self!

Day 7

Now write down 3 logical ways to think about that worry?

In the day 6 a brief explanation is given on ‘Worry’! So am sure you must have followed and understood the root causes of it. So, today I want you to start with thinking three logical ways to think about that worry that you have pen down on Day 6.

I will help you here:

  • Do you think logically
  • Do you think mentally
  • Do you think emotionally
  • Do you think rationally
  • Is it really necessary and required

Let me share with you that ‘Worry’/’Stress’ are silent killers. Don’t allow them to make a home in you!

  • Letting/Allowing fear or anxiety of the future paralyzing you is BAD.
  • Hoarding things that others need because you will want it in future is BAD.
  • Not preparing for the obvious need in future is also BAD.
  • Trying to control the future is BAD.

One cannot stop from worrying! But thinking it rationally helps you get a solution for a better and healthy life 🙂

Next topic of Journal is interesting as well as strongly recommended for your Mental Health so stay tuned!

Day 8

What do you need to let go of in your life right now?

As we have discussed a lot of worries now comes the connectivity about what you need to let go of from your life right now! Think about it. Think ‘HARD’. Think about what is causing you pain. Think that is ‘Stopping you from progressing’. At times we keep things or memories close to our hearts which needs to be let go. It maintains a healthy habit of decluttering. Not required should be removed from life. Then be it in the form of materialistic things or memories stored from the past! Make sufficient space for ‘NEW’.

Let go of your Worries, Ego, Overthinking, Anger and Revenge as it will not take you anywhere in your life. Act now, as immature people can only criticise. Let go of the past, make peace with it instead!

Ask yourself ‘Why’ I need to let go of this right now in my life? I Am sure you will hear an answer for yourself from within you:

For a better future and inner peace.

Think. It could be anything like:

  • Your Past
  • Your Friends who betrayed you.
  • Regretting mistakes that you have made.
  • False image that you have in your head made by some people around you.
  • Something that happened with you without your consent.
"Don't let yesterday take up too much of today" - Will Rogers

Holding on to good memories is never harmful but holding on to bad memories can be just detrimental.

Day 9

What can you do to improve your mental health today?

Have you ever taken out time for yourself doing this exercise or thought about it? If not then this the time! Do it right now. List down things you can do for your mental health like we do for our physical health by doing exercises, yoga, walking, meditation along with maintaining healthy eating habits. Equally mental health is important. It should not be ignored at any cost. Everyone has their own unique ways. So tell me today what will you do to improve your mental health?

I will help you by my TOP 10 here to improve your overall Mental Health:

  1. Keep Away From Toxic People. They will infect you in the ways you cannot imagine.
  2. Stay Grateful. No matter where you are in life, or what is happening, be aware there are always people struggling more than you are. It keeps a positive perspective.
  3. Make Time for Things You Love. Hard to do, but indeed very important. I am sure you must be having a hobby for which you must have not given time for! Be it reading, writing, watching movies/series, listening to music, playing guitar, painting, driving, or any thing that you love… Make it a priority.
  4. Stay Physically Healthy as much as possible. Go to your yearly and regular medical check ups even if you don’t feel like it, do physical therapies if you need to, take medication if you are supposed to be taking it. If you have an addiction – Address it.
  5. Sleep. At least 6 to 8 hours. As you know it’s recommended for overall good health. If you’ve ever had bad nights of sleep, you know how they can cripple your mood and functioning. Sleeping well helps you stay well Mentally.
  6. Examine how you Think. What’s your automatic response to events, people or situations – is it positive or negative? Try to examine how you approach the world and challenge yourself to see the potential even in tough situations, rather than the detriments. Over time, it gets natural to see the positive effects in your behaviour.
  7. Get Active. You don’t have to be a CrossFit warrior. What is needed here is that you should move everyday – take a walk, go for cycling, swimming, any other outdoor sports, or hit the gym but keep in mind LEAVE THE MOBILE BEHIND!
  8. Make time for Friends. Laughing and getting out of your own headspace is important. Make time to socialise with friends, get out of the house and make it a priority.
  9. Do things for Others. Helping others will help you back. It will make you feel good. A small gesture of help can be absolutely a big game-changer.
  10. See Food as Fuel. If you power your body with terrible things, it’s going to feel a lot more terrible than it needs to. Try to limit processed foods, sugar, and fried foods. Stick with healthier options as much as you can. It helps your brain, your mood, and your attention span!

So this is it for today. See you at Day 10 🙂

Day 10

Write down three things that you achieved today and how they made you feel?

Well I could have tweaked this question like ‘Write down three things that you have achieved TILL today and how they made you feel?’ But I have refrained myself from doing that! Simple reason I want you to think of today. We have been working on day to day basics with sensitive topics in our 30 Day Journal here. So, yes note down things you have achieved today.

I have been practising all the questions myself and have seen the tremendous change in myself, my lifestyle and my thinking. So go for it. Be true to yourself!

I can answer for myself here one thing for sure after my achievements, that I get ‘Happiness’. Achievements aren’t defined here. So don’t be in a trap! It could be anything as of the day. For example for me it’s simple: watering my indoor plants and cleaning them is the biggest achievement of my day! As I am with nature and nurturing them, see them bloom and blossom. The satisfaction that I get and feel, no comparison with anything else. I am into my own world at that time. But we as humans are different from each other, so might be you must be having different emotions. Think about it and express it.

Everyone is chasing happiness, but only few know from where it comes from. Happiness is not a goal. Instead, you get to travel everyday. Here, I will be sharing a few QUOTES ABOUT HAPPINESS and smiles that will inspire you. Being happy with who you are and what you are is the only thing that can make you happy, not what people expect you to be.

Live Life Short Quotes

  • Judge your success with what you had to give up in order to win.

– The Dalai Lama

  • Tourists are always waiting for inspiration, we all just get up and go to work.

– Stephen King

  • The sun went down. You have failed. It doesn’t matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail it better.

– Samuel Beckett

  • To be successful in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

– Mark Twain

  • A successful road is always being built.”

– Lily Tomlin

  • Success goes…from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.

– Winston Churchill

  • Don’t wait. Time will not be right.

– Napoleon Hill

  • Success is largely a matter of holding back when others have given up.

– Unknown

  • Low self-esteem is like driving a life with a broken arm.

 Maxwell Malts

Note:

Don’t categorise achievements as something which is visible or somewhere related to money. When we read success stories of Bill Gates, Ambani, Warren Buffet, we think that they have achieved something in their lives. And if this is the scenario we can say that our mothers are housewives and have failed to achieve anything in their life. Although, they are the one who make our house a home. Going with the flow, I will say achievements are not which can be seen through medals, trophies, and money. I am not saying being successful is not an achievement, but whatever you get in life, accepting it is an achievement. You achieve something when you get contentment with something.

See ya! Stay Blessed!

Day 11

Talk about the happiest time of your life.

So, here you are! How often do you talk about your happiest time with your loved ones? Do you keep sharing it? In a way keep remembering it? When you talk about your happiest time, events, gathering, achievements and so on and on… it makes the heart feel complete and at peace. It’s like there is so much in life to look forward to. When you share your happiest time – you leave stories behind for your generation to share with the upcoming generation and so on and on! You never know who is getting inspired by your aspirations. Just talk it out!

There can be absolutely thousands of things to make your day, to make your life happy one, even if not many great things are happening in your life. But the most important thing is your ‘Attitude towards your life’. How you see your life and things around you. If you have the right attitude, you will be happy even in your worst of the situations.

The key to happiness is in many things, not just one.
The First one is Simplicity. You should always enjoy simple things in your life, no matter what. Don’t aspire for bigger things. Look around you, observe things, experience the beauty of serene nature, the sunrise, sunset, million stars in the night, feel the cool breeze of wind in the morning and evening time, feel the rain, feel how it feels to sleep like a child in the cold wintry days. Spend time with family, with children, love some pet animal, a dog, cat or anything.
Ever heard people speaking in interviews to their friends after they have survived a tragedy, had a “life altering experience”.. They go like this, ‘Now I am more aware of myself’. And now I have started appreciating smaller, simple things in life. I have a new attitude towards life.’ This is the story of many, people don’t appreciate things until they are struck with such tragedies. Don’t be like them. Start doing such things now.

Spending time in nature is the healthiest thing. And as they say it, nature is cheaper than therapy. Don’t waste your money on some shrink, instead go out in nature, someplace nice, quiet or with your loved ones, whatever you like.

Then there’s Music. Music has the power to make you forget everything. When you are listening to music, listen intently, feel it within you, embrace it, dance to it, cry it if it’s sad. Crying is also healthy. You get it out of your system.

Reading is important. You learn a lot of things from books, read history or biopics to learn how people lived, what they changed, how they made a difference.
People don’t realize the benefits of writing daily or weekly, keeping a journal. Write anything that comes to your mind, write about the things happening around the world, people around you. You feel light-headed, healthy.

Watching a movie or some episodes of a series daily, can make your day anytime. Make it a habit to watch an episode of your favourite selection before you get on with your day to day work. It will improve your mood. Watch realistic works. iSo that you can relate it to your life. Learn from it.

Having a sense of humour can help even in the worst cases. Don’t get offended easily. Make jokes, quietly in your mind to avoid beating if it becomes too much. Laugh at yourself.

One more thing which works for me, is don’t give a damn in general about things. Say, ‘My Bad’ and move on. Don’t care about what people think. Don’t whine about your stupid little problems. You could only make it worse by whining about it. I hate those people who have every reason to be happy but they are not because they want more, they compare themselves with others, and aspire for materialistic things. Never compare yourself with anyone. Don’t get jealous. Don’t get mad if you lose something.

Some more things would be as simple as, walking down the street, while listening to music, doing some photography, daydreaming, helping someone, meeting new people etc etc.

At last, be passionate about something, anything. Spend more time doing it and go after your dreams. Dream more and love more things, as many as you can. Learn something new each day. Have a Happy Life.

While doing all this. Talk! Talk about the happiest time of your life when you were busy doing it, making memories 🙂

Day 12

When was the last time you did something for yourself?

After reading this question are you still thinking or you were able to answer yourself immediately? Well both the scenarios are important. If you already have an answer, good going. Keep it up! But what if you are still struggling? It’s an indication that you should take up seriously.

Anything that you did for yourself which you can mention here and which gave you happiness counts. Then be a haircut for yourself or just go to a spa. Or going for a movie or night out with friends. In this pandemic situation meeting someone you love, adore or have missed them for a long time…counts. Note it down.

Even doing something good for others, if it made you happy then its equivalent of doing something good for yourself.

So, be true to yourself and write it down for yourself. It can be more than one thing also. Surprise yourself by the answers you give to yourself 🙂

Day 13

What made a positive effect on your life and why?

I am sure there may be many incidents for you to narrate here. But there must be a special one that’s engraved on your heart forever for sure. It’s like a lifetime lesson. Take a deep dive in your memories and get that one or at least one pearl out from your ocean.

I will share mine here with you all. As I am a huge fan of reading, I keep myself occupied throughout the day for maximum hours dwelled in reading. Everything and every time I read, I learn something new. At times reading the same stuff, it still leaves me with some new learning and feed for my thoughts. With life’s learning along with the combination of reading the positive impact that I have in my life are:

You are the only help to yourself. (Not even your parents or beloved ones)

Your pain is your endurance. People can only hear you and be sympathetic but the “pain” is all yours and you have to deal with it.

The more you value others, the more you are neglected. The more you value yourself, the more you grow.

Every person and situation of your life is temporary. Only you are permanent. And so, stop lamenting the wrongdoings. Start celebrating even the smallest achievement.

I would write down a few ideas which influenced my life to a great extent: So that you can write yours’s without struggling much about what has a positive effect on your life and why?

1.’The harder you sweat in peace, the lesser you bleed in war’ .

2.Anyway you have to do it. Better do it NOW.

These are the quotes I tell to myself whenever I procrastinate.

3.Remember the one who gave up?
Well, we don’t remember quitters.

I tell this to myself whenever I feel like ‘Okay. I’m done. I can’t do it anymore’.

4.Patience has its reward.

My Favourite:
The Chinese bamboo and learned that the tree takes 5 years, 3 months to grow to its whole height of 80 feet. Yet, for the first 5 years, you only see a tiny green shoot, but in the next 90 days, it grows into a full-fledged tree. But in those first 60 months, it is growing its strong network of roots underground, to support the tree. In an era of instant gratification, we settle for shorter trees, but remember patience has its reward. These are your years of growing that strong network of roots but be sure when you finally achieve your success, people will call it “overnight success”.

All the best 🙂 See you at Day 14

Day 14

How do you feel when you consider therapy or treatment for mental illness?

Let’s start this topic today with your reaction! How did you feel when you read this question? What was your first reaction? Do you take up this question and topic as healthy? Or do you feel uncomfortable discussing or even taking it up?

Normally people are not comfortable talking about their discomfort. People think depression is not a topic to be discussed publicly! But here I want to ask Why not? If you are feeling left out, uncomfortable, stressed or have depressing thoughts and suffering alone, why not talk it out? Many times people wear a plastic smile and hide away their true feelings, letting that depression make a way deep inside them and at times taking their lives away!

So here, this is a straight question you need to answer yourself and no one else. Write it down in your Journal. What and how do you feel? If you are suffering or knows anyone who is suffering from it! Be brave to accept and ready to help. Mental health is not about the old saying ‘He/She is mad’! Take them to a mental hospital, NO! Please don’t shy away. Come forward and take help if required. Don’t suffer in ‘SILENCE’.

“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Stigma

A person with mental illness grows up and lives in a world of people mostly uneducated about mental illness, with a long-standing history of explaining mental illness as an example of spiritual or character weakness.

The stigma surrounding mental illness deserves to die, as the overwhelming majority of those with mental health diagnoses live productive lives, have good friendships and relationships, and do not pose a threat in any way to the well being of others. They are much more likely to cause harm to themselves if their illness is not successfully treated. They carry the pain, shame, and suffering inside themselves, as mental illness is most often an ‘invisible illness,” unknown and undetectable by those around them.

Even though only a small minority of the mentally ill are violent, most people perceive people with a mental illness to be more unstable or more likely to become violent.

The lack of understanding of what mental illness is leads to: 

Discrimination

People avoid what they feel as they have a right to be afraid of and most people will also avoid what they do not understand. Frightening over-the-top images of “violent crazy people” on television or in movies do not help educate about mental illness. That a very small minority of those with mental illness commit crimes doesn’t matter, when perception of the mentally ill as violent or unlawful comes from the media sensationalizing those very few cases.

We lack an understanding and awareness of what mental illness is, we are reluctant or ashamed to admit it, and mental illness is highly stigmatized. People make negative comments and don’t realize how those comments can really affect how we feel. And how we go about our lives. And it can actually leave little scars on us inside. Nobody reaches out to emotionally distressed for help. Instead, they are shunned , ridiculed, or feared.

Sometimes, families do not consider mental illness to be a problem, we have to make them understand that mental illnesses are real medical conditions and that there are effective treatments and these must be made available to people.

Mental illness should not be stigmatized. Instead, we need to start talking about it more. We need to start giving out the truth. And not perpetuating the lies. When we see somebody who’s emotionally distressed or acting strangely, or too often intoxicated for them we need to be involved, show our concern. This may help somebody to alleviate them from unnecessary suffering. Let’s help each other. Let’s work together, As we break through the stigma. And work towards a healthy mind and a healthy body.

Day 15

Think about the last time you were anxious that turned out to be nothing to worry about. How did you feel?

So, I will start here by sharing my story. I was in my high school. I was fourteen that time. My best buddy came to school and seemed lost. Till mid of the day I was struggling with her to find out what’s wrong with her! But the day was longer and luck was playing hard on me. Later she agreed to talk to me telling me I will share something with you but it’s a secret. Keep it with you. I hurriedly said ‘Promise’ go ahead and tell me quickly now. She said I have been observing some lumps in my breast and armpit. Her eyes were all filled with tears. She said at times it pains also especially when touched. I freaked out. We had just entered our teens and had witnessed few live cases of ‘Breast Cancer’. Just a week before there was a campaign about the awareness of the same in our school. And we were asked to diagnose ourselves on a regular basis. It was the time I felt extremely anxious. I was scared and was sweating. I felt breathless and at the same time suffocated. My mind started racing. Don’t know what all thoughts came to my mind about my closest friend’s suffering and me losing her. Ah! It was indeed the most scary day of my life.

She was anxious too and didn’t want to share this with anyone. Not even her parents. I calmed myself down and had a pep talk with her. Finally in a day’s time I convinced her to share this with her parents and take the reference of the free check up from the campaign that happened and stay positive. I promised her to be by her side all the time. Next day we went for her through check-ups. The time from the check-up till the results came left me all exhausted and drained out. By the grace of God everything was normal and her reports were negative. It was just the growing biological symptoms of the body. Till today we remember that day and all that we had gone through with our emotions but yes learned our hard lesson ‘Better to be safe, then Sorry.

Do this exercise. Write down and check it for yourself. Now go one step further. Start Analysing the causes and patterns of your worries. I will help you with a few quick tips to stop worrying for unnecessary things in life.

#1 Find the Cause.

Most things don’t actually have a leg to stand on, meaning they have no true basis to exist. If you find the cause of the worry, you can often eliminate it right there.

#2 Take the Emotion out of it.

Subjectively, the world may end when you lose your job or get out of a relationship. Objectively, however, it is not a permanent thing to anything. Don’t let your emotions cloud your reason.

#3 Record the Worry and Deal with it straight away.

“Dealing with it” is not about actually solving the worry, but more about finding a time and place at which you will handle it.

Write down a time and day on which you will be able to deal with it with whatever worry that plagues you right now; sit down even if you just have to sit down for a while to think about it.

Taking action in scheduling it makes the worry feel taken care of and at least gets it out of your head for present.

#4 Look at the Bigger Picture.

What matters to you in the end? What are you worrying over at this point? Are you worried about losing your love, or job for example? Would this matter in the end if you still found love or a better job? There is a reason things don’t seem so big in hindsight! Try to take that feeling of looking back at something and use it for today!

#5 Worry about Better Things.

It is physically impossible for your mind to think about multiple things at the exact same time; even during Multitasking your mind switches between thoughts rapidly but never deals with things simultaneously.

That being said, if you focus your thoughts on better things you will surely drown out the worry. This will get your mind into a better, overall, situation.

#6 What if the worry holds true?

Let your mind wander and then ask yourself what were to happen if the worry were to hold true. Would your life end then? Could you never be happy again? Would it all be over? Or do you think you have the power to move out of whatever horrible mess you can imagine? You have made it out of every bad thing thus far… What is to say you can’t this time should it happen?

#7 Let Go.

