Have you ever sat by the window all lost and depressed, and suddenly a little bird comes, fills you up with hope, and flies away? Life always has something to teach us with every step we take. For example, any relationship’s emotions attached to ‘Love’ can either make or break us.
In this book, ‘Destined to heal within’, Naira has some of the most touching and rarest moments of her life: Lifelong friendship and the pain of seeing her friend on a deathbed, breathing the air by the beach, embracing love in her life, liveliness to lead life along with happiness, later facing the consequences to choose between personal and professional life and much more. Would Naira be able to handle the things that life threw her way? Would she be able to heal along the way? Read “Destined to heal” to know more about Naira’s journey.
‘Destined to heal within’ is a novel with highs and lows of friendship, love, and life narrated and engraved in its pages.
Let’s go through each chapter’s burb and know what the novel, mainly each chapter contains – only highlights without spoiling the story 🙂
I want to share a few dialogues from the novel that is captivating and that the readers have shared with me across the world. Also, while reading the novel, a few form an image of the same in the reader’s mind.
LITTLE BIRDIE ON THE WINDOW
Chapter 1 is about a girl called Naira going on an international vacation with her friend Tisha. A brief introduction about how her friend Tisha is: Naira also receives a letter on the trip, name withheld, taking her to her initial days of their MBA.
SHOP TILL YOU DROP
Chapter 2 is about shopping and feeling good about yourself. Also, chapter 2 highlights Naira’s 1st coffee date and the rest of the day being interrogated by her friend Tisha with questions like “Whom, Where, Why, When, etc.etc.”
ERUPTION OF PAIN
Chapter 3 Naira was worried about why Tisha didn’t come to college and later found out about the tragedy with Tisha. Naira’s found peace with his new friend Ivan while Tisha was away. The highlight of the chapter is the realisation – “How difficult it is to see our loved ones in pain. It is more painful then being in pain ourselves.”
A NEW DAWN
Chapter 4 Naira receives a heartwarming surprise from Tisha. Naira started to share a few episodes of her life, narrating how lively Tisha was and how she used to play pranks on her. Ivan enjoyed listening to their stories, expressing he must have met Naira & Tisha earlier in his life as he felt he had lost much fun by not being with them and regretted it.
SPLASH OF MEMORIES
Chapter 5 Is the realisation of the developing emotions and the first fight between Naira & Ivan. It is fun to read why they fought in the first place and how they patched up. Also, the chapters define the first gift that Ivan gifted to Naira. The chapters also showcase their chatting and Ivan’s letter for Naira – A must-read letter!
A NEW BEGINNING
Have you ever had a challenging but fun-filled day? Have you ever given dares to your friends or received one? Throughout this chapter, you will observe the fun the friends had and how Naira gave Ivan a dare. Ivan accepted the offer but with one condition: he could ask for anything in return once he won.
So check out for yourself who won and who lost. Also, before ending her day, Naira went to the hospital to meet Tisha and saw the movements in her ward and the panel of doctors standing by her bedside covering the entire area… What must have happened to her now?
FLIES HIGH WITHOUT WINGS
After spending a beautiful day with friends at the mall and giving dare to them, which only Ivan accepted and fully fulfilled, Naira felt content. She started a beautiful morning, sitting on her balcony and enjoying her day. Naira was grateful for many things in her life, but the supreme two for today were Tisha back in her life, and her heart had already fallen for Ivan and getting reciprocal for her feeling for the same from Ivan. The chapters beautifully define how the moments in life should be cherished.
Ivan met Naira the next day and told her he had learnt a lot from her and the day they spent together in the mall with all her dares. While having fun still, there was life learning lessons that the day taught him that he would preserve, never forget, and henceforth implement in his life.
Naira collected memories and gifts, treasuring them in the box and her heart and had almost forgotten about them. Is this what usually happens with everyone? The same happened with Naira until she had a reason for celebration, and with a unique idea about the plan of celebration, she got her things out of the treasure box and lived the moments once again. Numerous flashbacks of memories with each gift hit Naira hard.
THE MIDAS TOUCH
First love, first coffee date, first-ever confession, first romantic walk on a rainy day. And the comfort I received while resting my head on his shoulder for the first time was unbeatable, like all stress melting away with the rain, and I was getting drenched in his love – these are the emotions Naira lived in that one single day!
ONE STEP AT A TIME
A time comes in Naira’s life when she desperately waits for Ivan. Want Ivan to attend the surprise she had organised for Tisha. Also, she wanted both of them to meet today in person. But luck was not in favour of the Naira. Check it out for yourself; what happened? Naira also wanted her first kiss to do wonders – like fireworks! But it was the opposite of what she wanted. So now she is confused about her feelings for Ivan. Is she genuinely in love with Ivan? Or is it just infatuation? She still needs to find it out for herself.
CONFUSED FOR CONFESSION
The chapter will take you on a ride to a Zumba class and how the sneak peek happens between classes. The chemistry between best friends is showcased, how one need not say anything, but the other one understands everything.
A NEW OPPORTUNITY
Life never stops giving surprises. Will it be the same with Naira? Not knowing her future, she gave her best for the exams and nailed it. Soon she got an offer from a multinational company for an internship for three months, but the only condition was to leave her city and her loved ones and go to Mumbai. She never knew after going to a new city. She would be facing new challenges and missing her loved ones like hell. How would Ivan react to her new lifestyle? Would Ivan help Naira to cope with work pressure and her health?
After completing her internship, Naira got a job offer from the same organisation. The first thing she did was called Tisha and inform her about the new development. Gradually Naira got busy with her new job and in the new city, but she was missing her hometown, Tisha and Ivan. Time flew. Suddenly while fixing a date for her upcoming meeting, she remembered it was Ivan’s birthday shortly. Planning for a surprise visit to Ivan and spending the whole day with him, she immediately booked the tickets. Before meeting Ivan, Naira wanted to spend time with Tisha, so she spent the night with her. As Tisha talked, she suddenly remembered her accident, the car that had hit her, and its number plate! This began a new chapter in Naira’s and Tisha’s life.
LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE
Naira had made all the preparations much in advance for Ivan’s birthday. But she hardly knew the day would end up opposite to what she had planned. The drive was scenic and romantic, as Naira wanted, but the romance was missing on the drive that day! Why? Isn’t it frustrating when you love someone, you end up only arguing after a particular time in life? Like you both cannot communicate without arguing. It is more frustrating to understand and to be understood. Also, the day wrapped up with the much-awaited mystery of ‘Who is the culprit?’
Naira was doing good with her professional life when suddenly, her personal life demanded more of her. She never in her wildest dream had thought about an emergency and witnessing hospital life again.
Once again, she saw her loved one on the hospital bed after Tisha, shattering her into bits and pieces.
The only solace was the words spoken by her loved one, whom she trusted more than her life.
‘It is incredible how words and kindness have the power to heal, perhaps much more than medicines.’
“The one whom you trust the most betrays your trust.”
Naira now realised how difficult it must have been for Ivan to survive without her when she accepted the job offer from a multinational company in Mumbai and got extremely busy with her new job and new life. It is good to be professional, keeping yourself engaged with work but not at the cost of keeping your loved ones waiting…
Destiny was giving back Naira now – as she was back in her hometown, but Ivan was not there. This time it was Ivan who was away and not only from the city but also from the country.
Waiting for replies and delay in communication was irritating both of them, and the distance seemed to be also peeping in on their relationship.
Slowly the return date of Ivan from days became weeks, and from weeks became months.
Naira was still waiting, but the messages, responses and replies were getting lesser, halted, and at a point, it ended… Keeping Naira waiting…
Why has Ivan done this to Naira???
BACK TO THE PRESENT
One of the rarest chapters with dialogues/wallpapers on all my favourite characters in the novel – Naira, Kiaan and Ivan! Tisha is supporting Naira to accept reality and move on! Easy said than done! Naira is also working hard to get out of the pit and start over again! But the hard she tries, the harder she is pulled back by the memories of Ivan. The time spent with him, the photographs clicked together, the long late-night chats, nothing allows Naira to move ON. Will she be able to settle down? Of course, but the question remains – Where is Ivan? Why has he left Naira?
DESTINY HAS ITS OWN PLANS
Time stops for no one! It was the same for Naira. She had started to adjust to her life without Ivan devoting herself to work. Days were pretty busier, but nights still haunted her…
During this phase of her life, she found comfort in the friendship of Kiaan. Unknowingly but following the same lifestyle that she had lived with Ivan.
But as said, ‘Destiny had its own plans.’ Why is it so? Find out yourself by reading the chapter.
NO WAY OUT
“The healers heal themselves, by healing others.”
The last piece of the jigsaw puzzle was finally solved. Finally, Naira had answers to all her questions and sufferings!
It was a blessing in disguise.
Now it’s an ‘END’ of the novel or the ‘BEGINNING OF A NEW END’ – readers must decide and comment!
The novel has much more fun, snippets, sneak-peak and plot twists that are not mentioned or revealed here purposely for the readers to read and enjoy.
Those who have already read know what I am talking about.
Those who have yet to read – need to find out what exactly I am trying to hint you at!
Have you received handwritten letters or written them to anyone in your life? If yes, then you are one like me!
Well, I come from an era where handwritten letters were the only way to communicate apart from telephones. As for phone calls, those days cost a hell lot—especially the STD and ISD calls.
Today when I sit back and think about that time, I am reverie.
The other day I was talking to my daughter while driving her back home, and suddenly, the topic started with letters. She said, ‘Mamma, I really like the handwritten letters – especially the one embossed with a seal.’ She is obsessed with the letters that are sealed. Anyway, it was surprising for me as she belongs to Generation Z.
I started my communication by sharing with her, ‘Baby, you know we used to receive our annual results as a report in a yellow envelope when I was in primary school. She was shocked! Am I talking about the same era, or do I belong to some bygone era? I asked her. But the millennials will agree with me here.
I continued sharing with her how we used to wait for the postman and our annual results during the vacations after our final exams. And the anxiety would be at its peak if we had to leave the city for the summer vacation to our granny’s place, which was miles away in a different state, before receiving the post. I told her I remember sitting on the porch of my house for hours daily for the postman uncle to come on his black atlas cycle and shout my name before entering our lane and finally handing over the envelope. To open and check the result as soon as it came was a thrill and a story.