This will be drastically easier once you actually have applied some of the above mentioned tips. You can shortcut getting rid of the worry simply by believing that any one of the above holds true and letting the worry go based on the assumption that it holds no value. This is based mostly on trust in yourself, and therefore not something you can apply if you have worried over many things recently. But, the more you handle your worries, the easier it will be to let go of them before they truly take hold on YOU!

“ Be Grateful For What You Have. Be Fearless For What You Want.”

Day 16

What was your biggest failure? And what did you learn from your biggest failure in your life?

I am sure we all have different stories and different expectations from life. So each lesson learned is different from each other. Please think and write down what you think is your biggest failure in life and what lessons have you learned from it. The failure could be anything through out in your life, from your childhood, till right now!

My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” – Abraham Lincoln

Try and see if you recognize any of these names: Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Winston Churchill, Steven Spielberg, and Albert Einstein; how about Henry Ford? Nobody would argue that these are some of the best, brightest minds to have ever existed and that they’ve all made tremendous contributions to society. Nobody would ever attach the word failure to any one of them. But that’s exactly what they were at one time.

Failure is a matter of perspective, plain and simple. Let’s just take Abraham Lincoln, for example. The 16thPresident of the United States may just go down in history as the best leader the United States, perhaps the entire world, has ever had. What the history books will often omit however, is the number of failures that Lincoln experienced, among them: losing his jobs, failing in business, losing multiple runs for office (eight in total), and numerous rejections by colleagues and constituents; this all before being elected president in 1860. The rest is history.

Lincoln’s story alone is enough to demonstrate how failure can be a driving force towards success. The fact is that many of life’s important lessons are learned through failures and setbacks.

HERE ARE 10 LESSONS WE CAN ALL LEARN FROM FAILURE:

1. FAILURE BUILDS CHARACTER

There is a lesson to be learned from everything, including failure. Perhaps the greatest benefit earned from failure is strength. Think about it: if life were perfect and every endeavour ended in seamless success, what sort of person would you be? The truth is this – failure teaches us more about ourselves and builds character better than success ever could.

2. FAILURE CREATES OPPORTUNITY

Think about this: how many times in your life have you failed at something only to discover another opportunity? Maybe it was a failed relationship that led you to someone great. Maybe it was a job that didn’t suit you and brought you a better one. Regardless of what your “failure” was, the sweetness afterwards was much better as a result, wasn’t it?

3. FAILURE IS A GREAT TEACHER

Failure has a way of showing what your strengths and weaknesses are while motivating you to correct them. In any area of life – academics, work, play, relationships, etc. – failure is often the driving force behind success. For example, Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest basketball player in history, failed to make his high school basketball team. When asked about his early failures, Jordan said:

“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”

4. FAILURE INSTILLS COURAGE

As should be clear by now, most people are scared of failure. Many of us are unwilling to take the uncertain path; we’d just prefer to stay in the same boat and not rock it too much. After all, we have responsibilities and people that depend on us. In short, failure requires courage. Whether the failure experienced was anticipated or not, you’ll need to toughen up a bit to get through it.

5. FAILURE TEACHES PERSEVERANCE

When experiencing failure, it’s very easy to just roll over and give up. “What’s the use?” you say to yourself. It takes guts and determination to keep driving forward. Take J.K Rowling, author of the enormously successful Harry Potter series. Rowling said that she received “loads” of rejection letters over a five year span before finding a publisher for one of the most successful book (and movie) series ever. Wow.

6. FAILURE SPAWNS CREATIVITY

If necessity is the mother of invention, failure is the father. Nothing spurs creativity like failure. Artists and creators of all stripes know that if something doesn’t work out, they must tap into their large reservoir of creative talent to create something truly unique.

8. FAILURE IS ACCEPTABLE

While a simple concept, accepting failure can be difficult to truly embrace. In the midst of experiencing failure, it is never a good feeling. In fact, this feeling can be downright gut-wrenching. But just remember that failure is acceptable…lack of effort is not. Here’s Michael Jordan again: “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”

9. FAILURE ENCOURAGES EXPLORATION

Steve Jobs knew that the corporate world was not for him. In fact, many things were not. He disliked college, societal norms, and the stiffness of businesspeople. Before founding Apple with Steve Wozniak, Jobs could have been labelled as a failure…he just didn’t care. Jobs said: “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” So explore and don’t let anything, especially failure, stop you.

10. FAILURE TEACHES RESILIENCE

Along with making us better people, failure both teaches and strengthens resilience. Through the discomfort and uncertainty of failure, one will be better able to take on any of life’s challenges as they come. Resilience is something required of all successful people, and there is no better teacher of resilience than failure.

If you don’t pick yourself up by your own tail or bootstraps, then no one else will do it for you. Learn to advise and assist yourself.

Day 17

Talk about three things that make you seriously ‘HAPPY?

Pen it down. Think. It could be small or no matter how big. Materialistic or real. Important is to be happy. You feeling at peace. It could be your me time you give to yourself or family time. Meeting with friends or going out for dining. Taking vacations or short break as staycation. Travelling or watching movies sitting at your own home. It can be anything.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Oscar Wilde

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. Live in the moment.

My list of three things are the following.

1: Meditation/Walking

The first thing that I do in the morning is to do meditation and take a walk for almost 40 minutes whenever I get time in the day. I feel great after the doing meditation and going for a walk as I get the feeling that I have done something fruitful with my day for wellbeing of my mental health and taking care of my body.

2: Reading

Just like food is must for body, learning is must for mind. I must learn something new every day. Books are my constant companions. If I read at least one hour in a day a good book, I feel blessed. Nothing pleases me as much as reading a great work of a great mind.

3: Writing

Writing is like my mental work-out. I have to write to express my thoughts. It is an expression of a new knowledge in my own words. I write my journal on my blog daily nowadays.

Sometime, I am busy writing a book and feel great if I get some new idea of a chapter in the morning. Occasionally I even write two or three chapters in day. Also i devote my fix time for my content writing getting it published with renowned online magazine and newspapers.

It gives a high when I write something good that is appreciated and liked by my readers.

Day 18

How would you describe the state of mental health to a stranger?

Personally, I have been receiving various but similar answer to this question. While reading this, you are free to write exactly what you feel like. No force, no boundaries. I promise you won’t be judged. I have come across people whom if given a piece of advice stating that ‘Don’t worry everything will be fine. You will be fine. It happens. Learn to move on.’ Trust me you will be blocked forever. So, I feel at times it important just to be there. There to listen. Not to reply.

If I have to answer here personally for myself, I would say:

The one word that describe me and my mindset is KINDNESS.

It is much more than just an act.

Kindness can mean different things to different people. The meaning is how YOU choose to show it. Be it through empathyacceptancelovekind gesturesthoughtfulnessoptimism, the possibilities are entirely up to you. Kindness might look like being helpful or showing empathy. It may mean doing nice things without expecting nice things in return.

Kindness is beauty.

We are humans, and therefore, we make mistakes. We can be kind in our response to ourselves and others when those mistakes occur. This means thinking before speaking, forgiving before seeking revenge, being patientlovinghelping, affectionate with others and thinking about long-term relationships instead of short-term pride. If we could all remember that no one of us is perfect, we would be a lot kinder to each other. Offer grace, be kind.

I will end this here with just one line in the end,

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”

Day 19

If you had to explain how to look after your mental heath to an alien, what would you say?

Fiction speaks a thousand words:

Imagine just casually walking home in the daytime from somewhere. You aren’t too far from it, but you can see the house in the distance. You are completely unaware of your surroundings; no warnings; no signs of anything. You feel safe, content. Suddenly, the sky around you begins to turn a crimson red, and quickly— very quickly. The air becomes toxic and burns every time you breathe, and each footstep you take makes your legs and knees feel weaker. You begin to sprint home in hopes to push through this. You see your house get farther from your view as you run toward it. Your safe zone is no longer there; it’s getting farther away by the inch; foot; yard; meter; mile; kilometre. You are not going home. You are alone, and will suffer alone. As you lose your breath and begin to slow down, you realize the pain in your body and collapse completely. Struggling and unable to get up, you keep trying to reach for home. The wind gets thicker and harder to breathe, and the pain becomes more immense. It feels as if gravity became 20x stronger than it used to be. As you helplessly take a look around, the sky and ground have turned to a pitch black. Everything is now nothing, and here you are, being forced into this empty void, with no one there to help you. As your vision begins to fade and you lose your final breaths of air, you feel the emptiness, hopelessness, and helplessness reside and grow within you. Everything slowly centres and fades to black.

Now your turn 🙂

Using an Analogy, I will try to explain what one can feel:

I’m a bird.
I wear my achievements as vivid, kaleidoscopic colours on my wings. Every day, people wake to find me soaring joyfully through the air.

The adults gaze at me as I fly past them. They hear my carefree, light-hearted squawks and see my magnificent accomplishments and shower me with reverence.
“Kids,” they say. "That bird is so impressive. Look how he’s grown into a responsible, strong animal. Work hard, and someday you’ll be like him.”

On the most overcast days my markings become brighter against the murky grey sky; my laugh becomes more energetic amidst the ambience of gloom. They admire me. Idolize me.

Every night I bid farewell to the people and retreat to my nest, a crude, fracturing home built from splintered twigs. I rip the festive colourings on my wings off and toss them to the ground. They reveal deep, hideous gashes, piercing red on my black plume. As I sing myself to sleep, my voice comes out gravelly, strained, as if thrown into an icy river and neglected.

When I wake in the mornings I clip the colourings back on. I drink gallons of water to massage my aching throat. I wipe the tears off my feathers before soaring out to greet the people once more.

Thanks for reading. It helps a lot to know people can see what one is going through 🙂

Day 20

If money was no object, what would you do/buy to make yourself happy?

A day of complete Freedom, where nothing applies, no rules, no laws, no obligations, no compulsions, just Me how I was intended and the rest of the world. There’s no work, no kept time, no bad thoughts, we are enslaved by our need to be everybody’s version of you but who you are, forcing each personality disorders, bullying other, hurting, stealing just being the worst version of ourselves. People are not smiling and being serine. It gets so emotional in distraught to constantly watch people wear masks all day being guilted into pushing your” inner nice self” to the fullest. Society deems a forever bias “everyman for themselves” repertoire.

Day 21

Talk about one of your biggest fears. Be honest.

Let’s talk. Pen it down. Share it with me. I will share mine here 🙂

My deepest fear was letting go of people who no longer served my purpose and who were nothing more than a habit. I deeply feared of letting go of all that toxicity, negativity because I was so accustomed to them that without all of it, I knew I would be empty. One very fine day, I learnt that I do not deserve to face this shit and bring myself pain. I decided to cut that diseased part from myself, bleed and finally wait patiently to heal.

My deepest fear was about acting upon my gut feeling because I really feared that it would turn out to be wrong. If only I had known that these feelings are messages from the soul, my story could have been all together very different. I finally faced this fear of mine by falling and then pulling myself together again to stand upright.

My deepest fear was of letting things happen as they happen. I always wanted to control everything and took those so-called necessary steps to make things happen my way. When I finally learnt that what has to happen will happen and my any effort will not change the course of it’s happening, everything changed for good in my life. I faced this fear by experiencing deep pain, but that surprisingly made me strong.

I still have many fears and they are still patiently waiting to be faced.

Day 22

What’s the biggest lesson you have learned about having good mental health?

5 lessons learnt during 2020:

  1. Utilizing our time is completely in our hands. If we are restricted from going out, we can either while away our time sleeping and watching Netflix, or we can make some good use of our time. I used my lockdown time to enhance my writing skills by taking up various courses and getting my articles published.
  2. We can adapt very quickly to a new way of life. When the pandemic started, we were all very scared of the uncertain future. Now, life has started going back to a new normal. We have all adapted ourselves to this new normal.
  3. Technology and digital revolution are critical for long term sustenance. The world has seen more technological revolution during this pandemic than ever before, and the companies that have really survived well are those that were digitally enabled. I have noticed people who had never used computers are now holding multiple Zoom meetings one after the other. Technology and Digital world is the future.
  4. Health is important – physical and mental. This year has taken a toll on our mental and physical health. We have been tested to the extreme, but we have survived this situation because we remained strong. It is critical to take care of our mental and physical well being.
  5. You can’t always plan everything in life, but you can definitely change your plans according to the situation. I had a set of plans for this year, which involved travelling to multiple countries. Well, all those plans went down the drain, but I decided to make new goals on the spot that did not require me to travel.

2020 taught us that we are stronger than we can imagine. Give us some time, and we can adapt ourselves to any way of life, with a smile on our faces.

Day 23

What triggers your anxiety/depression? How can you manage that?

My own approach is that anxiety and depression are both normal human emotions that only get trotted out if we need them. I don’t buy into the idea that they are illnesses, though in strength they can certainly make us sick, and some people do get stuck in them.

Anxiety is fear for our well-being. If we have unresolved fears of harm from our past, we may be able to suppress them for years, but eventually they leak out as anxiety.

Depression is a warning that we cannot handle any more emotional pain. Unresolved emotional pain from out past, plus any incoming emotional pain from our present, is hurting us. Depression is so unpleasant because it is pushing us to resolve that pain, even though doing so can be anguishing. Once it is resolved, we feel better.

These are quick, thumb-nail descriptions, but they are more than most people have, so a lot of people are very confused about depression and anxiety. They think they are horrible sicknesses that you get if you are unlucky, when actually they are just very strong nudges from your mind to deal with unresolved emotional pain.

The emotional pain often comes from our childhood, because childhood brains aren’t mature enough to resolve it. But it can come from any time.

A good therapist is often the best way to work through it.

Day 24

Think about someone who has negatively impacted your mental health. Write them a letter.

It can be anything or anyone. Even at times small talks or insults hurts. The best way is to talk it out or if not then write a letter. It will great if you can hand it over but in case if you don’t still by writing it down it’s out from your heart.

I will help you here by stating points people should say or shouldn’t say;

You should say the following 5 things:

  1. “I see that you’re having a hard time.” People feel better when they’re understood and not judged or analyse.
  2. “I’m here for you.” Depression is very isolating and alienating. Depressed people feel a sense of relief when they don’t feel so alone in their pain.
  3. “You don’t have to figure this out on your own.” Depressed people often believe that they have to figure out on their own how to fix themselves. Then they feel guilty when inevitably, they can’t. They feel a lot less guilty and a lot less overwhelmed when they’re reassured that they don’t have to fix things all by themselves.
  4. “Are you thinking of hurting yourself?” You should always ask a depressed person if they’re having suicidal thought or plans, because you could prevent a tragedy by getting them immediate help.
  5. “Let’s get you some professional help.” Depression is a mental illness and it needs to be treated by qualified mental health professionals. Just like any illness, it won’t go away by thinking different thoughts or going for a brisk walk.

You shouldn’t say the following:

  1. “Snap out of it.” This is an illness. They can’t just snap out of it. They need mental health help in the form of psychotherapy and often they’ll need medication as well to alleviate their symptoms and their suffering.
  2. “You brought this on yourself.” People don’t make themselves depressed with a bad attitude. They become depressed because of a profound loss they’ve experienced and/or because they’re genetically prone to depression. This type of statement only makes them feel bad about themselves and more depressed.
  3. “It’s not so bad.” To the depressed person who feels helpless, hopeless and unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel, it really is that bad. When you minimize their experience you only make them feel worse.
  4. “It’s going to be okay.” You have no idea how it’s going to be. Telling a depressed person something like this will only make them lose their trust in you, because they’re not sure if it’s going to be okay at all. They don’t need your cheer-leading; they need your empathy right now.

Day 25

What was the turning point of your mental health?

Well, I will narrate here a short brief from a once upon a time a student. I found it inspiring. Share with me your turning points.

Growing up, I didn’t know the importance of mental health because no one taught me about it. Hell, I didn’t even know what those words meant. HAHAHA

I had everything figured out, or so they thought. People made me feel that whatever it was that I was going through, were not valid so I hid it from them. That took a toll on my mental health. I hated everything and everyone. Hated how I was not happy nor sad but numb…. I thought I was just “sad” and it was just the hormones because teenagers tend to react that way but no… All I had were thoughts about taking away my life when it wasn’t mine for the taking.

I majored in Psychology and that’s when I started healing. I learned to value myself more, and the things I was so guilty of doing because it’s not ‘normal’ became my comfort. I accepted my demons and promised to help others who are struggling just like me. Studying about the nature of human mind and behaviour helped me grasp the importance of having a healthy mind. I am still improving, but I am much better than before.

Day 26

How does social media makes you feel?

Social media use and mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression are correlated. This is not to say that using social media will cause you to have a mental health issue, but rather using social media in a specific way, such as overusing it may increase your chances of developing social anxiety or major depressive disorder.

People are constantly on social media to see what their friends have posted and what everyone on their feed have been up to in their own “lives”. These “lives” may not always depict the true reality that the individual lives in. Some people portray a completely different person on social media by flaunting cars, houses, and material objects they truly don’t own. The people watching the feeds of these people with the fake lives will compare their own lives and engage in a social comparison that will cause them to be sad because they might feel that they aren’t as “successful” as that person showing off all the materialistic stuff.

Further, people are constantly posting material onto facebook, instagram, and snapchat, as well as other social media outlets, anxiously waiting for responses and likes so that they can feel that they are apart of the entire network and not feel excluded. When an individual posts a picture or video and does not get as many likes or responses as they expected, they begin to feel left out and this is where the addiction to social media stems from. They will usually go and utilize other measures to get more followers and more likes so that they can feel satisfied in the social internet world.

Despite all the satisfaction they may receive on social media outlets when it comes to in-person communication, they begin to lack the social skills needed to communicate with others outside of the screen.

This is where problems arise. When people are so used to talking on social media or text, they fear human interaction and can essentially develop social anxiety.

On the other hand, if social media is utilized to learn new material or to promote something positive such as education or activism of some sort, it can only result in positive outcomes and not so much mental ailments.

Day 27

Do we control our thoughts or our thoughts control us?

First, we are not our thoughts!

Second, our thoughts do not control us.

And third, YES, we do have the ability not only to control our thoughts but also to optimize the way we use our incredible supercomputer – our brain!

You can do a system upgrade of your supercomputer with a bit of maintenance.

Try these 7 tips to get started.


ONE. Work hard to let go of anger and resentment.

Disappointment and feeling wronged or treated unjustly in some way is a normal part of life. This feeling is, at some point, inevitable. You cannot always control every event or situation, but you can control how you react to it.

How?

  • Take a step back and re-evaluate the situation that is causing you stress: is staying angry really worth your time, your energy, and your health? In many cases it’s better to let go, learn from the event, and move forward. Explore different options where you can focus your energy, such as dedicating time to doing something you are good at, or to working on developing a skill that will be useful to you in your personal development or career.

TWO. Change your attitude towards mistakes.

Being self-critical can be a big factor in having negative thoughts. So you’ve made your share of mistakes, or perhaps you made a really big single mistake. It is something we all do, and we do it often. It’s an integral part of becoming an adult. Take a different approach to your mistakes so that you can grow instead of staying in the same rut.