So, like this started rituals of writing letters in my life. I developed a habit of writing to myself and gradually developed the habit of writing a diary. I also wrote letters to my cousins and friends from different states and corners of the world.
I still have a bunch of two decades-old, preserved letters that my best friend wrote to me after we got married. I also have letters written by my parents and in-laws, along with my brother and a few other friends, after I left India and settled in UAE.
Somehow these handwritten letters make me feel their presence every time. I treasure them. Now, especially after losing both my father and father-in-law, today, what I have is their handwritten letters that make me feel their presence with me all the time!
There’s something about seeing a person’s feelings written down, someone taking the risk and committing that heart to paper, that means so much more than anything they could say.
“A letter is the most basic – yet the most flexible – mode of correspondence, regardless of its subject matters.”
If given a choice in the world of the internet and emails, I would prefer personal letters. Penning down thoughts carry sentiments that make memories in one’s personal life. Handwritten messages carry emotions which make the other person understand how much you love them, value them, and share your feelings to convince them.
Handwritten letters are lovely and expressive, which leave footprints in one’s heart. I love writing letters. I still do it. I write letters to my daughter and my husband to convey the feelings and emotions that I can’t express verbally.
Letter writing is truly a lost art, a vintage skill. However, the flow of a pen gracefully elaborating your thoughts to someone… Let’s revive it!
Life is gambling. Especially with what we think and what happens! Sometimes luck is on our side, but other times it might take away our everything, leaving us shattered. The best way to lead life is to do settlement. Planning yes is required. But we should not be harsh on ourselves. It’s difficult to take this journey alone. So, we have different companions in different phases of our lives, guiding us in the right direction. They can be our parents, relatives, friends, life partner, siblings, children, and so on.
But among all of these, who is the best companion for us? It’s us. If we don’t love and trust ourselves, no one else can help us. I agree we cannot lead this life alone. Yes, we do need a partner. But no one can help us until we don’t help and support ourselves.
So, surround yourself with positivity. Think positively, read positive books, see motivational movies. Stay away from destructive things. Instead, help yourself to grow and see the success for yourself.
Have you ever asked this question to yourself? We wait for our loved one to ask us this question whenever we are feeling low or lonely and left out? But at times we are left disappointed as all are busy with their own respective lives and problems solving it for their own self.
So the best way is to love your own company and own self. You will never feel left out. Whenever you feel uneasy about anything and loaded with the negative thoughts – just spare time with your own self. Ask yourself ‘How am I feeling right now?’ Why am I feeling like this? Answers to such questions will definitely lead you to a solution and make you feel better. Do whatever makes you feel better. Maybe they are simple things in life. But if that is giving you peace and makes you happy, why not! Go for it!
Try all that either you have forgotten or you think might not help you, because those are the things that only will or might help you. Like go for a walk, eat your favourite ice-cream or chocolate, call someone whom you are missing at that weak moment or you haven’t called for a long time, watch a movie, listen to music or just go to sleep becoming a lazy bum :)!
At times when you are feeling low, you might ask yourself‘Why am I living?’ I will be discussing this in my day two journal.
What is making you feel how you feel right now?
Let’s continue… Giving the feed to the brain yes I want you to ask yourself ‘What is making you feel how you feel right now?’ Here I am considering both the facts – like two sides of a coin. You might be feeling happy or you might be feeling sad! So go deep into the process of analysing why this side of your emotions got triggered and what are the sentiments or emotions behind it.
Getting happy is understood and acceptable as not much rocket science needs to be applicable. But the other side definitely needs attention. At the time of being upset you might end up asking the question ‘Why am I living’? Consider this as an important question for yourself and acknowledge it with positivity. Don’t ignore it or sit and crib else you will only be pushed towards the deep valley of negativity leading to stress and depression – causing a disaster.
At this stage you might not find a purpose of living if you think about it. Gradually you will understand and have a motto as well as a mission for the same. If still you don’t get an answer – drill this into your mind that my first purpose of living is ‘LEARNING’! Learning cannot and should not be stopped.
Second is ‘IMPROVING’. Keep on improving yourself to make your life extra beautiful. But again you might end up asking why and what should I improve? So, here the simple logic and answer that you need to keep answering yourself is ‘to have proper future plans and for their improvements’.
The third one is ‘SHARING’. Here, the question you will ask is ‘How do you share and why do share what you have?’ There are ample people in this world who are in adversity. They need your help. If you have the desire and passion to help them out, you must first have enough skills for yourself.
Therefore, first comes ‘LEARNING’, then ‘IMPROVING’ and lastly ‘SHARING’.
So, All in all, to know yourself is one of the main reasons to not let yourself down!
See you at DAY 3 Journal 🙂
If you could change one thing about how you feel right now, what would it be?
Answer this question yourself first in the journal before you scroll down. Note it down. If you want to help yourself and feel energetic/good/relaxed/complete/thankful. 🙂
If you have a BAD DAY this is how you feel, isn't it?
I am sure 99% will be unhappy with something or the other with themselves and start making a list for themselves what they want to change. Try it yourself! A long list would be waiting like ‘I am unhappy with my life, my face, my nose, my skin, my legs, my family, my friends, my job, my career, my marriage, my children, etc etc’…
But have you ever given this a thought that these are all materialistic things. These are not permanent. With age and time everything fades. Why do we think negative only when this question is asked!
I don’t say or debate that you should not feel upset or sad! NO! My point here is yes be real with your emotions but don’t get drowned in them. Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you had in your mind. For every lost opportunity, find solace knowing there is a way out and you definitely can make things alright. Have that solid confidence in yourself.
I can list down here how and what should be done when you are feeling low but I won’t do it till you do what I have mentioned below. As in Day 4, you will be answering yourself once I start the topic. As here we are maintaining a journal for you to help yourself. For preaching unlimited stuff is available in the forms of books, videos, audios, write-ups, messages… So I don’t want to be the one doing the same thing in different a manner.
Now, can you be different from the herd? If not try at least. List down the things you are happy with. Feel the difference then. Be thankful for what you have rather than what you want to change!
See you on Day 4 🙂
Explain one thing that you’re ‘GRATEFUL’ for right now!
Starting the Day with a Positive vibes and a positive note, tell me have you note down the things that were asked in yesterday’s Journal? Well if you have then I am sure you must have slept feeling peaceful. So today we will continue here with the same topic. Now from your list of answers what is that ‘One Thing’ you are most GRATEFUL for right now…
I agree we need to be grateful for everything in our lives then be it materialistic things or not. Being grateful opens the door for more opportunities.
So, exercise done? Then only scroll down! And read my point of view 🙂
Why limit yourself to one particular thing each day?
Did you thought this way before listing down your one thing to grateful for right now?
The goal and focus should be as much gratitude as possible for as many things as you can and as often as possible. Expand your focus broadly enough and it will be easy to find much more than one thing to be grateful for in your day to day life, GUARANTEED!
Here if I have to share my experience I will start with: "I am grateful for a wide range of things everyday!"
Each morning, when I wake up, I am grateful to have the experience of being alive in such a magnificent, awe-inspiring universe.
I am grateful to be surrounded by love and support. I am grateful that I can share my life with people who cherish me and who I cherish. I am grateful to have been born into a society that’s progressive. I am grateful that my parents, particularly my mother, did a bang-up job of raising me and instilled in me a sense of self-efficacy.
I have an amazing life. I like being me, even if some bits of being me are frustrating sometimes. I am grateful for it all.
Have you ever thought of it this way?
I will share an activity that I have been practising for several years. The first thing I do every morning when I get up is to get out my small notebook that I have kept next to my bed and write down three things that I am grateful for that moment. As I am doing these for several years now, I am sure I’ve repeated myself several times, but I try to make something different everyday so that nothing is left out to be grateful from my life and my subconscious mind. I started this practice when I was going through a terrible time, feeling not getting enough of what I deserve and desire. As said it is easy to feel stressed, upset, and depressed when it seems things aren’t right for us! This tip I had read on some blog and decided to try it out. I am glad it worked 🙂
There are still plenty of stressors and issues in my life that I am working to remedy. But what changed as a direct result of this practice is my attitude and outlook. So I can share this today that even with a stressful day ahead of you, it really does make a difference to start the day on a positive note. Later I didn’t limit myself to the mornings. I kept writing down for every small thing happening to be grateful for throughout the entire day.
By making an effort to focus on gratitude throughout the day, it began to become an automatic habit in the brain. Feeling grateful feels a hell lot better than feeling angry, bored, frustrated, depressed or any other emotion from the dark side of the force. The habit is self-perpetuating. In any situation, even the unpleasant ones, you can find something to be grateful for.
So now share with me your experience of being ‘GRATEFUL’ by commenting back. I am waiting for it 🙂 And just a hint: Day 5 is gonna be different and more thrilling. Get yourself ready for it ;).
Explain the sensations in your body right now – be specific!
Now this is tricky as well as a straight question. While answering don’t restrict yourself. Let your emotions float. When was it last when you had thought about the sensation in your body, taking out time for yourself?
Most of the time, fulfilling our duties in life with a lot of responsibilities we tend to forget ourselves and our emotions especially the sensations our body goes through…
Take this opportunity to feel the sensations your body is feeling right now! Feel it. Live it.
Sensations could be anything since long you haven’t felt or want to feel now. Go for it!
Share yours once you are done for Day 5 and I will share mine 🙂
Okay! Now my turn! Sensation right now that OI am feeling right now is ‘Contemplate’!
A sensation is:
The operation or function of senses: Perception of awareness of stimuli through the senses. Perception can be subjective.
2. A mental condition or physical feeling resulting from stimulation of a sense organ or from internal bodily change, as cold or pain.
So a sensation is a feeling whether its from a touch or smell or taste. As for a thought, a thought in and of itself can’t be a sensation. But they can create sensations. Like thinking that ‘You are on a beach and feeling the sand below your toes even though you are at home’.
This is how true and strong emotions for somebody or something create a high impact on our lives with high sensitivity of sensations 🙂
Write down one worry you have right now?
It’s important. Whether you implement it or not. Write down the worry you have right now, in your life! I could have started the write-up with ‘Do you have worry right now’? But I didn’t because we as humans definitely cannot live and lead our lives without worrying for anything or something. Our subconscious mind is always surrounded by it, whether we want it or not! I am not going into the classification or detailing of it, No! I just want you to write it down!