How?

  • Try a different strategy of viewing your past by forgiving yourself for mistakes that you made. Reflect on them, learn from them, but don’t dwell or hold on to them. Give yourself the time to think what you did, which results you got, and what you could have done differently. This applies to all areas of your life in which you feel you didn’t achieve what you wanted or maybe underperformed in some way: your relationships and personal life, your professional career, or your education. When you change how you relate to mistakes, you will give yourself more freedom to manage your future more successfully.

THREE. Declutter your mind with meditation.

It’s important to keep in mind that we are not our thoughts, and that there is a way to see our thoughts from a distance to be able to evaluate them better. You can do this by practicing meditation. It does not take a lot of time, it’s simple to follow, and it can be beneficial: it can improve your focus, declutter your mind, give you a greater sense of calm, and help you to feel more relaxed and positive about your life.

How?

  • It is a guided meditation that starts with 10, and advances to 15 and 20 minute sessions. It’s easy and fun, and a great option for absolute beginners.

FOUR. Practice gratitude every day.

Gratitude rewires our brain to think about positive things, the things that we have going for us, instead of the things we do not have (or have not yet accomplished) and that can leave us feeling worried, anxious, frustrated, and even unhappy.

How?

  • Create a gratitude journal and write in it for 5 minutes each morning; list 3 things you are grateful for. It can be the simplest of things, such as having a warm bed to sleep in, a roof over your head, a family that loves you, food in your fridge, a dog or cat that you have as your pet, having an education that allows you to read and write, etc.

FIVE. Grow your mindset.

Henry Ford once said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” In other words, if you believe you can think more positively, you can make it happen. Conversely, if you don’t believe in the power of positive thinking, you can easily get stuck in a rut of negativity where you can’t see a way out.

How?

  • Start nurturing a growth mindset: believe that you can develop your qualities and skills through deliberate and continuous efforts, and that you can change and grow with your life experiences. If there’s something about your mindset you don’t like, you can change it for the better.

SIX. When you think something is too hard to do (“I can’t do this, it’s impossible!”), try a different approach by asking yourself, “Why not?”

Maybe you’re procrastinating, or “awfulizing” or just postponing a task or problem you think is insurmountable. You end up doing nothing about it. But there are different ways to approach the problem.

How?

  • Think carefully if there is something else hiding behind your procrastination. Maybe it is fear of not being able to do something successfully. Next time you feel like procrastinating, rather than immediately saying “I can’t” ask yourself where the resistance is coming from. Find out what it is so you can do something about it. The benefit? Whenever you say “why not?” you win over fear. There is something really powerful when we leave a little space open for possibilities, instead of shutting the door in our own face. It’s a subtle change in attitude towards ourselves than can have a tremendous impact in our lives.

SEVEN. Give your mind a break by challenging your body.

Doing physical exercise, even if it is targeted and short, can do wonders for your brain. It can improve your brain’s cognitive performance, problem solving ability, and even boost long-term memory. But even better than that: a physical challenge can calm the chaos of your thoughts and turn your mind to simple things.

How?

  • Find the time in the morning.
  • Whether it’s a morning yoga routine or a 20-minute run through the neighbourhood, the goal is to stay consistent. Making your workout short will increase your likelihood of sticking to the habit so you can feel the benefits in the long run.

Day 28

Is there anything good about anxiety? Think!

No. Unless and until it teaches you something. Do share what has it taught to you!

Day 29

Write five things you love about yourself and explain why?

I will be sharing mine here and would be waiting for yours:

  • My desire to learn. Curiosity is something that keeps me going.
  • I love books. I am an avid reader.
  • I put my family, friends and loved one about everything.
  • I like my simple sense – Simple Living High Thinking.
  • I see the best in people, no matter what the circumstances may be.

Day 30

Write a letter to God/The Universe or whomever you believe in about your mental health.

Be open and share it. Well, a person like me can only opt for a gratitude. So, here is my version 🙂

Enjoy reading.

Dear God,

Thank you, dear god for this beautiful life, and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for all the strength that help me keep going, thank you for everything! I am truly grateful to you for blessing me with such a wonderful life. I am obliged to have a lovely family and friends. I believe people don’t thank you enough for their lives. People tend to be so blinded by the flaws in their lives that they forget there is a happy side to too. I am lucky to have enough food, a shelter and the much needed warmth and love in my life. I will never be able to thank you enough for the miraculous life I’ve been blessed with.


With this we come to end for our thirty day journal...
Be Happy, challenge, Forgiving, friendship, happiness, hobbies, home, Learn to Love, Mother, Perfection, Rejection, Self-Help, Stranger, Summer Break, Technology

Scribe Magazine – A premium Life Style Magazine


https://scribemag.com/

Author’s Profile on the Magazine

https://scribemag.com/author/lamiya/

Below are the links to all the articles published on ‘CAFESNCITIES MAGAZINE’ till date.

1. Birthdays not so special, yet very special now!

https://scribemag.com/birthdays-not-so-special-yet-very-special-now/

2. Flattery: Being nice or just being fake?

https://scribemag.com/flattery-being-nice-or-just-being-fake/

3. Get Creative During Quarantine!

https://scribemag.com/get-creative-during-quarantine/

4. Blessed to be FORTUNATE!

https://scribemag.com/eternally-grateful-to-my-mother/

5. Core of your Existence

https://scribemag.com/core-of-your-existence/

6. Education: Let’s bring back the Magic!

https://scribemag.com/mental-health-and-education-system/

7. Lifeline: Me for My Father; My Father for ME!

https://scribemag.com/my-father-my-lifeline/

8. To be or not to be nice at work?

https://scribemag.com/improving-office-environment/

9. Realizations of Pandemic!

https://scribemag.com/realizations-of-a-pandemic/

10. Remembering Not to Forget to be Grateful: Happy Teachers Day!

https://scribemag.com/remembering-teachers-on-their-day/

11. I Believe to Believe in You!

https://scribemag.com/i-believe-to-believe-in-you/

12. A small incident that became our Routine

https://scribemag.com/nostalgia-a-way-of-gratitude/

13. Distractions, Is it Hampering?!

https://scribemag.com/distraction-is-it-hampering/

14. A Day I will Remember, Throughout My Life!

https://scribemag.com/childrens-day-a-memory/

15. Man Strips on Dubai Flight: Importance of Mental Wellbeing!

https://scribemag.com/depression-the-importance-of-mental-well-being/

16. CRITICISM – Always gets qualified as HATE

https://scribemag.com/criticism-how-to-judge-whether-its-constructive-or-destructive/

17. What an Unexpected Experience!

https://scribemag.com/covid19-an-experience/

18. What a Memorable Evening with a Stranger but a Companion!

https://scribemag.com/an-evening-well-spent-with-a-stranger/

19. Have the face masks become the shields to hide ‘True Emotions’?

https://scribemag.com/hiding-emotions-behind-masks/

20. Is Valentine’s Day all about PREACHINGS?

https://scribemag.com/is-valentines-day-all-about-preachings/

21. Dedication

https://scribemag.com/dedication-dilemma-of-a-doctor/

22. Are the ‘Goals’ rightly set for Success?

https://scribemag.com/how-important-is-setting-goals/

23. Let us celebrate this EID by staying humble

https://scribemag.com/eid-amidst-covid19/

24. Do not be a VICTIM – especially in the mental health care

https://scribemag.com/narcissistic-personality-disorder-ways-to-fix-it/

Uncategorized

Stories Published with TOI


1. The friend who taught me to face adversities with a smile

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/soul-curry/the-friend-who-taught-me-to-face-adversities-with-a-smile/articleshow/69413970.cms

2. He found solace in forgiving

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/soul-curry/he-found-solace-in-forgiving/articleshow/69790167.cms

3. How adversity can turn strangers into friends

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/soul-curry/how-adversity-can-turn-strangers-into-friends/articleshow/73661418.cms

Photo by Mental Health America (MHA) on Pexels.com
Be Happy, happiness, home, Learn to Love, Mother, Self-Help

A Small Incident that Became Our Routine


Posted in Cafes N Cities A premium Lifestyle magazine: https://cafesncities.com/nostalgia-a-way-of-gratitude/

It was just like any other day. Nothing special or planned! Day was going ‘ON’ at its normal pace. However, all of sudden my husband offered to take us out on a long drive. Me and my little angel readily agreed! It hardly took us 30 mins to get ready and we were on wheels! Cold breeze and lovely gathering of clouds in the sky were complimenting us for the drive. We almost drove for 100 kms with a single stopover for ice-cream and coffee for ourselves. Just then while sitting on the bench on the lake side watching the huge mountains, I saw my daughter innocently licking her ice-cream.

She was looking so adorable that I couldn’t take my eyes off her! 

Realizing that getting busy with our daily chores how at times we become ungrateful for forgetting that happiness lies in the small things in our day to day life! How often do we take time out to be grateful and live just in the moment appreciating all that we have rather than complaining about all that we want, desire or hunt for…?

Few moments of silence and not knowing what happened to me, I started to tease her and play around with her. I was cuddling her, making her laugh her heart out. She hugged me and started jumping out of excitement. The innocence in her smile, crispiness in her voice was making the day more beautiful. Making me feel blessed and grateful for all that I have in life.

As soon as she was done with her ice-cream, I took her to a nearby pleasantry shop and asked her to get something for her.

She started to pick up all sorts of colourful toys, filling them up in her little hands and tiny pockets! I couldn’t stop laughing. Just then she found an ‘ELSA TUSUM DOLL’ and threw the rest of everything away! I took that doll in hand, made it a puppet and started teasing her, calling her name in a blabbering tune…. “We got one more pet name for her! Our secret.”  Our conservations started with that doll making her a puppet, taking her to a fairyland that got converted into a story…

Not realizing that almost 20 mins had passed, we were busy playing like this. People have stopped and gathered around enjoying our ‘Doll Puppet Show’. That was the most unforgettable minutes wherein we had forgotten everything else, especially me! I was just in that moment with her! I came back to present with the sound of applause around me. Feeling embarrassed at the same time, glad, I got up, smiling to everyone, took her in my arms and went to the counter. Happily, purchased the ELSA DOLL and left.

It has been a couple of years now, my little angel from single digit has grown to double digit with her age, still our puppet shows in the morning and odd times in the day to play around with the tiny little doll is ‘ON’ making us both forget our actual AGE. 

Posted in CafesNCities Magazine: https://cafesncities.com/nostalgia-a-way-of-gratitude/

Be Happy, challenge, happiness, home, Learn to Love, Perfection, Self-Help

October – Diary


Photo by Alena Koval on Pexels.com

Day 1

Since Long time I have wanted to start my day with writing my mind here, Pouring down my feelings, emotions, sentiments, experience and all whatever I have gone through. Finally thought why not start from today itself. As its 1st October today!

What’s so special for today? Well everything. We humans have a tendency to be ungrateful, complaining more and being less thankful. I have learned my hard lessons from life and the 1st and foremost is of being ‘Thankful’. I am starting my beautiful day today with a smile, thanking for everything – EVERYTHING in my life. I have witness we can stay happy if we complain less and look our life with all the happenings in it with a different attitude.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

Here, today I am elated as my daughter’s exams got over yesterday. Ah, what a relief truly. Though still she is in her primary grades but the stress of her exams for more than two weeks I felt was on me. I felt as if I was appearing for my board exams. I studied each and every subject with her in detail to make her understand and prepare for exams. No doubt I revised my old portion and learned a lot of new things. So, Yes I am grateful.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

She took me to my previous days of learning. I was forced to recall my combined studies that I had been doing with my friends and classmates. What fun it used to be. More gossip and less studies (I guess that’s what combined studies are! Isn’t it?). Midnight tea breaks and instant Maggie Noodles were the centre of attraction rather than the focus for the result and marks. We have one or two black sheep in the herd, who were studious and were behind the ranks but the rest all of us were badass cracked heads 🙂

With all the fuss and drama that we went through jointly for the past two weeks were thrilling. So finally yeah, here I am celebrating the HALF YEARLY EXAMS completed and looking forward to the ANNUAL EXAMS now.

Day 2

Photo by bongkarn thanyakij on Pexels.com

Just two days for exams to get over and marks have started to pour in. MCQ marks! First I learned the abbreviation of MCQ – Multiple Choice Questions! I am not so into the marks that are scored for this year exams but still I am! Mind understands that we are going through hard times. This Pandemic situation has made everyone adopt the change with new lifestyles. I am debating these days with myself for marks scored and grades received! Is it truly important? Especially in today’s situation! When all our children are taking online classes. It’s the virtual school they are attending. More than eight months have passed and they have not met their friends, or talked with them personally or hugged them. No more going out of home, or doing any physical activities. Everyone is just trapped in their own secured homes for the sake of safety! So what children are actually memorising by course learning and understanding, are these things gonna work for them in future or in practical life? I agree knowledge is important but how we use it and implement it in our practical life is altogether a different chapter.

Day 3

Photo by Tatiana Syrikova on Pexels.com

Well, Writing my journal here is On & OFF. So Day 3 here precisely can be the other day also :-). Anyways, in no time it was the weekend. From March 2020, since this Pandemic started everyday is a working day, at the same time all days are like weekends. Full family has ‘Work from home’ schedules. School from home. Initially it was great but now it feels like loads of never ending work. Household chores, other works, professional work, personal work, everything has come under one roof. Pretty sure making everyone go crazy now. Most of us must have gotten acquainted with this new lifestyle, but am sure there are still many who are struggling to get adjusted and adopt this. It’s not easy I know. But with no choice left we have to learn to cope up with this routine.

Anyways, so yeah as I said it was a weekend and I decided to treat myself with movie night after a long long time . . . The other day I was reading reviews about the movie ‘Five Feet Apart’ released in 2019. Release Date: 15 March 2019 (USA)
Genre: Drama, Romance
Director: Justin Baldoni
Written by: Mikki Daughtry and Tobia Iaconis
Cast: Haley Lu Richardson, Cole Sprouse, Moises Arias

The movie is influenced by the Novel ‘Five Feet Apart’ by Rachael Lippincott released on 20th November 2018.

“Humans touch our first form of communication. Safety, Security all in a gentle clasp of fingers or a brush of lips on your soft cheek connects us when we’re happy, bolsters us in times of fear, excites us in times of passion and love. We need that touch from someone we love as much as we need our breath but I never understood the importance of touch. His touch. Until I couldn’t have it. So if you’re watching this, and you’re able, touch him. Touch her. Life’s too short to waste a second.”

Yes, so, the entire movie is centrally focused on the importance of human touch and the fact that Stella realized the importance of it when she couldn’t touch the person, she loved more than herself, Will. 

She realized the importance of touch when she longed to hug her best friend, but she couldn’t ever again. “Could you ever love someone, you can never touch,” This question, questions our sanity and our beliefs of love. The answer lies in ourselves, would ever fall for someone, whose lips wouldn’t ever fall on you? Would you stay away from them, just to keep them alive? Would their survival ever mean to you more than yours?

Stella and Will, the protagonists of the drama unknowingly meet in a hospital and they are obliged to keep apart six feet at all times. However, Stella steals an inch from Cystic Fibrosis, and the disease was indeed indebted to her, by robbing all her joys of her adolescence and the distance is reduced to 5 feet. So, that’s why it’s titled Five Feet Apart.  Apart from the premier protagonists, you’d love the tale that’s intricately crafted with a huge amount of amour and even all the other characters like Barb, Poe, Julie, and Abby, my personal favourite.

Few of my ‘Favourite Dialogues’ from the movie

“If I’m going to die, I’d like to actually live first.”

“How long will I live my life afraid of what-ifs?”

“I’m tired of living without really living.”

“…I want to be fearless and free. It’s just life, Will. It’ll be over before we know it.”

…Don’t think about what you’ve lost. Think of how much you have to gain. Live, Stella.”

If this year has taught me anything, it’s that grief can destroy a person.”

“I think a well-drawn cartoon can say more than words ever could, you know? It could change minds.”

If you read this till the end, take a deep breath, feel it, feel the life oozing inside you. Be grateful for the breath, be grateful for your life, express your gratitude for everything as not everyone receives the joy you’re treading by.

Day 4

Preparation for upcoming B’day!

A Bundle of Joy

It’s my birthday month. I can see the excitement for my upcoming birthday all around me. All my loved one are trying to hide it from me though I can easily feel it. Preparation and planning to surprise me have started much before then I thought. My daughter being the most EXCITED to celebrate it made up a gang with a couple of my close friends and families. All the secret phone calls and their murmuring kept me hooked up and suspicious. The more they tried to hide it, the more I would peep in to destroy their planning. Whole week turned out to be like the ‘Hide & Seek’ game in our house. Can’t wait for the final surprise on my Birthday. I can be a spoiler but I don’t want to be! So, yeah here I am supporting them all but keeping quite and acting as I don’t know anything. . .

But the secret of my life at my home front is ‘I am the Planner’. Planning and implementation can’t be done without me! So YES, I am there but NOT there. . . He He He. . .

Day 5

Birthday Celebrations

There are Angels on this earth, who made my Birthday a Blessed Day!

The day started with a fantastic surprise by my beloved daughter and her father. I could hear their whispers in my sleep in the early morning and knew they were planning out something for the morning and just waiting for me to wake up. Here, as I knew something is cooking up I took my own sweet time to wake up! My daughter was sleeping with me in the early morning but when I opened my eyes to get up I couldn’t find her beside me. I had to scream at both of them to signal that I have woken up. Initially I thought to creep in the Living Room and surprise them with whatever they were doing, but then as I said I didn’t want to be a spoiler so I had to call them to our to bedroom.

To my ‘Surprise’ they came up with a cup cake. Candle on top of it and two beautiful fresh ‘RED ROSE’. I was teasing my daughter by not blowing away the candle, she got hyper and stated MAMMA do it! After a few mins of teasing and having fun, I like a good baby did what I was asked to do and they hugged me singing the ‘Birthday Song’. On my Birthday I was not allowed to make breakfast. So I waited for the next surprise. My favourite Breakfast presented in the most elegant way. I truly cherished each and every moment of the morning.

My little angel got the ‘Birthday Card’ she has made at night and showed it to her father announcing proudly that I am the 1st one to wish mamma at midnight 12:00 O’clock. He looked at me and I couldn’t stop myself but to blush.

Then I was honoured with few of my favourite songs played in the background for almost half of the day. After lunch my little princess left to give a surprise to me in the evening stating have the gala movie time with DAD (daughters really grow up fast). She has planned everything with selection of the movie, the ambience, décor, and few snacks. I was thoroughly enjoying the pampering. In between yes calls and messages for the ‘Birthday Wishes’ that I kept reverting.

Now after the movie as soon as I planned to take a nap, the doorbell rang. I had my little munchkins on the door. Had a bigger surprise when few more friends arrived with freshly baked homemade cake. This was the surprise! The real fun started. My daughter along with our family and friends had planned this ‘BIG BOX’ surprise. Wherein my gift was wrapped in two layers of boxes with lots of confetti’s and handwritten wishes. My task was to guess who has written which wish and then only I can proceed.

Guess What? I guessed all the wishes written by whom WRONG! Now this was the most exciting part. I kept guessing wrong. None of my answers were correct. The room was filled with laughter and at the same time it was upsetting few and infuriating other rest of them. But I was enjoying it thoroughly. Finally as they had no choice left, I got all my gifts as they were for me!

Day didn’t end here! As soon as everyone disbursed for the day and I was relaxing on the couch, just 15 mins to go for the clock to strike twelve and change the date and day – the doorbell rang again. I was like who could be now at this point of time in the night? My little one opened the door and I had one more surprise. I had one of my best buddies at the door! she came up with her little munchkin and of course a DELICIOUS CAKE. Again an advance well planned surprise which my daughter knew. We cut the cake exactly at 12:00 and had it with a lot of fun and chit chats!

What A Day! I truly had the best time. Every year I think this is the best BIRTHDAY I had till now, but the later year proves me wrong with the previous year giving me ample memories to cherish with the best time spent with my loved ones.

Uncategorized

I Believe to Believe in You!


Feelings pen down in the form of POEM

I have put my faith in the Belief…
To believe in you!

You said when “I am ‘THERE’!”
I am ‘THERE’!
Today I want YOU to ask yourself for OUR sake,
‘Are you really ‘THERE’?

I was a DEAD flower preserved in between the pages of life,
You came, picked me up and gave the life, the fragrance back…
Making me bloom once again!

I was lost in my DARK world, not even bordering to take the minimum doses of light….
You came providing me all the required SUNSHINE I needed!

I was all a STRAIGHT face without forming any curves on my lips…
You came SMILING to brighten my day, teaching me that it is the best exercise for the heart and face.

I was all COLD on the peak of negligence mode for myself, losing all my CHARM and chirpiness…
You came with the most innocent and captivating style of CAPTURING anybody’s heart!

HERE, I started to Believe that I BELIEVE in You!
But then all of a sudden, World went upside down!
Everyone now is trapped with this new unseen virus and disease!
Now when we all are learning to adopt this new lifestyle,
Coping up with uncertainties and natural disasters,
I started feeling you not being ‘THERE’!

You are there but not THERE!

I am struggling daily, thinking how to express myself to get you back, making you realize that
I miss you

Those days have come now for which I wasn’t prepared at all!
I laugh to make you smile, but these seems like an impossible task
to be achieved ever!

I am putting all my efforts with full confidence to get you back!
To conquer the unachievable, but it seems like VAIN to make you happy and get you back on track!

I am day by day deteriorating, failing to make you understand how much you are WANTED and NEEDED!

Now, whenever you say I am THERE!
Why do I miss the ZEST?
Why do I miss the US?
Why do I miss the depth of our conversations, jokes, cute fights and healthy arguments?
Why do I feel everything has come to a STANDSTILL?

Yes, you are THERE, I agree
PERFECTLY fulfilling the duties of multiple characters in your life!
But, in between these multiple characters of yours, I am going crazy searching for ‘YOU’ and only ‘YOU’!

I just want to convey a simple message to you here, that
If you are ‘THERE’
Everything is ‘THERE’
Else I can’t even think and express,
And explain to you the reality that will be faced by all your loved ones!
That how Everything will get RUINED and LOST!!!

I want YOU to Believe now in my Belief –
I Believe that I Believe in YOU!
It’s only you who can keep this belief going –
“If I am ‘THERE’, I am ‘THERE’!”

Published in Cafes N Cities Magazine: https://cafesncities.com/i-believe-to-believe-in-you/

Learn to Love, Self-Help

Remembering not to Forget to be Grateful. “Happy Teachers Day”


Remembering Not to Forget to be Grateful: Happy Teachers Day!

Full article can be read on the link given above.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

“Are we what we are today, because it was destined, or we grew with the help of our teachers?” Today when everyone is taking this opportunity to talk about teachers and show the gratitude through various means like making cards, doing online ‘thanks’ programs, writing articles, sending emails and doing telephonic talks to wish them, even I want to pay tribute to all my teachers in my life and be a part of this great celebration! By observing myself for what I am today, I want to thank not only to my academic teachers but also to them who have been a part of my journey into moulding me and helped me become what I am today.

Photo by Julia M Cameron on Pexels.com

Teachers are those who when the students are guided through a process of self – transformation that is much larger than mere memorization of facts come in picture. Education is no doubt about creating an environment and support system in which a person change who they are! Teachers mediate and guide that transformation.

Moving further with the grades I cherish my memories with my English Teacher in higher secondary school, who at that time became the ‘ANCHOR’ for my life, saving my best friend from an emotional tornado. She became our philosopher and guide like a ray of light in the dark tunnel leading us towards the bright road. We will always be grateful to her. Such incidents in the school of life wherein the various teachers have played an important role teaching us variety of subjects of life like values, common sense, respect, empathy and other qualities, are engraved so strongly on my heart that it has transformed me completely. Thanks indeed would be a very small word, still I want to Thanks to All who have been my teacher, my guide and philosopher supporting me in all situations of life, especially when I needed a hand to hold me and save me from falling down. Thanks for Changing my World. ‘Happy Teachers Day’!

Be Happy, challenge, happiness, Perfection, Rejection

To be or Not to be Nice at Work?


https://cafesncities.com/improving-office-environment/

Office Environment

  • To be or not to be nice at work?
Photo by Christina Morillo on Pexels.com

A person’s personality defines whether the person at work is nice or not. Many times, it’s a person’s character, and at times it’s forced or influenced for a change over due to work environment and pressure.

But I feel one should stay balanced at work and take things smartly. Pressure will always remain whether it’s a workplace, to achieve targets for your success or in life! How to deal with them is important. Being nice and generous genuinely always pay back. But one should not be so nice, that people walk over you.

By stating the correct and solid boundaries you can save yourself from getting damaged mentally. With the experience we can mention today that being nice is not bad. If you have the proper knowledge and experience about when to say ‘Yes’ and ‘NO’, it is not bad being nice. If you’re a kind person, express it. It’s good to be sunshine as many might have a cloudy day but won’t express it. Just be careful with the people who approach you only when needed and then disrespect you. Being nice is an art. Don’t let someone steal it from you. Protect your ideas at your workplace as we are living in a competitive world. So, it’s obvious to have competition all around. If someone assume you are weak – prove them wrong. Create and maintain balance, to be genuinely kind but professional. Be open to accept compliments or critics with grace, share your opinions with respect; expressive with your ideas; learn to share constructive critics but communicate it well, and don’t be a nerd.

Photo by energepic.com on Pexels.com

Develop yourself in both ways – socially and professionally in nature at work environment. Let your company get benefit more through its relaxed and comfortable employees. When an employee is not expressive at work, somehow, they stop themselves from giving they’re through input. Don’t be too friendly with all your work mates, as then they can take you for granted.

Being nice at work environment could possibly be respecting other people’s religion, race and culture. Being diplomatic according to me is not ‘nice’. You cannot spy on your workers by being nice. One should not violate the privacy of an individual. Be ethical with your work, cheating in any way won’t take you to a long way giving success. You might achieve it for a period but ultimately the truth and facts would be out someday, and you would be ruined. This applies to both out professional as well as personal life.

Stay clear with your priorities i.e., to work for the company, and not to please your colleagues. Prepare a plan on how you can achieve it. ‘Focus on the bigger picture in life’.

Photo by Moose Photos on Pexels.com

Stay strong: This difficult phase will help you, grow, once you have dealt with this situation successfully, you will feel stronger and more confident. Don’t let the office environment make you weak. Be a flexible listener. Be ready to give ears to other’s opinions, then give your piece of mind by staying rational. Avoid using mobile, maintain eye contact. Others should not feel ignored by you. Discourage gossip and gossipers. They just waste time for little entertainment. ‘AVOID’ is the remedy for them.

It’s up to us to stay nice at workplace by staying positive and maintain our dignity.

Be Happy, challenge, Forgiving, friendship, happiness, hobbies, home, Learn to Love, Mother, Perfection, Rejection, Reviews, Self-Help, Stranger, Summer Break, Technology

My Books – My Lifeline!


This blog is especially dedicated to the books – My Books! A Book where I am the AUTHOR! Few where I am CO-AUTHOR. Will be sharing my collection and contribution to the writing world. Also will keep on adding and updating for future references 🙂

One Step Ahead. Available worldwide on Amazon. Non-Fiction.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.
My 1st Book published worldwide on 17th December 2019

This book is a collection of various articles and works on non-fiction based on some real-life experiences. Subjects like Happiness, Hobbies, Challenges, Perfection, Relationships and Technology are covered in this book. Personally, I feel we all are full of emotions and sentiments. Knowledge is everywhere and can be enhanced more with experience. We can overcome all negativity and achieve anything through love, friendship, acceptance and hope. Destiny can be made and changed!

Take a look
Worldwide available. Non Fiction.

2. 3 Trimester of life.

They taught us what pain is… Sacrifice is their Middle name… Yes, they are CALLED as Mothers.

3 trimesters of life. Beginning of motherhood.

Real stories of the mother about the journey of 9 months of having a baby. Released on Mother’s Day.

Motherhood generally describes a part of woman’s life but the word often carries a woman’s world in itself. Being a girl, you are often asked to get married as soon as you enter valid age. Once you are married, the immortal question to plan a baby comes in the queue. then this story usually starts from the good news. It goes through a long journey of patience for nine months and ends with a melodious cry. This is a story every woman has lived. A story every girl imagines about.

https://www.instamojo.com/famian/3-trimesters-for-life/?ref=storehttps://www.instamojo.com/famian/3-trimesters-for-life/?ref=store

Use Name Lamiya Siraj in Reference.

3. One Above the God – MAA

One above the God – MAA

A special Anthology for Mother’s Day. Launched on 10th May 2020.

Mother – Yes a small word but carry a lot of strength and a power to hold things.

4. Papa – Hamara naam aapse hi hai!

Papa – hamara naam aapse hi hai! Lauch date 21st June 2020
An anthology for fathers to show our love, respect and gratitude for fathers across the world.
For fathers on Father’s Day!

As Father’s Day is jut around the corner, and when it comes to Papa, we never do anything special for them. Lets break this stereotype this time, and gift our father a book with a content on HIM.

5. Feel of Love

Feel of Love
Be Happy, challenge, happiness, Learn to Love, Perfection, Self-Help

The Magic of “Magical Power”


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We all have superpower that we are not completely aware of. We don’t even know the ways by which we can find out what ‘superpower’ we have unless there are such circumstances that reveal the powers. 

If we talk about simple magical feel or power, we felt any time in our life, can be smallest or something big achieved. If we start our day positively and end on a thanking note, am sure we would find more then one magical moment in one single day. It could be the smile of our parents, children, grandparents, friends or even a STRANGER!

I am sure if given a chance or asked a question about ‘Magical Power’ that one can have we might get many amazing answers and ideas for it. As now our world is full of creative minds. Also, necessities play a vital role in this.

Photo by Jonathan Andrew on Pexels.com

If same question asked to me on personal level. My answer to it: If I had a magic power, it would be to READ & CONTROL people with my mind for betterment. I am an imaginative person and I do believe in the power of magic as for me its confidence, will power and determination to achieve something you decide, desire or aim for. Magic is simply the manipulation of energy in its various forms. I believe things can be invoke into being, by intentions and focus.

I am sure we all have some talent that must have saved us magically from difficult situations time and again. It might be communication skills or to think smartly for a solution on immediate basis. Magic can be tapped into when we learn how to see it, feel it, sense it and then interact with it.

Be Happy, challenge, happiness, Learn to Love, Self-Help

Awesome Blogger Award


http://www.betulerbasi.com

Hi All,

I am happy to be nominated for AWESOME BLOGGER AWARD by Betul Erbasi. You can go and check her website for advance idea about writing. Since you are blogging, I am sure you all are interested in it. So, give it a try and check it out.

Awesome Blogger Award

Rules:

  • Thank the person that nominated you
  • Tag the post with #awesomebloggeraward
  • Answer the questions you were asked
  • Nominate at least 5 bloggers and inform them of their nominations
  • Give them 10 new questions

Betul’s questions for ME:

  1. What do you like about yourself? Positive Attitude, my contagious smile and ready to help nature.
  2. What you don’t like about yourself? At times my immediate reactions that are mistaken by people as ‘Short-tempered’! Sometimes quick to judge and come to conclusion.
  3. What are the most important characteristics you look for in a good friend? Honesty, truthful, lively and easy going. I stay away from selfish and cunning people in my life.
  4. If you were too hungry and too sleepy, would you choose sleep or food first? Without a second thought, ‘Food First and then Sleep Peacefully’.
  5. How much time do you spend on social media in a day? If WordPress is social media, then maximum. Need an app now it seems for myself to monitor my active hours on social media and intimate me especially during this quarantine period.
  6. Do you have a favorite travel destination? If so, where is it? Destination that I had been dreaming by grace of GOD already visited them. So for now, for future it is ‘Greece’.
  7. How does your writing could help people? Connect with themselves and same time with the outer world.
  8. What is the most recent TV show you watched? Do you recommend it? I prefer any ‘reality show’ that is not biased and showcase talent of people. I don’t mind recommending them if its interesting basically dancing or singing shows.
  9. What is the most important human need (other than the basic one like eating, sleeping, etc.) and why do you think it is important? Feed for soul. Anything by which soul stays happy, at peace and satisfied. It could differ from person to person like writing, cooking, exercises, yoga, meditation or simply talking to friends and loved ones by staying connected.
  10.  Mornings, afternoons or evening? LATE NIGHTS – ha ha ha!

Nominees:

Whoever wants to claim it as usual 🙂

My questions for Nominees:

  1. What do you admire about yourself?
  2. When were you last happy the most and why?
  3. What is the one thing you regret the most in your life? Why?
  4. Your most favorite activity during your daily routine?
  5. One thing that you don’t like doing, but still good at it!
  6. If upset, what you prefer to do?
  7. What is your ever-lasting memory attached with a song or a movie? Share if u feel like – Why?
  8. Apart from yourself, who is that one person who you rely in life? Why?
  9. Your favorite mode of transport with a fantasy attached with it?
  10. What was the last thing you challenged yourself with?
Be Happy, friendship, happiness, home, Learn to Love, Mother, Self-Help, Summer Break

Memories OR Flashback attached with ‘Scent’


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Can You think of an memory attached with the ‘SCENT’ in life? It could be of anything, but surely close to the heart. Am Sure you must be having more then ONE!

Our brain stores memories through everything we touch, experience, taste, smell, see and many other such things. ”SMELL” certainly is an element, which helps stored memories to flash out.

I personally feel the SCENT – SMELL is the strongest memory trigger. Memories and emotions are a strong combination in itself.

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It can be a smell of perfume associated with ‘SOMEONE’ we are close with, or a strong SCENT of lilacs. It could be the scent of the OCEAN or the Mud of first rain after summer. It could be the smell of coffee or tea made by mother, the first thing in morning. Smell of your favourite food, perfumes, flowers, books and its pages, and so much more…

It can be connected to an event that has a strong emotional impact on us in the past. So when we smell that particular smell, it can trigger an emotional response. This can happen even years down the road.

It’s a fact that our sense of smell is automatically heavily connected to our memory system. Few such memories are engraved in me for lifetime. The scent that evokes memories for me is Eucalyptus. It has always remained closed to my heart. It’s my absolute most favourite scent, that is full of nostalgia, love and simpler times. My childhood memories are attached with it, with lot of functions, celebrations and gatherings.

Eucalyptus was used by my mother in the mixer of freshly homemade ‘Mehndi’ with few other ingredients. Till date no celebrations are completed without applying it on our hands. The aroma of mehndi stays for days on hands and months in hearts.

Photo by Vladislav Vasnetsov on Pexels.com

Also the smell of gentle monsoon breeze takes me to afternoon sitting outside our house on a porch with my mother and friends.

Anytime if I happens to smell such familiar smell in life, I try to take it in me as much as I can as an storage for the upcoming days. It makes me feel alive and energetic.

Do share with me what is yours? Would love to read your share!

Be Happy, challenge, friendship, happiness, Learn to Love, Perfection, Rejection, Self-Help

Importance of Team and Team-Work.


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Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.”
– Andrew Carnegie

I am taking the opportunity to write this blog, as it strike to me while playing a simple game of ‘LUDO’, how important it is form a team and do team-work. This game taught me a lot, that I would be sharing here, which could be applied to various aspects in our life.

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7 Mantra of Teamwork to follow in life.

Teamwork is the collaborative effort of a team to achieve a common goal or to complete a task in the most effective and efficient way.

Therefore, successful teamwork requires clearly defined roles and purpose along with the interaction between teammates.

Here are the 7 mantras to observe and take value from.

  • First,

WHAT ARE THE SIX MOST IMPORTANT WORDS? – I ADMIT I MADE A MISTAKE

  • Second,

THE FIVE MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – YOU DID A GOOD JOB.

  • Third,

THE FOUR MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – WHAT IS YOUR OPINION.

  • Fourth,

THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – IF YOU PLEASE.

  • Fifth,

THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – THANK YOU.

  • Sixth

THE ONE MOST IMPORTANT WORD – WE

  • Seventh,

THE LEAST IMPORTANT WORD – I

These to be remembered throughout our life. These will help us to become a better person and moreover a better leader.

You may be a great asset yourself, but It does not matter if you cannot lead your team. What’s the point if you cannot utilize your team, their skills and resources.

It will look natural “if it is natural”. Start imbibing these qualities in your life, accept your mistakes, appreciate other’s work, consider feedback’s, give respect where it is due, be humble and believe in TEAMWORK.

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In order to have an effective team that can bring you the best in all, you need to involve all your team members in planning and share the workload. Each team member needs to actively participate and contributes towards the successful completion of the assignments. This is the only way to achieve an A+ result. To meet this, you need members who think like a team player. But you cannot simply force them to do so. The only way to achieve this is to inspire them with some successful methodologies. You need to have an understanding about each and every team member and have a clear cut idea about what will bring the best out of them.

In order to have an effective team, we need to have open conversations. This will help to maintain a low level of conflict and will also increase the cooperation of your team members. Few mistakes and few complaints will also make a team effective one. A group of members that will take the responsibility together is an asset for any team.

An effective team will have a clear role and clear-cut goal for their team members. Well defined plan and effective relationship are other qualities of an effective team. Constructive, clear and frank criticism is another quality of an effective team.

Create a team with members that are focused and responsible about their goal in order to walk through the road of grand success. Remember these great words from John Lennon ‘A dream that you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality’.