By writing it down
It will be out from your chest.
You will be able to focus on it.
You will feel committed.
You will believe in yourself.
You will get direction and a feeling of self-fulfilment.
It will help you answer the questions of your life’s purpose.
Write it down with with the help of:
Here is the reflective exercise that will help you once you write it down:
Help you deal with your feelings.
Help you deal with fairness in your life.
Help you resolve conflicts.
You are not the only one with worry or worries! Please keep this in mind. Everyone lives through life with negative experiences and emotions.
The way you deal with those negative experiences and emotions is the real key to HAPPINESS.
So, Here the exercise that I am offering you to do is to describe your one worry from your day also as if you are the 3rd person watching it.
It is easy to get upset when we are all ‘I’ but the whole scene might change when we let go of the ‘I’ and try to look at the matter objectively. This exercise will help you unwind and live a more peaceful, happier life.
It’s a tendency to keep a bunch of notes as well as worries in the mind and heart. That’s not healthy! By writing down everything you need to attend to, you free your mind from distractions and let it be free.
The bottom line with this exercise is to stop remembering and start writing.
Just get it down on paper and out from your MIND.
Once you have done you will notice how much easier it is to look at your ‘WORRY’ and resolve it.
By writing down your worry you will achieve:
Improved quality of sleep.
This exercise has the power to:
Show you how great your life is…
Motivate you when you are down.
Create more victories in your life.
Improve your overall happiness and life satisfaction.
Try this out for yourself and share your results... If not with me at least with your own self!
Now write down 3 logical ways to think about that worry?
In the day 6 a brief explanation is given on ‘Worry’! So am sure you must have followed and understood the root causes of it. So, today I want you to start with thinking three logical ways to think about that worry that you have pen down on Day 6.
I will help you here:
Do you think logically
Do you think mentally
Do you think emotionally
Do you think rationally
Is it really necessary and required
Let me share with you that ‘Worry’/’Stress’ are silent killers. Don’t allow them to make a home in you!
Letting/Allowing fear or anxiety of the future paralyzing you is BAD.
Hoarding things that others need because you will want it in future is BAD.
Not preparing for the obvious need in future is also BAD.
Trying to control the future is BAD.
One cannot stop from worrying! But thinking it rationally helps you get a solution for a better and healthy life 🙂
Next topic of Journal is interesting as well as strongly recommended for your Mental Health so stay tuned!
What do you need to let go of in your life right now?
As we have discussed a lot of worries now comes the connectivity about what you need to let go of from your life right now! Think about it. Think ‘HARD’. Think about what is causing you pain. Think that is ‘Stopping you from progressing’. At times we keep things or memories close to our hearts which needs to be let go. It maintains a healthy habit of decluttering. Not required should be removed from life. Then be it in the form of materialistic things or memories stored from the past! Make sufficient space for ‘NEW’.
Let go of your Worries, Ego, Overthinking, Anger and Revenge as it will not take you anywhere in your life. Act now, as immature people can only criticise. Let go of the past, make peace with it instead!
Think. It could be anything like:
Your Friends who betrayed you.
Regretting mistakes that you have made.
False image that you have in your head made by some people around you.
Something that happened with you without your consent.
"Don't let yesterday take up too much of today" - Will Rogers
Holding on to good memories is never harmful but holding on to bad memories can be just detrimental.
What can you do to improve your mental health today?
Have you ever taken out time for yourself doing this exercise or thought about it? If not then this the time! Do it right now. List down things you can do for your mental health like we do for our physical health by doing exercises, yoga, walking, meditation along with maintaining healthy eating habits. Equally mental health is important. It should not be ignored at any cost. Everyone has their own unique ways. So tell me today what will you do to improve your mental health?
I will help you by my TOP 10 here to improve your overall Mental Health:
Keep Away From Toxic People. They will infect you in the ways you cannot imagine.
Stay Grateful. No matter where you are in life, or what is happening, be aware there are always people struggling more than you are. It keeps a positive perspective.
Make Time for Things You Love. Hard to do, but indeed very important. I am sure you must be having a hobby for which you must have not given time for! Be it reading, writing, watching movies/series, listening to music, playing guitar, painting, driving, or any thing that you love… Make it a priority.
Stay Physically Healthy as much as possible. Go to your yearly and regular medical check ups even if you don’t feel like it, do physical therapies if you need to, take medication if you are supposed to be taking it. If you have an addiction – Address it.
Sleep. At least 6 to 8 hours. As you know it’s recommended for overall good health. If you’ve ever had bad nights of sleep, you know how they can cripple your mood and functioning. Sleeping well helps you stay well Mentally.
Examine how you Think. What’s your automatic response to events, people or situations – is it positive or negative? Try to examine how you approach the world and challenge yourself to see the potential even in tough situations, rather than the detriments. Over time, it gets natural to see the positive effects in your behaviour.
Get Active. You don’t have to be a CrossFit warrior. What is needed here is that you should move everyday – take a walk, go for cycling, swimming, any other outdoor sports, or hit the gym but keep in mind LEAVE THE MOBILE BEHIND!
Make time for Friends. Laughing and getting out of your own headspace is important. Make time to socialise with friends, get out of the house and make it a priority.
Do things for Others. Helping others will help you back. It will make you feel good. A small gesture of help can be absolutely a big game-changer.
See Food as Fuel. If you power your body with terrible things, it’s going to feel a lot more terrible than it needs to. Try to limit processed foods, sugar, and fried foods. Stick with healthier options as much as you can. It helps your brain, your mood, and your attention span!
So this is it for today. See you at Day 10 🙂
Write down three things that you achieved today and how they made you feel?
Well I could have tweaked this question like ‘Write down three things that you have achieved TILL today and how they made you feel?’ But I have refrained myself from doing that! Simple reason I want you to think of today. We have been working on day to day basics with sensitive topics in our 30 Day Journal here. So, yes note down things you have achieved today.
I have been practising all the questions myself and have seen the tremendous change in myself, my lifestyle and my thinking. So go for it. Be true to yourself!
I can answer for myself here one thing for sure after my achievements, that I get ‘Happiness’. Achievements aren’t defined here. So don’t be in a trap! It could be anything as of the day. For example for me it’s simple: watering my indoor plants and cleaning them is the biggest achievement of my day! As I am with nature and nurturing them, see them bloom and blossom. The satisfaction that I get and feel, no comparison with anything else. I am into my own world at that time. But we as humans are different from each other, so might be you must be having different emotions. Think about it and express it.
Everyone is chasing happiness, but only few know from where it comes from. Happiness is not a goal. Instead, you get to travel everyday. Here, I will be sharing a few QUOTES ABOUT HAPPINESS and smiles that will inspire you. Being happy with who you are and what you are is the only thing that can make you happy, not what people expect you to be.
Live Life Short Quotes
Judge your success with what you had to give up in order to win.
Don’t categorise achievements as something which is visible or somewhere related to money. When we read success stories of Bill Gates, Ambani, Warren Buffet, we think that they have achieved something in their lives. And if this is the scenario we can say that our mothers are housewives and have failed to achieve anything in their life. Although, they are the one who make our house a home. Going with the flow, I will say achievements are not which can be seen through medals, trophies, and money. I am not saying being successful is not an achievement, but whatever you get in life, accepting it is an achievement. You achieve something when you get contentment with something.
See ya! Stay Blessed!
Talk about the happiest time of your life.
So, here you are! How often do you talk about your happiest time with your loved ones? Do you keep sharing it? In a way keep remembering it? When you talk about your happiest time, events, gathering, achievements and so on and on… it makes the heart feel complete and at peace. It’s like there is so much in life to look forward to. When you share your happiest time – you leave stories behind for your generation to share with the upcoming generation and so on and on! You never know who is getting inspired by your aspirations. Just talk it out!
There can be absolutely thousands of things to make your day, to make your life happy one, even if not many great things are happening in your life. But the most important thing is your ‘Attitude towards your life’. How you see your life and things around you. If you have the right attitude, you will be happy even in your worst of the situations.
The key to happiness is in many things, not just one. The First one is Simplicity. You should always enjoy simple things in your life, no matter what. Don’t aspire for bigger things. Look around you, observe things, experience the beauty of serene nature, the sunrise, sunset, million stars in the night, feel the cool breeze of wind in the morning and evening time, feel the rain, feel how it feels to sleep like a child in the cold wintry days. Spend time with family, with children, love some pet animal, a dog, cat or anything. Ever heard people speaking in interviews to their friends after they have survived a tragedy, had a “life altering experience”.. They go like this, ‘Now I am more aware of myself’. And now I have started appreciating smaller, simple things in life. I have a new attitude towards life.’ This is the story of many, people don’t appreciate things until they are struck with such tragedies. Don’t be like them. Start doing such things now.
Spending time in nature is the healthiest thing. And as they say it, nature is cheaper than therapy. Don’t waste your money on some shrink, instead go out in nature, someplace nice, quiet or with your loved ones, whatever you like.
Then there’s Music. Music has the power to make you forget everything. When you are listening to music, listen intently, feel it within you, embrace it, dance to it, cry it if it’s sad. Crying is also healthy. You get it out of your system.
Reading is important. You learn a lot of things from books, read history or biopics to learn how people lived, what they changed, how they made a difference. People don’t realize the benefits of writing daily or weekly, keeping a journal. Write anything that comes to your mind, write about the things happening around the world, people around you. You feel light-headed, healthy.
Watching a movie or some episodes of a series daily, can make your day anytime. Make it a habit to watch an episode of your favourite selection before you get on with your day to day work. It will improve your mood. Watch realistic works. iSo that you can relate it to your life. Learn from it.
Having a sense of humour can help even in the worst cases. Don’t get offended easily. Make jokes, quietly in your mind to avoid beating if it becomes too much. Laugh at yourself.
One more thing which works for me, is don’t give a damn in general about things. Say, ‘My Bad’ and move on. Don’t care about what people think. Don’t whine about your stupid little problems. You could only make it worse by whining about it. I hate those people who have every reason to be happy but they are not because they want more, they compare themselves with others, and aspire for materialistic things. Never compare yourself with anyone. Don’t get jealous. Don’t get mad if you lose something.
Some more things would be as simple as, walking down the street, while listening to music, doing some photography, daydreaming, helping someone, meeting new people etc etc.