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Teamwork in Business

Nowadays! Everyone wants to succeed in their businesses, want to deliver their best quality products, and excellent services, for delighting their clients. For that, a company’s teams are their backbone for it. Businesses need strong teams that work smartly, with excellence. Without the talented team, you’re just the walking dead without motor skills to go where you want to go.

“A founder’s individual characteristics are important but what’s more important are that person’s ability to bring a bigger and more experienced team with them,” the researchers say. “And the bigger that team the more likely the firm will succeed.”

What is a Team?

A team is any group of people who work together to achieve something to gain a shared outcome. It may be a sales team, or a call centre team, or a rugby team, or the executive team of a multinational corporation. The same simple rules for success apply to all of them.

It starts with the team leader. Every team needs a leader, a captain, a chief, and the success of that team is almost entirely dependent on what the team leader does – and doesn’t do. Great team ensures great teamwork, achieved by consistent application of some age-old basics:

  • Clear Accountabilities
  • Simple Measures
  • Robust Disciplines
  • Coaching for performance and growth
  • Skills
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Teamwork is defined as “A joint action by a group of people, in which each person subordinates his or her individual interests and opinions to the unit and efficiency of the group.”

The does not mean that the individual is no longer important; however, it does mean that effective and efficient teamwork goes beyond individual accomplishments.

The most effective teamwork is produced when all the individuals involved harmonize their contributions and work towards a common goal.

Be Happy, challenge, Forgiving, friendship, happiness, hobbies, Learn to Love, Perfection, Rejection, Self-Help, Technology

List of Books to be ‘Read’ once in lifetime!


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  1. Megaliving – Robin Sharma : The ultimate guide for improving the quality of life , self development , success , goals , happiness
  2. The power of positive thinking – Dr. Norman Vincent Peale : It has solution to face each and every situation of your life .
  3. The Last Lecture – Randy Pausch : The most inspiring and a good read book . Also guides on how to face adversities with a big smile .
  4. Books by Rashmi Bansal such as connect the dots : Ultimate guide to how hard work and compassion can make rags to riches .
  5. The Art of Happiness – Dalai Lama : As the name itself suggests .
  6. The story of my experiments with truth – Mahatma Gandhi
  7. The diary of a young girl : Anne Frank
  8. How to win friends and influence people : Dale Carnegie : the ultimate guide of human interpersonal relations ever
  9. The autobiography of Benjamin Franklin : Benjamin Franklin
  10. I know why the caged bird sings : Maya Angelou .

These are few non-fiction life changes books recommended for a good read!

List of fiction and few others will be posted soon. Till then enjoy this!

Be Happy, challenge, Forgiving, friendship, happiness, hobbies, Learn to Love, Perfection, Rejection, Self-Help

Blessed and Grateful


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 “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” —  Oprah Winfrey

Being grateful and spreading gratitude can do so much for yourself and for others. We have every day to be grateful for, but we tend to forget to take the time to acknowledge what we have, who we have, and everything around us.

What does be “grateful” really mean? We keep hearing about it, but how come we still don’t practice it? Gratefulness is being appreciative of what you have — whether they’re positive or negative experiences.

Photo by Marcus Wöckel on Pexels.com

I have found that the best way to be grateful is to begin by noticing the small things and to acknowledge within yourself how thankful you are for something. For instance, when you get your morning cup of coffee or tea, smell the aroma and the nice feel of the cup in your hands.  Give a thought of thanks.

When you go outside and see the clouds think a thought of thanks for the new day and what it will bring.  Notice the pattern of the clouds and the play of light and shadow on your surroundings.  Feel a thought of thanks for that. Feel all the blessing in life in terms of being alive and having been loved. Being healthy and not deficit for anything. For all that Almighty has provided us in terms of requirement and abundance. For nature and natural therapies.

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Go through your day noticing and being thankful for the little things.  Let your grateful nature flow out to others around you. 

As you practice the small things it becomes easier and easier to feel grateful for more and more things.  Let that attitude spread out even further to your acquaintances and finally to the world at large.

Practice makes it perfect.  Pretty soon you will find that you are more grateful and happier.

The best way to be grateful is to appreciate everything universe offers with an open heart.

Because the universe never makes mistakes, it always makes miracles.

I am one, you are too!!

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” –William Arthur Ward

Tell your co-worker how happy you are that the two of you are working together.  Notice something about your spouse or child (or best friend) that you hadn’t noticed before and let them know how grateful you are that they have that quality.

1. Share a specific example of something they did for you and how it made a difference in your life.

2. Do something little but thoughtful for them.

3. Give a hug.

4. Tell them you’re there if they have anything they want to talk about.

5. Give them something of yours that you think they would enjoy.

6. Invite them to do something you know they’ve always wanted to do.

7. Encourage them to try something you know they want to try.

8. Offer to do something you know they don’t enjoy doing.

9. Compliment them on a talent, skill, or strength that you admire.

10. Look them straight in the eyes and say, “You make the world a better place.”

We all have something or someone to be grateful for. Invest in yourself by taking the time to be grateful throughout your days.

Perfection, Self-Help

Lets be focused during this pandemic


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Self-control is the only thing that can help us focus to master almost anything into our life. When we have self-knowledge that’s when we will be able to focus on the things that we want to be done.

By self-knowledge, one must take full control of mind and the body will follow along.

In other words, one must become the master and not the slave of own self.

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First, it’s totally normal for our mind to reject new thoughts and ideas. It’s just part of the Law of Attraction learning curve. The idea is to focus on feeling good. When purposely creating through Law of Attraction, you are trying to override your current programming in order to create a new belief about your desire. However, in order to create a new belief, it normally takes many times thinking a new thought before it sounds logical. When your new thought starts sounding more logical and you can feel your new belief forming in terms of how feel about it, you know you’re on the right track!

Focus is the result of contraction and attention while attempting on doing something. These attributes are easily said than done. Practice makes it perfect!

“He’s commanded the one who can’t obey himself.”

One must pay attention to the reactions to things, how he/she process them internally, judge them. Do the best job you can in understanding your own reactions and biases. Then work towards making those thoughts the most positive and productive they can be.

Well it really does take a moment in our life where we choose to go a little “crazy” and give our self the right to really BELIEVE that wildly unbelievable things can start to happen for us.

Our logical minds keep us from trying new things. Logic will protect us from risky unfamiliar endeavours. It protects us from the possibility of failure.

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Here is the thing – put logic aside here. Logic will not help you manifest anything. It’s not logical anyone who is not a millionaire already to become a millionaire. Statistically speaking, you must know that most business fails within a hand full of years. Most marriages fail. Most jobs end. Life ends and you don’t even know when. Don’t go by logic or statistics.

  • Live your life! Don’t fear failure. Embrace the opportunities that may come in between.
  • Exchange focusing on logic to focusing on potential. Focus on what can be.

Be Happy, happiness, hobbies, Perfection, Self-Help, Summer Break

Get Creative During Quarantine


https://cafesncities.com/get-creative-during-quarantine/

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=890750421388092&id=467205457075926

Time to ‘BITE’ away this quarantine time!

Let’s get creative…
Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on Pexels.com

Isolated! Everyone seems to be talking about isolation and being isolated these days, isn’t it? Like many I have also been trying to seek out silver linings. Worked hard to understand isolation – not just in dictionary but by experiencing it, living through it in today’s prevailing conditions.

Isolation I feel is passing negative energies among us by making us think we are left alone and locked down. Are We? We need to think on this the other way around! Prisoners in cell are isolated, as they can’t meet anyone. Person suffering from dangerous – spreading diseases are isolated, to prevent the spread! People in another country or place separated from their family and loved ones are isolated, wherein they don’t have anyone to talk or have emotional and mental support. We, on the other hand are safe in our homes with our families. We are truly blessed. We have someone to live with under same roof. Place to roam around in our own paradise. Excess to technology via all available gadgets through social media and internet. We in every way are connected – just bound to Stay In and not go Out!

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Rather than this time taking a toll on us, we should make the best of this opportunity. Knowingly or unknowingly prayers are answered. Asking ‘A break’ from almighty. So now, we have asked for it, and we have it!

At this point in time, we are homebound, so we need to get a balanced stimulation from basic activities at home. Just make sure that the stimulation isn’t coming from one place, like a computer screen. Try not to think about missing your original life. Set a long-term goal.

Don’t think of self-isolation as losing your precious time. Enjoy the lack of social pressure. This is a great – opportunity to anchor yourself. You are not different; you are still you. It’s the lifestyle that’s changed.

Photo by Sarah Trummer on Pexels.com

I am sure through hard earned money giving sweat and blood, houses are built by our ancestors or us. But have we spent quality time in it? No right? So why not now? Convert our home in dream project of what we like to do! Living room can be our relaxing area or office area which is much in demand this day. Work from home! Place a yoga mat and let the room be your workout place. Start spending more time with indoor plants if you love nature, get more of them. Nourish them.

Expand your creativity by getting more experience in planting. If you are a cooking fan, time to explore kitchen and become an upcoming master chef! If you were a person who loved painting but have forgotten it due to lack of busy schedule, this is the time. Play with colours and let your soul get wet in the rain creating rainbow of your feeling pouring the colours back in life. Same goes for music, dancing, singing, crafting, knitting, writing and much more. Who and what is stopping you!

Once u start now and if you continue being interest and are enjoying the creative activity, then you keep practising and receiving feedback. ‘‘The higher – level creativity we see in quarantine times is vital. But do not let the existence of possible superstars stifle your own creativity.’’

Photo by Madison Inouye on Pexels.com

With enough time, deliberate practice, focus and improvement, you may advance to expert level creativity. Sometimes, a creator’s contribution out lives them and continue to influence a field and be enjoyed or used for generations after their death. You don’t have to be working for a cure or entertaining millions for your ideas to have value for yourself, your friends, or the longer community. Creative activities can help you reduce stress, handle trauma, and improve your mood – all of which are particularly helpful at the current moment.

It’s been already more than a month in confinement, I am far from happy. Every day I follow news, graphics on how many people are recovered, how many new infections, and how many succumbed. Covid-19 has helped me refocus my thoughts to the present moment.

Right now, I don’t have time to think about my career, future, plans. All I want right now is to keep my family alive and happy. We can survive with nominal and basic things. Covid-19 is truly both a physical and mental challenge. I browse social media and see some people are happy that they can hear the birds again. I get it, it is nature’s revenge as humanity failed to protect it.

We humans are getting a lesson in humility. We are not just confined to a place, but it seems in time as well. In the midst of all this I have relearnt the importance of letting go.

Be Happy, challenge, friendship, happiness, home, Learn to Love, Self-Help, Technology

‘DISTANCE’ Never makes you distant


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Thinking loud as of present situation is demanding this that is distance getting us distant with all our relations during this pandemic when we all are quarantine? This tricky situation in all of ours’s life what we are facing, that does distance between two persons make them distant? Well answer to this question vary from person to person on personal experience and how they handle their relationship. Distance cannot be only in romantic relationship, let me make myself clear here! It can be between friends, siblings, parents, mother-daughter, teacher-students, boss-employees and all those who you can think of right now. Any relation that makes your soul happy. Makes your day brighter. Keeps you going for the day, week, month, year and life!

First thing we need to know; it’s gonna be hard.

Not being able to see their smile or feel them will be tough, and you’ll get a sense of loneliness. But, if you’re lucky, so will be he/she. It means that both of you are feeling the same feeling that you want each other. Make sure to keep up with them, ask about how their day was and be affectionate, keeping your expectation at a bay. You can get to know them more by calling on the phone, texting each other, and/or video calls, all perfect ways to maintain a strong relationship.

You’ll have to know that not many people can do a long-distance relationship because of the fact that they can’t see each other. But, if you can have a strong relationship from a long-distance, you’ll find a love better than any relationship you can have with a person near you, because once you finally see them in real life, the outcome is much better.

If you believe that you found the right person, are smart with your decision, and can maintain loyalty to this person, then absolutely go for it.

Photo by Drew Williams on Pexels.com
  1. Maturity.
    Long distance relationship works but it’s not for everyone. First, distance should never be a sole reason breaking up because many people made it work. Yes, many. Why to be immature about it by making it an issue for breaking up. What made it work for others is this…

    “We both want it and so distance is irrelevant to us.”
  2. Know what you want. Openness.
    What do you want from this relationship and does the other person is in mutual agreement? This is where both have to be open in sharing exactly what they desire from each other.

    Whatever it is, there is no right or wrong.

    There is only knowing what both want and they both agreed on it.

    Being open, honest is going to make communication amazing. It will make the meeting face to face amazing. It will remove awkwardness. That means no lying. Keep it real because you will meet, and trust is a very fragile thing.
  3. There will always be Insecurities
    What really gets in the way, is the maturity and next is the insecurities. You will always have insecurities. You can receive a text or an email and take it in the wrong way. So, issues like jealousy, possessiveness strike in then your words or their words become mis constructed and feelings get hurt. Distrust starts to happen with lots of assumptions.

    How do you then deal with such things?
  4. Communication
    If people don’t have the time for communication then leave long distance alone. The distance is not then problem it’s maturity, insecurities and a lack of communication. Communication is needed for long distance to work. That’s where a lot of its success came from. If you feel frustrated waiting for call or message, figure it out with using technology. You can now chat, send private messages and text…
  5. Trust
    The core of the long – distance relationship is fragile, and it’s called trust. At some point there must be trust. You need to trust someone and yes, it is easier said than done when we get insecure people, carrying a lot of baggage who ghost on people.

    Focus on nurturing your relationship not ego, tricks, manipulation and jealousy. Make every communication count.

    It’s not easy to trust but there comes a point that if you want it to grow, then trust is the next factor that needs to happen.
  6. Conversation
    Don’t follow the mainstream because they all say talk to all like you do with everyone else. Because they all the same…

    There is a language. You can call it decency. This is most powerful tool. It makes the conversation amazing, exciting and always happening.

    The art of conversation has truly been lost. Mainstream and many authors have watered it down to appeal to perceptions that is favoured by their social peers. It does a disservice to many couples and lovers around the world because they struggle with conversation.

    It’s a skill to not be taken lightly.

Let’s free ourselves from the boundaries we have set. Break the walls. Communicate and spread love expressing our feelings. As we never know ‘Kal ho na ho’ (today is all we have)!

Be Happy, challenge, happiness, Learn to Love, Self-Help

Knew it but still feels like NEW!


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Everyone is facing the period of quarantine going on right now! Living through it everyone is going through their shares of up and downs. In a way only solution by which ‘WE’ can save ourselves and everyone around is ‘STAY HOME, STAY SAFE’.

This more than a month period with the pandemic has made me see the things I knew in brand new way again! I have started observing, thinking and re-thinking. I am sure most of us are doing the same!

Let’s refresh it and start living it as altogether as something NEW learned!

  1. Laugh.
  2. Feel the spark in you.
  3. Spend time with people you love.
  4. Read, Read, Read.
  5. Listen to music.
  6. Remember to be grateful.
  7. Give someone a honest compliment.
  8. Put down the phone and observe around.
  9. Spend time with family happily.
  10. Discover your forgotten hobby, interest!
  11. Drink lot of water.
  12. Do Exercise / stretch / yoga / meditation.
  13. Eat lot of vegetables and fruits.
  14. Plan your day.
  15. Wear bright clothes – get ready.
  16. watch comedy, Laugh till tears roll down.
  17. Play indoor games, board games, Online Ludo with friends and family.
  18. Smile even when you are not feeling it. Smile is contagious.
  19. Do good deeds privately. World is in need of kindness.
  20. Enjoy your ‘ME’ time, Alone.
  21. Happiness is found within. Positivity attracts positivity.
  22. Embrace the Change.

‘Live life is such a way, that life falls in LOVE with YOU!

Be Happy, happiness, Learn to Love, Mother

Core of your existence


Core of your existence

Check out my poem on cafesandcities magazines for ‘Mother’s Day’.
Pls hit the like button if you like it 😊❤️🙏🏻

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

‘‘Sleepless nights to give you peaceful sleeps’’

‘‘Wrinkles on her face, proves the struggle for your grace’’

‘‘You are her everything, she never had a personal space.’’

‘‘Your happiness makes her day bright!’’

The only thing she longs for now, is to have you in her sight.’’

‘‘You are the reason for the smile on her lips.

Keeping you first, however others may crib.’’

‘‘With her life’s struggle, to make you grow she has gone all weak and low,

So, in your youth now, don’t complain when her age had made her ‘Slow’.’’

‘‘You make her sit alone on chair by wind chap sound,

When winds blow for her End and prepares to go.’’

‘‘She made you grow big,

But now all you do is make her wait.’’

‘‘Don’t you think this woman is above everything?’’

‘‘If you are a follower, become devotee to this woman who dedicated her all life,

For you and your happiness.’’

Be Happy, challenge, happiness, Learn to Love, Self-Help

Change is Constant


Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

‘Life is a roller coaster ride.’ It’s full of ups and downs. We surely have lots of moments in life where we celebrate and feel blessed. But sometimes life puts us in a situation where everything seems falling apart. We try hard but situation doesn’t improve. We try to seek help from others but either no one come to help, or their help doesn’t make differences. In this situation we feel totally helpless. This is very critical situation. This is the situation that makes the difference. The difference between a ‘common man’ and a ‘great man’.

Normally in such situation maximum people lose their hope. Some even commit suicides. Some feel it’s their destiny and nothing can be improved, and they leave everything on destiny and give up trying to improve the situation.

Photo by icon0.com on Pexels.com

It’s not that I have not faced such a trapped situation in my life. Couple of times I have and felt devasted! Especially when my father left us for his journey here after! He was suffering from a chronic disease. And I have witnessed him suffer for more than a year. His last 3 months were Pathetic were we all were helpless. More then him it was difficult to see my mother in that situation. To survive with a bed – ridden person with transferable disease when she herself suffering from chronic diseases and vulnerable. I truly felt very low that time in my life. I saw my mother kept trying. She maximized her effort, going out of her limitations. She breached her comfort zone and went beyond her limitations.

This was the time in my life when I needed to keep patience. Had to be positive that everything will improve. WE needed to be strong. We should keep believing in our self and our capabilities. In such situation in life we need to show extreme desire to live.

Photo by Alexas Fotos on Pexels.com

I learned here that when you feel helpless, 1st thing that you need to remember is that this situation is not permanent. It is temporary and it will change. One should always remember this and keep positive mindset. You need to try hard to improve the situation even when it seems that your efforts are making no difference. You need to think beyond your current situations. Make short-term and long-term goals to beat the severity of situations. Keep yourself motivated and inspired.

Worst situation is not permanent, things will start improving after some time and boost your courage and hope. A day will come when you will find yourself out of such situation. Every situation can be solved, even from the lowest place in the world.

Feeling low and negative can be an outcome of a situation when one must have felt unsatisfied with life for own reasons. It might be a lack of relationship with a partner, or problems at home or being not happy with current job. To be honest, it doesn’t matter on level of taking away life.

Our lives are very short, sometimes very exhausting, it is frustrating to feel like you live at the wrong place and the wrong time, like nothing in the world can make it feel better.

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com

I felt it too…

I started to do some meditation, it gave me a good perspective to look outside of my negative feelings and at times ego. I started with gym and exercising – sports because when the body feels good the soul goes with it automatically.

Photo by Plush Design Studio on Pexels.com

The most important thing I did is creating an alternative world of my own, inside my head, that no one can take away from me, where no one judges me, where there are no boundaries. It made my dreams possible, made me feel close then ever. I started writing my journal. I had something to look up to, something to dream about, a passion that can make me awake all night just of the excitement of doing it to the next morning.

‘Love yourself, everyone is unique and if you don’t think that about yourself then you don’t see yourself for who you really are’!

‘Change is constant.’

Attempting for that change is a matter of choice in some thing being. The journey of self-discovery begins with acceptance.

‘‘Everyone wants to think out the box, but no one dares to stand apart from crowd.’’

Believe in time. It has power one could ever imagine!

Be Happy, challenge, happiness, Learn to Love, Rejection, Self-Help

Experiences best teacher for life!


https://cafesncities.com/

Refer the above link! Not just a magazine but feed for soul! Never cease to inspire new things on various topics.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Enlightenment is an aspect of our potential.  We live in an expansive universe and everything is energy.  We are energy and have an expansive potential.  Enlightenment is our natural state of being, AND a human choice.  It is the power of our own belief that keeps us either in limitation or frees us to live the truth.  Earth is a school and we are here to learn how to realize who and what we truly are. 

Photo by Laura Stanley on Pexels.com

You cannot be trained to grow from a baby into an adult.   The body needn’t be trained, the mind naturally develops and the emotions as well.  Well, of course we must learn behaviour and so on.  What I mean is that it is a natural progression to do so.   What is our inherent blueprint is set into motion and the intelligence within us is navigated to that fulfilment. 

Photo by Daniel Frank on Pexels.com

What control we do have however, is that of choosing what we perceive as truth from illusion.  We have the choice of what information is acceptable to our idea of reality.  It is this information we choose that determines how quickly or how slowly we continue our natural growth. We have the choice to be our own person, claim self-authority, and be a leader of our life, not a follower of others.  The sooner we learn that others don’t have the answers for us, the sooner we will develop the courage to set out upon our own path to awakening. 

Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

Because we are beings with a sentient sense of self, with will and imagination. we have the dignity of choice.  We have tremendous potential.  We must choose that potential and give up limitation, stagnant concepts of being, and negativity.  We must learn about the power of the mind to co-create our reality.  We must keep an open mind and heart to embrace our deeper potential.  We cannot be more influenced by what others say in their lives than by what our heart tells us in our own lives.

We can train our own mind to have healthy patterns of self-respect, self-worth, and a positive outlook in life.  There are many things we can do to further our awakening into a more expansive sense of self.

We are all given a great prize.  That prize is fully developed, fully awakened and fully intact right here and now.  It belongs to each of us, but we must find our way to it.  That is our challenge.  It has no need to prove itself to us.  WE have the challenge to understand a being within so great, that it can find it.

Photo by Shane Albuquerque on Pexels.com

Experiences in life are our teachers.  No time is wasted or lost.  We learn something at every moment.  We know how to break out of our spell of limitation.  We must develop belief in ourselves to begin.  That is how we feed the inner hero.  Give this hero more and more food and nourishment of belief and passion. 

Listen this song below and be like this always! Keep it ON! 👇

It is in the beginning to seek answers within that we quicken our progress.  Within is the doorway to our prize.  It is a big, gorgeous, pure gold frequency of light.  It is forever open.  It was open when you were born, before you were born and all the days of your life.  Ours is a destiny of realizing our immense potential via human choice. This is the great gift our humanity lays at our feet.

Be Happy, happiness, Self-Help

Some Light on LIGHTS


Photo by Alex Azabache on Pexels.com

Thinking about ”light” the things that normally cross our mind are Sun, Moon, Stars, Chandelier, Lamps, Candles and so much more…

Photo by Sam Kolder on Pexels.com

Talking about light in our life other way round, takes us into deep meditation. Light that has enlightened our soul. The light that can make us feel light heartened and carefree. Gives us positivity and fill us up with energies.

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

Everyone should search for the light that has enlightened their souls! At the time of distress am sure everyone must had that someone! Isn’t it? Take a sit back and think about it and be thankful. It can be your spiritual connection with God making it more stronger. A friend in whom you can confide. Your sibling as your best strength. Parents most of the time. Or can be someone special who enter your life, right at that time, to hold you and get you out of the tsunami saving your life!

Photo by Donald Tong on Pexels.com

I don’t want to be the one who don’t value a thing unless I don’t have it. I want to value even the tiniest blessing in my life before it’s too late. Live, love and smile to enjoy every moment of life. As every moment that passed can be a great opportunity. Always ‘Thank’ someone who is your light in calamity as you might be the only one to do it.

Today I want to take this opportunity to thank such ‘LIGHTS’ of my life who have been my navigator to help me proceed with my life turning it successful one!

Be Happy, happiness, home, Learn to Love

Unknowingly Paired!


Pairs! I was thinking loud by repeating the word pairs in my mind and all of sudden my slothful daughter from the couch in front of me – thanks to quarantine, all of sudden screamed ‘Mamma do you know how many pairs we have in our living room’?

Raising head from my laptop with surprise I asked her What? She completely bored in afternoon got up and started explaining me in the most confident manner like – have conquered the highest peak of Mount Everest in replying me back. See Mamma we have

  • Two same photo frames on wall
  • Two Same Chandelier on roof
  • Two same Stickers on wall
  • Two Rabbits
  • Two Show Piece
Wall Stickers and Frames
Eagles
Teddy’s

With this now she started joking around after some serious talk that also we have two doors, two windows, two chairs and much more…. Innocently, she has touched the topic with an essence to think over for all of us. I had no choice left but to agree with her. We both then laughed our heart out! She filled me up with pride about her observations skills. Staying more then a decade in the same house, I never thought this way and today when I was wanting an write-up on Pairs she not only saved me but gave me my article!

But this definitely left me with deep thinking about how important Pairs are! Was this a co incidence or mistakenly co incidence happened with me! Is this indicating me further to think of for my personality, that how important it is to have a pair – a Soulmate! Here by partner I don’t only mean married couples! No! It could be anything or any relation. Friends, sibblings, couples parents and so much more! Many a times we are in pair with someone for emotional ground and other for spiritual.

On border scale in reality aren’t we all pair up with something or other in our lives. Emotionally, spiritually and in many other ways we depend on an partner! To make us feel complete, confident, reason to be happy, look forward to and much more…

The word “Life” is as deep as it gets. Life is a tough place to tackle and conquering all the battles by your own is a big challenge. Given that we are human, it follows that “doing life” is made easier if it is “Shared” & ”Paired”.

Be Happy, challenge, Forgiving, happiness, Stranger

Believed in Forever – Untwisted twist!


Photo by Adrien Olichon on Pexels.com

We expect life to be a continuous journey towards perfection when in fact life is full of hoops, jumps and randomness. Things don’t always go the way we want it to. Random events occur frequently in our lives and is in our best interest to become aware of how random life really is.

I stopped blaming other people for being the cause of my unhappiness.

Photo by burak kostak on Pexels.com


 
It isn’t easy to stop and it sure requires a lot of honesty and courage to do so.
It is always easier to blame someone else to throw away some responsibility but, in order to grow, you have to accept the consequences of your acts.
 
You have to be determinate and perseverant to fix your flaws but, when you do succeed – you and only you are the source of your triumph – and at this moment, you can be infinitely proud of yourself.
 
By changing this habit, you will have the feeling that you can change everything in your life – as long as it is something that you can actually control.

Expecting. I quit it.

Expectations are nice to have. But some expectations are dangerous like cancer.

  • I stopped expecting people to be perfect.
  • I stopped expecting people to be nice to me if I’m nice to them.
  • I stopped expecting things to be easy.
  • I stopped expecting people to leave everything for me and be with me.
  • I stopped expecting life to be fair.

Living with guilt and regret.

Guilty

I stopped feeling guilty about the past.

Having guilt is like having a 100 pound weight on your back holding you down. You are not able to move. You feel like you are walking through mud up to your knees.

I am not even close to being perfect, so I have done things in the past that I am not proud of. For years I was filled with guilt and shame because of my decisions.

I didn’t make mistakes, I made conscious decisions even though they were the wrong decisions. Too many people misuse the word mistake to pass the blame to others and not take responsibility.

I am a big believer in personal development so I work constantly on becoming the best version of myself. I read and listen to books to improve my mindset regularly.

This transformed my whole life.

This way we can then learn how to prepare for these events and realize that eventually, maybe, hopefully; life will balance itself out again while learning a few things about yourself along the way.

Published with: Times of India – Reader’s Blog

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/readersblog/lamiyasiraj/believed-in-forever-untwisted-twist-28388/

Be Happy, Forgiving, friendship, happiness, Learn to Love, Self-Help

”Hands – Finding a Way in Dark”


Photo by energepic.com on Pexels.com

Hands – brings lot of emotions as well as confidence, when I think about them. Today I am holding a pen, able to share my thoughts, credit goes to my hands. My hands are helping me to create something beautiful.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Hands authenticate our destiny by our signature or thumb impressions.

Many a times in my life I have been fortunate enough to give hope, encouragement or gentle touch/pat whenever required. Expressing my love, joy and happiness by embracing, hugging and much more, and receiving back in return was possible only through hands. I remember the ‘Special Hands’ in my life, who have helped me in distress by pulling me out from pit and holding on me!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Today, I take this opportunity to thanks to the hands that were there to hold us during toddler days.

Through ”Hands” by touching someone gently can convey so many things:

  • Forgiveness
  • Acceptance
  • Concern
  • Reassurance
  • Support
  • Love
  • Need
  • Compassion
  • Confidence
  • Warmth

So much can be done through simple touch with hands!

Be Happy, happiness, Learn to Love, Self-Help

Out of Love


Its a blessing to have someone in life who loves you dearly and can go out of the way to express it and make you feel special. Now when it comes to cooking, I love getting pampered by getting a platter ready for myself and being served. By this I clearly state that ‘YES’ am not a cooking fan. I do it, out of compulsion yet it always turns out to be good – now can say by grace of GOD or hard luck!

Ability to quickly make something with desire by multitasking and stirring of left over and available resource is the secret ingredient of a delicious recipe . This is a talent which comes from experience.

Yes we have many signature dishes. Most of them from families and few we discovered :-). On NEW YEAR this year, my ‘HUSBAND’ had made a ‘DESI PIZZA’ precisely home made chappati for me. Started this year on good note with lots of good wishes, positivity and happiness. Coming back to his cooking. Yes he is a foodie person and loves to cook and eat! I love Pizza’s and sandwiches made by him.

Home made pizza ❤🥰
home

Busy Streets turned into Calm Street.


I have witnessed life on the streets watching from my balcony, that have completely gone quite now due to Covid19. ‘Stay Home, Stay Safe’ is the motto going on across the globe. Everyone have started participating in this actively now, understanding the seriousness of the present condition.

City Resting

I recall the days, when we have spend time here. Family talking a walk. My daughter cycling with her friends. We family friends gathering and chit chatting with playing few games. A group of ladies sitting and chatting with munching’s. Children playing football and badminton. Street full of life and now craving for life!

I pray this calamity comes to an END and we get our life – our routines back!

Be Happy, Forgiving, Learn to Love, Rejection

Song – Existing in my existence / Close to Heart


Memories can make their way in our life, in present through many ways. Am Sure songs are one such mediator out of many which makes us travel through time. Music have always been special in my life connecting me with my soul.

Difficult task which song to pick and which to leave! But I will like to share two of my most favourite songs here:

1. My heart will go on… Movie Titanic. Artist by Celine Dion.

It was my during my college days when this movie and song was released and had become the sensation in that era, I still remember it clearly! Takes me back in my youth. Though I believe age is just a number and we will always be young by heart.

2. Stand by me… Album Stand by me. Artist: Skylar Grey

This used to be my Workout Song in Gym while doing Zumba. Lot of promises and memories attached! Hard Lesson learned. In the end its only you, yourself for yourself. Bitter truth of life. Learn to be independent and don’t get attached.

Be Happy, happiness, hobbies, Learn to Love, Self-Help, Summer Break

Himalayan thrills


Photo by rasik on Pexels.com

The most memorable trip I had was going to Himalayas for 21-day basic mountaineering course at Nehru Institute of Mountaineering way back in 1996. This trip wouldn’t have been possible without my elder sister – my lifeline being on my side. All credits go to her.

Photo by Nina Uhlíková on Pexels.com

During the course we did river rafting, mountain climbing, hiking, camping with various other activities like cooking with limited resources. To date I am so fascinated with that trip that I feel like I just have come from it last week, though it’s been 22 years now. Memories are so engraved in mind and heart. That was my first trip without my parents or relatives.

Photo by ASHISH SHARMA on Pexels.com

I made so many friends from different places of India later who all became my pen friends. Even today, when I close my eyes, I can feel the cool breeze of mountains. The melodious sound of river flowing. Various waterfalls. Sunrises and sunsets that are completely different in Himalayan mountain ranges. What more could one ask.

My secret wish is to go on a hiking and mountaineering course with my 10-year old daughter someday.

Be Happy, happiness, Learn to Love, Self-Help

Flattery: Being Nice or just being Fake!


https://cafesncities.com/flattery-being-nice-or-just-being-fake/

Click on the above link to read full article in ‘cafes and cities Magazine’.

Q. Have you ever presented a ‘Fake’ compliment back in response to someone complimenting you?

If we start flattering on a positive note, than sometimes, false flattery can make others happy. Many a times, people give fake response while receiving a compliment for not to sound rude. Compliments may be fake but the love or efforts of person who gave wouldn’t be. It’s more important to make someone feel good about themselves and that could be more genuine reason for giving compliments.

Photo by Cristian Dina on Pexels.com
World today needs more kindness than truth. If you know someone who is having a tough day and struggling, I don't see any harm in giving compliments.

World today needs more of kindness then truth. If you know someone who is having a hard day and struggling, I don’t see any harm in giving compliments. I would do that whole day to make someone feel good.  People these days are more prone to social media to run away from reality, seeking happiness on social media platform to make themselves feel better. So, if a fake compliment can make someone happier, for a little while also, why not! People crave for more ‘likes’ on social media platform like Facebook and Instagram. They thrive and believe on this count though must have not met them personally! They think they are judged based on the comments and likes with the photo and stories they put up.

Photo by Tracy Le Blanc on Pexels.com
But at the same time, I feel being fake can also be manipulative. In business, and especially building networks, should always lead with values and truth.

Because with fake flattering, false value are delivered, basically being manipulated and it always gets catches. Any long-term relationship cannot be built on playing fake I feel. Why to create a bad impression for our self. Highly not recommended. It is very important to cultivate the quality of being natural.

Fake compliments at times are given to boss or in working environment at a lighter note to build relationship. There is nothing wrong in it. Till it is safe and not harming anyone’s sentiments and emotions.

People at times suffer from self-love, so a chief cure for it is the practice of love for others and can this can be done through positive flattering.

Photo by Hannah Nelson on Pexels.com

We get confused whether to stay real at times or do flattery. Flattery might give the other person a sense of inferiority complex. But by talking to the other person if you can eliminate the cause and give some happiness with confidence, then why not! Go for it.

challenge, happiness, Perfection

IS JUST ONE DAY ENOUGH TO CELEBRATE WOMENHOOD?


It has been a trend followed by almost everyone to talk about ‘Women’ on women’s day and write beautiful poems, articles, anecdotes, stories, thoughts and views. But why to limit this for one particular day?

I didn’t take this opportunity to write anything as I was busy reading what others have written and enjoying it.

Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

By the end of the day I was asked about my write-up by a good friend on which another friend shared a beautiful article stating I have one! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Praising the received one, still the question on me was live ‘where is Lamiya’s Article’? Hasn’t she written anything? I was elated by the simple fact that my write-up was being awaited!

Now this really caught me! Having ‘ocean of thoughts’ inside me I should pen down. Not just for a day for women but entirely. This erupted up my thinking by concluding ‘Never assume that people won’t notice you. Every minor thing you do will be noticed by someone. That’s where assumptions and opinions are formed. So always be careful of everything you do.’

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Coming back to International Women’s Day, lot is said and heard. It’s been proven now across the globe the success of women through their own hard work and determination. Nation all over the world are making sustainable efforts to achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls, to fulfil their commitments. Women’s have started playing an important role as key partners in building the future. Every single woman has a choice to live life on her own terms and conditions. Women need more education and awareness to have faith and unleash the power within.

Photo by Bich Tran on Pexels.com

When you as women are in a position of strength or influence, use it to better someone’s life. Educate people, spread the knowledge. Everything is possible because we, as humans, are gifted with a beautiful heart and sensible brain to make things happen. Women are gifted with multi-tasking capabilities with no boundaries to succeed.

Things have improved a lot in couple of decades. Previously, people were driven by ideologies, not facts. Women were not empowered, but now, they are considered for their talents and achievements.

The best way to develop the confidence and expertise to face challenges is ‘Believe in yourself, your dreams, mastering your skills, working hard, executing your plans and achieving your goals, this are the best ways to develop your confidence and expertise to face challenges.’

‘Believe in yourself and own your success’’.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

There are women who inspires us, care for us, make our lives better, tolerate us and love us no matter what. Let’s celebrate them and not just this random date or day but for every day.

‘‘Celebrate them not just on Women Day but whenever possible.’’

Reviews

Reviews in the Magazine & Blogs for my Book: One Step Ahead.


https://cafesncities.com/one-step-ahead-book-review/

https://candyroseblogs.wixsite.com/candyrose/post/book-review-one-step-ahead

One Step Ahead: A Leaf Out of Life of Lamiya Siraj

Click on the Above link to read the full review!

A lot us don’t tend to make ourselves feel better whenever we go through something. we always place our happiness and our strength in other people and then end up getting hurt when the person is not available or just doesn’t care enough.

And when this happens, we fall into a deep void of darkness and struggle on how to climb that mountain of fears and self-doubt.
This explanation after the reading the book as an review has caught my attention and made placed in my heart!

The description couldn’t have been better for the book then narrating this that ‘The contents start with the topic of ‘Happiness’ and Ends with her views on ‘Technology’. Throughout the book, she stands with a side of kindness and love and how it can change our lives even if we don’t believe it. From making time for ourselves in this monotonous world to needing equality between men and women in this world, she perfectly stood to her point of helping others understand and how our mentality about a situation can help resolve the problems that we are facing.