At last, be passionate about something, anything. Spend more time doing it and go after your dreams. Dream more and love more things, as many as you can. Learn something new each day. Have a Happy Life.
While doing all this. Talk! Talk about the happiest time of your life when you were busy doing it, making memories 🙂
When was the last time you did something for yourself?
After reading this question are you still thinking or you were able to answer yourself immediately? Well both the scenarios are important. If you already have an answer, good going. Keep it up! But what if you are still struggling? It’s an indication that you should take up seriously.
Anything that you did for yourself which you can mention here and which gave you happiness counts. Then be a haircut for yourself or just go to a spa. Or going for a movie or night out with friends. In this pandemic situation meeting someone you love, adore or have missed them for a long time…counts. Note it down.
Even doing something good for others, if it made you happy then its equivalent of doing something good for yourself.
So, be true to yourself and write it down for yourself. It can be more than one thing also. Surprise yourself by the answers you give to yourself 🙂
What made a positive effect on your life and why?
I am sure there may be many incidents for you to narrate here. But there must be a special one that’s engraved on your heart forever for sure. It’s like a lifetime lesson. Take a deep dive in your memories and get that one or at least one pearl out from your ocean.
I will share mine here with you all. As I am a huge fan of reading, I keep myself occupied throughout the day for maximum hours dwelled in reading. Everything and every time I read, I learn something new. At times reading the same stuff, it still leaves me with some new learning and feed for my thoughts. With life’s learning along with the combination of reading the positive impact that I have in my life are:
You are the only help to yourself. (Not even your parents or beloved ones)
Your pain is your endurance. People can only hear you and be sympathetic but the “pain” is all yours and you have to deal with it.
The more you value others, the more you are neglected. The more you value yourself, the more you grow.
Every person and situation of your life is temporary. Only you are permanent. And so, stop lamenting the wrongdoings. Start celebrating even the smallest achievement.
I would write down a few ideas which influenced my life to a great extent: So that you can write yours’s without struggling much about what has a positive effect on your life and why?
1.’The harder you sweat in peace, the lesser you bleed in war’ .
2.Anyway you have to do it. Better do it NOW.
These are the quotes I tell to myself whenever I procrastinate.
3.Remember the one who gave up? Well, we don’t remember quitters.
I tell this to myself whenever I feel like ‘Okay. I’m done. I can’t do it anymore’.
4.Patience has its reward.
My Favourite: The Chinese bamboo and learned that the tree takes 5 years, 3 months to grow to its whole height of 80 feet. Yet, for the first 5 years, you only see a tiny green shoot, but in the next 90 days, it grows into a full-fledged tree. But in those first 60 months, it is growing its strong network of roots underground, to support the tree. In an era of instant gratification, we settle for shorter trees, but remember patience has its reward. These are your years of growing that strong network of roots but be sure when you finally achieve your success, people will call it “overnight success”.
All the best 🙂 See you at Day 14
How do you feel when you consider therapy or treatment for mental illness?
Let’s start this topic today with your reaction! How did you feel when you read this question? What was your first reaction? Do you take up this question and topic as healthy? Or do you feel uncomfortable discussing or even taking it up?
Normally people are not comfortable talking about their discomfort. People think depression is not a topic to be discussed publicly! But here I want to ask Why not? If you are feeling left out, uncomfortable, stressed or have depressing thoughts and suffering alone, why not talk it out? Many times people wear a plastic smile and hide away their true feelings, letting that depression make a way deep inside them and at times taking their lives away!
So here, this is a straight question you need to answer yourself and no one else. Write it down in your Journal. What and how do you feel? If you are suffering or knows anyone who is suffering from it! Be brave to accept and ready to help. Mental health is not about the old saying ‘He/She is mad’! Take them to a mental hospital, NO! Please don’t shy away. Come forward and take help if required. Don’t suffer in ‘SILENCE’.
“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
A person with mental illness grows up and lives in a world of people mostly uneducated about mental illness, with a long-standing history of explaining mental illness as an example of spiritual or character weakness.
The stigma surrounding mental illness deserves to die, as the overwhelming majority of those with mental health diagnoses live productive lives, have good friendships and relationships, and do not pose a threat in any way to the well being of others. They are much more likely to cause harm to themselves if their illness is not successfully treated. They carry the pain, shame, and suffering inside themselves, as mental illness is most often an ‘invisible illness,” unknown and undetectable by those around them.
Even though only a small minority of the mentally ill are violent, most people perceive people with a mental illness to be more unstable or more likely to become violent.
The lack of understanding of what mental illness is leads to:
People avoid what they feel as they have a right to be afraid of and most people will also avoid what they do not understand. Frightening over-the-top images of “violent crazy people” on television or in movies do not help educate about mental illness. That a very small minority of those with mental illness commit crimes doesn’t matter, when perception of the mentally ill as violent or unlawful comes from the media sensationalizing those very few cases.
We lack an understanding and awareness of what mental illness is, we are reluctant or ashamed to admit it, and mental illness is highly stigmatized. People make negative comments and don’t realize how those comments can really affect how we feel. And how we go about our lives. And it can actually leave little scars on us inside. Nobody reaches out to emotionally distressed for help. Instead, they are shunned , ridiculed, or feared.
Sometimes, families do not consider mental illness to be a problem, we have to make them understand that mental illnesses are real medical conditions and that there are effective treatments and these must be made available to people.
Mental illness should not be stigmatized. Instead, we need to start talking about it more. We need to start giving out the truth. And not perpetuating the lies. When we see somebody who’s emotionally distressed or acting strangely, or too often intoxicated for them we need to be involved, show our concern. This may help somebody to alleviate them from unnecessary suffering. Let’s help each other. Let’s work together, As we break through the stigma. And work towards a healthy mind and a healthy body.
Think about the last time you were anxious that turned out to be nothing to worry about. How did you feel?
So, I will start here by sharing my story. I was in my high school. I was fourteen that time. My best buddy came to school and seemed lost. Till mid of the day I was struggling with her to find out what’s wrong with her! But the day was longer and luck was playing hard on me. Later she agreed to talk to me telling me I will share something with you but it’s a secret. Keep it with you. I hurriedly said ‘Promise’ go ahead and tell me quickly now. She said I have been observing some lumps in my breast and armpit. Her eyes were all filled with tears. She said at times it pains also especially when touched. I freaked out. We had just entered our teens and had witnessed few live cases of ‘Breast Cancer’. Just a week before there was a campaign about the awareness of the same in our school. And we were asked to diagnose ourselves on a regular basis. It was the time I felt extremely anxious. I was scared and was sweating. I felt breathless and at the same time suffocated. My mind started racing. Don’t know what all thoughts came to my mind about my closest friend’s suffering and me losing her. Ah! It was indeed the most scary day of my life.
She was anxious too and didn’t want to share this with anyone. Not even her parents. I calmed myself down and had a pep talk with her. Finally in a day’s time I convinced her to share this with her parents and take the reference of the free check up from the campaign that happened and stay positive. I promised her to be by her side all the time. Next day we went for her through check-ups. The time from the check-up till the results came left me all exhausted and drained out. By the grace of God everything was normal and her reports were negative. It was just the growing biological symptoms of the body. Till today we remember that day and all that we had gone through with our emotions but yes learned our hard lesson ‘Better to be safe, then Sorry.‘
Do this exercise. Write down and check it for yourself. Now go one step further. Start Analysing the causes and patterns of your worries. I will help you with a few quick tips to stop worrying for unnecessary things in life.
#1 Find the Cause.
Most things don’t actually have a leg to stand on, meaning they have no true basis to exist. If you find the cause of the worry, you can often eliminate it right there.
#2 Take the Emotion out of it.
Subjectively, the world may end when you lose your job or get out of a relationship. Objectively, however, it is not a permanent thing to anything. Don’t let your emotions cloud your reason.
#3 Record the Worry and Deal with it straight away.
“Dealing with it” is not about actually solving the worry, but more about finding a time and place at which you will handle it.
Write down a time and day on which you will be able to deal with it with whatever worry that plagues you right now; sit down even if you just have to sit down for a while to think about it.
Taking action in scheduling it makes the worry feel taken care of and at least gets it out of your head for present.
#4 Look at the Bigger Picture.
What matters to you in the end? What are you worrying over at this point? Are you worried about losing your love, or job for example? Would this matter in the end if you still found love or a better job? There is a reason things don’t seem so big in hindsight! Try to take that feeling of looking back at something and use it for today!
#5 Worry about Better Things.
It is physically impossible for your mind to think about multiple things at the exact same time; even during Multitasking your mind switches between thoughts rapidly but never deals with things simultaneously.
That being said, if you focus your thoughts on better things you will surely drown out the worry. This will get your mind into a better, overall, situation.
#6 What if the worry holds true?
Let your mind wander and then ask yourself what were to happen if the worry were to hold true. Would your life end then? Could you never be happy again? Would it all be over? Or do you think you have the power to move out of whatever horrible mess you can imagine? You have made it out of every bad thing thus far… What is to say you can’t this time should it happen?
#7 Let Go.
This will be drastically easier once you actually have applied some of the above mentioned tips. You can shortcut getting rid of the worry simply by believing that any one of the above holds true and letting the worry go based on the assumption that it holds no value. This is based mostly on trust in yourself, and therefore not something you can apply if you have worried over many things recently. But, the more you handle your worries, the easier it will be to let go of them before they truly take hold on YOU!
“ Be Grateful For What You Have. Be Fearless For What You Want.”
What was your biggest failure? And what did you learn from your biggest failure in your life?
I am sure we all have different stories and different expectations from life. So each lesson learned is different from each other. Please think and write down what you think is your biggest failure in life and what lessons have you learned from it. The failure could be anything through out in your life, from your childhood, till right now!
“My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” – Abraham Lincoln
Try and see if you recognize any of these names: Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Winston Churchill, Steven Spielberg, and Albert Einstein; how about Henry Ford? Nobody would argue that these are some of the best, brightest minds to have ever existed and that they’ve all made tremendous contributions to society. Nobody would ever attach the word failure to any one of them. But that’s exactly what they were at one time.
Failure is a matter of perspective, plain and simple. Let’s just take Abraham Lincoln, for example. The 16thPresident of the United States may just go down in history as the best leader the United States, perhaps the entire world, has ever had. What the history books will often omit however, is the number of failures that Lincoln experienced, among them: losing his jobs, failing in business, losing multiple runs for office (eight in total), and numerous rejections by colleagues and constituents; this all before being elected president in 1860. The rest is history.
Lincoln’s story alone is enough to demonstrate how failure can be a driving force towards success. The fact is that many of life’s important lessons are learned through failures and setbacks.
HERE ARE 10 LESSONS WE CAN ALL LEARN FROM FAILURE:
1. FAILURE BUILDS CHARACTER
There is a lesson to be learned from everything, including failure. Perhaps the greatest benefit earned from failure is strength. Think about it: if life were perfect and every endeavour ended in seamless success, what sort of person would you be? The truth is this – failure teaches us more about ourselves and builds character better than success ever could.
2. FAILURE CREATES OPPORTUNITY
Think about this: how many times in your life have you failed at something only to discover another opportunity? Maybe it was a failed relationship that led you to someone great. Maybe it was a job that didn’t suit you and brought you a better one. Regardless of what your “failure” was, the sweetness afterwards was much better as a result, wasn’t it?
3. FAILURE IS A GREAT TEACHER
Failure has a way of showing what your strengths and weaknesses are while motivating you to correct them. In any area of life – academics, work, play, relationships, etc. – failure is often the driving force behind success. For example, Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest basketball player in history, failed to make his high school basketball team. When asked about his early failures, Jordan said:
“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”
4. FAILURE INSTILLS COURAGE
As should be clear by now, most people are scared of failure. Many of us are unwilling to take the uncertain path; we’d just prefer to stay in the same boat and not rock it too much. After all, we have responsibilities and people that depend on us. In short, failure requires courage. Whether the failure experienced was anticipated or not, you’ll need to toughen up a bit to get through it.
5. FAILURE TEACHES PERSEVERANCE
When experiencing failure, it’s very easy to just roll over and give up. “What’s the use?” you say to yourself. It takes guts and determination to keep driving forward. Take J.K Rowling, author of the enormously successful Harry Potter series. Rowling said that she received “loads” of rejection letters over a five year span before finding a publisher for one of the most successful book (and movie) series ever. Wow.
6. FAILURE SPAWNS CREATIVITY
If necessity is the mother of invention, failure is the father. Nothing spurs creativity like failure. Artists and creators of all stripes know that if something doesn’t work out, they must tap into their large reservoir of creative talent to create something truly unique.
8. FAILURE IS ACCEPTABLE
While a simple concept, accepting failure can be difficult to truly embrace. In the midst of experiencing failure, it is never a good feeling. In fact, this feeling can be downright gut-wrenching. But just remember that failure is acceptable…lack of effort is not. Here’s Michael Jordan again: “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”
9. FAILURE ENCOURAGES EXPLORATION
Steve Jobs knew that the corporate world was not for him. In fact, many things were not. He disliked college, societal norms, and the stiffness of businesspeople. Before founding Apple with Steve Wozniak, Jobs could have been labelled as a failure…he just didn’t care. Jobs said: “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” So explore and don’t let anything, especially failure, stop you.
10. FAILURE TEACHES RESILIENCE
Along with making us better people, failure both teaches and strengthens resilience. Through the discomfort and uncertainty of failure, one will be better able to take on any of life’s challenges as they come. Resilience is something required of all successful people, and there is no better teacher of resilience than failure.
If you don’t pick yourself up by your own tail or bootstraps, then no one else will do it for you. Learn to advise and assist yourself.
Talk about three things that make you seriously ‘HAPPY?
Pen it down. Think. It could be small or no matter how big. Materialistic or real. Important is to be happy. You feeling at peace. It could be your me time you give to yourself or family time. Meeting with friends or going out for dining. Taking vacations or short break as staycation. Travelling or watching movies sitting at your own home. It can be anything.
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. Live in the moment.
My list of three things are the following.
The first thing that I do in the morning is to do meditation and take a walk for almost 40 minutes whenever I get time in the day. I feel great after the doing meditation and going for a walk as I get the feeling that I have done something fruitful with my day for wellbeing of my mental health and taking care of my body.
Just like food is must for body, learning is must for mind. I must learn something new every day. Books are my constant companions. If I read at least one hour in a day a good book, I feel blessed. Nothing pleases me as much as reading a great work of a great mind.
Writing is like my mental work-out. I have to write to express my thoughts. It is an expression of a new knowledge in my own words. I write my journal on my blog daily nowadays.
Sometime, I am busy writing a book and feel great if I get some new idea of a chapter in the morning. Occasionally I even write two or three chapters in day. Also i devote my fix time for my content writing getting it published with renowned online magazine and newspapers.
It gives a high when I write something good that is appreciated and liked by my readers.
How would you describe the state of mental health to a stranger?
Personally, I have been receiving various but similar answer to this question. While reading this, you are free to write exactly what you feel like. No force, no boundaries. I promise you won’t be judged. I have come across people whom if given a piece of advice stating that ‘Don’t worry everything will be fine. You will be fine. It happens. Learn to move on.’ Trust me you will be blocked forever. So, I feel at times it important just to be there. There to listen. Not to reply.
If I have to answer here personally for myself, I would say:
The one word that describe me and my mindset is KINDNESS.
It is much more than just an act.
Kindness can mean different things to different people. The meaning is how YOU choose to show it. Be it through empathy, acceptance, love, kind gestures, thoughtfulness, optimism, the possibilities are entirely up to you. Kindness might look like being helpful or showing empathy. It may mean doing nice things without expecting nice things in return.
Kindness is beauty.
We are humans, and therefore, we make mistakes. We can be kind in our response to ourselves and others when those mistakes occur. This means thinking before speaking, forgiving before seeking revenge, being patient, loving, helping, affectionate with others and thinking about long-term relationships instead of short-term pride. If we could all remember that no one of us is perfect, we would be a lot kinder to each other. Offer grace, be kind.
I will end this here with just one line in the end,
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”
If you had to explain how to look after your mental heath to an alien, what would you say?
Fiction speaks a thousand words:
Imagine just casually walking home in the daytime from somewhere. You aren’t too far from it, but you can see the house in the distance. You are completely unaware of your surroundings; no warnings; no signs of anything. You feel safe, content. Suddenly, the sky around you begins to turn a crimson red, and quickly— very quickly. The air becomes toxic and burns every time you breathe, and each footstep you take makes your legs and knees feel weaker. You begin to sprint home in hopes to push through this. You see your house get farther from your view as you run toward it. Your safe zone is no longer there; it’s getting farther away by the inch; foot; yard; meter; mile; kilometre. You are not going home. You are alone, and will suffer alone. As you lose your breath and begin to slow down, you realize the pain in your body and collapse completely. Struggling and unable to get up, you keep trying to reach for home. The wind gets thicker and harder to breathe, and the pain becomes more immense. It feels as if gravity became 20x stronger than it used to be. As you helplessly take a look around, the sky and ground have turned to a pitch black. Everything is now nothing, and here you are, being forced into this empty void, with no one there to help you. As your vision begins to fade and you lose your final breaths of air, you feel the emptiness, hopelessness, and helplessness reside and grow within you. Everything slowly centres and fades to black.
Now your turn 🙂
Using an Analogy, I will try to explain what one can feel:
I’m a bird.
I wear my achievements as vivid, kaleidoscopic colours on my wings. Every day, people wake to find me soaring joyfully through the air.
The adults gaze at me as I fly past them. They hear my carefree, light-hearted squawks and see my magnificent accomplishments and shower me with reverence.
“Kids,” they say. "That bird is so impressive. Look how he’s grown into a responsible, strong animal. Work hard, and someday you’ll be like him.”
On the most overcast days my markings become brighter against the murky grey sky; my laugh becomes more energetic amidst the ambience of gloom. They admire me. Idolize me.
Every night I bid farewell to the people and retreat to my nest, a crude, fracturing home built from splintered twigs. I rip the festive colourings on my wings off and toss them to the ground. They reveal deep, hideous gashes, piercing red on my black plume. As I sing myself to sleep, my voice comes out gravelly, strained, as if thrown into an icy river and neglected.
When I wake in the mornings I clip the colourings back on. I drink gallons of water to massage my aching throat. I wipe the tears off my feathers before soaring out to greet the people once more.
Thanks for reading. It helps a lot to know people can see what one is going through 🙂
If money was no object, what would you do/buy to make yourself happy?
A day of complete Freedom, where nothing applies, no rules, no laws, no obligations, no compulsions, just Me how I was intended and the rest of the world. There’s no work, no kept time, no bad thoughts, we are enslaved by our need to be everybody’s version of you but who you are, forcing each personality disorders, bullying other, hurting, stealing just being the worst version of ourselves. People are not smiling and being serine. It gets so emotional in distraught to constantly watch people wear masks all day being guilted into pushing your” inner nice self” to the fullest. Society deems a forever bias “everyman for themselves” repertoire.
Talk about one of your biggest fears. Be honest.
Let’s talk. Pen it down. Share it with me. I will share mine here 🙂
My deepest fear was letting go of people who no longer served my purpose and who were nothing more than a habit. I deeply feared of letting go of all that toxicity, negativity because I was so accustomed to them that without all of it, I knew I would be empty. One very fine day, I learnt that I do not deserve to face this shit and bring myself pain. I decided to cut that diseased part from myself, bleed and finally wait patiently to heal.
My deepest fear was about acting upon my gut feeling because I really feared that it would turn out to be wrong. If only I had known that these feelings are messages from the soul, my story could have been all together very different. I finally faced this fear of mine by falling and then pulling myself together again to stand upright.
My deepest fear was of letting things happen as they happen. I always wanted to control everything and took those so-called necessary steps to make things happen my way. When I finally learnt that what has to happen will happen and my any effort will not change the course of it’s happening, everything changed for good in my life. I faced this fear by experiencing deep pain, but that surprisingly made me strong.
I still have many fears and they are still patiently waiting to be faced.
What’s the biggest lesson you have learned about having good mental health?
5 lessons learnt during 2020:
Utilizing our time is completely in our hands. If we are restricted from going out, we can either while away our time sleeping and watching Netflix, or we can make some good use of our time. I used my lockdown time to enhance my writing skills by taking up various courses and getting my articles published.