The author ends the book by saying that every one of us is filled with emotions and if the book is enjoyed even by one person, her job here is done.

And I would like to let the author know that I enjoyed and admired this book very much while I was reading and even after I finished reading it.

Thank you once again ‘Café and Cities Magazine for your generosity of reading the book and publishing the reviews. And my thanks here would be incomplete without thanking Ashbiha Fathima. Glad to have you as my satisfied reader.

Uncategorized

Book Nominated for NE8x® Literature Fest 2020.


NE8x® I Author of the Year Nominee

ONLINE LITERATURE FEST 2020
Recognising Author Lamiya Siraj for her esteemed book: ‘ One step ahead ‘

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Lamiya Siraj
https://ne8x.in/listing/lamiya-siraj

Pls give your ratings and comments on above link. Thank you in advance.

create I innovate I inspire

Lamiya Siraj

Lamiya by profession is an Author, Freelance Writer, Blogger, Ex Banker.She grew up in Ahmedabad an later got married and settled in Baroda for 3 years and then Abu Dhabi, UAE

ABOUT THE BOOK:
One step ahead
https://amzn.to/3cR1fvU

This book is a collection of various articles and work on non-fiction based on some real life experiences.Subject like Happiness, Hobbies, Challenges, Perfection, Relationships and Technology are covered in this book.Personally, we are full of emotions and sentiments.Knowledge is everywhere and can be enhanced more with experience.We can overcome all
negativity and achieve everything through love, friendship, acceptance and hope.Destiny can be made and changed!

PUBLISHERS:
Book Squirrel

Applications for NE8x® LitFest 2020 are now open! Authors from all literary domains can apply at: https://ne8x.in/litfest2020/

POWERED BY:
Pratilipi I InkQuills Publishing House I T beverages I Rise Pen Industries I Shanti Publishers I Penmyth

Brought to you by:
NE8x® Publish
https://ne8x.in/publish

create I innovate I inspire

Be Happy, happiness, Learn to Love, Self-Help

Birthday not so special, yet very special now!


https://cafesncities.com/birthdays-not-so-special-yet-very-special-now/

Read the full Article – Story with the link above.

This year on my birthday I have reached a milestone number. As people say – life starts with this number. Few express it as half life already lived! Before few years I had seen a wallpaper somewhere stating, ‘Naughty at 40’. Now today this has hit me and left me thinking. Something deep inside me tells me I should celebrate! Celebrate all the days now leading to the birthday and the days after that.

Remembering birthdays when I was growing up were special. I still remember my mother how lovingly and still today takes the photo out of my 1st birthday and shares the memories for the day. Photo yes before four decades use to be a luxury. My memory attached for my birthday is the dairy milk chocolate I used to get 1st thing in the morning. How excited I use to get right before my birthday approaching waiting for it. That use to be the feast for me.

With passing years, as I grew up, I remember in kinder garden my mother had dressed me like a princess, making me wear a ‘pink lenga’ and ‘dupatta’. I even had got privilege to distribute toffees to all my classmates. That day I truly felt like a princess.





Photo by APHOTOX on Pexels.com

When I was a teenager, what birthdays meant for me was staring at greeting cards. Receiving cards and letters with lots of poetic words and lovely messages in it. Wearing a new dress, flaunting in between families and friends for the whole day along with my favourite food made by my mother especially for me was worth waiting for. I laugh now remembering how I used to count my treasured greeting cards comparing with present year to know whether I have received more then the previous year or not! These cards had something fascinating about them. My heart use to get very elated while reading them and flipping it repeatedly.

Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

Time flew, and with adulthood came lots of responsibilities and complications. I agree I was too busy at times to celebrate. And before I could realise, I was busy planning and celebrating birthdays of spouse and extended family members. Then came motherhood, which simply meant birthday celebrations for my little one and no more celebrations for myself. I remember as a new mother, all I wanted as a gift was a good night’s sleep. Nothing else mattered to me.

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As my baby started to grow as a little champ, again birthdays began to shape into surprise gifts. Prior to my birthday whole week, she did all messy things with paints and colours trying to make a surprise card managing to hide it from me. She succeeded in getting life back in me. Last year all my bed side was covered with hand made lovely cards and messages with tag lines, when I opened my eyes on my birthday. She must have shared the excitement with her friends in class and they joined hand with her sharing the joy for her mamma’s birthday!

Today something inside me urges to pause. Since last few years I was ungrateful and was stubborn for not celebrating my birthday due to some unrealistic and unreasonable reasons. Today its been more than four decades, since I added a number in the population on this planet earth. Yes, I have laughed, cried, torment over numerous things. I agree I don’t like many episodes that have occurred in my life. But yes, as we know nobody’s life is perfect and I have given a major time of my life to understand this simple truth of my life.

With my life’s experience now, I understand the value of time in this world. Life is a gift. God is great! We are blessed with miracles all around us in the form of sea, rivers, nature, mountains, trees, sunrise, sunsets, rains, flowers, birds and much more. I am grateful for all those times, when I have been saved from unpleasant incidents in my life. I appreciate my presence on this earth. Am sure there is a meaning of me being on this earth and alive.

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I may not know how many more years I would be blessed to see this miracle of almighty, but for now I want to cheer for all the good and bad times I have had so far.

There’s one thing I am pretty sure now when it comes to my perception of myself, is I am unique. Now by this belief, I will find my true fulfilment and happiness. Fostering a good, healthy sense of self-acceptance is an essential basis for a happy life.

happiness

Holding onto a grudge: Slow Poising


Live a Healthy and long life

Holding onto a grudge: Slow poisoning.

Living a healthy life starts with a healthy mind. It’s not easy to control our minds, especially when we are hurt, or someone has wronged us. When we try to forget something or someone, being upset is natural. People tell you to divert your mind and your thoughts, but that is easier said than done.

Get yourself busy, go for a walk, read a book, listen to music, watch a movie or go to a friend or someone whom you trust and talk to them about what you are feeling. But in reality, when mind is angry, and our heart is hurt, we will not be at peace. And, nothing will work. Different individuals have different ways of dealing with themselves. My way may not be the way for others and so is vice-a-versa. If you think there’s something wrong, go to a professional.

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The way I deal with my feelings when I am feeling down is to play with my daughter. I find comfort in my little angle by playing and talking to her. I get assured that happiness lies in moments and not unmaterialistic things. But if matter is serious, I confide with someone whom I trust.

 Hot water bath and soothing music also helps me to reduce my anxiety. Last but not the least I have a habit to ‘pen it down’. By doing so the negativity is out from my system and once done so, I tear it off and throw it to garbage. 

There are various ways to deal with this situation and for grudges not to make a permanent home in us. If two people are mature, then they should resolve an argument by talking it out with each other. They should meet each other, speak clearly about the issue and try to get it resolved.

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Since relationship is important then negative emotions and grudges, which is holding you and can weigh you down, compiling into a bigger issue, leading further to bitterness, destruction, anger or even depression. Because if not done this way. Then negative effects are seen more on the person holding the grudges, then for the one whom you hold. This can only cause high level of stress and self-destruction.

Why should we self-invite the health issues for ourselves.  Try to get it fixed. If can’t fixed, let it go. Holding on to a grudge hurts. A grudge makes you a prisoner in your own virtual prison cell. Break free and go enjoy life.

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Holding a grudge against someone can hardly hurt them. Even if it does, the effect is much on you than them. People who hold grudges get angry and fight a battle inside. Every little thing infuriates them because their heart is not free.

There’s nothing wrong with getting offended, but one should not make the mistake of taking things too far. Hold if for one more minute or simply walk away from the scene. Learn from it and don’t let yourself become victim of it again. You must understand and accept the fact that in this world you’ll always be hurt by people. Grudges stops your progress in life. Forgive even if the other person is not ready to make up. God would take over and touch their heart for your sake.

Forgiving, friendship, happiness

Friendships are essential in life


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True friends are difficult to find, which is why we must cherish the friends we have.

Friendship is a relationship where a person has the freedom to choose another person they enjoy spending time with. Most of the time, it’s our heart finding peace and comfort with this person, or with these people. Friendship is the home for every wandering soul which is lost.

When you are friend with a person, you can tell them everything without the fear of being judged. Friendship can be cultivated with time and understanding. Some friendships are strong and can withstand the test of time and roll like a dice when life throws them a curveball. Good friends, will give the space you want, when you need it and will love you more when you are broken or lack direction.

‘‘When you meet someone and become friends, still not very close but are good friends, your heart starts feeling happy, contemplate and at peace’’ – means you have found the greatest blessing of universe in the form of ‘friendship’ for yourself.

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We love to be surrounded by friends who shower their unconditional love, affection and admiration. No matter how independent, bold, empowered or economically secure we may be, deep in our hearts, we all seek to bond with other people. We all seek that ‘anchor’ in our lives. Relationship with our friends make us strong, grow, enriched, evolve and make us happy.

In friendship you don’t have high hopes and expectations like for that matter in any other relationships. It’s when we expect more from others than what we expect from ourselves, our relationships are not going to be nearly as enduring as we might hope.

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No one can make promises to bring perfection to a relationship, we need to be willing to accept and forgive people for their mistakes. It’s equally important to acknowledge when we make mistakes, so that in friendship it’s easier for a friend to forgive and move forward, and vice-a-versa.

It is also important to respect other people’s boundaries as well as their stories. Some people are difficult to get close to and take time to open up. Don’t push them away.

Good friends are able to acknowledge that everyone is human, and don’t judge you for your choices. If you can’t respect your friend’s choices or decisions, which can be different from what you feel is ‘best’, then try to explain and sort it out, else you need to exit from the relationship. It’s not necessary or compulsory for friend’s to ‘like’ or ‘approve’ their friend’s choices, but good friend accept their friend’s choices no matter what. Friendship is the most difficult relationship to maintain.

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Maintaining the dignity of friendship in its purest and devoted form is not everyone’s cup of tea. I truly admire those who are actually able to keep their friendship till the end of their lives, moreover, in its real form without doing manipulation with name or relation to keep it safe.

I wouldn’t have been able to survive if I had NO ONE to confide in. It’s a feeling of stability – to know that in trouble, I have someone to fall back on, someone who understands.

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Friendship is a two-way street and requires giving and receiving. Many a times you are friend with someone for years and decades but don’t find that comfort, understanding and peace. On the other hand it may happen that you just became friend with someone, starting to know a stranger, still feels that’s it’s a lifetime friendship – like you have been knowing each other forever. And then such new friendship goes year long, leaving a mark to all – to understand the depth of lifetime friendship.

Stranger

It’s a strange world, thanks to the people we meet!


https://m.khaleejtimes.com/editorials-columns/its-a-strange-world-thanks-to-the-people-we-meet

Talking to strangers can make you happy.

Our very lives depend on the ethics of strangers, and most of us are always strangers to other people.

– Bill Moyers

Have we become strangers in these world of technology and gadgets? But don’t we get ample of time to be on-line and stay connected with the virtual world through internet? Does that mean we have no time for the real world?

When was the last time we observed ourselves? When was the last time you smiled at a stranger or received a smile in return? I am sure this is a simple question yet difficult one to answer as most of the time, we have our heads bow down, glued to our mobile screens.

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I still remember when we were young, our parents would tell us ‘Don’t talk to strangers’! And that worked well for us. We were young, our minds were young, which means we were not old enough to be discerning. We were not able to decide if a stranger was good or bad. But as we grew, the situation changes. We are not able to comprehend what is good and bad.

The importance, rather the comfort of the human touch seems to vanishing day by day. People have, in fact, started to feel safe by not connecting with the real world. Instead, they feel safe and secure being away from all the unnecessary fuss and emotional distractions. But have we felt the need to talk to strangers? Haven’t we thought about the benefits we can get out of talking to strangers?

Anything is possible in life. A stranger you meet can become your lifeline with the passing years. In the same vein, the person most close to you can become a stranger in a matter of seconds. Life has become unpredictable. Surprisingly, you might meet someone again on the crossroad of life and you might again continue the beautiful journey of your life together. The never-ending road of life will take you towards your destination of happiness, and fill you up with all confidence and courage required to face any adversities and difficulties.

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It’s time we changed our attitude towards strangers. Yes, we live in dangerous times, but not all strangers we meet are dangerous. We need to be suspicious, but we should also be trusting. The whole world is not our enemy.

Let’s start by changing ourselves. Each individual has the capability to connect with people, allowing us the human experiences which are enriching experiences. Right from the morning we get innumerable chances to meet and greet strangers. It could be a taxi driver, a sales person at a mall, fellow passengers at airports, lounges, railway stations and the bus stand. Interaction depends on people’s personalities. If you are an introvert, it might be difficult to talk to strangers. At the same time, if the other person is an extrovert, communications becomes quicker. Such communications are also a great way to socialise and to build networks. It is also interesting to see the world through the eyes of another person.

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The world out there is for us to explore. So, try to see it through a different perspective. Talking to strangers and discussing various topics helps boost our confidence and makes us feel self-motivated. It also helps improve our communication skills. Yes, the world is full of strangers and that’s what makes it so interesting.

Forgiving, happiness

Found solace in forgiving


https://m.timesofindia.com/life-style/relationships/soul-curry/he-found-solace-in-forgiving/articleshow/69790167.cms?utm_source=He

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

As a seven – year old, it felt strange to be ignored by his own father, even though he had high fever and had met with a domestic accident. His mother had gone out of work, leaving him home to be cared by his father. Was it that he was an unexpected child due to which he was subjected to such bitterness? Or was it because his father was married to a well-educated women, himself being uneducated. Discrepancy, which is still prevalent in many areas of Indian society, is best exemplified by his own family, house and life.

That day, as father was busy doing his not-so-important stuff in house, he went and was pulling his pants for attention, when the father pushed him back in anger and that’s when he fall down and hit the sharp corner of bed. The right side of his forehead along with ear felt spasms of agony as it hit the sharp edge of bed.

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He felt tears of pain and anger roll down his innocent cheeks. His father looked back to see what happened and felt further irritated, just then his mother returned home to face his wrath. Yet again she was accused of being highly educated and leaving the house, for work and livelihood, blamed as ‘good-for-nothing’. Domestic violence was everyday business that he was forced to witness.

In spite of all this, he would see his mother cook meal for his father and whole family. Do chores without complaining. Get new clothes for him. And did everything, shouldered all responsibilities as his mother was the sole breadwinner of the family. But over the years, his mother too accumulated some amount of bitterness within her which she vented through her love for ‘shayaris’ and poetry. He also started imagining all fathers as shrews!

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As the years passed, his father due to his prolong disease, became bed-ridden, he needed love and care. He wondered, ‘‘will ‘karma’ play its role?’’ But all he saw was his mother taking utmost care of his father. How could she? Was it because of her upbringing and society demands? Or out of respect for the relationship, she was into since last 40 years? He wasn’t convinced, after all, he was just entering the roller-coaster ride of his life.

Then came a day when he was undergoing training for his new job and had to put together a project about the life of elderly people living in an old-age home. The very topic made him sick to the stomach. He started to wonder why his own father couldn’t be sent to a home like this as he himself had demanded it so many times. The debate during the training about looking after the elderly in families made him argue with his colleagues to the point of being rude. All present there along with supervisors were surprised to see that he harboured so much anger within him.

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He along with his colleagues finally decided and reached the old-age home, an old building with some yellowish brown shuttered windows. He sat stubbornly on a bench in the garden, hell-bent on not doing anything constructive. That’s when he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder. He looked up and saw an old-man, in a plain white kurta, beaming at him. His name was ‘Mr Roger’, who invited him to his room and shared a packet of biscuits over a hot cup of ginger tea that he made.

Mr. Roger’s maturity with kindness attracted him and he gushed about his father. The old man assured him that all fatherly figures aren’t the same and probably his father had reasons for such ill-filled actions. After that day, till training continued, he went back to visit Mr Roger several times. Through his conversations with Mr Roger, the old man provided him with the understanding and closure that he needed to forgive his father and let go his anger.

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Thereon he would sit beside his ill father, take his bony hands in his and speak to him. He would tell him how he yearned for him to talk or response or smile. He doesn’t know if he ever heard him. But a while later he passed away and with him passed his anger-ridden self!

And he found solace in forgiving!

friendship, happiness

The friend who taught me to face adversities with a smile


https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/soul-curry/the-friend-who-taught-me-to-face-adversities-with-a-smile/articleshow/69413970.cms

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I learnt what patience means when I got to know her. She taught me how one can be devoted and live life to the fullest. A very humble person and an ordinary woman for world, but for me she is my first friend after my marriage. I met her some more than 15 years ago. I was newly married and had shifted from the metropolitan city Ahmedabad to Baroda. It was a new experience of living in a new city amidst complete strangers, including my husband and in-laws.

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 I took up a job in the mortgage department with a multinational bank wherein I had to deal with numerous clients, builders and co-ordinate with lawyers and technicians. She, at that time, was working as customer care executive with one such renowned builder. We had been talking regularly regarding documents for a couple of months. Finally, after much delay, our meeting was fixed one day. By that time I knew her by her name and her melodious voice, all because of our telephonic conversations.

One afternoon during peak summers, I was waiting for her at her office. When she walked towards me, I saw her for the very first time and was completely amazed to see her ‘aura’. She was indeed as beautiful as her name ‘Manisha’! She was much polite and listened to all the queries patiently and helped resolve them.

Though she is an introvert by nature, but we gradually became friends. As time went and I started knowing her, I came to know that she is elder to me by age and experience. She lived in a vast joint family with her parents and siblings.

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She had dreams like any other Indian girl and wanted to pursue them. But I guess God had other plans for her. With so much struggle and compromise in her personal as well as professional life, I have seen her shattered and broken but never once did I see her complaining or giving up. I felt there’s a turmoil inside her but she maintained her calm and composure. No one, including the people who lived with her, was aware of her struggle. She lost her job a couple of times but her spirit always stayed high.

She became my first mentor after my marriage. At that time mobile phones were luxury and not affordable and there were no features like free incoming and outgoing messages, Internet and WhatsApp. We use to communicate through letters and STD calls. She became my light in darkness. She is the one always there for her family and friends but I hardly know anyone solely there for her!

It was one fine morning in 2004, I had just reached office and got a call on my landline. The conversation left me in a shock and before I could gather my sense, the receiver had dropped from my hands. The call was from Manisha’s friend who said she had met with an accident and was admitted to hospital. After collecting the address of the hospital, I rushed to be near Manisha. When I entered her room, I was shocked and shattered to see her condition. She was badly injured and had multiple fractures in her hand and leg. There were bandages all over, especially on her head. Her face and eyes were completely swollen.

I came to know she met with an accident previous night and was rushed to hospital with an emergency ward of the hospital. The doctors had already performed the operation to save her life as she had suffered a major injury in head.