We can adapt very quickly to a new way of life. When the pandemic started, we were all very scared of the uncertain future. Now, life has started going back to a new normal. We have all adapted ourselves to this new normal.
Technology and digital revolution are critical for long term sustenance. The world has seen more technological revolution during this pandemic than ever before, and the companies that have really survived well are those that were digitally enabled. I have noticed people who had never used computers are now holding multiple Zoom meetings one after the other. Technology and Digital world is the future.
Health is important – physical and mental. This year has taken a toll on our mental and physical health. We have been tested to the extreme, but we have survived this situation because we remained strong. It is critical to take care of our mental and physical well being.
You can’t always plan everything in life, but you can definitely change your plans according to the situation. I had a set of plans for this year, which involved travelling to multiple countries. Well, all those plans went down the drain, but I decided to make new goals on the spot that did not require me to travel.
2020 taught us that we are stronger than we can imagine. Give us some time, and we can adapt ourselves to any way of life, with a smile on our faces.
What triggers your anxiety/depression? How can you manage that?
My own approach is that anxiety and depression are both normal human emotions that only get trotted out if we need them. I don’t buy into the idea that they are illnesses, though in strength they can certainly make us sick, and some people do get stuck in them.
Anxiety is fear for our well-being. If we have unresolved fears of harm from our past, we may be able to suppress them for years, but eventually they leak out as anxiety.
Depression is a warning that we cannot handle any more emotional pain. Unresolved emotional pain from out past, plus any incoming emotional pain from our present, is hurting us. Depression is so unpleasant because it is pushing us to resolve that pain, even though doing so can be anguishing. Once it is resolved, we feel better.
These are quick, thumb-nail descriptions, but they are more than most people have, so a lot of people are very confused about depression and anxiety. They think they are horrible sicknesses that you get if you are unlucky, when actually they are just very strong nudges from your mind to deal with unresolved emotional pain.
The emotional pain often comes from our childhood, because childhood brains aren’t mature enough to resolve it. But it can come from any time.
A good therapist is often the best way to work through it.
Think about someone who has negatively impacted your mental health. Write them a letter.
It can be anything or anyone. Even at times small talks or insults hurts. The best way is to talk it out or if not then write a letter. It will great if you can hand it over but in case if you don’t still by writing it down it’s out from your heart.
I will help you here by stating points people should say or shouldn’t say;
You should say the following 5 things:
“I see that you’re having a hard time.” People feel better when they’re understood and not judged or analyse.
“I’m here for you.” Depression is very isolating and alienating. Depressed people feel a sense of relief when they don’t feel so alone in their pain.
“You don’t have to figure this out on your own.” Depressed people often believe that they have to figure out on their own how to fix themselves. Then they feel guilty when inevitably, they can’t. They feel a lot less guilty and a lot less overwhelmed when they’re reassured that they don’t have to fix things all by themselves.
“Are you thinking of hurting yourself?” You should always ask a depressed person if they’re having suicidal thought or plans, because you could prevent a tragedy by getting them immediate help.
“Let’s get you some professional help.” Depression is a mental illness and it needs to be treated by qualified mental health professionals. Just like any illness, it won’t go away by thinking different thoughts or going for a brisk walk.
You shouldn’t say the following:
“Snap out of it.” This is an illness. They can’t just snap out of it. They need mental health help in the form of psychotherapy and often they’ll need medication as well to alleviate their symptoms and their suffering.
“You brought this on yourself.” People don’t make themselves depressed with a bad attitude. They become depressed because of a profound loss they’ve experienced and/or because they’re genetically prone to depression. This type of statement only makes them feel bad about themselves and more depressed.
“It’s not so bad.” To the depressed person who feels helpless, hopeless and unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel, it really is that bad. When you minimize their experience you only make them feel worse.
“It’s going to be okay.” You have no idea how it’s going to be. Telling a depressed person something like this will only make them lose their trust in you, because they’re not sure if it’s going to be okay at all. They don’t need your cheer-leading; they need your empathy right now.
What was the turning point of your mental health?
Well, I will narrate here a short brief from a once upon a time a student. I found it inspiring. Share with me your turning points.
Growing up, I didn’t know the importance of mental health because no one taught me about it. Hell, I didn’t even know what those words meant. HAHAHA
I had everything figured out, or so they thought. People made me feel that whatever it was that I was going through, were not valid so I hid it from them. That took a toll on my mental health. I hated everything and everyone. Hated how I was not happy nor sad but numb…. I thought I was just “sad” and it was just the hormones because teenagers tend to react that way but no… All I had were thoughts about taking away my life when it wasn’t mine for the taking.
I majored in Psychology and that’s when I started healing. I learned to value myself more, and the things I was so guilty of doing because it’s not ‘normal’ became my comfort. I accepted my demons and promised to help others who are struggling just like me. Studying about the nature of human mind and behaviour helped me grasp the importance of having a healthy mind. I am still improving, but I am much better than before.
How does social media makes you feel?
Social media use and mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression are correlated. This is not to say that using social media will cause you to have a mental health issue, but rather using social media in a specific way, such as overusing it may increase your chances of developing social anxiety or major depressive disorder.
People are constantly on social media to see what their friends have posted and what everyone on their feed have been up to in their own “lives”. These “lives” may not always depict the true reality that the individual lives in. Some people portray a completely different person on social media by flaunting cars, houses, and material objects they truly don’t own. The people watching the feeds of these people with the fake lives will compare their own lives and engage in a social comparison that will cause them to be sad because they might feel that they aren’t as “successful” as that person showing off all the materialistic stuff.
Further, people are constantly posting material onto facebook, instagram, and snapchat, as well as other social media outlets, anxiously waiting for responses and likes so that they can feel that they are apart of the entire network and not feel excluded. When an individual posts a picture or video and does not get as many likes or responses as they expected, they begin to feel left out and this is where the addiction to social media stems from. They will usually go and utilize other measures to get more followers and more likes so that they can feel satisfied in the social internet world.
Despite all the satisfaction they may receive on social media outlets when it comes to in-person communication, they begin to lack the social skills needed to communicate with others outside of the screen.
This is where problems arise. When people are so used to talking on social media or text, they fear human interaction and can essentially develop social anxiety.
On the other hand, if social media is utilized to learn new material or to promote something positive such as education or activism of some sort, it can only result in positive outcomes and not so much mental ailments.
Do we control our thoughts or our thoughts control us?
First, we are not our thoughts!
Second, our thoughts do not control us.
And third, YES, we do have the ability not only to control our thoughts but also to optimize the way we use our incredible supercomputer – our brain!
You can do a system upgrade of your supercomputer with a bit of maintenance.
Try these 7 tips to get started.
ONE. Work hard to let go of anger and resentment.
Disappointment and feeling wronged or treated unjustly in some way is a normal part of life. This feeling is, at some point, inevitable. You cannot always control every event or situation, but you can control how you react to it.
Take a step back and re-evaluate the situation that is causing you stress: is staying angry really worth your time, your energy, and your health? In many cases it’s better to let go, learn from the event, and move forward. Explore different options where you can focus your energy, such as dedicating time to doing something you are good at, or to working on developing a skill that will be useful to you in your personal development or career.
TWO. Change your attitude towards mistakes.
Being self-critical can be a big factor in having negative thoughts. So you’ve made your share of mistakes, or perhaps you made a really big single mistake. It is something we all do, and we do it often. It’s an integral part of becoming an adult. Take a different approach to your mistakes so that you can grow instead of staying in the same rut.
Try a different strategy of viewing your past by forgiving yourself for mistakes that you made. Reflect on them, learn from them, but don’t dwell or hold on to them. Give yourself the time to think what you did, which results you got, and what you could have done differently. This applies to all areas of your life in which you feel you didn’t achieve what you wanted or maybe underperformed in some way: your relationships and personal life, your professional career, or your education. When you change how you relate to mistakes, you will give yourself more freedom to manage your future more successfully.
THREE. Declutter your mind with meditation.
It’s important to keep in mind that we are not our thoughts, and that there is a way to see our thoughts from a distance to be able to evaluate them better. You can do this by practicing meditation. It does not take a lot of time, it’s simple to follow, and it can be beneficial: it can improve your focus, declutter your mind, give you a greater sense of calm, and help you to feel more relaxed and positive about your life.
It is a guided meditation that starts with 10, and advances to 15 and 20 minute sessions. It’s easy and fun, and a great option for absolute beginners.
FOUR. Practice gratitude every day.
Gratitude rewires our brain to think about positive things, the things that we have going for us, instead of the things we do not have (or have not yet accomplished) and that can leave us feeling worried, anxious, frustrated, and even unhappy.
Create a gratitude journal and write in it for 5 minutes each morning; list 3 things you are grateful for. It can be the simplest of things, such as having a warm bed to sleep in, a roof over your head, a family that loves you, food in your fridge, a dog or cat that you have as your pet, having an education that allows you to read and write, etc.
FIVE. Grow your mindset.
Henry Ford once said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” In other words, if you believe you can think more positively, you can make it happen. Conversely, if you don’t believe in the power of positive thinking, you can easily get stuck in a rut of negativity where you can’t see a way out.
Start nurturing a growth mindset: believe that you can develop your qualities and skills through deliberate and continuous efforts, and that you can change and grow with your life experiences. If there’s something about your mindset you don’t like, you can change it for the better.
SIX. When you think something is too hard to do (“I can’t do this, it’s impossible!”), try a different approach by asking yourself, “Why not?”
Maybe you’re procrastinating, or “awfulizing” or just postponing a task or problem you think is insurmountable. You end up doing nothing about it. But there are different ways to approach the problem.
Think carefully if there is something else hiding behind your procrastination. Maybe it is fear of not being able to do something successfully. Next time you feel like procrastinating, rather than immediately saying “I can’t” ask yourself where the resistance is coming from. Find out what it is so you can do something about it. The benefit? Whenever you say “why not?” you win over fear. There is something really powerful when we leave a little space open for possibilities, instead of shutting the door in our own face. It’s a subtle change in attitude towards ourselves than can have a tremendous impact in our lives.
SEVEN. Give your mind a break by challenging your body.
Doing physical exercise, even if it is targeted and short, can do wonders for your brain. It can improve your brain’s cognitive performance, problem solving ability, and even boost long-term memory. But even better than that: a physical challenge can calm the chaos of your thoughts and turn your mind to simple things.
Find the time in the morning.
Whether it’s a morning yoga routine or a 20-minute run through the neighbourhood, the goal is to stay consistent. Making your workout short will increase your likelihood of sticking to the habit so you can feel the benefits in the long run.
Is there anything good about anxiety? Think!
No. Unless and until it teaches you something. Do share what has it taught to you!
Write five things you love about yourself and explain why?
I will be sharing mine here and would be waiting for yours:
My desire to learn. Curiosity is something that keeps me going.
I love books. I am an avid reader.
I put my family, friends and loved one about everything.
I like my simple sense – Simple Living High Thinking.
I see the best in people, no matter what the circumstances may be.
Write a letter to God/The Universe or whomever you believe in about your mental health.
Be open and share it. Well, a person like me can only opt for a gratitude. So, here is my version 🙂
Thank you, dear god for this beautiful life, and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for all the strength that help me keep going, thank you for everything! I am truly grateful to you for blessing me with such a wonderful life. I am obliged to have a lovely family and friends. I believe people don’t thank you enough for their lives. People tend to be so blinded by the flaws in their lives that they forget there is a happy side to too. I am lucky to have enough food, a shelter and the much needed warmth and love in my life. I will never be able to thank you enough for the miraculous life I’ve been blessed with.
With this we come to end for our thirty day journal...
This blog is especially dedicated to the books – My Books! A Book where I am the AUTHOR!
A few where I am CO-AUTHOR. Will be sharing my collection and contribution to the writing world. Also will keep on adding and updating for future references 🙂
One Step Ahead. Available worldwide on Amazon. Non-Fiction.
Rating: 4.5 out of 5.
This Book is a collection of various articles and works on non-fiction based on real-life experiences. Subjects like Happiness, Hobbies, Challenges, Perfection, Relationships and Technology are covered in this Book. Personally, I feel we all are full of emotions and sentiments. Knowledge is everywhere and can be enhanced more with experience. We can overcome all negativity and achieve anything through love, friendship, acceptance and hope. Destiny can be made and changed!
2. 3 Trimester of life.
They taught us what pain is… Sacrifice is their Middle name… Yes, they are CALLED as Mothers.
Real stories of the mother about the journey of 9 months of having a baby. Released on Mother’s Day.
Motherhood generally describes a part of a woman’s life, but the word often carries a woman’s world in itself. You are frequently asked to get married as soon as you enter a valid age as a girl. Once you are married, the eternal question to plan a baby comes in the queue. Then this story usually starts from the good news. It goes through a long journey of patience for nine months and ends with a melodious cry. This is a story every woman has lived. A story every girl imagines about.
Can You think of a memory attached to the ‘SCENT’ in life? It could be of anything, but indeed close to the heart. I Am Sure you must have more than ONE!
Our brain stores memories through everything we touch, experience, taste, smell, see and many other things. ”SMELL” certainly is an element that helps stored memories flash out.
I personally feel the SCENT – SMELL is the most vital memory trigger. Memories and emotions are a potent combination in themselves.
It can be a smell of perfume associated with ‘SOMEONE’ we are close with or a strong SCENT of lilacs. It could be the scent of the OCEAN or the Mud of the first rain after summer. It could be the smell of coffee or tea made by mother, first in the morning. Bouquet of your favourite food, perfumes, flowers, books and their pages, and so much more…
It can be connected to an event that has had a strong emotional impact on us in the past. So when we smell that particular smell, it can trigger an emotional response. This can happen even years down the road.
It’s a fact that our sense of smell is automatically heavily connected to our memory system. However, few such memories have been engraved in me for a lifetime. The scent that evokes memories for me is Eucalyptus. It has always remained close to my heart. It’s my absolute favourite scent, full of nostalgia, love and simpler times. My childhood memories are attached to it, with many functions, celebrations and gatherings.
Eucalyptus was used by my mother in the mixer of freshly homemade ‘Mehndi’ with a few other ingredients. No celebrations have been completed without applying them on our hands to date. The aroma of mehndi stays for days on hands and months in hearts.
Also, the smell of the gentle monsoon breeze takes me to the afternoon sitting outside our house on a porch with my mother and friends.
Anytime I smell such a familiar smell in life, I try to take it in me as much as I can as a storage for the upcoming days. It makes me feel alive and energetic.
Do you share with me what is yours? Would love to read your share!
Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.” – Andrew Carnegie
I am taking the opportunity to write this blog, as it strike to me while playing a simple game of ‘LUDO’, how important it is form a team and do team-work. This game taught me a lot, that I would be sharing here, which could be applied to various aspects in our life.
7 Mantra of Teamwork to follow in life.
Teamwork is the collaborative effort of a team to achieve a common goal or to complete a task in the most effective and efficient way.
Therefore, successful teamwork requires clearly defined roles and purpose along with the interaction between teammates.
Here are the 7 mantras to observe and take value from.
WHAT ARE THE SIX MOST IMPORTANT WORDS? – I ADMIT I MADE A MISTAKE
THE FIVE MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – YOU DID A GOOD JOB.
THE FOUR MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – WHAT IS YOUR OPINION.
THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – IF YOU PLEASE.
THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT WORDS – THANK YOU.
THE ONE MOST IMPORTANT WORD – WE
THE LEAST IMPORTANT WORD – I
These are to be remembered throughout our life. These will help us to become better people and moreover better leaders.
You may be a great asset yourself, but It does not matter if you cannot lead your team. What’s the point if you cannot utilize your team’s skills and resources.
It will look natural “if it is natural”. Start imbibing these qualities in your life, accept your mistakes, appreciate other’s work, consider feedback’s, give respect where it is due, be humble and believe in TEAMWORK.
In order to have an effective team that can bring you the best in all, you need to involve all your team members in planning and share the workload. Each team member needs to actively participate and contributes towards the successful completion of the assignments. This is the only way to achieve an A+ result. To meet this, you need members who think like a team player. But you cannot simply force them to do so. The only way to achieve this is to inspire them with some successful methodologies. You need to have an understanding about each and every team member and have a clear cut idea about what will bring the best out of them.
In order to have an effective team, we need to have open conversations. This will help to maintain a low level of conflict and will also increase the cooperation of your team members. Few mistakes and few complaints will also make a team effective one. A group of members that will take the responsibility together is an asset for any team.
An effective team will have a clear role and clear-cut goal for their team members. Well defined plan and effective relationship are other qualities of an effective team. Constructive, clear and frank criticism is another quality of an effective team.
Create a team with members that are focused and responsible about their goal in order to walk through the road of grand success. Remember these great words from John Lennon ‘A dream that you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality’.
Teamwork in Business
Nowadays! Everyone wants to succeed in their businesses, want to deliver their best quality products, and excellent services, for delighting their clients. For that, a company’s teams are their backbone for it. Businesses need strong teams that work smartly, with excellence. Without the talented team, you’re just the walking dead without motor skills to go where you want to go.
“A founder’s individual characteristics are important but what’s more important are that person’s ability to bring a bigger and more experienced team with them,” the researchers say. “And the bigger that team the more likely the firm will succeed.”
What is a Team?
A team is any group of people who work together to achieve something to gain a shared outcome. It may be a sales team, or a call centre team, or a rugby team, or the executive team of a multinational corporation. The same simple rules for success apply to all of them.
It starts with the team leader. Every team needs a leader, a captain, a chief, and the success of that team is almost entirely dependent on what the team leader does – and doesn’t do. Great team ensures great teamwork, achieved by consistent application of some age-old basics:
Coaching for performance and growth
Teamwork is defined as “A joint action by a group of people, in which each person subordinates his or her individual interests and opinions to the unit and efficiency of the group.”
This does not mean that the individual is no longer important; however, it does mean that effective and efficient teamwork goes beyond individual accomplishments.
The most effective teamwork is produced when all the individuals involved harmonize their contributions and work towards a common goal.
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” — Oprah Winfrey
Being grateful and spreading gratitude can do so much for yourself and others. We have every day to be thankful for, but we tend to forget to take the time to acknowledge what we have, who we have, and everything around us.
What does being “grateful” really mean? We keep hearing about it, but how come we still don’t practice it? Gratefulness is appreciative of what you have — whether they’re positive or negative experiences.
I have found that the best way to be grateful is to begin by noticing the small things and to acknowledge within yourself how thankful you are for something. For instance, when you get your morning cup of coffee or tea, smell the aroma and the nice feel of the cup in your hands. Then, give a thought of thanks.
When you go outside and see the clouds, think of thanks for the new day and what it will bring. Notice the pattern of the clouds and the play of light and shadow on your surroundings. Feel a thought of thanks for that. Feel all the blessing in life in terms of being alive and loved. Being healthy and not deficit for anything. For all that Almighty has provided us in terms of requirement and abundance. For nature and natural therapies.
Go through your day noticing and being thankful for the little things. Then, let your grateful nature flow out to others around you.
As you practice the small things, it becomes easier and easier to feel grateful for more and more things. Let that attitude spread out even further to your acquaintances and finally to the world at large.
Practice makes it perfect. Pretty soon, you will find that you are more grateful and happier.
The best way to be grateful is to appreciate everything the universe offers with an open heart.
Because the universe never makes mistakes, it always makes miracles.
I am one, you are too!!
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” –William Arthur Ward
Tell your co-worker how happy you are that the two of you are working together. Notice something about your spouse or child (or best friend) that you hadn’t noticed before, and let them know how grateful you are that they have that quality.
1. Share a specific example of something they did for you and how it made a difference in your life.
2. Do something little but thoughtful for them.
3. Give a hug.
4. Tell them you’re there if they have anything they want to talk about.
5. Give them something of yours that you think they would enjoy.
6. Invite them to do something you know they’ve always wanted to do.
7. Encourage them to try something you know they want to try.
8. Offer to do something you know they don’t enjoy doing.
9. Compliment them on a talent, skill, or strength you admire.
10. Look them straight in the eyes and say, “You make the world a better place.”
We all have something or someone to be grateful for. Invest in yourself by taking the time to be thankful throughout your days.
Thinking aloud as of present situation is demanding that distance get us distant with all our relations during this pandemic when we all are quarantine? This tricky situation in all of our lives is what we are facing: does distance between two persons make them distant? Well, answers to this question vary based on personal experience and how they handle their relationship. The distance cannot be only in a romantic relationship. Let me make myself clear here! It can be between friends, siblings, parents, mother-daughter, teacher-students, boss-employees and all those who you can think of right now. Any relation that makes your soul happy. Makes your day brighter. Keeps you going for the day, week, month, year and life!