It’s the worst experience of life to see the person you love, adore and respect, lying in the bed of hospital with bandages all over her body. Everyone from her family were around her. I started praying for her speedy recovery and waited impatiently for her to open her eyes. It was the toughest time of my life. Doctors had told she will be admitted for around 15 days followed by complete bed rest for two months.

Finally she opened her eyes by mid-afternoon and the first thing she did was smiled and thank God for saving her life. I was amazed to see her this gesture. She gave us the courage to fight with the situation assuring us that this time will pass soon and everything will be alright. She had the strongest will power and that day I learned the lesson from her that no matter what, never give up with your confidence, will-power and determination. Face everything in life with positivity and smile and surely you will conquer everything. It took few months for her to recover completely and few years for her scars to vanish.

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But as said, life goes on. I left India, in 2006. And despite the vast geographical distance between us, our friendship grew stronger with each passing year. With her, I have the best memories of my life – the fights and debates, the laughter and celebrations, our shopping sprees and movie sessions. Even today our morning starts by giving each other missed calls, which means ‘Good Morning’. It’s been 14 years now since we started this ritual of our friendship, growing stronger with each passing day.

Thanks to advance technology and gadgets now, which are helping us to stay in touch despite miles apart. Looking forward for the next visit to meet her and hope to celebrate our friendship.

happiness, Perfection

Physical appearance and virtue


Physical appearance and virtue
People give more importance to physical appearence
https://gulfnews.com/lifestyle/community/readers-views-is-beauty-just-a-perception-1.63819182

Our perception, makes beautiful things look more beautiful!

Beauty according to me can be categorised into ‘Appearance’ & ‘Virtue’.

What a majority of us do is reach a conclusions based on a person’s appearance. As a result virtues are ignored. Only few consider looking deep into a person’s virtue, keeping appearance aside. Cosmetics and make-up bloggers today, play a vital role in defining beauty. Make-up can change the way someone looks. In addition to this, we have various applications now on our mobile phones which highlight and enhance the beauty, making us look flawless.

When I see this today, I keep imagining the women of the past, during 1700s till 1900s. Beauty was not defined by social media post back then.

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Today, some women are considered naturally beautiful and rest look beautiful and appealing through various means now available in market, to fit into the so called ‘beauty standards’.

But here, I keep wondering where our perception of beauty is really heading too? Because according to my opinion, ‘‘Perception of quality is affected by opinions, experiences, appearances, recommendations, comparative analysis, usefulness, appeal, utility and many other things which is an individualistic choice’’.

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When we see someone pretty on a magazine cover, there can be alterations probably done to make the image look pretty, so I automatically assume that what I see is a prettier version of reality.

I think most people today are aware of the fact that most images we see around are retouched, and don’t represent reality. I personally think that the media nowadays edits too much stuff.

To me it seems like everything that is human, is gone now. They seem unreachable and their ‘beauty’ unachievable, which can harm peoples psyche.

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I look up to people that are real and admit to having flaws. This make them so much more human and relatable.

Usually, the rich can appear ‘beautiful’ due to cosmetics and things that they can afford, to fit the society’s perception of beauty.

Rigorous advertisements for staying fit also give people a complex and make them believe that losing weight will help them look beautiful.

But here health has to supersede beauty. It is important to be healthy above anything else.

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I believe everyone is beautiful but not everyone sees it. It is truly said that beauty lies in the eyes of beholder. Our perception, makes beautiful things look more beautiful. For me a person is ten times more attractive, not by their looks but by their acts of kindness, love, respect, honesty, and loyalty.

hobbies

Reading helps you connect with your inner self


https://m.khaleejtimes.com/editorials-columns/reading-helps-you-connect-with-your-inner-self

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/readersblog/lamiyasiraj/reading-helps-you-connect-with-your-inner-self-2844/

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Reading stimulates imaginations

Books! Imagine how vast the world of books is in itself, isn’t it? For many people like me, books are lifeline. The activity of reading books gives immense pleasure and sense of completeness, taking our imagination to next level. Just the thought of finding out how many different kind of books are available in this whole world, in how many different languages, on various topics and subjects fascinate me. A wide variety of knowledge and information is being imparted from all of this books, to all those taking advantage out of them!

The most precious gift in my life are books,

I can open again and again…

The imaginations and creativity of our minds are being strengthened by reading. When we read about unknown places , our mind itself creates the imaginative images in our heads, rather than simply saving images from small screen memory.


“Some books leave us free and some books make us free.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Recently, we a group of ladies had gathered for one such activity for reading and understanding of an ‘auspicious book’. There I met my friend carrying a small bag stuffed with big heavy books. By heavy, I means books of more than 500 pages. ‘What is this Zain’? I asked. ‘‘small bag, big books’’ she replied with a smile.

Reading improves focus and concentration

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Yes, I thought to myself thinking. Aren’t our brains like this? The size of our brain is small compared to our body. But think of the knowledge it contains.

The habit of reading books can save us as well as change us in a long way. Reading books can bring about a positive change in us. There are umpteen libraries, but parents and teachers put in an extra effort to make the young ones read, to instill the habit of reading in them. But sadly, the present generation seems to be moving away from books. They are more impressed by technology and in surfing the Net. Reading is almost forgotten.

The pleasure of holding a book, the smell of pages while reading, getting totally engrossed and travelling miles while being seated at home, well words cannot explain that feeling. Newspapers and magazines have become e-versions. Books are stored in devices though I agree in a way it’s good for the environment as papers are saved.

Books are fascinating

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Reading allow us a greater width and depth of experience that we simply cannot have in our own lifes.

But I am sure there are still book lovers out there, who prefer to read and save those books filling their cupboards with varieties of books, and adding to their collections. I have also witnessed people who just love to collect books but hardly open and read them.


“Reading is a discount ticket to everywhere.”  – Mary Schmich

Surely, reading has many benefits. It strengthens memory, reduce stress, improves empathy, expands vocabulary, and makes you wiser, smarter and probably more useful. Books introduce you to libraries, to silence, to magic. It changes your subconscious mind. Its bring positivity, productivity and the ability to become better at everything. It can take you to places, through imagination or either for education, conferences or for work. You, can never be alone if you inculcate the habit of reading, because a book can be your companion.

Lastly without any offend to non-readers, as it’s a personal choice, I can say reading help you to ‘embrace your emotional self’ and connect with your inner self.

Perfection

‘‘Listen to understand, not refute’’


https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/readersblog/lamiyasiraj/listen-to-understand-not-refute-2476/

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.

– M. Scott Peck

The Basics

Staying quite by listening attentively to the one talking is crucial because if we keep interrupting, we won’t be able to understand the other person at all. To become a good listener we need patience and practice. A good listener is the key for building a strong relationship with good conversation. A good listener, gets involves completely into the conversation by sharing his valuable time, and paying attention to the people.

We normally have tendency to interrupt. We don’t listen to understand, we listen to reply! We can improve our techniques for having a better communication by listening, paying attention to the speaker. We need to be attentive. In our day to day life, we do conversation with so many people like our family members, friends, relatives, colleagues at work place or offices, strangers out for work, and many more. But mostly we lose our patience, at times ready to answer and loose the track.

The best classic example is our conversation with our children. We as elder’s listen to respond. By becoming judgmental and passing an advice in half way. We make an opinion in the middle of the conversation itself and shoot our comments. Is this the right way? It creates more generation gap. Isn’t it frustrating when we talk and someone interrupts us. How irritated we feel, so it’s the same, two way round.

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Responding

To become a good listener we need to learn not to be impatient. Also not to be in hurry to give our opinion, rather take time to listen & understand. By enhancing the skills of listening one become more credible, trustworthy, adding value. Be humble while responding back. By doing so, more strong and positive relationships are built.  Same time also be very careful of people whose words don’t match their actions. This would save you in long term.

To be an active listener, we must try to go beyond the words and form a rich picture of the other person’s emotions and intentions.

It is important not to be judgemental. Conclusions should not be made in between the conversation. If required try to remember and note it down, and discuss later. Body language is utter most important when you are listening to someone or something. Always maintain a body posture. Pay attention because if you don’t concentrate, you will soon find out that your mind have turned to other ideas or thoughts.

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How can we improve our active listening skills?

Active listening, like any skill, is developed by practising, not by reading about it. Rather than focusing on right and wrong while listening, open your mind and try to think in terms of creating new. Consider each mind as flower, which goes through its own cycles of growth, budding, bloom and decay. Pause your opinions, debating and absolute knowing for long enough. Be a listener in such a way that it makes valuable and significant contributions that are meaningful. What is essential is that we come together as community and communicate.

Increase your motivation to listen. This is known as the effective framework for active listening. This motivation might be the desire to improve a relationship, follow instructions without wasting time, make someone feel better to make an exchange as clear as possible.

challenge

Walking Challenge


Walk for 30 mins and see the difference for yourself! Good health mentally and physically forever, lifetime.

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/readersblog/lamiyasiraj/walking-challenge-2379/

Walking to a fitter lifestyle
Reder discusses the importance of being healthy
https://gulfnews.com/opinion/op-eds/readers-views-the-walking-challenge-1.62494640

Recently I got myself enrolled for a walking challenge with an intention to achieve serious results about my weight loss and get a healthy habit of walking for long term benefits. Within a week’s time it left me thinking with numerous questions unanswered.

How many of us are living a healthy lifestyle in today’s reality, where things and work are getting easier to be done with the help of advanced technologies and machines. We use elevators and lifts instead of stairs. Washing machine and vacuum have taken away physical work, we use to do before. Cooking has become effortless with mixer grinder, dough and roti makers. Reasons for obesity and other health issues like high blood pressure, diabetes, thyroid and many more are due to less physical exercises and more relaxed life style. Now what we do in gym for an hour with various exercises like weight lifting, body bump, elliptical, treadmill all can be done at home just bringing a little change in our lifestyle maintaining a regime for walking an hour a day. Start using stairs forgetting we have lifts around.

Before two decades, its true we never had gyms in demand. Now the present situation narrates its own story for awareness of fitness and also use of vehicles like bikes, scooters, cars and many more, immensely preferred rather then bicycle or walking.

There are so many events, activities happening these days like yoga, outdoor exercises, fitness challenges, special promotions for walking events, to create awareness for fitness and healthy lifestyle. Our body is our permanent home till we are alive. We should love it, take care of it. Many people participate in such events positively agreed.

As we are living in a competitive world, I wonder do people really participate in such challenges understanding that it’s for our own self and not to win or compete with others. Competitions are healthy no doubt but many a time’s main aim for participation is lost and forgotten. We shouldn’t be doing it for the sake of 1st prize and gifts only. It is basically to learn to adopt the healthy life style. It is to help one form a good habit and routine. Set a target for daily basis and try to accomplish that. Break your own records and not of others for others.

What I witness in the walking challenge was people were in race to defeat one other. The step’s targets before signing off for the day is set in such a way that other person can’t beat it. Daily an unbeatable target is set for all who are participating. Many started to get demotivated thinking this is unachievable and we can’t do it. No one was willing to hold hands and do it as team work inspiring each other to go till finish line or say achieve monthly target. What I saw was all age group had participated. And rather than boosting the elderly person youngster are in different mind-set of competition.

Aspire yourself to become an inspiration for other…

‘Struggling against thoughts is what causes stress’. Walking helps to destress the mind. A healthy walk daily for around 30 to 45 mins can take u a long way filing you up with positivity, making immune system strong, helping build the stamina. Aspire yourself to become an aspiration for others. Leave the competition and do it for yourself and see the change you get with a life time experience.

Technology

Technology: A boon or bane?


Article in Gulf News, UAE.

Robots in, humans out? Real problems in virtual realm.

Recently when i visited Hong Kong, a technologically advanced country, I was overwhelmed and worried. I saw a combination of science and technology being incorporated in one’s daily life. There were fewer human beings being employed and more robots and a great use of Artificial Intelligence.

Technology has been improved and updated on a very vast and wide scale in a small span of time. Progress with improvements in artificial intelligence (AI) is remarkable. I think some science fiction movies are great sources to understand how AI can transform the future and the world. It gives us a small indication of how it will get better in the coming decades.

It can wipe out people’s jobs.

Technology helps us improve our lives and make things easier. However, there are two sides to everything. Undoubtedly, AI will grow further, but I am sure it will have both a positive and a negative impact on the world. I cannot stop myself from agreeing that yes, while Artificial Intelligence is going to make life easier with all the advanced gadgets, but what about humans beings? Where will we go? Are jobs going to exit? Will they stay secure? Will the ‘human touch’ still be important or will technology take over everything?

There are some aspects to be wary of…

Recently when I visited Hong Kong, a technologically advanced country, I was overwhelmed and worried. I saw a combination of science and technology being incorporated in one’s daily life. There were fewer human beings being employed, more robots and machines and a great use of science and artificial intelligence. Every single individual had a device in hand, and had their head bowed all the time. Things are easily available at the fingertips. Language is no longer a problem, in a new place or country, as we have Google Translate and other applications. We have driverless cars, trains, automobiles and much more. This is a proof of how technology is already overtaking the planet.

I still have confidence that Artificial Intelligence, hopefully, cannot replace human beings or overtake their role in the world. It can be used to aid current functioning and be employed for security and defence strategies within and between the countries.

At the same time, if we compare, the last 10 years have been fruitful and a game changer for the planet. Before, people hardly were aware for new aspects in life but now through social media, businesses are also increased and promoted giving fair amount of profits. It gives us an opportunity to create something incredible.

happiness

Valentine’s Day – Single day to express love?


https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/readersblog/lamiyasiraj/valentines-day-single-day-to-express-love-1930/

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

‘‘Love is in the air’’. As February comes, it’s seen all over. No one is ready to be behind in this race. Feels like there’s a healthy competition going on everywhere. Advertisements are endorse on a large scales then be it for renowned airlines, jewellery shops, newspaper, magazines, restaurants, garments, gift shops, gyms or malls. Offers everywhere. Same hoardings with red theme and hearts around. Internet and media are also seen playing a major role to promote all these.

Photo by Humphrey Muleba on Pexels.com

Now this has left me thinking, do we need only one day or a special day in a year to express our love? Will it prove our love and relationship? Will it make it stronger by spending all our time, energy and money on Valentine’s Day? Does all who participate by gifting roses, chocolates and various gifts are able to prove their love, or just do it for the sake of doing it to sustain in society? How many are genuine with their intentions?

According to me, love cannot be bound or expressed on a particular day combined with goodies and a dinner date. Love is a divine feeling. We need to feel and live with it for it. It’s a lifetime commitment, how can one day or a moment be enough for it! If you love someone truly make every day a valentine day, every moment special, why restrict it to just one day! True love is not only gifts and dinner dates. It cannot be materialistic. It’s beyond all this. Keeping the one you love happy is important. Provide security by all means. Respect the person and give equal right to the opinions and weightage to decisions in life.

How can we neglect the other aspect for those who all are single or heart broken and alone? How must they be feeling? I am sure they go into a deep shell on such  day. What level of struggle they must be doing fighting themselves hard to pass this day out? Would like to give an advice here to all of them to be ‘’happy’’.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

By being happy they can survive and conquer not only this day but their entire life. I know it’s easy said than done! Start believing, happiness starts within ourselves. The day we will learn to love ourselves, we will learn to be happy. Many of us misunderstand life, by thinking and making firms decisions for future. We should not trade our happiness for what we think we need. Materialistic things can never make us happy because they are temporary and limited. Don’t spend money to impress people, when you don’t like it. No doubt we become happy by what we give. But don’t get the two confused!

Photo by Bess Hamiti on Pexels.com

Let’s be creative towards our freedom and passion. It will surely reveal great rewards. Do not allow precious moments to pass-by full of unnoticed experiences. Don’t let the charm and hype of Valentine’s Day make you feel empty, leaving you hungry. Be happy, because you are the greatest undiscovered adventure of your lifetime.

Technology

The obsession with going viral.


”Social media users promote ‘meaningless’ content”.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

In today’s era everyone wants to be safe. People these days wants a hassle-free life. If we talk about internet, almost everyone is on social media. They have accounts on various platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram and more. Lately all people want to do on social media is make things ‘viral’. There are three categories of users on the internet.

  • One is the spectators. They scroll through their timelines on different online platforms and before signing off for the day. Many times it’s just for pleasure and is aimless. They personally don’t want to participate in any thing and also don’t want to share anything on social media.

” People are attracted to viral content”.

  • The Second category belongs to those people who are actually active on social media. These people are mostly always online. They actively post photos, share videos and like the same for others. Such people enjoy sharing their lives online and collecting likes. They do it to show off.

”People must give attention to ‘worthy’ causes”.

  • The last kind of online users is those people who are trying to make difference and raise their voices for justice and awareness. Such people create campaigns and appeal to people about various causes. They use social media to make a difference and change lives.

But the question here is how many of us takes things seriously on social media. Should we? Social media is a powerful tool and has the potential to change the world. Many things get promoted online but for some reason, real causes don’t.

Photo by Daniel Reche on Pexels.com

People can make an egg go viral but no one has the energy to make other important issues viral.

Why is the same effort not put in for issues like global warming, racism, and other noble causes?

If we can give likes to useless posts, and forward them, we can join hands for deserving issues and charity posts instead.

Let’s not make irrelevant material viral on social media for absolutely no reason. We should join hands to promise to promote what is actually deserving.

challenge

New year resolutions to follow


Never lose focus

The tempo and excitement of New Year resolutions normally starts to fade away in a few months, many a times completely vanishing. For me, it’s very important to keep myself motivated till I accomplish my resolutions and stick to them till End. Every year teaches me to be more focused towards my goals. Motivation requires attention on regular basis so I have formed a habit to remind my sub conscious mind by training it on daily basis, attaching it with my habit of brushing my teeth first thing in morning. Secondly, I stick a note on the mirror on my dressing table so that I read it daily, and it pushes me towards my targets. I stay firm with my resolution and work towards it on daily basis.

New Year resolutions are made so that we can challenge ourselves. We all work hard to achieve our dreams and make them a success. New Year resolutions give us wings to fly, and the motivation we need to succeed.

When I was a child, I never knew the seriousness of making a resolution for the New Year. We used to make promises and plans but failed to fulfil them, promising to follow through with our resolutions next year. Taking oaths and deciding is one thing, but to work on a goal till it is realised is another. Life taught us that dreams are achievable, and you can become successful only with proper planning and determination.

Initially, when I used to make plans, I wasn’t able to accomplish them. I felt disheartened. Gradually I understood that just having a resolution is not enough, effort needs to be put into achieving it.

For the last few years my dedication is helping me achieve my New Year resolutions. I have transformed my needs according to situations, and I have set realistic goals.

Last year I made a resolution to focus on my health. By the grace of God, and the support of my husband and family, I accomplished it. Second was to start writing again. I always felt I had an ocean of thoughts within me, I was shy with my pieces, but realised that even if my work gave pleasure to one person, my job was done. I recommend people to keep their resolutions simple and live each moment of life.