The first thing we need to know; is it’s gonna be hard.
Not seeing their smile or feeling them will be challenging, and you’ll get a sense of loneliness. But, if you’re lucky, so will be they. It means that both of you feel the same feeling that you want each other. So, keep up with them, ask about how their day was, and be affectionate, keeping your expectations at bay. You can get to know them more by calling on the phone, texting each other, and/or video calls, all perfect ways to maintain a strong relationship.
You’ll have to know that not many people can do a long-distance relationship because of the fact that they can’t see each other. But, if you can have a strong connection from a long-distance, you’ll find a love better than any relationship you can have with a person near you because once you finally see them in real life, the outcome is much better.
If you believe that you found the right person, are smart with your decision and can maintain loyalty to this person, then absolutely go for it.
Maturity. Long distance relationship works but it’s not for everyone. First, distance should never be a sole reason breaking up because many people made it work. Yes, many. Why to be immature about it by making it an issue for breaking up. What made it work for others is this…
“We both want it and so distance is irrelevant to us.”
Know what you want. Openness. What do you want from this relationship and does the other person is in mutual agreement? This is where both have to be open in sharing exactly what they desire from each other.
Whatever it is, there is no right or wrong.
There is only knowing what both want and they both agreed on it.
Being open, honest is going to make communication amazing. It will make the meeting face to face amazing. It will remove awkwardness. That means no lying. Keep it real because you will meet, and trust is a very fragile thing.
There will always be Insecurities What really gets in the way, is the maturity and next is the insecurities. You will always have insecurities. You can receive a text or an email and take it in the wrong way. So, issues like jealousy, possessiveness strike in then your words or their words become mis constructed and feelings get hurt. Distrust starts to happen with lots of assumptions.
How do you then deal with such things?
Communication If people don’t have the time for communication then leave long distance alone. The distance is not then problem it’s maturity, insecurities and a lack of communication. Communication is needed for long distance to work. That’s where a lot of its success came from. If you feel frustrated waiting for call or message, figure it out with using technology. You can now chat, send private messages and text…
Trust The core of the long – distance relationship is fragile, and it’s called trust. At some point there must be trust. You need to trust someone and yes, it is easier said than done when we get insecure people, carrying a lot of baggage who ghost on people.
Focus on nurturing your relationship not ego, tricks, manipulation and jealousy. Make every communication count.
It’s not easy to trust but there comes a point that if you want it to grow, then trust is the next factor that needs to happen.
Conversation Don’t follow the mainstream because they all say talk to all like you do with everyone else. Because they all the same…
There is a language. You can call it decency. This is most powerful tool. It makes the conversation amazing, exciting and always happening.
The art of conversation has truly been lost. Mainstream and many authors have watered it down to appeal to perceptions that is favoured by their social peers. It does a disservice to many couples and lovers around the world because they struggle with conversation.
It’s a skill to not be taken lightly.
Let’s free ourselves from the boundaries we have set. Break the walls. Communicate and spread the love by expressing our feelings. We never know ‘Kal ho na ho’ (today is all we have)!
Hands – brings a lot of emotions and confidence when I think about them. Today I am holding a pen, able to share my thoughts. Credit goes to my hands. My hands are helping me to create something beautiful.
Hands authenticate our destiny by our signature or thumb impressions.
Many times in my life, I have been fortunate enough to give hope, encouragement or gentle touch/pat whenever required. Expressing my love, joy and happiness by embracing, hugging and much more, and receiving back in return was possible only through hands. I remember the ‘Special Hands’ in my life, who have helped me in distress by pulling me out from the pit and holding on to me!
Today, I take this opportunity to thanks to the hands that were there to hold us during toddler days.
Through ”Hands” by touching someone gently can convey so many things:
So much can be done through simple touch with hands!
True friends are difficult to find, which is why we must cherish the friends we have.
Friendship is a relationship where a person has the freedom to choose another person they enjoy spending time with. Most of the time, it’s our heart finding peace and comfort with this person or with these people. Friendship is the home for every wandering soul which is lost.
When you are friends with a person, you can tell them everything without the fear of being judged. Friendship can be cultivated with time and understanding. Some companies are strong and can withstand the test of time and roll like dice when life throws them a curveball. Good friends will give you the space you want when you need it and love you more when you are broken or lack direction.
‘‘When you meet someone and become friends, still not very close but are good friends, your heart starts feeling happy, contemplate and at peace’’ – means you have found the greatest blessing of the universe in the form of ‘friendship’ for yourself.
We love to be surrounded by friends who shower their unconditional love, affection and admiration. No matter how independent, bold, empowered or economically secure we may be, we all seek to bond with other people deep in our hearts. We all seek that ‘anchor’ in our lives. Relationships with our friends make us strong, grow, enrich, evolve and make happy.
In friendship, you don’t have high hopes, and expectations like, for that matter, in any other relationship. It’s when we expect more from others than what we expect from ourselves, our relationships are not going to be nearly as enduring as we might hope.
No one can make promises to bring perfection to a relationship. We need to be willing to accept and forgive people for their mistakes. It’s equally important to acknowledge when we make mistakes so that it’s easier for a friend to forgive and move forward in friendship, and vice-a-versa.
It is also essential to respect other people’s boundaries and their stories. Some people are challenging to get close to and take time to open up. Don’t push them away.
Good friends can acknowledge that everyone is human and don’t judge you for your choices. If you can’t respect your friend’s choices or decisions, which can be different from what you feel is ‘best’, then try to explain and sort it out, else you need to exit from the relationship. It’s not necessary or compulsory for friends to ‘like’ or ‘approve’ their friend’s choices, but good friends accept their friend’s options no matter what. Friendship is the most complicated relationship to maintain.
Maintaining the dignity of friendship in its purest and devoted form is not everyone’s cup of tea. However, I genuinely admire those who can keep their company till the end of their lives, moreover, in its real form without manipulating name or relation to keep it safe.
I wouldn’t have survived if I had NO ONE to confide in. It’s a feeling of stability – to know that I have someone to fall back on in trouble, someone who understands.
Friendship is a two-way street and requires giving and receiving. sOften, you are friends with someone for years and decades but don’t find that comfort, understanding, and peace. On the other hand, it may happen that you just became friends with someone, starting to know a stranger, still feels that’s it’s a lifetime friendship – like you have been knowing each other forever. And then such new friendship goes year long, leaving a mark to all – to understand the depth of lifetime friendship.
I learnt what patience means when I got to know her. She taught me how to be devoted and live life to the fullest. She is a very humble person and an ordinary woman for the world, but she is my first friend after my marriage. I met her some more than 15 years ago. I was newly married and had shifted from the metropolitan city Ahmedabad to Baroda. It was a new experience living in a new town amidst complete strangers, including my husband and in-laws.
I took up a job in the mortgage department with a multinational bank wherein I had to deal with numerous builders and cooperate with lawyers and technicians. She, at that time, was working as a customer care executive with one such renowned builder. We had been talking regularly regarding documents for a couple of months. Finally, after much delay, our meeting was fixed one day. By then, I knew her by her name and her melodious voice, all because of our telephonic conversations.
One afternoon during peak summers, I was waiting for her at her office. When she walked towards me, I saw her for the first time and was utterly amazed to see her’ aura’. She was indeed as beautiful as her name ‘Manisha’! Moreover, she was polite, listened to all the queries patiently, and helped resolve them.
Though she is an introvert by nature, we gradually became friends. As time went by and I started knowing her, I realised that she was elder by age and experience. She lived in a vast joint family with her parents and siblings.
She had dreams like any other Indian girl and wanted to pursue them. But I guess God had other plans for her. With so much struggle and compromise in her personal and professional life, I have seen her shattered and broken, but never once did I see her complaining or giving up. On the contrary, I felt turmoil inside her, but she maintained her calm and composure. No one, including the people who lived with her, was aware of her struggle. She lost her job a couple of times, but her spirit always stayed high.
She became my first mentor after my marriage. At that time, mobile phones were luxurious and not affordable, and there were no features like complimentary incoming and outgoing messages, Internet and WhatsApp. So we used to communicate through letters and STD calls. She became my light in the darkness. She is always there for her family and friends, but I hardly know anyone solely there for her!
One fine morning in 2004, I had just reached the office and got a call on my landline. The conversation left me in a shock, and before I could gather my sense, the receiver had dropped from my hands. The call was from Manisha’s friend, who said she had an accident and was admitted to the hospital. After collecting the hospital’s address, I rushed to be near Manisha. When I entered her room, I was shocked and shattered to see her condition. She was severely injured and had multiple fractures in her hand and leg. There were bandages all over, especially on her head. Her face and eyes were completely swollen.
I came to know she met with an accident the previous night and was rushed to hospital with an emergency ward. The doctors had already performed the operation to save her life as she had suffered a major injury in the head.
It’s the worst experience of life to see the person you love, adore and respect lying in the bed of hospital with bandages all over her body. Everyone from her family was around her. I started praying for her speedy recovery and waited impatiently for her to open her eyes. It was the most challenging time of my life. Doctors had told them she would be admitted for around 15 days, followed by complete bed rest for two months.
Finally, she opened her eyes by mid-afternoon, and the first thing she did was smile and thank God for saving her life. I was amazed to see this gesture. She gave us the courage to fight with the situation, assuring us that this time would pass soon and everything would be alright. She had the strongest willpower, and that day, I learned the lesson from her that no matter what, never give up with your confidence, willpower and determination. Face everything in life with positivity and a smile, and surely you will conquer everything. It took a few months to recover entirely and a few years for her scars to vanish.
But as said, life goes on. I left India in 2006. And despite the vast geographical distance between us, our friendship grew stronger with each passing year. I have the best memories of my life with her – the fights and debates, the laughter and celebrations, our shopping sprees and movie sessions. Even today, our morning starts by giving each other missed calls, which means ‘Good Morning’. It’s been 14 years since we began this friendship ritual, growing stronger with each passing day.
Thanks to advanced technology and gadgets now, helping us stay in touch despite miles apart. Looking forward to the next visit to meet her and hope to celebrate our friendship.
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